He hadn't known.

Marinette was different, now. She spoke to him less, still stuttered and still grew so red that the blue of her eyes looked nearly crystal, but she was only around him when she had to be. When Alya and Nino clung together at the hip while the four of them were out and about (though such an occurrence was rare), when Miss Bustier set them up as partners on a project (only happened once). He wasn't sure he would have noticed if she hadn't looked so sad. Nino wouldn't tell him why, only set a hand on his shoulder and shook his head: "Can't help ya, man. Sorry."

Alya was even less help, told him it was a girl thing, that Marinette would tell him when she was ready- he didn't miss the downward slope of their shoulders when he said her name.

He didn't mention it to Ladybug. She'd seemed off enough lately, not as fast as usual, seemed almost like she'd lost her ability to think ahead. They won, of course, they always would. Ladybug just seemed to have a lot on her mind, clogging up her process, running her into the ground. He laughed about it: "Your attention has been a little spotty, My Lady." She snorted at his joke, but seemed to forget each has a little bit of truth.

So he didn't tell Ladybug. It was too close to his identity, and his lady was too close to his heart.

Marinette's budding friendship with Kagami seemed to wither in the background. Kagami herself seemed to notice, and he could see pity in her eyes if he looked close enough. She didn't take it to heart, told him that Marinette "needed time", which is exactly what Alya and Nino had been telling him, and he was kind of getting sick of hearing it. Time was a factor, Marinette's sad, sad eyes were a factor, but the important "why", the biggest question of the three, it eluded him. Marinette eluded him.

It broke his heart. She was his friend, he cared about her. She was the smartest, kindest, most creative girl he knew- aside from his lady, of course. He had the insistent, unprompted urge to fix it, help her, but nobody- including Marinette- would tell him what was going on. He'd avoided asking her for weeks, didn't want to upset her by mentioning it, he knew his opinion mattered to her and he didn't want her to think he thought less of her for lagging in her cheery disposition as of late. He broke down after the third week, though, stopped her between classes with a gentle (kind, not demanding) hand latched around her lower arm. She'd gone red, but her wide eyes had faded in color after he'd come out and asked her what was wrong. She'd smiled at him (he knew a fake smile when he saw one), told him it was nothing, that she just wasn't feeling great. Then, in Marinette fashion, she told him she had other things to do- crazy, nonsensical chores, like babysitting a family member's pet mouse despite the glowing ramifications of a socially-known pest in a bakery. She'd gone home, and he hadn't seen her again until an akuma hit the city twenty minutes later. Even then, it had been brief. He saw her duck into an alley near her home and that was it. His lady had appeared a few moments afterward, and his mind momentarily lodged itself into Hero Mode.

He was up later than usual at night, just fifteen minutes, nothing too irrational, but he sat up and waited for an akuma to strike. He waited for sentient threads of fabric to tie around cars and throw them (and him) around. He waited for another Ladybug-imposter to crash through the observation deck of the eiffel tower. He waited for Marinette, sweet, gentle, amazing Marinette to get akumatized. He waited up in case he had to fight her- save her, but she never did.

Ladybug began getting hurt more than usual, and he wasn't sure if it was because he wasn't focusing enough or she was focusing too much on something else.

He started trying to talk to her more, offered to invite her to photoshoots and study with her, but Marinette wasn't having it. She told him she couldn't because of this reason or that reason, and he was starting to think it was him she was avoiding. He asked Nino and Alya if it had been him, because they would have to tell him if it was him, right? They told him he'd done nothing, that what Marinette was going through was not his fault. Logically, he believed them; his heart, well, his heart told him something else.

And then she caught up to him after school five weeks later. It wasn't raining, but it was murky. The skies had been grey all day as winter drew closer and the threat of snow hung over Paris like a string of fizzing lights. It was the first time he'd heard his name in her voice in so long that he almost didn't notice the nervous crack in her diction, like she was barely keeping tears out of her eyes. He should have known, then, gosh, why hadn't he known?

