Hi, thank you all for the well wishes for my little one, the prayers, support and understanding. Just have to keep my fingers crossed that the next trip to the doc brings us some good news. Sometimes we learn the biggest lessons from the littlest people, and patience, strength and hope are the ones relearn daily.

Finally found a moment to update (yass!) Thank you all for the awesome reviews, all the faves and follows :D I'm astounded!

Also, ALL mistakes are mine, and if you find any inconsistencies with what you've read so far, kindly point them out. Still no Beta :P

I hope you enjoy xxx

14

Admiral Braun took the phone away from his ear and stared out of the window. The voice droned on, but he wasn't interested anymore. He left the device on the sill, ended the call, folded his hands behind his back and contemplated his next move. Sky was clear, their path wasn't. He'd lost two men trying to take out Bravo, was prepared to lose a few more. The good thing about this operation was that it went even higher than he did. Use of mercenaries wasn't unheard of, they got in, got the job done, took what they wanted and didn't give a shit as long as the loot was good, the bad thing was, if those higher than him discovered that he'd been using the same for his own benefit…well, he could kiss his freedom goodbye.

A lit cigar rested comfortably between his two fingers, the dragon's tail of smoke swirling gently behind him. These were difficult to procure, but he liked rare things. Which was why he didn't want anyone interfering in his business. Retirement was knocking, and he wanted full control of this situation before he stepped down.

That damned Tier One team had gone dark and his people could not pilfer the details without throwing his name around. The way things had gone down, he didn't want to have anything linking him to Bravo. Whatever Spenser had found was superficial, but given a chance, one wrong stroke of a keyboard would undo all his life's work. All he knew was that there was one down among the team, how seriously, he hadn't a clue. What he did know for certain, was that someone had been digging, more so after the mission they'd tried to sabotage. That someone had also managed to stonewall their own efforts at every turn. He could lay low, but that wouldn't solve his problem. He paid good money to make sure their organization worked without a hitch, until Joshua. A few years ago Elijah had done the same thing, he'd gone and drawn attention to them. They'd almost gotten caught then too, but at the last minute he'd managed to pull strings, call in favors and use the dirtiest tricks he could to get things tidied up.

His moron of a son had gone on to command his own team, somehow, slipped up again, and then he'd had to call his clean up crew to settle the dust. Moron was Captain now, after the trail ended with a bunch of redacted files only a select few had access to, and those select few were intelligent enough not to question his motives. Commander Blackburn was a tricky one. Bravo ran under him, he could make the call, lure them out, but if that kid had already alerted them to Joshua, then there was no telling where this would end. Well, in death, but he wasn't planning to die anytime soon. Keeping his idiot grandson in the clear was the biggest mistake he'd made. Should have let the bastard go down for this. But everything was already in motion now, and he was paying a damned fortune to stop the crash before he burned with it. He picked up the phone, dialed a number he used very seldom and arranged to meet. It was risky, but it had to be done. And it had to be done now.

Eric was late. He'd call when he could make it, if he couldn't, was probably something important. It was going midnight when Jason checked his watch, cleared the empty bottles and boxes from the kitchen, tossed them and the paper plates in the garbage. They were sitting ducks until their Commander got there. He needed to get Clay to bed or he was gonna feel that couch later. Remembered he was due for meds, went to grab the bag, found it gone.

Trent had already beat him to it, he had everything on the coffee table, ready to wake the kid. Jason was about to stop him, go do it himself. Decided at the last minute to stand down, see what happened, see how Clay took it…They were all trained in first aid, Trent had a better grasp of it though, a clearer head, more experience, less fear, and he'd handled Clay before, would be the one they looked to now if the kid needed help. Only thing concerned him was whether Clay would allow him to.

Trent wasn't gentle by any means, but they were all familiar with his touch, his voice, and even when they were half out of their minds in pain and confusion, he had a way of grounding them. Jason looked behind him to find Sonny and Brock, they did as he did and wondered about the same before cutting Trent some slack and heading off towards Mikey's room with their stuff, a chew toy for Cerb that Brock had fetched from the car. Their canine brother had the room to himself right now, they'd kept him from hopping up and disturbing Clay. He loved the kid as much as he did Brock and would have been all over him trying to offer comfort. Usually they would let him stay, but Clay was already running on fumes when he got there and had passed out immediately, so they did want him disturbed. They'd even kept their own voices down, even though he would have probably slept through an earthquake about then. Ray hung back with him, shoulder to shoulder, watching as Trent brushed his hand through Clay's hair, felt for the bump on his head, brought his palm to the kid's forehead, then shoulder, and slowly brought him out of sleep.

