I'm an idiot.
It was early afternoon, but Sanosuke was already half-drunk and just getting started. An open bottle of sake rested next to his right hand, which was still wrapped in bandages, healing from the fight in Kyoto weeks before.
An idiot. I could just go talk to her. Not like it's that hard. Happens all the time. What's stopping me?
He scowled, lifting the cup to his lips and downing its contents in one gulp.
Knowing that I'll say the wrong thing, I'll insult her, she'll insult me, and she doesn't give a damn about me anyhow, that's what.
He reached blindly for the sake bottle, glaring into the wooden table in front of him hard enough to set fire to it.
Or I could just forget about her. Not like she's so special. Just another girl, right? What's another girl? They're all damned foxes anyway. Who needs 'em?
His eyes narrowed even further as he filled his cup nearly to overflowing.
Just 'cause she's the prettiest lady I've ever seen, and smart, and brave, and she's got those bright eyes...yeah, eyes that flash every time she scowls at me. And let's not forget the feisty temper or the tongue that's sharp enough to cut a guy in half. Can't forget those.
He swallowed another cup of sake.
Just 'cause I can't think whenever she smiles at me, no reason for
me to be awake all night thinkin' about her, right?
Right. So what am I doin' here, getting shitfaced off my ass for the
god-knows-what day in a row 'cause I can't get to sleep unless I'm
drunk?
Sanosuke folded his arms on the table and resting his head on them, staring off into space. He sighed, a breath of sound that was almost- but not quite- a name. One that he never dared to say aloud.
Megumi.
He couldn't do anything right by her, not a thing. From the first day they'd met he'd been screwing up. And now...what were they now? Friends? Not likely. Oh, they could exchange small talk, or tease, talk like ordinary people once in a while. She could smile at him or give him a glare to freeze him in his tracks, and he never knew which was coming.
Not that it ever deterred him. He still sought her out, drawn like a moth to a flame...flirting with her more openly than he would with even the most low-class prostitute, as though doing so would make her something less than the unattainable upper class lady she was...
Faint hope. More than faint: impossible. She was a lady in truth, of good breeding and background. Intelligent and sophisticated. And beautiful-- she might be a few years past the standard age for marriage, but there was no doubt that she was still a worthy match for anyone. Certainly an attractive match.
And he was street trash. There was no getting around that fact.
What in the hell am I thinking, treatin' her the way I do? Why does she let me get away with it?
That was the thing he couldn't figure out. Megumi had a temper; that was undeniable. She'd match him insult for insult when they really got going, always playing the superior upper class lady to his lower class lout. But she let his flirtation go by without a word, never once upbraiding him for being so presumptuous. Not once. Any other woman would have boxed his ears, even the most patient. And Megumi never said a word about it. Occassionally she would respond in kind, but mostly she just ignored his quips entirely.
Probably just being polite. Not deigning to recognize comments
like that from a punk like me. They're not worthy of her attention.
And neither am I.
Sano winced inwardly. The thought was painful. More so for it's being true.
I treated her like shit when we first met. I was so angry about
Yoita's death...I just wanted someone to lash out at. It wasn't
fair to her. Yeah, she made the opium, but it's not like she had
much of a choice. And it's not like she rammed it down Yoita's
throat, either. He should have known better than to mess with that
junk.
I treated her like shit, and never so much as apologized for it.
She was about to kill herself, and even then I couldn't say I was
sorry for how I'd acted. All I could do was yell at her for wanting
to die, like I've never wanted that either.
Something bit at the very back of his throat. In someone else it might have been tears, but Sagara Sanosuke hadn't cried since he was eight and he had no intention of starting again now. He lifted the cup back up to his mouth, let alcohol burn down his throat.
How'd I end up here, anyway? It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Sagara-taichou was supposed to live. We were supposed to be heroes.
He snorted. Heroes. Right. But I'm just a lousy ex-gangster, and
everyone else is dead.
Sagara-taichou...are you watching me, wherever you are? Someplace
good, I know. Did I really see you the night I learned the Futai no
Kiwami? Or was I dreaming?
Are you as disappointed in me as I am in myself?
"Hey."
Sano looked up, wincing as he stared directly into a light. A shadow moved in front of his face, blocking the glare. Sano's vision cleared after a moment, though it was still a little fuzzy around the edges from the alcohol. He didn't recognize the guy towering over him.
"Hear you're tough."
Sano snorted and looked away. Another bullheaded asshole wanted to challenge him. Back in the days when he was Zanza, he'd looked forward to fights like this. Lately they bored him. Today, especially, he wasn't in the mood.
A huge hand reached down and squeezed his shoulder. "Don't ignore me, punk. I hear you got a pretty high opinion of those fists of yours."
Sano didn't flinch. "I'm busy. Go away."
Another hand grabbed his other shoulder, pulled him forcibly to his feet. Sano scowled into a face that scowled right back.
"I told you not to ignore me, punk."
Sano clenched a fist. His right one. The bandages crumpled in his palm, and he ignored the twinge of pain that said he was about to do something stupid. "I told you to go away, bastard."