"I've been meaning to give this back to you."

She held out an umbrella, grey, simple, in one hesitant hand. He noticed it tremble, and he noticed the pale of her face. She was smiling at him

(but he knew what a fake smile looked like).

He recognized the umbrella, of course he did. He was concerned for her, he had been for a long time now, but he didn't want to upset her; he thanked her and reached out to take the umbrella. Their fingers brushed, and he felt resistance when he went to tug at it. He'd looked at her, brows furrowed, ready to ask, but he didn't want to. Her eyes were shut, swelling at the edges, and the tremble of her hand had become a tremor he couldn't pretend didn't exist. With Chat Noir-like reflexes, he'd taken the umbrella and stuck it in his back pocket with one hand and cupped her outstretched one in the other. "Marinette." She'd seemed startled enough already, wide eyes blinking owlishly back at his own, filled with concern. "Look, I know you don't consider me a close friend, but I can tell something's been bothering you for awhile now, and I want you to know that you can talk to me about it." She'd shaken her head, but he'd carried on, cupping her hand in both of his, pulling her closer to him because touch was the best means of comfort he'd known. "Please don't push me away, Marinette. I've been really worried about you, and Alya and Nino won't tell me what's up. If I did something-"

"Adrien, no, you- you didn't do anything."

"Then talk to me." He had gotten closer. "I want to help you, Marinette!"

He remembered feeling distraught as she'd ripped her hands from his, eyes so filled with emotion that he wasn't able to tell what was guilt and what was pain. It still hurt as she'd pressed his hands away, gentle as her touch may have been. "This is- it's nothing you can help me with Adrien. I just…" She'd retreated into herself, and she hadn't been looking at him. He'd hardly been able to see her eyes, as red as they were, under her eyelashes. "Don't get me wrong, I want to be your friend. Your friendship means the world to me! I-" Their eyes had met, and he didn't think he'd forget the way his heart lurched. Her voice was cracking, and he'd watched as she wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't be around you right now, Adrien. I'm- I'm so sorry."

She'd run right passed him, left him standing on the front steps of the school where they'd truly met. He'd never felt something so painful clench in his stomach.

It was like being cataclysmed, like Ladybug had torn his heart right out of his chest and dug her nails into it, like Hawkmoth had taken a bite of his lungs. He'd whipped around. Didn't really recognize his voice. "Marinette! Wait!"

Currently, Adrien laid on his bed, staring languidly up at the ceiling like a plan was written in gold on the paint. He was, quite frankly, surprised he hadn't been akumatized, himself. This pain, it was unlike anything else. He could close his eyes and see her unsteady hands and her red-blue eyes and it hurt. He wanted to pull her into his arms, squeeze the pain out of her, out of him, until she could tell him what was wrong, what he did, how to help. He wished he could dig his head into her shoulder and breath in that vanilla and dough smell, feel her tiny frame in his arms and see how she relaxes into him. What he wouldn't do to hear her laugh again, to see her flailing arms and taste her macaroons. He found, with some surprise, that there wasn't anything he could think of that he wouldn't do, short of handing his miraculous over to Hawkmoth.

"Oh," Plagg snickered from the other side of the room. He stuck a square of camembert in his mouth and swallowed it like an empty gutless hole. Adrien blinked at him, but Plagg hardly seemed invested. "He finally figures it out."

He wasn't sure if it was true until he ran into her in the middle of an akuma attack. He and Ladybug had paused and left the akuma to Rena and Carapace, both kwamis in desperate need of an energy refill. He'd watched Plagg stuff his face with half a brick of camembert when he heard a noise. Plagg was gone in seconds, slipping into his shirt as Marinette emerged from behind a large dumpster filled with trashbags, looking awfully intent on doing something with her hands. He wasn't sure, but his hero instinct, suit or no, urged him to act. An akuma was on the loose. Marinette was in danger. He called out to her. "Marinette!"