"Clay?"

"Hmm…"

"Need you awake, buddy. Gotta check you over."

"Tr'nt?"

"Yeah, it's me."

Clay blinked, couldn't quite keep his eyes open. "Gett'n up." He forced himself into awareness, "Time is it?"

"Little after midnight. Can you sit up?"

Clay didn't answer. Just pulled himself up gingerly and leaned against the back of the couch, feet on the floor. Let his eyes drift across the empty room.

"How's the head?"

"Tender, not hurtn' like before." He rubbed both eyes with the heels of his hand, yawned, hunched over from the action.

Trent waited for him to settle, unbuttoned his shirt, undid the wrap. Poked and prodded, Clay hissed, jerked away, didn't say anything. He was purple, blue green and yellow from shoulder to belly button, some splotches angrier than the others, but a spectacular coloring book nonetheless. His spilt lip was healing, bruises under both eyes, scratches on his face, they were all superficial. The stiches at the side of his head was ok, the small swatch of missing hair starting to grow in slowly. Lump on top had gone down some, head should feel better in a few days. He would be hurting, the meds having worn out by now, but Clay didn't say it so Trent had to ask.

"Pain?" Trent left the wrap on the table behind him. Would help to breathe easier without it, though it might make the ribs feel worse. He told him so.

Clay scratched at his beard.

"S'ok." He coughed, covered said ribs with an arm. It looked agonizing. Trent bit back a wince on his behalf, knew he was lying, didn't call him on it.

"Think you can manage somethin' to eat?"

"Not hungry. Just wanna go back to sleep."

Oh…kay. Trent couldn't tell if he was cranky from everything he'd been through or just unwilling to take anything from him. Decided to test his theory. "You have pills to help with pain, should take 'em." Trent told him.

"Don't need 'em." Clay closed his eyes. Coughed, grimaced.

So…he wasn't going to make this easy. "Need to take deep breaths, cough will ease up some." Trent patted his knee, felt him flinch, hated that he'd caused him to. Clay slid his eyes open, stared at him quietly, made Trent want to squirm, but then he nodded, did as he asked, breathed in as best as he could, coughed. Rolled his eyes.

"That helps…thanks. I feel better already." Kid was hurting, putting on a tough front, building walls again. Trent could see them coming up brick by brick.

He sighed, moved back to the table, caught Jason's eye over the couch, saw Ray frowning, probably wondering how his own interaction with Cay would go. 'Welcome to the club', he thought childishly.

"Where is everyone?"

The medic looked down sharply, wasn't expecting to be addressed by the kid.

Clay raised a swollen brow, waited for an answer.

"Sonny and Brock went to wind down, see to Cerb, Jason and Ray are around."

"Blackburn?"

"Not here yet. Was a delay."

"He still coming?"

Trent nodded. "When he's done. Will be late."

"Good. Need to talk to him 'fore I conk out again. Thanks for the check." Clay decided he was done making small talk with Trent and pushed to the front of the couch, arm across his middle. "Bathroom." He said, before the medic asked. Trent half stood, hesitated, watched Clay tried to pull himself upright. Kid was stubborn as heck.

"Hey." Jason came in, putting Trent out of his misery and helping Clay stand.

"Easy."

Ray followed into the room at a slower pace.

"How you feeling, Spense?" Ray asked.

"I'm good."

"Sure look like it." The 2IC took the single seat across from the couch. Clay ignored him, looked up at Jason, eyes pleading for escape. Jase conceded, let him lead.

"I don't care what, but you're eating something, taking those meds and getting your skinny ass to bed soon as you're done." His tone brooked no argument.

Clay being Clay, nodded, grit his teeth, pushed his luck. "I'm also taking that shower."

"I'll make you a deal." Jase told him. "Eat, take your meds, and after, I'll let you grab a quick one." Clay huffed, agreed. He knew which battles to fight with his Boss.

Jason could feel the slight tremble in his frame, didn't call him on it. He let him in the bathroom, left him to it, waited outside the door. Thought about how awkward this whole mess was, wished everything hadn't gone down like it had, paced. He felt bad for the guys, felt bad for Clay, didn't know what was gonna play out, how…decided to wait and see.