The face moved closer, eyes boring into his, hot and angry. Sano could see his own face reflected, could see the sparks glaring in his own eyes as the man snarled, "Make me."
Sano shrugged and slugged his opponent in the face.
The resulting brawl lasted for a good half an hour and ended with several broken tables, a furious innkeeper, a couple of unconscious guys sprawled out on the floor, and Sano walking down the road away from the inn with a raging headache.
Damn. All that adrenaline sweated the alcohol out of my system. What a waste.
His right hand throbbed, swelling against the bandages. Sano flinched.
Shit, that hurts. I should've left it alone.
But now I've got an excuse to see the fox doctor...
He turned in the direction of the clinic, his bad mood slowly fading. The fight had relieved a lot of tension in addition to killing the effects of the alcohol. And now he could go see Megumi. Maybe they'd fight and maybe not, maybe he'd tease her and she'd be silent...either way he'd see her and feel the electricity between them, and that'd be enough for now. At least, until he'd try to go to sleep later and be unable to for thinking about her.
I'll kick myself for it later...but it'll be good while it lasts. Maybe I'm kidding myself, but what the hell. You only live once.
In no time he was there, entering the clinic. The front door was open. "Anyone here?" Sano called.
"Just a moment," a man's voice answered. Doctor Genzai walked around a corner. His eyes lit up when he saw Sanosuke. "Ah, Sagara-san! It's good to see you. Are you here to get your hand checked?"
"Yup," Sano answered ruefully, shaking his fingers. "'It's gotten a little too much action lately."
The elderly doctor shook his head as though disappointed, but his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "Megumi-san will be furious with you. You know how she worries."
She does? That was a heartening thought. "Is she here?"
"In the back room. She was intending to take a nap, but I'm sure she's still awake. I only just finished talking with her."
"Thanks." He waved and walked down the hallway. The door to the back room was open; Megumi was inside, staring off into space. Sano lingered for a minute watching her before getting her attention by saying loudly, "Yo, fox-lady!"
She looked up, startled. Her eyebrow raised when she saw who was waiting. "What do you want, rooster?"
Sano grinned and began counting things off on his fingers. "Money, alcohol, a couple of pretty girls to sit on my knee..."
He eyed her up and down obviously; she ignored the insinuation and rushed forward, reaching for his hand. "Sanosuke, you idiot! I specifically told you not to get into any more fights! Weren't you listening?"
Sano shrugged, her frustrated expression causing him to feel a little ashamed of himself. "It's not like I go looking for them, Fox. They just find me."
"More likely you were drinking again, and managed to insult someone."
Damn, Sano thought. I'm getting predictable.
Megumi pointed at a chair. "Sit!"
"Hai, hai..." He let her guide him to a chair and sat quietly as she began to prod his fingers.
"I should put your entire arm in a splint," she muttered. "Maybe then you'd remember not to use this. It's taking much longer to heal than it should; you aggravate it every day."
"I do a lot of stuff with my hands, Fox," Sano defended. "It's hard to take it easy." Especially when stupid wannabe brawlers are provoking me right and left!
"I will put you in a splint if you keep it up," she retorted. "Better yet, a cage. Maybe that would keep you out of trouble."
"Hmm, locked up in a cage by the onna-sensei. Sounds like fun."
She snorted, ignoring him and turning all of her attention to his hand. Sano's teasing mood faded away as he stared at her. A sweep of hair was blocking his view of her face, but the hair itself was enough to fascinate--long and blue-black, shimmering in the light of the afternoon sun. He wondered what it might feel like to touch. Her fingers had paused, resting just next to a long, narrow scar on his palm. She reached up an absent hand to pull her hair behind her ear, and Sano was startled by her expression; it looked a lot like grief. "Hey, Fox, you all right?" he asked quietly, concerned.
Megumi snapped back into reality. "It's nothing."
Nothing, huh. Then why'd you jump like that?
But there was nothing else he could ask, nothing to say, even if it was obvious that she'd been troubled by something. He'd never been good with words. All he could do was sit and wait--and wonder--as she finished her examination and rebandaged his hand.
"Done," she said, tying the cloth into a knot on the back of his wrist. "Be sure you take care of it this time."
"Careful, Fox. You're gonna make me think you're worried." That was weak as quips went, but anything to take the sad look out of her eyes would do.
She tossed her head, once more the Megumi he was used to. "Don't be ridiculous. It's just that I have better things to do with my time than nurse a stupid street punk who doesn't know better than to stay out of trouble."
Ouch. "Yare yare," Sano said, covering his hurt with indifference. "What does it take for a man to get respect around here?"
"For starters, you could take a bath. You smell like a tavern."
"A bath, huh." He leered at her. "You wanna join me?"
She scowled. "Go away, rooster-head. I have other things to do."
Megumi pointed towards the door; he shrugged and headed towards it. Just as he was about to wave a hand in farewell and pass through, her voice arrested him. "Do be careful, Sanosuke. I mean it. If you abuse that hand too much, the bones will never recover."