She jumped, startled face fading to gut-wrenching pain. "Adrien!"

"Marinette! What are you doing here? There's an akuma!"

"I-I just- I was running errands! What are you doing here? Don't you have a photoshoot?" How she knew that, he had no idea. It didn't much matter currently. He approached her in a near-sprint, pausing only when he realized she was backing away from him. He shook the guilt and the sob his heart was making.

"We have to get you out of here!"

She shook her head, her nervous smile made him feel a little better. It was familiar, charted territory when he'd been going by an undrawn map for weeks. She seemed to shrink into herself again, but in the self-conscious way Marinette tended to. "N-No, Alya is around here somewhere, I should find her first." She turned to him and pointed a finger in his face. "You should definitely hide, though!"

Adrien shook his head, and the ground shook with the sound of a building's incomplete skeleton hitting the ground. They both jumped, and though his instinct was usually to fight, Marinette's safety was more important. He twisted around and grabbed her by the hand pulling her down behind the dumpster where he'd seen her spring out. She choked and sputtered, but he wouldn't be letting her go. They hit the ground and pressed their backs against the concrete wall of the restaurant behind them. The ground shook beneath them again, and Adrien waited until the quake paused to peek around the dumpster. The akuma and their friends were passing the alley they'd ducked into, looking much too preoccupied with the fight to notice a small baker's daughter scrunched behind the garbage. Ladybug was nowhere in sight, yet, but Rena Rogue and Carapace were competent enough on their own until he could get away to transform back. He turned back to face her.

"Adrien-!"

He set a hand on her shoulder. "Stay here until Ladybug and Chat Noir take care of the akuma. I'm gonna go look for other civilians."

"What?"

He made a move to get up, but found Marinette's stronger-than-anticipated hand tug him back down by the scruff of his collar. He flailed as his butt hit the ground again, but relented and faced her anyway. Her eyes were narrowed in the "threatening" way only Marinette could scowl. "Adrien! You're a model. If something happens to that pretty face of yours, your dad would have a cow!"

"Pretty?"

If Marinette registered what she was saying to him, it certainly didn't show. She shook her head and stood up. "I'll go look for Alya and search for any others. You stay here and keep your little blonde head out of trouble!"

He grunted, but grasped her hand and pulled her right back down as she'd done to him. Karma, he noted, would be in his favor. "No way. I don't know what I did to hurt you before, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt today!"

Marinette's face turned an interesting mix of pale white and pink. "A-Adrien-!"

"Please." He didn't realize what he was doing until her soft, heated cheek was in his palm, and the raven hair that stuck out in front of her ears were intermingling with his fingers. She froze, but made no move to pull away. He didn't, either. No, Plagg was right. He hated it, felt like a downright scoundrel for it, but… "I will do anything to keep you safe." He meant it.

"Adrien…" He hadn't realized how close he'd gotten, that his other hand was somewhere on Marinette and he couldn't even place it (if he had to guess, he woulda thought her waist).

No, no this was for later. Adrien pulled away and stood up, but he never broke eye contact. Marinette looked confused and flushed and disappointed, and boy did he feel the same way. It was fine, though. "Stay here. I'll find you after the akuma is gone." Then they could continue what was going to happen here, what he always imagined would be in a better lit setting with a different girl. Maybe, if he was lucky, she'd let him take her back home so he could talk to her in the peaceful presence of a bakery and not the gross occupation of an enlarged garbage can. He was a perfectionist at heart, as was his lady; it was in his blood. "I promise you."

Marinette gaped at him like a fish flopping around gasping for air, and the Chat Noir part of him inwardly laughed, but Adrien Agreste gave her his best reassuring smile and ran off to go transform.

