Inspire partially by Mrs. Refreshing Little Red Riding Hood AU and RWBY Chibi. Otherwise, it's an original. Semi-original (that word makes no sense).

Point out any spelling/grammar mistakes. This world is weird.

Pardon my grammar.

FIXED: Lien part along with sentence structure. Thank you OpKingDimond!

Fairy Tales - 'Stupid' Little Red Riding Hood

"Before we continue with our regular program. There's something interesting being broadcasted in an alternative reality of your world."

"Interesting?"

"Alternative reality exists?" Marrow questions.

Harriet shrugs, "Probably. I mean, we're literally in another dimension watching other worlds."

"That's unsettling somehow."

"Is it another one of those meet the so and so viewings?" Coco asks, curious to see who would be next.

"Not this one." The Hosts tinkers with the screen, causing it to flicker. "This alternative reality is a bit of an oddity. More so than any other, you might see for now. For one, some possess abilities that go beyond what semblance and Dust are capable of. You could call it, magic."

Those who are aware of the existence of magic froze a bit.

"Sounds… Interesting?" Vernal manages, ignoring the glare from Raven. She raises a hand to defend herself from her leader's piercing glare. "Just saying."

"So… What's happening in that reality?" Jaune hopes nothing bad will be occurring to him and his friends.

"It's a bit hard to explain, but to sum it up… In this particular timeline of this reality, Team RWBY is taking part in a fairy tale known as Little Red Riding Hood."

Blake raises an eyebrow, "We're doing a play?"

"Plays are okay." Yang rhymes.

"Fairy tales?" Ozpin put up a knowing smile. "How interesting. I've never heard of that one before."

"Little Red Riding Hood? Sounds like Ruby." Tai jokes at his youngest daughter.

"Dad!"

Yang nods, "It kinda does."

"Yang!"

"This fairy tale hails from another world with many variations. If you're interested, we can provide you a book that encompasses fairy tales and folklores from other worlds."

"I'll gladly accept your offer." A large book floats down from the sky, to which Ozpin receives it. "Thank you."

"Our pleasure." The screen flickers once more, the theater room lights dim. "Let us begin."

The scene opens up to a forest in Patch. The starting place of the fairy tale known as Little Red Riding Hood.

Narrating the story offscreen is none other than Professor Ozpin, who couldn't pass up this opportunity to spin another tale and many more to come. The scene slowly pans down to a medium-size cabin. The front door opens revealing Ruby Rose and her signature red hood.

"Of course, it'll be Ruby." Yang snorts, "The red hood gives it away instantly."

Blake smirks, "It was pretty obvious."

"You guys, shush!"

Ozpin begins narrating the story. "Deep in the forest of Patch lives Little Red Riding Hood and her father."

"How fitting. I appear to be the narrator." Ozpin smiles, having told stories before to others in the past.

Raven scowls, "Yes, how fitting."

Yang quietly notes the sour note in her mother's tone. Once again, it has something to do with fairy tales. She'll get to the bottom of this when she has the chance.

The young girl jumps down the small flight of stairs and hops away on the dirt path.

"Bye, dad!" Ruby waves goodbye to her father, skipping down the path while carrying a picnic basket and her trusty scythe.

"Be careful!"

"Or should we call her, Little Ruby Rose Hood." Ozpin chuckles.

"Hmm… Doesn't have the ring to it, Ozpin." Another voice interrupts his storytelling. A feminine voice: Salem's. "Our titular character has a rather rugged title, don't you agree?"

Ozpin begins coughing upon hearing Salem's voice, unable to form cohesive words. His colleagues' eye him with concern; Glynda helps lessen his coughing by patting him on the back.

Cinder's eyes widen, knowing full well who this person is. Her master, "Salem…"

"Who's with Professor Ozpin?" Pyrrha asks, never hearing the woman's voice before.

Ozpin sighs, "Salem, please don't interrupt me."

Now, it's Ozpin's inner circle and Raven whose eyes became as large as saucers. Their reaction did not go unnoticed by those around him.

"Who's Salem?" Ruby innocently asks.

"We cannot answer that question for the time being." The adults who are aware of Salem's existence breath a sigh of relief, for now.

