Chapter 3

"Come on, baby. Don't be like that. I just asked for your number."

Bella looks terrified, not just scared, but like this guy is about to hurt her. When he reaches up and pushes some stray hair behind her ear, she squeezes her eyes shut. At this point, I'm running toward the truck.

"Hey! Get the fuck away from her!" My voice and presence startle the guy, and he jumps away from the truck.

"Sorry, man. I didn't know she was your girl. She didn't say anything." I don't bother to correct him. I just want him to get away from Bella. She's obviously more than a little upset.

"She didn't say anything because she didn't want to talk to you, ya fuckin' moron!"

The guy starts walking away from the truck, hands up in surrender. "Sorry, man. No hard feelings."

I watch him walk away until he turns and starts down the sidewalk. It's only after he's far away that I turn to look at Bella. She's still got her eyes closed tightly. Her breathing is fast, and it looks like she's trembling. I set the food down on the hood of the truck and speak softly, hoping my voice doesn't freak her out.

"Bella? Are you okay? Did that douchebag hurt you?"

She shakes her head. I'm beginning to worry, because her breathing isn't slowing. She looks flushed. I can see her pulse pounding in her neck, and I start to worry she's gonna pass out or something. Minutes pass before I see a single tear escape her eyes, then I hear her whisper.

"He didn't hurt me. I just couldn't get away from him. He reminded me of someone I used to know, that's all."

That's all, I think to myself. That is not all, but looking at her, I know I can't push.

"And I'll be okay, I just need a few minutes."

"Okay, I'm gonna get in the truck. I don't want the sound of the door to scare you." She just nods. I open the door, flip my seat forward, and put the food in the back of my extended cab. I hop into my seat and sit there for a few minutes, listening to her breathing even out. When it returns to normal, her eyes flutter open.

"Sorry about that. I haven't had a panic attack in a few weeks. That one actually wasn't too bad. I'm sorry if I upset you." Her voice is so small, and it makes that ache in my chest come back.

"You're worried about upsetting me? Bella, I'm fine. I'm just worried about you. Will you be okay?"

She tries a smile, it's small, but a smile, nonetheless. "I'm already better. Thank you for chasing him off. He came up to me and for a split second, I thought he was someone who I used to know, and I just shut down. I knew I couldn't get out of the truck, but I couldn't even say anything. God, I'm such a mess." She covers her face with her hands, almost in shame.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. We all have moments when we wish we could've said or done something different." I don't know what else to say to her, so I start the truck and head back to the motel.

If her voice were any quieter, I wouldn't hear her. "It's one of the things I've been working on in therapy, speaking up for myself. And the first time I really need to do it, I just shut down." She's looking out the window, shaking her head, like she's disappointed in herself.

"Just like any other new skill, I guess you just have to work at it." There, that seems reasonable. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, though. If she's in therapy, then she's obviously got someone trained to deal with this stuff. I'm just winging it.

"That's kinda what Maria, my therapist, said. That it's something I've never done before, so it'll take time to get the hang of it."

I let the moment pass in silence, absorbing everything she's said. I'm dying to ask questions, but I bite my tongue, quite literally holding the barbell there between my teeth. Somehow, I know now is not the time to ask. But when I don't say anything, she continues all on her own.

"I always had to get what my dad and his friends wanted, even when I was little," she says softly. "I only happened to try a piece of Hawaiian pizza at an after-school function my senior year, and I loved it. After eating meat lover's pizza my whole life, I didn't know pizza could be sweet." She laughs a small, humorless laugh through her nose. "It's pretty pathetic. I've had every single decision of my life made for me until the day I decided to get on the bus to L.A. So, it might seem small, but telling you what I wanted was kind of a big deal for me, even if it was just pizza." She turns to look at me. "Thanks for that."

"You're welcome," I say with a nod.

The rest of the drive to the hotel is quiet, each of us probably still processing. The lot is nearly empty when we pull in, and I cut the engine. We unload and walk in companionable silence to my room. I set the food down on the tiny table, then grab the ice bucket.

