AN: I've already posted this story once a few years back, so you might've seen it before. This is a rewritten version, with some changes as well as an expanded ending.

This is: Crack, Time Travel Parody, Code Theory Parody. You've been warned~

The container hissed and cracked open, revealing—

"What the hell is that?"

Suzaku's head snapped in his friend's direction, his expression torn between confusion and disapproval. "Lelouch! That's a person you're talking about!"

The look Lelouch sent him clearly said 'Are you an idiot?'

"I can see that," Lelouch said dryly, pointing his finger at the figure lying prone on the ground. "But perhaps you'd like to explain to me why I am staring at my reflection. Didn't you say it was poison gas?"

Both friends simultaneously turned to look at the silent figure, taking in the pale skin, black hair, and lean frame, wrapped in a white restraining suit. Suzaku scratched his chin awkwardly.

"Well," he said, "it certainly doesn't look like poison gas."

"It!" Lelouch seemed personally offended by the remark. "Look who's calling the kettle black now!"

Suzaku was about to open his mouth to defend himself when he was interrupted by a loud cough coming from the container. His eyes flicked to the still bound Lelouch-look-alike, who was lying on his stomach and giving them an annoyed stare.

"Should we…?" He trailed off, turning his gaze to his oldest friend. Lelouch was frowning, his eyes darting between the container and Suzaku. He didn't seem very inclined to move any closer to the prisoner.

"Suzaku," he started slowly, "I'm serious, what the hell is this? Is this some kind of experiment? Has Britannia cloned me?" The last words were almost whispered, and Lelouch's face contorted in a cross between disgust and trepidation. His look-alike grunted again, and Lelouch shot him a wide-eyed look that seemed to contain all his fears.

Suzaku watched all of this with furrowed eyebrows.

"I don't know, Lelouch. We were told this was poison gas, I don't-" His eyes suddenly became wide with realization. "Wait! Maybe he's your twin!"

Lelouch stared at him for a long moment with a blank expression, before his head darted to the figure struggling with the straps of the suit, then back to Suzaku. He shook his head. "I don't have a twin."

Suzaku crossed his arms across his chest. "Well, how do you know?"

Lelouch stared at him for a moment, then— "I think I'd know if I had a twin, Suzaku."

Suzaku didn't relent. "Well, what if you were separated at birth?"

Lelouch gaped at him, once again ignoring the grunts coming from their third companion. "And what the hell is this, some kind of a fairytale?"

Suzaku lifted one of his fingers, trying to imitate what he thought was teacher poise. "What is more likely, that he is your twin or your clone?"

"…are you asking me whether it's more likely that I have a long lost brother or that Britannia has been conducting illegal experiments?"

"Err…"

"Excuse me!" Came the muffled voice from the container, and both boys immediately turned their heads in his direction. The person somehow managed to chew through the gag and was now struggling to speak. "Maybe if you asked ME, I could tell you!"

Lelouch shot to his feet, approaching the person with trepidation. "Who the hell are you? And why do you look like me?"

Lelouch-look-alike rolled his eyes. "Now you ask. Maybe untie me first..?"

Lelouch and Suzaku exchanged glances, seemingly coming to a silent agreement, but when the brown-haired boy crouched down to start working on the straps, Lelouch snapped, "Like hell! Answer my question first!"

The third boy shot him an annoyed glare, turning his head to the still hesitating Suzaku with pleading eyes. "Suzaku, please?"

The Japanese boy shuffled his feet nervously, but before he got a chance to respond, Lelouch cut in, "And how do you know his name?"

"You repeated it at least three times!"

Not one to like being told he was wrong, Lelouch only glared harder at his counterpart. "Don't try to take advantage of Suzaku's soft heart!"

The bound boy almost banged his head on the ground. "Seriously? The military will be here in a min—"

Just then, the lights in the tunnel flared to life and the trio found themselves face to face with a whole squad of Clovis' Royal Guard. Lelouch and Suzaku both shielded their eyes.

"Damn monkey!" The Britannian officer at the front shouted. "I don't recall giving that much authority to an Honorary Britannian."

Suzaku immediately shot to his feet, running up to the man. "But I heard this was poison gas—"

"You don't have the right to argue!" The man snapped, before his face contorted in a somewhat more pleasant expression. "But in light of your accomplishment, I'll give you a chance." His hand reached to his holster, and a moment later he presented the Japanese boy with a gun. "Private Kururugi, use this to kill the terrorist."