"But what is she doing there?" Qrow quietly asks himself. "And why are you two narrating?"

Ozpin regains his composure, taking several steady sips from his mug to calm his nerves. "Our Hosts did happen to say that this weird is an oddity. We don't have much of a choice but to accept this."

"You didn't answer my question~"

"… Yes, the name doesn't have the same effect as Little Red Riding Hood. Moving on." He clears his throat and continues his narration. "Where was I? Ah, yes." Ruby pulls her signature red hood over her head and hums a cheery tone while swaying her scythe that's carrying her picnic basket. "Little Ruby Rose Hood is off to see her grandma," Ozpin quickly corrected himself, stifling a laugh at his mistake while Salem let out an amusing snort. "err… Uncle Qrow."

"Pfft!" Raven and Tai couldn't hold back their laughter and pointed at the huntsman, much to his chagrin.

"Very mature. Tai, Rae." Qrow grumbles, shooting the two of them a spiteful glare. "I can see you smirking, Winter."

Winter turns away, her small smirk turning into a full-grown icy grin.

"I never saw my sister smile like that…" Weiss numbly takes notes of her sister's demeanor.

"Maybe she and uncle Qrow –" Yang starts but was quickly shot down by Weiss.

"No. Just, no."

"Entrusting her with a basket full of food and drinks, her father warns her about three things: Don't stray from the path."

Ruby passes by a bush, taking no notice of a dark-colored wolf ear poking out from the leaves.

"How did I miss something so obvious?" Ruby complains to herself.

"I spy with my little eye, Blake." Yang nudges at the cat faunus.

Blake frowns, "Those ears are slightly different than mines."

"Don't talk to strangers." The bush rustle as the shadowy figure steps out onto the path and approaches Ruby from behind.

Ruby slows down, her instinct telling her that someone or something is approaching her. The figure menacingly closes in behind her, hands reaching out.

Yang fakes a gasp, "Oh, no. Behind you, Ruby."

"And lastly, should she encounter a wolf…"

She turns around with a curious expression, coming face to face with a wolf faunus-like Oscar whose eyes gleam with hunger. Without hesitation, Ruby swung her scythe overhead, bringing it down on his head with a frightening expression.

Oscar yelps, collapsing onto the ground and curling up into a ball, clutching his head in agony. His wolf ears twitch, his tail trembling as he lays there whimpering on the ground.

"Well… He's not too worried."

"Wait, what?" Oscar and Team RWBY look baffled by the sudden turn of events.

"Those wolf ears and tails… They're not fake." Velvet notes how they twitch and move with life.

"That is because they are real." The Hosts steps in to explain, "Just like how we're able to create objects seemingly out of nowhere, those wielding magic can perform similar feats, albeit extremely limited compare to what we are capable of."

"You're saying that Oscar is a wizard in this reality?!" Nora squeals, eyes shining bright.

"Correct."

"Yeeeeeee! Wizard boy!"

Ozpin and his inner circle, Raven, and Cinder's group kept this implication to themselves.

Blake leans back in her chair. "Somehow, that would explain the multiple animal traits that Oscar has."

"How does that even work?" Oscar skeptically asks the Hosts.

"It'll take a considerable length of time for us to explain. For now, it would be in everyone's best interest to continue watching."

"I would rather hear their explanation than watch this." Cinder mumbles to herself.

Ruby stands over him triumphally, red cape billowing in the wind. After a few seconds pass before Ruby winces at what she had done, "Whoops. I think I hit him too hard."

"How could you be so cruel to a minor?" Weiss asks her leader, half-joking.

"Wh-what? Me?" Ruby gasps at the accusation, she stops when she saw the heiress smirking. "Weiss!"

Yang laugh, a single bark. "Who knew Ice Queen could joke."

"I hope my other self doesn't have a concussion."

"Yes. Quite the brute she is, just like her sister." Salem remarks offscreen, "Just what are you teaching your students, Ozpin?"

"Hey!" Ruby and Yang indignantly cry out at Salem's remark.

"Salem, you can't just sneak up on a huntress-in-training like that."

"But to have such a violent reaction?"

The two bickers offscreen while Ruby frantically hovers around Oscar, unsure if she can even perform first aid for blunt force trauma.