He turned. Her face was serious; she'd dropped the professional doctor mask and just looked tired. Not something he saw often. "I will," he promised, meaning it. "See you later, Fox."
He couldn't help winking as he shut the door on her exasperated expression, knowing how the nickname annoyed her.
But as he turned from the building, the smile slowly faded from his countenance. He'd lifted her spirits...but for how long? She'd seemed all right when he'd first walked in, if tired. And she'd teased him lightly enough. But it was all too easy to recall the grieved expression that had appeared in her dark eyes, the undercurrent of pain in her voice.
What's bothering her?
Her sudden change of mood troubled him. He couldn't make sense of it.
I don't think it was anything I said. But it must have been me, somehow. She was just staring at my hand. Not examining, just staring. She can't be that worried about it. So, what?
Sano lifted his right hand and looked at it, curious.
Pretty ordinary hand for the most part. Aside from all the half-healed bones. And the fact that I can use the Futae no Kiwami with it. What was she thinking about?
He flexed his fingers, trying to see through the bandages and
remembering the way her slender fingers had pressed his skin...the
way they'd lingered in a particular spot. The scar, he
realized. The one I got from catching the knife she was trying
to kill herself with. That's what she was looking at. But why
would it upset her?
Geez, I really am a jerk. Of course it'd depress her. It's a memory
of one of the worst times of her life. And I wasn't doing much to
help at the time, just shouting at her. Thought my heart would stop
that time, when I opened the door and saw her with that knife over
her head. Someday I'm going to track down Shinomori and beat him up
good for giving it to her. Geez, Megumi...
He saw the irony in the question was immediately. Sure she will.
As soon as I forget about the Sekihoutai, and Kenshin forgets about
the Battousai, or Shinomori forgets the Oniwabanshuu. Some things
never let you go.
Wish I could talk to her about that. I don't think she ever heard
about how I met Kenshin. I wonder what she'd think.
The idea was so interesting that he wanted to turn right around and head back to the clinic to see her again. It took a lot of effort to force himself to wait until the sun was setting. But as soon as it was low in the sky and he could be reasonably certain that she wouldn't still be napping, back to the clinic he went.
Can't look too eager. Just gotta be nonchalant. Right.
She made it easy for him. She was standing in the door of the clinic, watching the sun set. Sanosuke grinned. "Looking for me, Fox?"
Megumi jumped; inwardly he was amused at having startled her for the second time that day. She covered up her surprise quickly, though. "Stupid rooster! You nearly scared me half to death! What are you doing around here anyway?"
Inspiration gave him an idea. "Just on my way to the dojo to see Kenshin and Jou-chan. Want to come?" Good idea. She doesn't manage to get over there often, and I'd have her all to myself for the walk.
She looked regretful, and shook her head. "I'd like to, but I have to stay here to watch the clinic. Please give them my regards."
Damn.
Megumi's expression had turned thoughtful. "Sano, would you be willing to do me a favor?"
Sano was surprised, and waited to hear what she wanted. She continued: "I haven't eaten since breakfast. Would you ask Kaoru if I could borrow some rice? I'll repay her later in the week by cooking, if she likes."
Good thought! "What'll you give me?" he asked, not showing how much he liked the idea of sneaking in on a dinner made by Megumi.
She arched an eyebrow at him. Sano couldn't help smiling; she usually meant the gesture to be cowing, but more often than not it encouraged him. "I won't remind you of how much you'd owe us in doctor's bills if I actually charged you for all the times I've examined your hand."
"Okay, okay. Just promise that you'll invite me when you cook; you're a hell of a lot better at it than Jou-chan."
Megumi smiled wryly at the left-handed compliment; it wasn't hard to be a better cook than Kaoru. "If Kaoru and Ken-san don't mind, I won't. Thank you very much, Sanosuke. I'm sorry to inconvenience you."
"No trouble at all. I'll be back soon to give it to you."
"I'll be here." Her voice sounded exasperated; that was encouraging, too. If she was bored, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to convince her to talk with him--just talk--for a while. Sano flashed her one last grin before sticking his hands in his pockets and going whistling towards the dojo.
This day is definitely looking up.
It was a short walk to the dojo; the sun had only barely set when he arrived. The lights were still on, and Sano could hear lots of activity in the house. In fact, it sounded like...
Genzai-sensei's granddaughters? Isn't it a bit late for them to be here?
Sano walked around to the yard in the back; sure enough, Kenshin was sitting on the lawn with the two young girls. Kaoru was watching from the porch. Yahiko was standing off to the side practicing swinging his shinai and grimacing; probably he'd done something to annoy Kaoru. Her idea of getting even was doubling the number of exercies she made her students do.
Sano swung open the gate and joined them all in the yard. "Yo."
Kenshin looked up and smiled. "Good evening, Sanosuke."
"Rooster! Rooster!"
Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan ran forward, each of them grabbing one of Sano's legs and laughing. Sano tousled their hair. "Hey kids. What are these two monkeys still doing here, Kenshin?"