"Just make yourself at home. I'm gonna run down and get some ice."

"Okay, thanks."

I hurry down the steps and fill the bucket, anxious to get back to her. When I get back in the room, she's already set out plates, napkins, and glasses.

"Hope you don't mind. I saw your dishes over there." She points to the shelving unit in the corner. I don't have much, but I have a few things to make this place feel more like a home.

"No, I said to make yourself at home. Here, take the ice, and I'll wash up so we can eat." I walk over to the sink, and I know she can hear my stomach growl from across the room when I hear her giggle. "What? I'm starving. I really should've had something when I got up this morning."

"Sorry, it was funny!"

I shake my head and smile as I dry my hands. "Okay, let's dig in."

While we eat, we play a silly game of twenty questions. I discover she's from Washington state, she'll be twenty in September, and her favorite color is green. She graduated from high school last year, and on question nineteen, I find out she doesn't have a driver's license.

"How the hell do you do anything without a license?" We're sitting at the tiny table, working on the pizza. I'm kicked back, my legs stretched out in front of me, feet crossed at the ankles and resting on the bed. She's curled up in the chair, her bare feet on the seat and her knees pulled up to her chest. I don't see how she can eat like that.

"Well, I do have a state ID from Washington." She shrugs. "I was never allowed to get my license. Dad wanted me to depend on him or friends of his. If I couldn't get a ride, I either walked or took my bike. Once I got here, I didn't have the means to take the test. And I don't have a car or even know anybody to borrow one to take it. It's not a priority anyway. The bus line runs right by here."

"Well, that's just fucking ridiculous. Do you want to get your license now? I mean, hell, Bella, you could use my truck for the test."

She smiles. "I'll think about it. My life is so ... uncertain right now. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'll keep it in mind."

"Okay then." Feeling the need to lighten the mood, I go for silly. "Now that all of that is settled, let's move on to more serious matters, Ms. Swan. How do you feel about an intense game of go fish?"

Her responding laugh brings a smile to my face and that ache back to my chest. We spend the next three hours playing all kinds of card games, never taking it too seriously. When she realizes how late it is, she decides to call it a night. As we pack up her stuff, her bag falls off the bed, spilling the contents all over the floor. I help her gather it all and happen to be the one to pick up her bag from the pharmacy. I check the label before handing it to I suspected, it's a bottle of prenatal vitamins. I hand the bag to her, trying to get her to look me in the eye.

"Bella?" My voice is low, gentle. I don't want to spook her. "Hey." She finally looks up, and she takes the bag from me.

"Thanks."

"So, I just remembered I have one more question left." She squeezes her eyes shut, like she knows what's coming next. "Bella? Are you, I mean, are you having ..."

"I'm pregnant." She speaks so softly that I can barely hear her. We're both silent for a few beats. "Oh God, I'm having a baby." Her breathing has picked up again, and her eyes have filled with tears.

"Hey, it's okay. Just breathe, Bella. Did you just find out?" Even though I want to offer her some kind of comfort—a hand to hold, a hug, anything—I get the feeling that I shouldn't touch her.

She shakes her head. "No, it's just the first time I've told anyone who isn't a doctor." She's almost gasping for breath as she speaks. "I've known for about six weeks, but I haven't had to tell anyone else."

"Bella, hey." She looks at me, panic evident in her eyes. "You're okay. Take a deep breath. Slow down. I don't have a paper bag for you to breathe into. In, out. That's it, beautiful. Hey, breathe with me." I make exaggerated breaths, trying to help her slow her breathing. When she's finally breathing normally, I sit and pat the bed next to me. "Here, sit for a minute. I can't let you go off alone yet."

She nods and takes a seat next to me. We're close, but not touching. It dawns on me, in the time we've spent together, we haven't, even once, touched. "Wanna talk about it?"