"I told you we should have included a more in-depth mandatory First Aid course for our first years," Glynda whispers to Ozpin. "Having the basic downs isn't good enough, especially with blunt force trauma."

"The council mistakenly assumes that first-year students do not encounter the same hardship as their older peers, which is why they cut back some of our funding for those courses." Ozpin sighs, "I'll write up a proposal and theoretical scenario for the council to reconsider when we get back."

"They argue like a married couple," Robyn said regarding Salem and Ozpin. Said statement from Robyn caused Ozpin to breathe incorrectly, making him cough haphazardly again.

/-/

"Professor Ozpin and that creepy pale lady are still at it," Ruby notes, glancing at something offscreen with a slightly amused expression. "Well, guess we'll have to continue the story without their narration." She rubs Oscar's bandaged head while he eats a sandwich Ruby had given to him from her picnic basket. "Hopefully, uncle Qrow will be awake and not completely wasted by the time we get there."

"Ruby, how could you?" Qrow looks betrayed, "Have you always been like this behind my back?"

Ruby vehemently denies it, "N-no! That's not me uncle Qrow. Well, technically she is me, but not me-me."

Oscar chews and swallows a piece of his sandwich. "Isn't he always drinking?"

Far off, Ozpin and Salem were still arguing about something, though their conversation has grown distant and inaudible.

"Yup." She said, popping the 'p' as they went along their merry way. "Something about drowning his sorrow and bad luck." She waves a finger at him, "But! He's a cool uncle! Even if he's wasted most of the time, he can still kick butt!"

"Cool."

Winter rubs her temple irritated, "Somehow, I knew you would be relegated to drinking such unpleasant beverages 24/7."

"Oi. At least I'm still an amazing and cool uncle while still able to beat just about everything is thrown my way while drunk. Including you, Ice Queen." Qrow glance at Weiss, "Not you, mini Ice Queen."

Marrow gesture at Winter and Qrow. "Sounds like those two have a history together."

"It would seem so." Vine nods, "Though, let's not pry into it for the time being."

"After taming the 'big bad' wolf, Little Ruby Rose Hood, I honestly prefer Little Red Riding Hood, and her newly found companion continue on with their journey to her uncle's house." Salem narrates, having temporarily overtaken Ozpin's role as the narrator. "Hmm… I believe we'll be needing another antagonist since the previous one isn't up to the task."

Ruby shot Salem a withering glare, "People can't be 'tame,' evil lady."

"Everything can be tame, to a certain degree."

"I'm the narrator here, and we're keeping this age-appropriate." Ozpin said, taking back control of his role. "Now then, so… Little Ruby Rose Hood and Oscar, the wolf continued on their way, even though we have completely diverged on the story, to uncle Qrow's house."

"Sounds like this Salem woman isn't a good person." The fact that Ruby calls her evil with full conviction speaks volumes on the type of character this mysterious woman is.

That would be an understatement. Was the thought of Ozpin's inner circle and Raven.

"Suppose this person name Salem is of questionable character." Ironwood lowkey tries to get some answers out of the Hosts regarding why Salem is there with Ozpin. "How and why is she there? If she's proven to be a danger. If she does prove to be a dangerous individual, I mean."

"We cannot answer that for the time being."

"Yeah, we've completely messed up this fairy tale, didn't we?" Ruby looked embarrassed, "We do need another wolf since you're with me now."

"Nice going, sis. I bet the story isn't even halfway done and you already messed it up."

"I had never taken theater class before." Ruby rebukes, "How was I supposed to know?"

"Remind me again why I'm the wolf?" Oscar asks, trailing by Ruby's side like a puppy with his tail wagging. "Wouldn't Blake make a better fit? Maybe even Jaune?"

They hop over on the stones to cross over a shallow creek, continuing the dirt path that appears to be the only trail in these woods.

Yang did find that odd. "Yeah. Why isn't Blake the wolf?"

"Is it because I'm a faunus?"

"W-well, not that… I mean."

Blake snorts, "I'm joking." Quelling the uneasiness that she might have inflicted. "I also wonder about that too. Guess we're about to see."