Kenshin smiled. "I promised that they could stay up late and look for fireflies; it's the right time of year for them."
"What brings you by, Sano?" Kaoru was holding a dishtowel, and her hands were covered with soap. "We've already eaten dinner, so no free food for you."
"Che. You're so stingy." Kaoru stuck out her tongue, and he grinned at her. "How 'bout letting me get something to go?"
"Why don't you get a regular job?" she retorted. "Then you wouldn't have to come here looking for handouts all the time."
That stung, even though it was a complaint she made often. A job. Right. Doing what? Only thing I know about is brawling. Nobody's gonna pay me for that. No need to think 'bout that now, though. I've gotta get back to Megumi. "S'not for me," he said quickly. "The fox is having a rough night at the clinic. I said I'd try to bring her something."
"Oh!" Kaoru's face looked anxious. "Was there another fire? Is everything--"
"She's fine," he interrupted. "Just wants to be there in case she's needed."
Kaoru let out a sigh of relief. "That's good. I'll get some things together for you to take to her." She went back to the kitchen; Sano could hear the sounds of flurried activity as the girl searched for a container and food that wouldn't need to be cooked or prepared. There was a particularly loud crash that made him wince; the girl was truly hopeless in a kitchen. She better marry Kenshin. He can do the cooking and watch over the kids while she earns the money. They'd both be happier that way. Talk about matches made in heaven...
"I'll walk with you, Sano," Kenshin said. "I should take Genzai-sensei's granddaughters home anyway; it's long past their bedtime."
For a brief instant, Sanosuke was annoyed. But there was no polite way to turn down the offer- at least, not without saying more than he wanted to say, even to Kenshin- so all he could do was shrug and respond, "Sure. Company's good."
Ayame-chan tugged on Kenshin's hakama. "Ken-niiiiiii...don' wanna go home!"
Kaoru walked out of the kitchen holding a large basket. No sooner had she set foot through the door than Suzume-chan wrapped herself around the young woman's leg. "No!" she cried, echoing her sister.
Kenshin bent down on one knee, smiling at the older of the two girls. Ayame-chan pouted back at him; it was hard to tell if she was about to throw a tantrum, or was just teasing. "We can try again tomorrow night, Ayame-chan. The fireflies will be back as soon as the sun sets."
Ayame-chan looked dubious. "Promise?"
Kenshin nodded seriously. "Hai, I promise."
Ayame-chan smiled. "Okay, but you have to give me a piggy-back."
"Pig! Pig!" Suzume-chan echoed sleepily.
Kaoru laughed and pried the younger girl off of her leg, picking her up. "You need sleep, little one. You'd better go, Kenshin. It's late. And Sano, will you please give this to Megumi-san?"
"Sure. Thanks, Jou-chan. She'll appreciate it." Sano looped the basket over one arm and took Suzume-chan out of Kaoru's arms with the other. "I'll take this mischief-maker if you'll grab the other one, Kenshin."
In answer, Kenshin lifted a squealingly happy Ayame and placed her on his shoulders. "You're sure you're not going to be frightened up there?" he asked, feigning worry.
Ayame shook her head. "I'm not afraid of anything!"
"Are you sure?" Kenshin's voice sounded doubtful, but he was still smiling. He did that a lot. "Maybe I'd better let you walk..."
"No! No! Let's go home, Ken-nii! Run!"
Kaoru laughed softly, shaking her head. "Good night Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan, Sanosuke. I'll see you tomorrow."
"'Yas'mi," Suzume mumbled, her face buried against Sano's shirt. The gangster grinned down at the girl. Mischief-makers...but they are cute. Was my sister as much trouble as these two? I can't remember.
Memories threatened to overwhelm him for a second; he shook them off. "Later, Jou-chan. Try not to beat up Yahiko too much."
"Ooooooohh...Sano!!!"
Sano fled before she could thwap him on the head, walking as smoothly as he could to avoid waking up the sleeping child in his arms.
The walk to Genzai-sensei's house was short and quiet. Kenshin told Ayame-chan to keep her voice low, so as not to wake up her sister, or else she'd have to walk instead of being carried. Aside from a few stray giggles, the girl obeyed. Before long they had dropped the girls off and were walking the longer route towards the clinic in companionable silence.
Sano scratched at his nose; it itched. Part of his mind wondered what that unusual smell in the air was, but most of his thoughts were busy elsewhere and he didn't think too closely about it.
"There's something in the air tonight that I don't like," Kenshin said suddenly, looking up at the sky and frowning.
The former rurouni's eyes widened just as Sano's nose realized what it was smelling: smoke. "Kenshin, do you--"
"Fire!"
Kenshin and Sano both turned towards the shouts, their suspicions confirmed. Smoke was rising up into the sky behind them, lit up from below with flickering red light. Both men started running towards it. The shouts grew louder in intensity as they approached. With a sickening feeling of dread in his stomach, Sano realized that they were heading straight towards the Akabeko.