She just shrugs her shoulders, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. "You're the only person who knows about it besides my doctor and my therapist. I left home before I found out. I was here for a week or two when I started getting sick. I thought it was just the flu or something, but it didn't go away. With all the crazy going on in my life, I didn't even realize I was late. I found a clinic to take a test. They told me all the options I had ... have ... but I know, for me, I couldn't get rid of it. I still don't know if I'm going to keep it, but I know abortion isn't an option for me. So, maybe adoption. I don't know." Her head drops into her hands, and she rubs at her temples.

"So, if I'm the only other person who knows, does that mean the father doesn't know?" The thought of not knowing that I had a kid out there makes me uncomfortable. I'd want to know, even if I wasn't with the mother.

She's shaking her head again. "No, and I don't want him to know. He can't know." She looks up at me, fear in her eyes. "Edward, you can't say anything to anybody. If he finds out, I don't know what he'll do." Her arms are wrapped around her middle, as if to protect herself and the life growing inside her.

"Okay, okay, I won't. It was just a question." I take a deep breath, steeling myself to ask the question that's suddenly gnawing at my gut and making my chest ache in an all new way. Even though I'm internally seething at just the thought, I try to soften my voice. "Bella, what did he do? Did he hurt you? Is that why you left?"

She suddenly bolts upright, grabbing all her stuff. "I need to go." Before I can stop her, she's already at the door. "Thank you for the pizza." Then she's gone, and I'm left standing there, wondering what the hell just happened.

On auto pilot, I clean up the food and trash and wash the few dishes. I go through my nightly routine before I sit on the edge of my bed and cradle my head in my hands. With everything quiet again, my mind sorts through all the chaotic thoughts swirling around in my head.

She never answered my question, but it's obvious by the things she's said and the way she's acted, she's been hurt. She left home with a duffel bag and no plan. She said the guy at the pizza place reminded her of someone, and the way she reacted to him—her panic attack—must mean he reminded her of someone who hurt her. My gut screams at me that it was her asshole ex. It's no wonder she wants to hide the baby from him. My stomach clenches and nausea rolls through me, and I flop back onto my bed, scrubbing my hands over my face. Just the thought of somebody hurting her ...

I feel a sudden rush of protectiveness for Bella. She's all alone, scared, pregnant with a baby she may or may not keep. It's in that moment that I vow to myself to be there for her—as a friend, someone to talk to, someone to look out for her.

I spend the next day running a few errands, then I pop in to say hey to Bella, careful not to bring up last night. She apologizes for taking off like she did, and I wave it off, not wanting to make a big deal about it. I'm careful to keep my physical distance and to keep my voice easy and calm, even though I'm dying to beg her to talk to me. But my approach seems to make her more at ease, so I go with it. We make plans to eat the rest of the pizza and the lasagna left from last night for dinner.

Neither of us mention the baby, her ex, or anything else that might make her uncomfortable. It's a pleasant evening spent talking and playing cards. Even with the elephant in the room, it's nice to just hang with a friend.

The next few weeks go like that. I take her to the store a few times and pick her up a couple of times from her group therapy session. And we spend time almost every evening together, even if it's just watching some dumbass movie on cable and sharing a bag of microwave popcorn. Bella's sworn off soda except for weekends, saying that her doctor wouldn't be too happy with her sugar intake.

We still haven't really talked about the baby. It's come up in passing, like her comment about her doctor, but I can tell she doesn't really want to talk about it. So, when she asks me out of the blue if I can go with her to her doctor's appointment the next day, I'm a little surprised. We're at the laundromat, like we have been the last couple of Sundays, when she speaks up.

"I understand if that's crossing some line of our friendship. I just really don't want to go alone. My last appointment was too early to hear the heartbeat, and I don't want to be alone when I hear it. Or worse, be alone if they still can't find it, like if something is wrong." She's twisting her fingers and fidgeting again, so I feel the need to jump in, since she's still rambling.

"Bella, stop. Yeah, I'll come with you. Don't worry about it. What time is your appointment?" Her scrunched up nose and squinty eyes are enough for me to know I'm not going to like the answer, even if she does look adorable. "Bellaaaa?"

"Nine in the morning." She says it quick, like she's ripping off a Band-Aid.