"Blake was complaining about something regarding being a faunus, but I saw her sneaking off with that secret book of hers. She just wants to read her book in peace, so she's out. As for Jaune, well… Dr. Oobleck wanted him to be in this Joan of Arc historical legend thing."

"Secret… Book?" Her teammates turn towards the cat faunus, who shy away from their stare. "What secret book?"

"I-it's nothing. Probably doesn't exist in our reality."

Dr. Oobleck raises his hand. "What's this about a historical legend?"

"Joan of Arc? Is that my ancestor or something?"

The Hosts silently converse with Dr. Oobleck and Jaune to spare the rest of the audience, seeing how much dialogue is starting to split their attention.

Ruby scratches her head, trying to remember what the history teacher wants with Jaune. "As for everyone else, Ren is out of the equation because of Nora, Pyrrha wouldn't make a good big bad wolf, Weiss has a part to play in another fairy tale…"

"I'm sorry!" Pyrrha apologies across the aisle. The Mistralian champion is too nice to play the antagonists, for the most part.

"What about Yang?"

"Heeey! Did somebody call me?" Yang jumps out from behind a tree, startling both of them. She was dressed in a plaid red shirt and dark brown overalls, completely out of her style considering what she normally wears. On one hand, she held a steel axe with a wooden shaft. "You know, Coco would have a massive heart attack if she saw this."

Yang recoils while her friends and family members laugh at on-screen Yang's outfit. "That is not my style!"

"It's not that bad," Coco admits, making the blond brawler feel slightly better.

"Yang?! What are you doing here?"

Yang made a finger gun, mimicking a clicking sound as she fires off her pun. "Nuh-uh! Let me be the one to 'axe' you the question here."

Little Ruby Rose Hood stood there, frozen on the spot for a brief moment before drawing her scythe with a 'schwing' sound causing Oscar to yelp in fright.

There was no light in her eyes. Just lifeless, dull silver eyes.

"Let me 'axe' you instead."

"Uh oh." Jaune gulps.

Tai, Qrow, and Raven shivers; reminiscing the time Summer finally snaps due to the Branwen's antics. It was one of the most terrifying days of their lives.

"Little Red makes everything red." Read Neo's sign.

"Can't blame her if she's been living with those puns for years." Said Roman, making a mental note to be wary of the crimson reaper.

Team RWBY, barring their team leader, scoots away slowly from Ruby.

"What? What?! That's not me!" Ruby groans, "Why is this happening to me?"

"Whoa! Whoa! Hang on there!" Yang defensively brought her axe in front of her, knowing that it wouldn't protect her from her sister. "Don't go axe crazy on me now, Rubes! Ruby? Ruby?!"

The blond girl scrambles off into the dense woods for her life while her sister pursues her in a blur of red.

Yang's cries and pleas were muffled by Salem's narration, who sounds like she's enjoying the show. "And so, Little Red Rose Hood chase the woodcutter throughout the forest on her quest to end the endless torment that is the woodcutter's puns."

"Our puns are wonderful, thank you very much." Tai felt the urge to step up and defend their family puns.

"For your sake, Tai. I would recommend you tune down the number of puns you and Yang make." Qrow suggests, "Like, really. You're going to drive someone crazy soon."

"I'm with my little brother on that one."

"You secretly love my puns."

"I do not!"

"Stop corrupting the story with your narration!" Ozpin snaps at his former wife, "Oscar! Take this box of freshly bake cookies and give it to Miss Rose before she siblicide Miss Xiao Long!"

A pink solid box was thrown offscreen at Oscar who caught it, juggling it in the air as he tries to get a firm hold on it. "G-got it! Ruby! Wait! I have cookies!"

Oscar took off into the forest after the girl in red with a box of cookie tuck in one arm.

"Glad to see you're taking care of my nieces, Oz." Qrow set aside his flask, already determining that this viewing couldn't be forgotten with any drink he could handle.

"That poor boy." Glynda shakes her head, "He's going to have to deal with their mischief."

"At least it's nothing compare to the staggering number of incidents you have to handle daily," Ozpin said smilingly.

"I'm enjoying this too much. I should come to visit you and your students ever so often."

"I'd rather you not."

Ironwood looked half concerned, half-joking. "She's been visiting you?"