Shit! If the inn's on fire, there might be people trapped inside!
Sure enough, they arrived to find the Akabeko in flames. A squad of men with buckets of water was trying to douse the blaze, but having little effect; the fire was too far spread. A few customers were struggling to get out of the door. Some of the braver townspeople were helping them, but very few dared to venture inside the building.
Kenshin and Sano both ran inside without hesitation. The first floor--the dining area--was still more or less intact, but it wouldn't stay that way for long. There was a man sitting against a wall, clutching his leg and looking pertified. Knowing that Kenshin would see to him, Sano ignored his own better judgement and raced up the stairs to make sure no one was caught on the second floor. He couldn't see anyone in the main hallway, and darted in and out of the rooms, calling; no one was answered.
"Sano!" Kenshin's voice sounded very worried. "We need to get out of here!"
Sano looked upward and saw that the roof was on the verge of collapsing; the weight of the falling beams might cause the entire building to fall, and then there'd be no chance for anyone left inside. They had to leave now.
He all but leapt back down the stairs. Kenshin was helping the lone man outside. The man was leaning on him heavily. Sano guessed that his leg was injured; he wasn't putting any weight on it. Sano lifted the man's other arm over his shoulder so that less weight would be placed on Kenshin, and the three of them raced back outside into the cool night air.
"Is that everyone?" Kenshin had to shout to be heard over the commotion.
The man balanced between them shook his head and shouted back. "The girl! The little waitress--she's still in there!"
Tsubame-chan! Sano shrugged off the man's arm, helping him to the ground. "I'm going back in!"
A police officer was there immediately, standing between him and the Akabeko. "It's too dangerous! The fire's just about taken out the building; the roof will collapse any minute. We can't risk letting anyone else go in there, it's a deathtrap!"
The policeman looked ready to beat up anyone who questioned his judgement, but Sano wasn't about to be intimidated by anybody. "I'm not gonna just stand here and let a girl burn to death!" he shouted, preparing to push the officer aside.
"Look!" someone behind him shouted. "Someone's going in!"
"Sensei!" That was Tae's voice, and she sounded horrified.
What the hell? Sano looked over the policeman's shoulder to see a familiar figure outlined by heat, running towards the door. Her long dark hair flew out behind her. His eyes widened in recognition. "Megumi! No!" he shouted, shocked and afraid. She was already gone, her form swallowed by the flames. He slammed past the policeman and sprinted towards the building, racing after her.
But someone grabbed his arm, jerking him to a stop. He struggled wildly, his eyes still glued to the burning wreck of the inn. "Let me go! I've gotta go after her!" He tried to wrench his arm free and failed. "Let me go, damn you!"
"Sano, it's too dangerous!"
Sano turned and practically hissed at his closest friend. "How can you say that, Kenshin? You? That's Megumi in there! Let me go dammit!"
Kenshin's face was grieved but determined. His arms remained locked around Sano's--and try as he might, the street brawler couldn't get free. Kenshin might look short and scrawny, but the strength in his arms was considerable. "No."
Sano was screaming now, and he didn't care. "She'll die in there!"
Kenshin didn't even flinch. "Maybe. But you won't die also, chasing after her."
"Don't you get it? I'd rather die than live knowing that I couldn't stop it happening! I already know what that hell's like!"
Kenshin's eyes held his without wavering. "So do I." His grip remained firm. It was no use.
Sano turned back towards the inferno, hope and despair warring inside him. Seconds passed like years. He couldn't tell how much time had gone by since she ran in. Probably not more than a minute, but it seemed like forever. Part of the roof finally caved in, and he flinched, expecting the entire building to go down. Please. But the main floor held. There was still a chance. He'd watched Sagara-taichou die in front of him. He'd stood aside and watched Kenshin fight battle after battle, each time forcing himself not to interfere. But this...Not this. Not Megumi. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. Please!
A form appeared, a shadow darting through the flames. A tall figure carrying someone in their arms.
Sano let out the breath he'd been holding in a gasp. Kenshin released his arm, and the two of them ran forward just in time to catch the two figures as they fell. Kenshin took Tsubame's limp body out of Megumi's hands just as the doctor lost her footing; Sano was there to catch her, lifting her up in his own arms and carrying her away from the flames. When they were far enough away that he couldn't feel the heat bearing down on his back, he knelt down--almost falling himself in exhaustion and spent adrenaline-- and placed her gently on the ground in front of him. She leaned back against his chest. That was a new sensation, one that he would have enjoyed immensely under other circumstances. Her head was bent forward, her breathing hoarse and quick. Every other breath was a cry of pain. Her fingernails were digging into the dirt, clutching at it. He couldn't see any injuries on her, but she sounded hurt. Genzai-sensei appeared out of nowhere and reached for Megumi's feet, rubbing something on them. Sano stared at them; they were red and swollen, the skin scorched away. She wasn't wearing any shoes. She was running on fire. His emotions were tangled, guilt and amazement and anger wound together in a tight, confused ball.