Suzaku recoiled, his gaze snapping back to Lelouch and the other boy. "But he's not a terrorist! He's just a civilian who's been caught up in this!"

"Bastard…This is an or—" The man suddenly stopped short, finally focusing his gaze on the two other people behind Suzaku. He did a double-take. "What the— There are two of them?"

All the soldiers suddenly started murmuring between themselves, giving the squad an air of disarray.

"Shut up!" The officer snapped, silencing all of his subordinates with two words. "Obviously, the one we're looking for is that one in white!"

Most of the Royal Guard nodded to that statement, but one of the more brave, or stupid, men stepped forward and spoke up, "But sir! What if they switched places?"

The whole tunnel was silent for a moment, all eyes focused on the man who suddenly didn't seem so sure of himself.

"I-I mean," he stammered, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. "Twins do that in movies all the time!"

The person in restraining suit snorted, and all attention was once again focused on the two Britannian boys. Lelouch felt the need to defend himself. "We're not twins!"

The man who dared to speak against his superior shot him an annoyed stare. "Yeah, and what else can you be? Clones?"

Suzaku sent Lelouch a smug look. Told you.

Lelouch glared at his friend.

"Ridiculous," the commanding officer eventually snapped, dismissing his subordinate's concerns. "When the hell would they have time for that?"

"We don't know how much time they spent here," the other man reasoned, before cowing under his superior's furious gaze. "But probably not enough!" He squeaked.

The Officer nodded generously, turning his gaze back to the trio. "Of course not. However, you raise an excellent question," the man smiled crookedly, showing one golden tooth. "We probably would be rewarded for bringing the subject back, but think about the reward when we bring two of them! That way, when one dies, they will have another!"

Lelouch's mouth dropped open, his eyes widening in fear. It was bad enough when they wanted to kill him, but now they wanted to bring him to Clovis? Hell no!

The officer's gaze landed on him again, and Lelouch realized he spoke these last words out loud. The man's lips quirked in a mocking grin. "Something you don't like, boy?"

Lelouch opened his mouth to speak, but the man didn't give him the chance.

"You!" He snapped to Suzaku. "Make up for your insubordination and handcuff the terrorist!"

"But—" Suzaku wavered in place, at a loss for what to do. While he no longer was expected to kill Lelouch, handing him over to his family was just as bad.

"Oh, just do it, idiot," the other 'Lelouch' snapped, and Suzaku got the distinct feeling that he would be tapping his foot on the ground if his legs weren't bound.

Lelouch sent his counterpart a betrayed stare.

"What! You didn't want to help me!"

Suzaku hesitated for a few more seconds, but he didn't get a chance to react. A shot rang out and Suzaku's body hit the ground.

"Suzaku!"

"Soldiers are supposed to obey orders," the Officer stated plainly, sending the two boys a smile. He waved his arm at two of his subordinates, causing them to move over to the two Britannians. One of them lifted the prisoner off the ground, while the other bound Lelouch's hands behind his back, then dropped him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Hey!"

"We're going," barked the officer, and they moved.

Lelouch stared morosely at the disappearing body of his friend, cursing terrorists for choosing that day to start their operations.

"He's alive, you know."

Lelouch's head snapped in the direction of the voice, his eyes focusing on his look-alike, who was currently hanging from the back of the other guard. Fortunately, they were at the end of the procession, so no one heard him, and the guards carrying them apparently decided to ignore it."What?"

"Suzaku. He's still alive."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes in suspicion, straining his neck to look at the other boy. "And how do you know that?" He hissed quietly.

"I just do."

"That's not an answer!"

"Well, that's what you're gonna get!"

Lelouch pursed his lips and purposefully looked away from his counterpart. The other boy's mouth dropped open. "What, you're going to take offense now? Really?"

Lelouch didn't respond, and the other boy sighed heavily. "Was I always like this?"

"And what was that supposed to mean?" Lelouch demanded, his gaze back on his companion.

"Nothing," the 'subject' rolled his eyes.

The prince gritted his teeth, giving the boy an annoyed stare. "At least tell me finally who you are!"

The other paused, considering the request, before giving his companion a brilliant smile.

"I suppose I can do that," he said smugly. "My name is—" he paused for effect. Lelouch's eye twitched. "L.L.!"

Silence. Then—

"…that's not a name!"

L.L. deadpanned. "You don't say."

Lelouch glared at him. "Just tell me the truth, damn it!"

L.L. once again rolled his eyes, giving a dramatic sigh.