"No, she has not." Ozpin flatly replies, looking unamused. "I wouldn't be in Vale if she was."

Nora sharp ears pick up on that, "I bet she's Professor Ozpin's ex-wife." She shares with her teammates.

/-/

The scene cuts to Ruby and Yang sitting on a wooden bench just to the side of the dirt path, while Oscar continues to stand, holding a map with both hands. The forest is now peaceful and quiet after the intense game of lethal tag with the sisters ended. Only the sound of Ruby gluttonously devouring an entire box of cookies could be heard within the forest.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Yang asks, leaning back on the bench.

"We shouldn't be," Oscar replies, turning the map slightly. "At worst, the trail leads to somewhere at least."

Weiss pats Oscar on the head, "I too, sometimes feel like I'm the only sane person on my team. Occasionally Blake as well."

"Hey." Blake took offense to that. She's perfectly normal.

"Are you guys always like what's shown?" Team RWBY went silent by his question, too embarrassed and unsure of what to say. "I'm taking that as a yes."

Yang groans and place rests her head on her hand, "You guys literally had one simple job, and that's not to stray from the path."

"That was your fault," Ruby said in between mouthful of cookies, before swallowing it all in one big gulp. "Your puns were driving me crazy."

"I'm submitting you to a psychologist after this."

"I don't need one. Whatever that is."

"Hmm…" Weiss cups her chin thoughtfully, "That might be a good idea."

Ruby shot her partner a glare, "Excuse you, but I'm perfectly fine."

"Your affection for weapons tells us otherwise."

"Hey, um. Guys." Oscar meekly calls them over, "If this map is correct…" He traces his finger on the map, then slowly points towards a densely tree populated area. "Your uncle's house should be a few meters away behind those trees."

"Wait, really?"

"What are the odds?" Qrow whistles.

Tai nods, remembering the time Yang and Ruby were almost killed by Grimm in the forest. Granted it was back when they were young, but the fear is still there. "Glad they didn't get lost in the forest."

Ruby and Yang got up from their seat and stroll over towards the tree, smoothly cutting down the trees with their axe and scythe. Not soon after, across a small cliff and river lies a modest-looking small house with metal fence.

"Oh, wow. I never knew uncle Qrow's house is nearby this area." Ruby hoist up her basket and started to make her way towards the house.

"I'm surprised he even has a house," Yang mutters under her breath.

Yang is in an agreement with her on-screen counterpart. "I did find that weird too."

"I heard that, you brat." Qrow growls.

Raven and Tai chuckle at Yang's remark.

"Even your nieces, huh?" Winter smirks at the huntsman's annoyance.

The trio crossed over the shallow river on a fallen tree, climbing up the small cliffside before arriving at the fenced gates of Qrow's house. Solid metal fences as tall as Yang serve as a deterrence for animals and Grimm, along with unwelcome visitors.

There's even a signpost that read 'Huntsman's Residence. Trespass at your own risk' that's staked behind the fence.

"I can easily picture you setting those up." Ironwood poke fun at Qrow.

Qrow huffs, "Yeah, yeah. International Insult Qrow Day."

"Yay, we made it! Even though we completely upended the fairy tale we were supposed to act." Ruby pulls out a metal key and unlocks the metal gate to let them in. "Uncle Qrow! We're here!"

The front door clicks, slowly opening to reveal…

Weiss Schnee in her combat attire, covered over by a woolly dark green cape that old ladies wear, along with a pair of spectacles with its lens removed.

"Weiss?!" The three of them were taken aback by the heiress's unexpected appearance.

"Wait, Weiss?"

Winter did a doubletake, "What is my little sister doing at your home?!"

"Whoa, take it easy!" Qrow backs away from the enraged specialists.

"Calm down." Glynda snaps at them, "There must be a good explanation for this."

"Do you really need to yell?" Weiss snaps, covering her ears with a scowl. "I can hear you perfectly fine, despite playing the role of your grandmother."

"What are you doing at uncle Qrow's house?"

"Yes. Why is she there?" Winter asks coldly. The air around her got chilly.

"Please, let it be a good reason," Weiss begs.