Megumi let out a small gasp, looking up at Genzai-sensei. "Tsubame-chan?" she croaked, coughing.
Sano answered before Genzai-sensei had a chance to respond. "She'll be fine." He didn't know for sure that it was true, but it was about bloody time Megumi paid attention to herself for once. They could worry about Tsubame later.
Megumi craned her head over her shoulder, trying to peer up at him. Only then did Sano realized that he was holding her shoulders tightly, pulling her against him; it was difficult for her to turn her head. "Sanosuke?"
He covered his sudden embarrassment with irritation. "What in the hell possessed you to go in there? And barefoot?"
Her voice was amused, and entirely too pleased with itself. "Couldn't run in those damn shoes."
Genzai-sensei looked up at the young woman with a serious expression. "Well, now you can't run at all, Megumi-chan. These won't be able to support your weight for some time. Excuse me, I want another look at Tsubame-chan. Whatever you do, don't get up. Sagara-kun, please stay here and make sure she doesn't move."
Sano shook his head, his fingers automatically tightening where they gripped her, but the doctor was watching Megumi. She nodded. "I won't. Thank you, Genzai-sensei."
The doctor smiled at her; Sano could see the relief in his expression. He returned to the cluster of people surrounding Tsubame, who was still unconscious. Sano couldn't find it in himself to worry about the girl. All his thoughts were busy with the woman in front of him.
What in the hell did she think she was doing??
Megumi flinched. "Mou. I won't be able to walk for weeks."
Sano wanted to shake her. He cursed under his breath, muttering about idiot women who didn't have enough sense to keep their shoes on and not caring if she heard. She laughed a bit, and he decided he was very tired of not being able to see her face or read her expressions. Glaring at her back was getting him nowhere. He let go of her shoulders and moved so that he was sitting on the ground next to her. That was much better; now he could scowl at her directly. She just smiled back. Why is she so amused, damn it?!
"You still haven't told me what in the hell you think you were doing." He practically spat out the words, inwardly shocked at how furious they sounded. How dare you smile at me now? After that! "You coulda gotten killed in there. It's a miracle you're clothes weren't set on fire, and damned if I know how you managed to run on those feet."
She shrugged, the smile fading. "I had to get her."
Sano couldn't believe it. "Idiot! I was about to head back in there when you pulled that stupid stunt! At least I was wearing shoes!"
Her eyes flashed at him with sudden heat, and she snapped back, "I don't care! I had to, I couldn't just stand by and watch it happen, not again..."
Her voice trailed away; the heat in her eyes was replaced by tears. She turned away, lifting a hand and trying to conceal the water running down her cheeks.
Sano felt his anger melt away, leaving only the profound relief and fear that had lain beneath. He reached forward, wrapping his arms loosely around her. Her shoulders were shaking. Her face was still turned away; he rested his forehead on her hair and closed his eyes, no longer caring who was watching or what she thought. Safe. She still smelled of smoke. "You stupid fox," he said quietly, not even thinking about his words. "How often are you gonna make me worry like this? I tried to stop you, but Kenshin grabbed my arm. Probably bruised it, too. Stupid, stupid, stupid fox...you scared the hell out of me."
He wanted to call back the admission as soon as it was said--he wasn't supposed to show any weakness, not ever, he'd promised himself that years ago. But that promise seemed so unimportant now. Megumi had gradually relaxed in his embrace as she listened to him; at those last words she burst into tears, her hands gripping the sides of his jacket and her face burying itself in his neck. He could feel the wetness on his skin; automatically, his arms tightened around her. Safe. "It's okay, Fox," he said after a few minutes. "Shh." He hadn't comforted anyone like this in years. Not since he was still a boy, living at home with his family... long ago.
Her tears stopped, but she didn't pull away. Her tearstained cheek was cold on his skin, and her shoulders were still shaking. Sano lifted a hand and stroked her hair lightly. Any minute now she'd remember that he was just a street punk and pull away, or the crowds would come to congratulate her, to separate them. Any minute now she'd remember what a jerk he was. He didn't care. Let anyone think anything they wanted. Let her hate him after today. Let her refuse to speak to him ever again; it didn't matter. She's alive. Her hair flowed between his fingers like water. "Megumi," he said quietly, just to be able to say her name and hear her answer.
She let out a little sob of a laugh. Her words were muffled against his chest; he could barely hear them. "I don't think I've ever heard you say my name before. Onna-sensei, opium-woman, fox...you've called me just about everything except Megumi."
"Yeah." She'd noticed, then. It didn't matter now. "Y'know why?"
"No."
He took in a deep breath. "Didn't want anyone to hear the way I say your name."
She looked up at him, confusion etched on her tearstained features. She frowned slightly. "I don't understand."
Carefully, so as not to startle her, he leaned forward, letting his nose brush against her upper jaw. His lips touched just behind her ear. Tendrils of hair tickled his skin. It felt amazing. Never thought I'd have a chance to do this... "Megumi," he whispered, lips against her skin.