"Fiiine," he drawled. "My name's Le—" the soldier carrying him stumbled, cutting the reply off, "lou— Agh!" It looked like he bit his tongue.

Lelouch stared at him flatly. "Your name's Lelou? Seriously? Who came up with that? Father?"

"You'd be surprised," 'Lelou' snapped, then winced when the words only furthered the pain in his tongue.

"It's true, then?" Lelouch bit his lip, his voice laced with despair. "You really are my twin brother?"

Lelo was too busy sucking on his tongue to respond, so Lelouch took his silence as confirmation. "God! And they used you as a test subject? What kind—"

He didn't get to finish that sentence because the Royal Guard suddenly stopped short, and Lelouch realized that they found themselves in front of Clovis' G-1 Base. The commanding officer indicated the two soldiers carrying him and Lelou to step forward, while everyone else dispersed.

They moved along the corridors, and Lelouch felt dread settling in the pit of his stomach. This was it. All his worst nightmares always came down to this. He would be presented to Clovis, taken back to the homeland, forced to bow to his father… unless he was used as a test subject instead.

Suddenly, the first option started having more merit.

The door to the commanding center opened, and Lelouch felt himself unceremoniously dropped to the floor. Letting out an 'Ouch', he rolled onto his stomach, lifting his head and firmly meeting the gaze of his older brother.

Clovis, for his part, was doing quite a good imitation of a fish. His eyes darted between the two bodies lying on the ground, while his mouth repeatedly opened and closed, but no sounds came out. The one who finally broke the silence was a tall bald man in general's uniform, positioned at the right side of Clovis.

"Officer!" He barked to the man who brought Lelouch to the base. "What is the meaning of this?!"

The Royal Guard straightened his back and grinned, obviously not reading the mood at all.

"We have recovered the subject as asked, but we also accidentally stumbled upon him," he nudged Lelouch with his foot. "To make sure there was absolutely no mistake, we brought them both, so you can decide what to do with the other one."

The general was speechless. A vain suddenly bobbed on his head, while his fists clenched and unclenched in the silence that followed.

"You… imbecile!" He finally managed, pinning the officer with a frosty glare. "What subject are you talking about? Where's the girl?"

The man stumbled backward, obviously taken off guard by the statement. "B-but… The container—"

"Lelouch?" All eyes in the room turned to Clovis, who finally seemed to regain his ability to speak. "Is that… is that you?" His eyes flicked between Lelouch and his twin in confusion, but there was also something akin to hope in his gaze.

Figuring that his cover was blown anyway, Lelouch opened his mouth—

"Yes!" … and spoke up at the same time as his counterpart.

Both boys turned their heads to glare at each other.

"Bartley!" Clovis shrieked, taking a step forward as if to help his brother up, but hesitating as to which one. "Why is my brother bound on the ground! …err, brothers? I didn't know you had a twin, Lelouch! Wait, why are you even alive? …not that I don't want you to! …God, my head hurts! Which one of you is Lelouch?!"

Bartley's head whirled to the two boys, doing a double-take. His mouth dropped open and his face paled several shades. The officer who captured Lelouch, on the other hand, was gaping at Clovis like the prince has lost his mind. "Brother… he… what…"

"Untie them!" Bartley shouted, and some of the personnel finally moved to help them. Lelouch felt the handcuffs leaving his wrists and gentle hands lifting him. Finally being able to stand, Lelouch massaged his bruised wrists and glared at Clovis, who was now hovering a few feet away from him with a worried expression.

"This… this is Prince Lelouch? I mean, one of them? The one who was presumed dead in the invasion?" Bartley was wiping the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief, his gaze darting between Lelouch, Clovis, and Lelou.

Lelouch sent the general a withering look. "'This' stands right here and can hear you."

Bartley's face became almost ashen, and he was quick to drop to a bow. "Forgive me, Your Highness, I didn't recognize you at first. You and your… brother?"

The said brother raised an eyebrow in amusement, giving the general a mocking stare. "Why, general? Shouldn't you know your royalty?"

The man sweatdropped, obviously caught between a rock and a hard place. Lelouch sighed, quickly concluding that his twin brother wasn't what the military was looking for. He decided to take pity on Clovis' right-hand man. "He says his name is Lelou. I just found out about his existence too. He was in your container."

Clovis paled, while everyone else exchanged glances. It was then that Lelouch realized that while maybe they didn't expect Lelou, they certainly expected someone else. His gaze hardened.

"Just what were you looking for, Clovis?"