She raises a finger at them, "One, this is actually Professor Ozpin's forest observatory, I read the copy of the property's deed. Two, your uncle was too intoxicated and had to be replaced with yours truly. And three, we're still in need another 'big bad' wolf" She air quotes, "to continue this story."

"Oh." Winter sat back in her chair, looking content as if nothing happened.

"I hope you're happy." Qrow grunts. He turns to Ozpin, "You didn't tell us you have a forest observatory in Patch."

"To my knowledge, I don't."

"Huh, guess uncle Qrow got too drunk again." Ruby casually remarks.

Weiss rolls her eyes, "Sounds like a common occurrence."

They all enter the house, finding the interior surprisingly larger than what its exterior has shown.

"Huh. Makes sense." Yang pulls out a chair and takes a seat at what appears to be the dining room. "Uncle Qrow would never settle down in a place like this. No bar or brewery for miles here."

Qrow couldn't argue with Yang's statement, "I'll give you that, firecracker."

"Am I still playing the part of the big bad wolf?"

Weiss huffs, "I wish. Unfortunately, someone fax us another edited script and replaced you with Blake. I don't know who, but that just makes things more complicated."

Ruby's eyes widen slightly and turn away, trying to look as innocent as possible.

All three of her teammates stares at the girl beside them.

"It wasn't me." Ruby denies.

Oscar seemed content with that, "So, where is she?"

"Zwei is tracking her down." Weiss opens her scroll and checks the time. "He should be arriving with her about… Now."

The door swung open, and Zwei enters the house, somehow carrying Blake on his head.

"Woof!"

"Aww, good boy." Weiss gushes as the corgi throws Blake off; she lands face-first into the hard floor. "Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are!"

"That dog is evil." Blake hiss.

Marrow snorts at Blake's remark, being a dog faunus.

"Aw, I miss Zwei." Ruby mops, remembering that their corgi is still back in Remnant.

"Who knew the ice queen can be melted to this extent?" Mercury snickers at the heiress's 180-degree turn in her demeanor.

"Exploitable." Cinder smirks.

Blake picks herself up from the floor and brushes her clothes while scowling at Weiss and Zwei. "You two are just the worse."

"Glad you could drop by, Blakey. Now, let's go finish up this fairy tale!"

"Okay, really?" She waves her partner off, then gestures at the farm boy possessing wolf ears and tail. "Why am I the wolf? You already have Oscar."

"Duh! Because you're half animal! This part was made for you." Ruby quickly said, sliding over to Oscar.

"What about Oscar? He literally has more animal traits right now than any other faunus I ever known!"

"My other self is right, and you guys literally have him by your side!" Blake points at the farm boy on-screen. "Wolf ears and tails, right there!"

"Yes, Blake. We can see that."

"Still not sure how this magic thing works," Oscar mutters under his breath.

"No, he doesn't. It's all a magic trick." Ruby whispers something to Oscar and pulls her red cloak over him. "Tada!" She pulls her cloak back, revealing Oscar without his wolf ears and tails. "See? Now, he's not a wolf anymore."

Team JNPR, CVFY, Sun, and Neptune all clap at that.

"Nice one. I think." Sun scratches his head with his monkey tail.

"Hah. Denied." Yang gently elbows her friend with a wide grin.

Blake shot them a displeased look before resigning to her role as the big bad wolf. "This is bull…" She grumbles, "Stupid magic tricks and hocus pocus. What's next? Somebody gets to turn into a bird?"

Her grumbling palpably overheard by Ruby, whose eyes gleam at the idea of turning someone into a bird. The crimson reaper swivels her head back to Oscar with an expression that practically screams 'I have an idea!'

Qrow and Raven all pause at that. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Is that even possible?"

"It's magic, duh!" Nora waves it off.

Ozpin allows himself to smile at that, "Magic. How convenient."

"Have a treat, Zwei." Weiss coos, handing him two doggy treats.

Blake comes stomping over, pulling the heiress away. "Come on, I want this stupid story over with."

"Guess we'll have a new ice queen soon beside Weiss and her sister." Yang laughs at the expense of her partner.

"Sheesh. Someone is throwing a hissy fit."

"Shut up, Yang. Get into position. I don't want to redo this." Blake glances around, "Where's Ruby?"