I can't stop the groan that comes out of me. "Nine?" I know I sound like a whiney kid, but damn, that's early for me. "I'm not even awake that early on my day off." Now I'm just pouting, which is making her giggle.

"I'm sorry, but I had to schedule it early, before my shift starts. How about I treat you to breakfast for driving me?"

I'm giving her my version of the evil eye, half-hearted though it is. "Fine. But I won't promise that I'll be in a good mood."

"Thank you!" She hops up on her tiptoes and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. It's the first physical contact we've had, and it catches me off guard. Even though it's quick, it leaves my cheek warm and tingly.

The next morning greets me way too early. I'm knocking on her door at eight-thirty, and as promised, less than chipper about it. She opens the door, and I'm met with her smiling face.

"Hey. Let me grab my bag, and I'm ready to go." I just grunt in response. We walk down to the truck, and she gives me directions to the clinic. Pulling up, I can see that it isn't the greatest place, but I don't say anything. I'm sure it's the best she can do right now, no need to stress her out about it.

We walk in, and the waiting room is already almost full. There are pregnant women and little kids everywhere I look. As we wait, I get a few stares from the moms, and a few of the kids, too. I'm used to it, though. Bella seems lost in her own head, so I don't try to start up any conversation. They eventually call her name a few minutes after nine, and she stands. She looks down at me, biting at her lower lip before she speaks.

"Will you come back with me?"

"If you want me to."

"Please?"

I nod, stand, and follow her to an exam room. They get her weight, and the nurse tells her she's up two pounds from last time, which I guess is a good thing. In the room, the nurse takes Bella's blood pressure and says it's all good.

"The doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes." Then she's gone.

"Thank you for coming with me. I didn't want to be alone for this."

I give her a smile. "Isn't that what friends are for?"

"Yeah, I guess. To be honest, I didn't have many friends growing up, and definitely none I still keep in touch with. So, I guess that makes you my best friend." Before I can respond, a woman in a white lab coat steps into the room. She's older, maybe in her mid-fifties, with a kind smile on her face.

"Hello, Miss Swan. How are you today?"

"Good. Um, this is my friend Edward."

The doc looks in my direction, still smiling. "Hello there. I'm Dr. Woods. It's nice to see Bella have some support. Thank you for coming with her." She turns back to Bella. "Okay, so according to your chart, you're at fourteen weeks, putting your due date at November seventh, so we should be able to hear the heartbeat today. But let's get all the other stuff out of the way first."

She proceeds to ask questions about symptoms, her diet, stuff like that, all while examining Bella.

"We got your lab results back, and the STD screening came back negative, so that's one less thing to think about. I know you were worried." I see Bella physically relax at that. "Just keep in mind, if you're sexually active, you're still at risk for an STD, even if you can't get pregnant, so be sure to use protection."

The thought of Bella being with anyone puts a knot in my gut, but I push it away when I notice Bella's face turning a weird shade of red.

The doc starts pressing down on Bella's abdomen. "Okay, it's still a little early to get a measurement on you. Pull up your shirt and roll down your pants a bit." When she does, I can just make out a barely there bump between Bella's hip bones. Bella is so tiny, and so is the bump. The doc then starts feeling around, pushing in spots. I want to jump up and ask what the hell she's doing, pressing on the baby like that, when she speaks up.

"We'll measure you starting at the next visit, I think. Here, give me your hand." Bella reaches out, and the doc moves her hand to her belly. "Do you feel this? This is the top of your uterus, or the fundus, and down here"—she moves her hand lower—"is where we measure from at each visit. You should grow roughly one centimeter per week, and that will tell us if the fetus is growing properly." She turns to the counter to get something, but she continues to speak to Bella. "I want you to try to eat a little more, though. Fresh foods especially and watch out for the carbs. I don't want you to develop gestational diabetes. You need to be gaining just about a pound a week at this point. We're going for an overall gain of twenty-five to thirty-five pounds. Though with your small frame, I'd say closer to twenty-five pounds is better. Did you have a chance to get any of the books I mentioned last month?"

"Yeah, I checked some out from the library. I've been reading them."