His brother swallowed, before turning his head to his personnel. "Everyone, leave me alone with my brother. Err, brothers. Now."

"But Prince Clovis—" Bartley started, but Clovis sent him a frosty glare and the man relented. Before everyone filled out of the room, Clovis spoke one last statement to his general, "Oh, and Bartley. I want that officer who was responsible for this rough treatment of my brother executed."

The said man paled, looking like he was about to break into a run but was promptly stopped by several other guards stationed outside the door. In one last desperate move, he turned to Lelouch with pleading eyes. "Forgive me, Your Highness! If I knew who you were—" Someone kicked him in the stomach and the soldier stumbled to the ground, promptly being carried out of the room.

Lelouch tried and failed to feel pity for the man. This soldier killed Suzaku. He deserved much worse.

"Now, Lelouch and… Lelou," Clovis started, when only the three of them were left in the room. "Do you mind… ah, explaining? We thought you were dead! What happened to you? And you, Lelou, was it? How did you find yourself in that container?"

"I was granted a second chance at life as a reward for my sacrifice. I intend to fix all my mistakes and do everything right this time. However," he paused, suddenly reaching for a firearm hidden in the folds of his white suit, "you, Clovis, must die, for the crimes you would inevitably commit. Also, stop calling me 'Lelou'."

Clovis stumbled backward a few steps while Lelouch gaped at his twin. "What! And where did you get that gun?!"

Lelou shrugged, raising the gun and pointing it at Clovis' head. The blond whimpered.

"I took it from one of the guards who helped me up before."

"Wait!" Clovis shouted, waving his arms in surrender. "You can't kill me! We're brothers!"

Lelou deadpanned. "Didn't you hear a word I just said?"

"Something about reincarnation? And not calling you Lelou? I agree, that's just an awful name. What should we call you instead?"

Lelou clicked the safety off. „L.L. is fine, though you won't get many chances to use it."

"Wait!" Lelouch interjected, preparing to defend his older brother. "You can't just kill him!"

His twin him gave him a cross stare. "And why not?" He demanded.

"I don't want to be accused of murder because of you!" Lelouch stated matter of factly.

Clovis sent his younger brother a betrayed look. "Lelouch!"

L.L. seemed to be considering this. "That indeed might be a problem," he agreed. "But only for you. So maybe I should kill you too and take your place." He moved the gun from Clovis to Lelouch.

Lelouch gaped in shock. "I'm your twin brother!"

"And I'm your half-brother!" Clovis piped up, trying to move away from the dangerous individual. He squeaked when he realized that he only drew attention to himself.

The twin gave a long-suffering sigh and counted to ten.

"Clovis," he eventually spoke slowly, as if talking to a child, "you have been conducting several illegal experiments in your search for immortality or geass, I don't know which. Also, you were ready to commit genocide to cover your tracks, which is enough to condemn you to death."

Clovis gaped, while Lelouch looked at his twin as if he was mad. The other boy stared at them with a cold expression.

The Viceroy finally managed to stutter out, "That creepy child sent you, didn't he?"

"Creepy… you mean V.V.?"

Clovis pointed a finger at him in an accusing manner. "Ha! I knew it! You work for that creepy child, don't you! He sent you to sabotage my plans to save the world, didn't he!"

This time it was L.L.'s turn to be speechless. "Wha—"

Lelouch interrupted both of them. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Clovis moved to land a hand on his younger brother's shoulder, completely ignoring the gun that was now pointed at the both of them. "You see, father conceived of this 'grand plan' to completely wipe out humanity off the planet and make everyone into one being. Now, that would be awful, don't you think? So, I tried everything in my power to stop this, but it looks like that creepy child sent an assassin after me!"

Lelouch stared at him for a long moment, before declaring, "You're all mad."

Clovis' face contorted in grief, while L.L.'s hand shook wildly. "You what! Do you seriously expect me to believe that you're one of the good guys! Preposterous!" He exclaimed, glaring daggers at Clovis. "Then what about C.C.!"

"Well, I knew that father needs two Codes to start the Connection, so I've been looking for a way to remove C.C.'s Code and thus save the world!" Clovis declared pompously.

L.L. buried his face in his hands, dropping the gun. "What kind of alternate dimension is this? In mine, you wiped out an entire ghetto just to find her!"

"Well, of course," Clovis stated matter of factly. "What is worse, one ghetto or the entire world? I can't let the emperor get—" His eyes widened in realization, and he took a few shaky breaths. "C.C.! I still need to find her!"