A shiver ran through her entire body, then another. She must have heard it...she must have. But she didn't pull away. Why wasn't she pulling away?
"I didn't know," Megumi whispered. "I didn't..."
Her voice trailed away. Sano's heart failed him; he broke apart, pushing himself away from her. Of course she didn't. Of course she wouldn't want... "Why would you? I didn't want you to know," he said, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Not much I didn't. "I'm a stupid street punk, remember?" The words still hurt, even if they were true. "And you...you're sophisticated, intelligent, so beautiful I can barely stand t'look at you..." What in the hell did I think I was doing? "Why in the hell do you ever waste your breath on an asshole like me?" he finished helplessly, clenching his fists and staring at them.
His fists. He'd been relying on them for years, using them to punch his way through any conflict. It was so much easier when you had something tangible in front of you to hit.
Something touched him. He blinked, and realized that Megumi's fingers were brushing over one of his closed hands, gently prying it open. Once he realized, he unclenched his fist, staring down at her hand on his. One slim finger brushed over the bandages covering his skin.
"You caught a knife in your hands for me."
It took a second for him to realize what she meant, to remember that under the spot where her finger was resting was a small scar. The same one that had troubled her earlier that day.
"Even though you had every reason to hate me, you did that."
He shook his head immediately. "I never hated you." Not your fault. None of that was your fault. Megumi, I'm sorry. So sorry I never told you.
"You're not a stupid street punk, Sanosuke. I'm sorry I called you that. You're a good man, one of the best I've ever known, and I...I'm really glad to know you."
He stared at her, stunned beyond measure. "You are?"
She nodded at him. Her eyes twinkled. "Even if you are also an idiotic rooster-head."
Sano tried to glare at her for that, but ended up grinning like an idiot instead. Maybe I didn't make a total fool of myself after all. "I'm glad to know you too...even if you're a sly fox-lady."
She laughed; he wanted to laugh too, but all he could do was sit here and look at her. She was so beautiful, and she hadn't kicked his ass for being presumptuous, or...or anything. She had an idea of how he felt about her, and she wasn't angry. She was glad to know him.
Ain't that something?
A thought struck him. With her feet in that condition, she couldn't walk. That fact raised a very interesting possibility, one that he wouldn't have considered before. But now, anything seemed possible.
He looked around. The fire had died down; the Akabeko was a wreck. It'd need to be entirely rebuilt before it could open up for business again. The townspeople had drifted away, back to their own homes and loved ones. A few people were still gathered around Tsubame, who was conscious but looked as though she had a headache. Genzai-sensei was talking to her. Tae was holding the injured girl's hand and looking concerned; Kenshin was listening, with one hand resting on Tae's shoulder.
As though sensing the gangster's gaze, Kenshin chose that moment to look towards them. His eyes were questioning. Sano flashed a thumbs-up to his friend and grinned broadly. Kenshin looked relieved and nodded, turning his attention back to Tae and Tsubame, trusting Sano to watch over Megumi. Just like Genzai-sensei had, earlier.
Well then. If it's up to me to take care of her, I can deal with that.
Sano stood up and then knelt down next to Megumi, placing one hand beneath her knees and another along her back. Before she had any time to protest he had lifted her up in his arms and was walking away from the area. Carrying her home.
"Sano!" she gasped, struggling in his arms. "What do you think you're doing?"
Her voice was indignant and surprised, but he was too high on adrenaline to be bothered by it. "Genzai-sensei told me to make sure you didn't move, right?" She nodded slowly, still staring at him as though he'd gone insane. He grinned down at her. "So how're you gonna get home if I don't carry you?"
"But--but--but--" She looked astonished,
"What, do you have any better ideas?"
"No, but--"
"Well then," he said, ending the argument. He couldn't resist the urge to tease her just a little more. "Besides, d'you know how long I've been waiting for an excuse t'get my arms around you?"
Megumi blushed furiously and looked away. "I'll get you back for this," she muttered.
I bet you will. "I look forward to it," he said, meaning every word.
There was a long moment of silence as they left the sounds of excitement behind them and entered the quiet city streets. The moon was high in the sky; it was much too late for people to be stirring. Even the few taverns they passed were quiet.
Sano let himself live in the moment, exquisitely aware of the night winds blowing by, the sound of his feet patting on the road. The weight of the woman in his arms. Her eyes were closed, her face buried against his shoulder as though seeking shelter there.
She looks so fragile.
The thought caught him by surprise. Megumi had so much strength, had endured so much in her life...it was easy to forget how vulnerable she could be. He remembered how afraid she was when they'd first met, how desperate she'd been to escape from Kanryuu and her own guilt.
But as soon as Kanryuu had been locked away--as soon as she'd found a job and begun to make a place for herself in their lives-- that side of her had disappeared as if it'd never been. The face she showed was always strong and capable, even during the tough times, like when the townspeople distrusted her for being a woman doing a man's job.
Was this side of her beneath that determined face, all that time?
"You don't have to be strong all the time, Megumi."