"I'm right here!" Ruby jumps into the scene with an adorable Pine Siskin on her shoulder. "Chop, chop! Let's do this and then go back to our dorms!"

Oscar blinks, "Is that me on her shoulder?"

"It is."

"How adorable!" Nora and Weiss exclaim.

/-/

Weiss laid on a soft bed, fake reading a dictionary book as it was the only reading material in the room aside from Blake's smut.

A soft knocking came from the door, to which the heiress answers.

"Yes? Oh, hello there." She monotonously greeted Blake, the big bad wolf. "How did you get in the house, stranger?"

"Hello, Little Ruby Rose Hood's grandmother," Blake replies just as unenthusiastically, her tone somehow flatter than Weiss's.

Roman and Neo burst out laughing, "Well, this is beyond sad."

"They look dead inside." Vernal couldn't help but snicker at their misfortune.

"Kill me." Blake groans.

"I get the feeling that our other selves have been at this for a while…"

"Do I know you? Also, you didn't answer my question."

"Your granddaughter let me… Gah! Forget this! Get into the closest grandma!" Blake stomps into the room, picking Weiss off the ground and rolling her up in a bedsheet. Surprisingly, Weiss didn't even utter a single protest. "Look! Even Weiss stopped complaining about this! We've been at this for twelve takes already, Ruby! Let's call it a wrap! We don't even know where Professor Ozpin or that creepy lady went!"

Most of the students and several adults laugh at the display, while others were taken aback by how many takes they were already at, or the reference about Salem.

"Twelve takes?" Fox repeated, "For the same scene?"

"Guys! Come on! Just a few sentences and we'll be back home!" Ruby whines, careful not to squish the Pine Siskin nested in the makeshift pouch of her hood.

Weiss's muffle voice quiver behind the wrapped-up bedsheet, before unraveling herself from the roll. "Who rewrote this stupid script anyway?"

"I did. Thank you very much!" Ruby points at herself, looking very sassy.

"Wait, so it wasn't Professor Ozpin or his creepy pale girlfriend?" Asked Yang with a steely tone.

Ozpin sputters at that. Across the aisles, Raven laughed at the ancient wizard's suffering while his colleague tended to his need.

"Told you." Nora sang.

Ren shakes his head, "That doesn't confirm anything."

"Uhh…" Ruby paused, thinking of a way to get out of this entanglement. "It was approved by one of them."

"Riiight." Her sister takes out their script and flips through some of the lines. "No wonder. This Little Red Riding Hood's rewrite is a total Mary Sue character."

Ruby's jaws drop, "What?!"

Yang reread the heavily edited version of their script, with fake innocent and cutesy eyes. "'Loved by many and known for her hood?' Yeah, you totally based her off yourself. More so than the original version."

"I'll say," Weiss added into the fire with a smirk.

Blake, Weiss, and Yang watches in amusement as Ruby made a series of aggravating sound, angrily grinding at the metal shaft of her scythe.

Tai winces, never seeing his youngest daughter get this bothered. "Oh, no."

"Is it that time of the month again?" Yang asks with genuine curiosity. "No wonder you're so easily irritated and violent today."

"That would explain a lot." Blake mumbles.

Weiss nods, "Indeed."

Ruby pulls her hood over her head in embarrassment.

"Yang!"

"Hold up." Weiss glances around, "I see Zwei, but where's Oscar?"

The small Pine Siskin peek its head up from its resting position and chirps.

"Oh, he's right here." Ruby pats him on the head with a finger.

"You're kidding me." Blake deadpans, "You have to be kidding me. He can do that?"

"My thoughts exactly." Qrow, Raven, and Blake said simultaneously.

"Am I some sort of finch?" Leave it to Oscar to ask the real questions.

"Don't sink your fang into him, kitty." Yang teases her partner. "I saw what you did to that fish you caught last week."

Ruby sighs, pinching her forehead. "Guys, we're getting off track." She glances over to Weiss who had her entire attention to bird form Oscar. "Weiss, Oscar, Yang. Go offstage. We're skipping Act 15 and starting at Act 16."

A loud knock from the front door caught everybody's attention.

"I wonder who that could be." Velvet muses.