Trent was in the kitchen when they got there a few minutes later. Clay tensed, Jason felt it ripple trough him, didn't know what to say to the kid to get him to listen to his sorry brothers. Clay could take the space they gave him and turn it into another place to hide. With his history, it would be easy to hear the words and forgo their true meaning. His brothers had made a mistake, but Clay was still fortifying his fortress, keeping them out. Didn't have to look too deep to know Clay thought he was the enemy, that he was protecting them from himself. Jason cursed Ash Spenser for ever making the kid feel he wasn't worth it, and for his team for setting him back two steps by reinforcing his mindset with distrust.

While Jason pulled out a chair, made him sit, Trent placed two slices of warmed pizza on a paper plate on front of Clay, the custard next to it, spoon on top. Didn't ask him to pick, or to eat. Quietly left his pills on the side, a glass of water and a half glass of milk next to it. He knelt down without a word, waited for Clay to see what he was doing, to allow him to, before placing an ice pack on his ribs and pulling his shirt over it. Stood up, turned to Jason. "He takes that shower make sure the water ain't too hot. Won't do no good he passes out in there. Be on the couch you need me."

"Trent?" Clay swallowed, coughed, sighed tiredly, shifted the ice pack with one hand, held his head with the other. "Sorry for being an ass to you. Thanks."

Trent and Jason passed a look between them, Jason squeezed the back of Clay's neck in encouragement. "I'll make up your bed in the meantime, you finish up here."

Finish up…talking to Trent, eating, whatever he had to do.

"I'm the one who's sorry." Trent started gruffly. "Don't you dare apologize to me." He told him, sitting down on the chair across even before Jason was gone. "I shouldn't have read your messages in the first place. Shouldn't have went to Ray with it, shoulda come to you instead of jumping to conclusions." He wiped his mouth, looked him in the eyes. Doing feelings wasn't easy for them, but he needed to be honest if he wanted Clay to believe he truly meant it. He pinched at the edge of the table cloth, rolled a loose thread over his forefinger, tugged.

"I'm sorry Clay, for how I made you feel. We're brothers, care for each other, would die for each other, but I know you a year, knew Emma a few. Didn't know what to make of what I saw. I know you can take care of yourself, but she's a kid. I…misunderstood, got angry, made you feel like hell, and I hate that you won't accept my help because of it, that you won't ask for it when you need it."

Could have been the light, could have been hunger, maybe even the headache that he was trying to hide, but Clay felt his eyes burn. Shaking his head, Clay dropped it in his hands, emotion bubbling up inside of him, making it difficult to face his brother. "I painted a nice big bullseye on all of you, you weren't wrong to not trust me. Trouble follows me Trent, and now it's gonna get you all killed."

"That's not true." The medic argued. "You almost died trying to make sure we had a chance to get out. How could we not trust that?"

"Wouldn't have had a reason to misjudge if there wasn't something you already judged. I am my father's son, Trent. Gonna take you all out with me yall get to close. Best keep it as is, do your job, let me do mine. I'll ask for help I need it. Promise."

Trent cursed himself inwardly for thinking like that before. The Ash Spenser genes were limited to hair color and height, otherwise the two weren't alike at all. Kid already resigned himself to die alone, Ash, the coward, would have been the only one left alive.

"Nuh uh, not happening. We're a team, in it together. What happened, what could, that ain't on you. It's on them, the one's tryna hide whatever it is they think you uncovered. You were doing the right thing, and we'll be standing right behind you no matter what."

Clay didn't respond. Guilt was a thing like that. No matter how much you tried to assuage it, there was always one more thing to feel guilty for.

"Kid? We'd do anything for you, don't ever doubt that." Trent stood, went around the table and crouched in front of him. Made sure he had Clay's attention. "You may be Ash Spenser's son, but you're nothing like him. What you did just now...when you realized what you were doing and put a stop to it? That's what we all should have done. Not sayin' you're an ass, I deserved it, but you tried to make it right with me immediately, and that's a lesson I won't forget." Trent reached for his arm, squeezed gently, "Thank you brother."

Clay, not trusting himself to speak, cleared his throat, nodded, and reached for the pizza. He took a small bite, chewed, thought about what Trent said, wondered if he hadn't over reacted about the whole thing…was he even allowed to feel that way when they were right?

He was at fault, he didn't doubt it, hadn't gone to them because he couldn't betray Emma, didn't help that Jase was in the loop. But Trent was wrong, he hadn't tried to fix anything with his brothers when he knew they were mad. He'd been holding onto the hope that they would understand that whatever he was dealing with, he could handle it, that he was a decent enough human being to not abuse Jason's daughter, that he'd had a valid reason…but when had hope ever been his friend? They'd done like everyone had in the past, put him in a box labeled 'dysfunctional, broken, not to be trusted', and it'd hurt just like it always did. It friggn' hurt. Even though he blamed himself, it still. Friggn'. Hurt. Dammit!