"Good. Okay, let's get to the good part. This shouldn't be cold. It was in the warmer." She squirts some blue gel on the end of a little wand-like thing she calls a doppler and spreads it around Bella's bump. The doctor flips a switch and a sound fills the room. I can hear weird noises, gurgling, swooshes, and then I hear something that sounds like a galloping horse. The doc stills her movements.

"There it is—your baby's heartbeat."

Bella's hand shoots out toward me, and I grasp it. A strange feeling comes over me. Hearing that sound, knowing there's a life growing inside Bella, seeing the silent tears slipping from her eyes, that protectiveness that I felt before explodes. In that instant, know I'll do whatever I can to protect them both, whatever comes her way. I then realize how fast the beat is. I clear my throat and ask the question rolling around in my head.

"Is it supposed to be that fast?"

With a kind smile and a nod, she answers. "Yes, it sounds perfect. Bella, do you have any questions?" She removes the little wand and wipes down Bella's stomach.

"No. I think I'm okay. If I think of something, can I call the clinic?"

"Absolutely. Just remember, if you feel any cramping or have any spotting, don't hesitate to call. You're officially in the second trimester, and your risk of miscarriage is drastically reduced, but there could always be problems. I won't see you again until eighteen weeks. There's a small chance you could feel fetal movement by then, but more than likely it will be after your next appointment. If there's nothing else, I'll just see you then. It was nice meeting you, Edward, and call if there are any problems, Bella." We both give a nod, and with that, she slips from the room.

"You okay?" I ask. She looks like she could burst into tears at any second, but she nods at me. "That was pretty awesome. Thank you for sharing it with me."

She turns to me. "No, I should be thanking you." We're still holding hands, and judging by the grip she has on me, she won't be letting go any time soon. "And that was pretty awesome." She has a teary smile on her face. I can only imagine the emotions running through her.

"Okay, let's go schedule your next appointment. I remember the promise of breakfast for dragging my lazy, grumpy ass outta bed so early." That gets a giggle. I tug on her hand, helping her to stand. We make our way to the desk, and she talks to the receptionist to see what's available. I suddenly realize I want to come with her next time, too. I overhear their conversation, going over what's available.

"We have on opening first thing at eight, or an eleven o'clock that day. That's all I have open. Sorry."

"Oh, I guess the eleven. It'll take me a while to make it over here on the bus." It's then that I step up next to her.

"Take the eight. I can bring you again." Her eyes are huge.

"Are you sure? I know you don't like getting up so early."

I just shrug my shoulders. "It's just one day, right? I'll survive." What I don't say is how much I want to come with her next time. She schedules her next visit, and we're off to find breakfast. We decide on a little diner that's on the way back. We're seated in a booth, and after looking over the menu, we place our orders.

"So, I think I've made a decision."

"Yeah? About what?"

"The baby."

My heart is pounding now. I can't explain why, but the thought of her giving it up tears at my insides. "And what have you decided?"

She sits up straight, resolve on her face. "I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm going to keep it."

"Yeah?" I can't hide the smile on my face.

"Yeah." She's smiling too.

"What helped you decide?"

"Hearing that heartbeat, I don't know, just made it more real, I guess. There's a little person growing inside me. Someone who's half me. It isn't the baby's fault for sharing genetic material with an asshole. Besides, I would spend the rest of my life wondering. Wondering where he or she is, if they're happy, being taken care of. I honestly don't know how it's gonna work out, but I can't give it up."

I reach across the table and take her hands in mine. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but that tingly feeling is back, and I kind of like it. Any reservations or fears I had about getting too close to this girl and her complicated life disappear. "I'm sure it'll all work out. We'll figure it out together."

And that's the last of the one shot. I really don't know when I'll get back to this one, but I hope soon. I do have a few more chapters of this written, but I want to have a good chunk in the bank before I post any more. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and favoriting this one! For updates, pics, and teasers, come join me over in my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. I'll be back on Tuesday with a Dominion of My Heart update. So, until next time ...

Lots of love,

~Sunshine