"Place your bets." Coco jokingly takes off her beret and shakes it for her teammates to place Liens in.

"We don't have any Lien to pay with." Yatsuhashi points out.

"I know, I'm pulling your legs."

They file out of the room, curious who their guest is. The front door clicks and swung open.

Glynda Goodwitch has entered the scene.

"Glynda enters the left stage." Qrow dramatically read from an imaginary script. "Or however they put it on those papers."

"Guess I make another appearance," Glynda huffs, "cleaning up all your messes."

Her eyes narrow down on Team RWBY, making them gulp. "Children. Have you seen Professor Ozpin?"

Ironwood chuckles, "Better run, old friend."

"Humorous." Ozpin deadpans, "Though that does beg the question about my whereabouts." In truth, he doesn't want to know. He really, really doesn't want to know. "I shudder to imagine…"

"Along with her who must not be named," Qrow adds.

"Professor Ozpin?" Yang blinks twice, "I haven't heard from him in a while after I got chase by Ruby into the forest…"

Their headmaster and the creepy pale Grimm lady simply stopped talking afterward.

"Yeah, he suddenly got quiet along with that lady. What was her name again? I think he calls her Salem, or something with an 'S'. Weird name."

Sun tilts his head slightly to the side, "Oh yeah, I thought something was missing."

"Is Salem a color or something?" Jaune looks to his teammates for an answer, all of whom were unsure by that.

Nora rubs her chin, tapping upon her brain. "Is the name Ozpin a color?"

Glynda's expression barely changes, "I see." She turns her back and was about to leave the door before she pauses. "Wait, aren't you all supposed to be in class?"

The entirety of Team RWBY's pupil shrink as Glynda veers her head towards them. The girls shot each other panicking glances.

"They're skipping class?" Glynda's voice was taut.

"Have you been skipping your classes?" Winter asks her younger sister.

"I never do such a thing." Weiss proudly proclaims. Though deep down, she would do such a thing if it's necessary, just for her teammates.

Having no way to weasel their way out of this one, their team leader has one thing to say: "Cheese it!"

They took off. With the exception of Yang, everyone utilizes their semblance to make a speedy getaway while the poor blond brawler was instantly caught by Glynda.

"No! You guys! Help me!"

"Every girl for herself!"

Yang pretends to be grumpy, "You're all dead to me." There are times where she wishes she has a speed semblance instead. Literally, all her teammates could flash step but her.

"That won't save you either way," Blake said in amusement.

"Escaping from Glynda is an impossible task." Said Qrow, earning him a look from his peers. "Trust me, we tried."

Raven groans, "I thought we agree never to speak or acknowledge that."

"You have got to tell me what happens!" Yang ditches her grumpy façade, "No take backs! You too, dad, mom."

Their screams of terrors echo throughout the forest of the house as Team RWBY scatters across the dense wood, leaving bird-form Oscar and Zwei alone in the house. Oscar flew out of the house, transforming back to his original human form and glance around the overturn forest.

"Well, this is a mess." He rubs his head and turns his head to Zwei.

"Woof!" The corgi agrees.

"What an understatement. The play went off track within two lines!" Tai laughs, "That has got to be a new record!"

Blake's cat ears flick up, "Not something to be proud of, but okay."

Oscar scratches his cheek. "The Hosts weren't kidding when they said this reality was weird."

"Probably one of the weirdest one so far," Ruby admits.

"Nonsensical would be the correct term."

"Guess we'll have to end this with a curtain call." They both face the screen and bow. Red curtains suddenly close over the scene, ending the viewing.

The screen darkens and the lights return to the theater room.

"That was something." Clover chuckles.

Port nods, "Quite enjoyable, I must say."

"And weird." Oscar added in, "Very weird."

"I'm embarrassed." Ruby groans, putting both hands over her face. "All because of my teammates."

"You brought this upon yourself." Weiss teases, referencing the on-screen Ruby tampering with the play scripts. "Well, your other self brought it upon herself."

"Ahupupup! Not hearing it, I want to move on! Next!"

"Very well. Moving on to the next viewing."

Pardon my grammar.

Point out any spelling mistakes/grammar, if you would be so kind.