"Just who is this C.C.," Lelouch snapped, fed up with all this nonsense. His eyes flicked from Clovis to his second brother, who still seemed to be in a state of shock after recent revelations.

Clovis was happy to provide an answer. "She's an immortal woman with long green hair and golden eyes. Oh, and she has this red symbol on her forehead, which is…" the blond trailed off, looking strangely at his second brother.

"What is this?" Lelouch frowned, thrown off guard by the pause.

Clovis completely ignored him in favor of focusing all his attention on the other boy.

"Say, L.L.," he started slowly, tilting his head. "What is this symbol on your neck?"

L.L. blinked, his neck twisting in search as the said symbol. „What are you talking about?"

"This!" Clovis exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the other man's throat. "You have C.C.'s code, don't you!"

L.L.'s jaw dropped. „What? No!"

Clovis nodded to himself as if that made perfect sense. "This is why you were in that container. It explains everything."

"…it really doesn't."

"Exactly," Lelouch cut in, annoyed at being ignored. „It's just a tattoo. Can you finally start making sense? What code are you talking about?"

Clovis tore his gaze away from the strange symbol to focus again on his long lost brother. A long sigh left his lips before he started speaking. "Code grants immortality to its bearer. In short, if you have the Code, you can't die."

Lelouch gave him a disbelieving stare. "You can't seriously expect me to believe this."

"I can prove it!"

"...how?"

"Easy," Clovis shrugged, bending down to pick up the previously abandoned gun. Pointing it at L.L.'s head, he said, "Look."

A shot rang out and a body hit the ground with red splatter. Lelouch staggered a few steps, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes. "Y-you k-killed him…!"

"Just wait," Clovis said calmly as if shooting people was an every-day occurrence for him. "Won't be long."

Lelouch shook his head wildly, looking for possible escape routes before realizing that he was basically locked up in a fortress full of his brother's people. He cursed, scolding himself for not picking up that gun when he had the chance.

Just when he was about to make a run for the door, a coughing sound made him pause. Slowly, Lelouch turned his head in that direction, only to freeze. There, in the middle of the floor, his twin brother was wriggling his limbs and trying to catch his breath.

"That's n-not… possible!" He got out, shooting his older brother a wide-eyed look. "You shot him in the head! He shouldn't be able to move!"

Clovis nodded, pleased with himself. "I told you. He's immortal."

Against his better judgment, Lelouch approached the body cautiously. The face of his twin brother was still covered in blood, but the gunshot wound was suspiciously missing.

"Y-you bastard!" L.L. grunted, trying to heave himself to his feet, only to fall again when another shot pierced his skull.

Lelouch whipped his head in Clovis's direction. "What are you-"

"He won't die," the Viceroy said, nudging L.L.'s body with his foot. "And I told you. I can't let him leave or Father will be able to complete his plan."

"Yeah, I wasn't exactly listening to you at this point."

Clovis put a finger to his mouth as in thought. "How about: Father wants to destroy the world as we know it and I'm trying to stop him?"

"I guess I can believe the first part," Lelouch admitted grudgingly, watching his twin start twitching again. "Not sure about the second, though."

"Oh come on!" Clovis whined, looking hurt by the statement. "Why is it so hard to believe that I'm a good guy?"

"You've just shot our brother twice!"

"He's not dead! And besides, he threatened to kill us too."

"...you have a point."

"What are you-" L.L. cracked out, only to be cut off by a third shot.

Silence penetrated the room for a full minute before Clovis finally spoke up. "So? What do you say? Will you help me stop Father from destroying the world?"

"Just to be clear," Lelouch said firmly, crossing his arms. "You want to kill Father, yes?"

"I… suppose?"

Lelouch smiled. "Then we have a deal."

Meanwhile, at Ashford Academy...

C.C. munched on her slice of pizza while Milly showed her a full stack of embarrassing photos of whom C.C. suspected to be Marianne's boy.

After finding her in the boy's room, the blonde quickly deduced that C.C. was some sort of secret girlfriend of her friend and didn't want to listen to any objections.

C.C. tried to put up some fight at first. After all, it wasn't her fault that she suddenly appeared in this Lelouch's room (even though it was an improvement from her previous lodgings). But then this Milly girl offered her some 'girl talk' along with a free pizza, and C.C. decided that there was no harm in playing along for a bit.

Marianne… I wonder if this is your doing?

Somewhere in Pendragon, Anya Alstreim giggled.