It was a day like any other for Hajime Hinata, waking up to the smell of bacon and bacon and eggs. His mom, Carol Hinata, was actually cooking bacon and eggs for her son to gorge on.

"Thanks for these awesome eggs Mom!" said Hajime because he enjoyed them very much, "Now I must leave, school needs me."

His mother did not say anything because she is not important to this story. Hajime arrived at the bus stop with his two good friends, Kazuichi Soda and Makoto Naegi.

"Wow! You almost missed the bus my dude!" Soda said, and he was right! The bus was coming through the street like crazy, and it almost decked Naegi in the face! All three got on the bus, with their usual seats. The bus was filled with plenty of students, including Hifumi, who was manspreading all over his seat.

"I'm so freaking cool…" Hifumi muttered to himself. Hajime did not like Hifumi because he was a fat fuck, Mikan was also fat but good fat because her butt was like two soccer balls super glued together.

When they arrived at school, Hajime noticed Chiaki Nanami opening her locker to grab her books. Hajime was in love with her because she loved games and wasn't like the usual girls who just stayed around the meathead jocks. Today, she was wearing a maroon skirt and a gray Odd Future hoodie she got from Zumiez.

"Hey, hey Hajime!" she said to Hajime, "How's it going?"

"Pretty good! I like your hoodie" Hajime said to Chiaki.

"Really? Thanks! I got it half off." Chiaki said back.

While she explained awesome hoodie deal, Hajime was half focused on her boobs excitedly jiggling like Bill Cosby with Jello. While his top half kept composed and cool, his bottom half felt a stiffening sensation. He ignored this for a few seconds, but then his pants started to have a noticeable bump in it. Unsure of his new situation, he crossed his legs to cover it up.

"Hajime, what's going on?" Chiaki looked puzzled.

"Uh, nothing! I just uh gotta get to class!" Hajime said.

He ran off with the spirit of a Kenyan olympian to a bathroom stall to hide. He pulled down his pants to reveal a large firm stick coming from between his legs. Needing help with situation he sent his friend Kazuichi a picture and asked him for help in the stall.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what this is about!" said Kazuichi, "This is what I like to call a love stick! It happens all the time when I see Sonia in the halls!"

"Really?" Hajime said back.

Suddenly, Monokuma fell through the roof like my uncle when he fell out of the attic repairing the electricity.

"Bwahh!" Kazuichi exclaimed.

"Alright you chumpy chumpsters, here's what's really going on." Monokuma said, "Don't let that chode tell you how it works, ask your wonderful principal! Monokuma! So, what you have here is called an erection, which is a physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firm, engorged, and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular, and endocrine factors, and is often associated with sexual arousal or sexual attraction, although erections can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle, and direction of an erection varies considerably in humans."

"Oh wow, really?" Hajime said, "I'm glad I understand it now! Now I have to go to my first class."

Hajime pulled his pants up and went off to his first class. Monokuma leaped back into the hole he came out from, disappearing without a trace. Kazuichi just stayed there on the ground, it's what he did.

END OF CHAPTER 1