The words slipped out before he had a chance to think about them. She looked up quizzically, and Sano continued before he could change his mind. "You always try to be the strong one, for the rest of us. For the entire bloody town, even. You don't always have to be, though. If you need somebody to lean on..." He was on the verge of suggesting himself before he remembered what a stupid idea it was. Just because she's letting you help her home doesn't mean anything, idiot! "You don't have to keep yourself alone," he finished in a rush.
He glanced down at her face; she looked thoughtful, and he looked away before she could catch him staring. He forced his thoughts back to remembering where her house was--as if he didn't walk by it ten times a day hoping to run into her.
I can't believe what a day this has been.
I wonder...will I wake up tomorrow and find that nothing's changed,
after all? Already the night seems unreal. I sure hope it
isn't.
He grunted slightly as he walked up the small set of steps leading to her doorway; his arms were beginning to feel the strain of carrying her. He paused in front of the door; she reached out and slid it open. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness inside, but once they did, he could see several small rooms. "Which way?"
Megumi pointed just as Sano glimpsed the outline of a futon in one of the rooms and started moving towards it. He maneuvered both of them through the narrow doorway and sat her down carefully on the mattress, then sat down himself, rubbing his arms.
Haven't carried anything as heavy as a person for a while...I'd
forgotten what a strain it is.
...aaah, it was worth it. But what now?
The silence between them grew until his ears were ringing from it. He shook his head slightly in an attempt to clear it.
I should go. Before I say something stupid and ruin it all. I want to remember this night like it is.
He stood up, trying not to look at her. "Well. G'nite."
"Sano." She reached up and grabbed his arm, halting him.
He waited.
"Please stay."
His heart stopped. Then it started again, running at about ten times its normal pace.
She's tired. She's hysterical. She nearly died. She just wants comforting, not me, and it wouldn't be right. I haven't ever taken advantage of a girl, and now's definitely not the time to start.
But even as he thought the words he could feel his body's reaction, the way it already felt connected to hers. He already knew how much he wanted...
It's not right, he repeated stubbornly. I can't do that to her. "Megumi..." Sano started, trying to find words for what he felt.
"Please," she interrupted. Her hand tightened on his arm. "I don't want to be alone tonight. I want to be with you. Whatever happens. Stay."
He couldn't move. He couldn't think. This couldn't be possible. Not in a million years, not after a million nights spent awake thinking about something just like this...it couldn't be real.
"Please," she repeated softly.
Please...
Sano closed his eyes, as if not seeing her would help her make up his mind. He gently removed his arm from her grasp and left the room, his mind blank. He walked through the main room in a daze, heading for the front door. He stopped in front of it. He stood in front of the open door for what seemed an eternity of indecision--then reached out and slid it closed in front of him, blocking out the outside world.
Please don't let her regret this. Or me.
He walked slowly back towards her room, his feet weighed down by doubt and confusion. All the rest of him felt as though it were on fire.
I must be dreaming. She can't really mean it.
Can she?
He paused in her doorway. She was still sitting on her bed, head lowered so that hair covered her face. Even so, she was beautiful. And now he that he was seriously thinking about how it might feel to hold her, like that...what her skin might feel like, hot against his, what she might feel like under him...what her eyes might look like while he kissed her...thinking about all those things, with her not five feet away...
He clenched his fists tightly, hoping that the pressure would keep him from running and throwing his arms around her. I'm not gonna take advantage of her. "Megumi, are you sure about this?" he asked unhappily, uncertain.
Her head jerked up. Her face was wet, her eyes sparkling with water. Sano's heart stopped.
Is she...crying? Hell! What do I--
Her sudden smile was so bright that it dazzled him; she held out her hands, and he could almost see the sparks flying between the two of them, electrifying. He had stepped forward and taken her hands without even realizing it, and then sat down on the bed beside her, staring dumbstruck into her eyes.
"Yes."
It took a while for the word to get past the fog in his head. Yes? His lips parted, trying to form words and failing.
"If you want to be here." That was more shy, more uncertain.
More than anything, his dazed brain answered. She was pulling him down onto the bed, beside her, and he gave in entirely. One hand reached up to brush along her face--the skin there was just as soft as he'd thought it would be--and then to hold it in place as he leaned down to kiss her.
Just before their lips met she spoke again, her voice wry with amusement. "Besides, how will I get out of bed tomorrow morning if you're not here?"
The laugh bubbled out of him, throwing itself against their joined mouths. He broke apart, grinning down at her and loving her mischievous expression. That, more than anything, convinced him that she was sure of herself. "I can think of worse things than keeping you in this bed for a week..." he growled, leering down at her.
She laughed and reached up for him again, sparks shining in her eyes.
-chan: Little or cute. Usually used for children, especially
-sensei: Doctor
onna-sensei: Doctor-lady
mou: a mild curse; sort of like "darn" or "drat" or "rats!"
'Yas'mi: A somewhat mumbled form of "Oyasumi," which means
"good night." I stole it from Tae's story Taken With the
Notion; sorry, Tae! I couldn't help it! It's too cute a word!
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