He missed Brian so badly right now. Wondered if he would have done the same had he seen what the guys did…thought maybe he'd have sided with him, knowing him longer than Emma, or maybe he'd have screwed up some by now like he'd done with Stella, and maybe Brian would have also assumed he was talking advantage of a young girl because he couldn't do anything right...

This was too raw, too fresh, and he couldn't pretend otherwise. It had shaken him, his belief, his worth. He faced his flaws daily when he looked in the mirror. Couldn't stand to see them reflected in his brothers' eyes too.

The pizza might as well have been cardboard, was hard to swallow. Even after Trent passed him the milk. He gave up halfway, took his custard and ate it instead, grateful that Jason had thought to bring it with.

Trent didn't interrupt his thoughts, didn't force interaction or more talking, let him finish, handed him his pills, water. Texted Lisa to bring more jello, some yoghurt, custard when she got here.

After a long while, he asked, "How's the nausea?"

"Holding."

"Us?" Trent hedged, cautious, uncertain, hopeful.

"We're good." He breathed. "Blackburn's late."

"You can see him in the morning, Clay."

Clay was stiff and achy, needed that bed like twenty minutes ago, needed that shower yesterday. His chest was tight, had a niggling cough that kept jarring his ribs and rattling his head. The couch hadn't helped that, nor his back. That hurt too. He felt wrung out, so exhausted from doing nothing but sleep. Needed his head clear, in the game. Needed to call Emma, make sure she was alright. Needed so many damned things…He dropped his head on his folded hand and closed his eyes. Right now, he needed a minute.

Trent had watched the flicker of emotions pass across his face, saw the hurt in his eyes as he tried to piece together these last few weeks, as he tried to figure out where he still fit between them, and he felt all the more horrible for it. They'd taken a SEAL, a trained operative, one of the best snipers alive, a brother, and turned him from self assured, sarcastic and fearless to a man about to reach his breaking point. Kid was still blaming himself for their behavior, and that was a no go zone.

He needed to speak to his brothers. The faster they got to Clay, the faster he'd have to accept that they weren't going anywhere, that they were there for him, would always be until they breathed their last. It would take some work to build the bridges they almost burned, but they'd do it. He saw his brother cough, winced with him, waited for him to say something, but the kid leaned over his arm on the table and closed his eyes. At least the cough was still dry. He'd start panicking if it wasn't. Clay held himself tensely even though his position looked relaxed. The meds were yet to work, and this was an even worse place to fall asleep than the couch. He checked his text, one having come through.

'Eric will be here in 5. Clay up for it?'

It was from Ray.

'Not a chance. It'll have to keep.'

'He alright?'

'Will be. Sleepy.'

A thumbs up emoji followed and Trent tucked the phone away.

"It's bedtime for you, bud." He tapped lightly on Clay's cheek, got the expected 'hmm', kid opened the one eye that wasn't squished and mumbled to himself.

"You can shower in the morning. Stink for a night, who cares." Trent chuckled when he complained and said as much. Jason pitched up in time to see the medic holding Clay, arm around his waist, ice pack between his fingers, about to walk him to bed.

"I got you, brother." Trent supported Clay easily, kid had his eyes half opened, waved lazily at Jase.

"I know Tr'nt." Clay assured him, made Trent smile, the reaction spoke volumes to Jason. It was a huge step, but it was in the right direction.

He mouthed, 'Emma's room', and waited for them to pass, feeling a sense of relief that the two had managed to talk, that Clay was allowing Trent to handle him.

"You knew..." Clay accused, bit back a cough while turning over his shoulder to glare at Jason, making him chuckle.

"Yeah, I knew you wouldn't last, surprised you made it this long. Shower will still be there when you wake up." He moved Clay's hair off his forehead, was pleased to note he wasn't running a fever 'cos that cough needed to go. "Need some help getting the baby to bed, Trent?"

Clay huffed, stuck his tongue out at Jason, then snorted, a hint of mischief in his smirk, "Night dad."

Jase, caught off guard at the feeling those words brought in him, but gaining traction quickly returned with, 'night kiddo'.

Trent laughed out loud at the suckered look on his boss's face, and feeling a whole lot lighter, he helped his little brother to bed as Jason went to let heir Commander in.

Hope you liked it xxx Next update in a day or two :) Thanks for reading :D