The akuma was over with in record time. Ladybug seemed oddly focused, even downright determined to get the akuma purified and fast. Chat wasn't going to argue, he had other things he needed to be doing, and he had the feeling Ladybug was the choir he needn't preach to. Rena Rogue and Carapace joined them for the four-way fist bump, but then Ladybug was gone. Chat was the next to disappear, since Alya hadn't poked her nose out of whatever hiding place she'd scurried into to ask questions.

Marinette was right where he left her, though she had stood and was pacing in circles, seemingly talking to herself. Chat ducked into a separate alley to become Adrien once more, took a deep breath, and approached.

Marinette had her back turned to him, was mumbling to herself about something. He smirked to himself, because Marinette was acting like Marinette, and it had been such a long time. Adrien cleared his throat, and Marinette jumped.

"Adrien!"

"Why so surprised? I told you I would come back, didn't I?"

He cocked a playful brow and wiggled it at her, dangerously close to Chat Noir behavior, but not enough for Marinette to catch on. She didn't. In fact, the nervous energy she'd embodied before seemed to wheeze right out of her, leaving only the sad Marinette he'd become accustomed to as of recent. His shoulders sagged. "Marinette-"

"Adrien-"

They both stopped, eyes wide before they laughed nervously to themselves. "You go first."

Marinette cleared her throat, but she wouldn't look at him again. "Okay. Um, I wanted to… say I'm sorry for the way I've acted. You don't even know what you did, and I should have- I don't know, told you…?" Her voiced pittered off with pain. "Not that you actually did anything wrong, it's just-"

"Marinette?"

She squeaked. "Yes?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Um, sure Adrien, uh, go ahead."

He sighed and came closer, watching to be sure she didn't back away from him again. It hurt enough the first time. He wasn't sure he could handle it in this situation, not when he was about to say what he was going to say. To his relief, she didn't move, only seemed to tense. She wouldn't look at him again, except to glance at him from under her bangs. Funny, he was the one feeling like he wanted to hide. How would his lady react? Would he still call her that? Would this change how he felt about Ladybug at all? He didn't know, and it bothered him, but Marinette could not be ignored- not anymore. "You really scared me earlier, you know… when you were hiding out so close to an akuma." He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick he'd picked up who knows when. He snuck a glance at her and found blue eyes meeting green. She blushed and looked away. He sighed again. "Marinette. I don't know what I did, and I don't know why you've been avoiding me lately, but…"

"It's me, Adrien. It has nothing to do with you." She said it with so much conviction that he almost believed it. Her eyes were fierce, the way only their Everyday Ladybug's eyes could get. "I got caught up in my own stupid feelings and- and I hurt myself. You didn't do anything wrong, I just…" He watched her grip her wrist like it meant death, like her thumb was cutting her circulation off. "I let my fantasies get the best of me."

"Fantasies…" His voice dipped, his eyebrow raised "...involving me?" It was such a Chat Noir thing to do that he was almost surprised when Marinette didn't react the way Ladybug always did. Instead she went red and refused to look directly at him for the thousandth time. His heart leaped. "Oh."

"I… I know you like Kagami, and she's perfect for you. You two would be- amazing. You two would be fantastic together and I-" she shut her eyes and turned to the floor hands clenching tighter and tighter. "I just can't be around you for a little while. It hurts. I should have just told you, Adrien. I'm sorry."

Was that it? Was that what Alya and Nino knew that they wouldn't share? So much made sense now, so many scenes and memories and talks and pranks that went too far that actually came together in a neat bow where before it'd been a pile of missed signals and confusion. It was like a sucker punch to the stomach… and the brain… and the heart, oh definitely the heart. Adrien frowned.

"And I mean it when I say I want to be your friend, I really do! It's just going to take some time for me to put these feelings aside and-"

"Ya know, I've been hearing that a lot lately."

Marinette blinked, seemingly snapped out of the depressing trance she'd been in. "Huh?"

Adrien shrugged and propped his arm up on the dumpster like it was a wall or a doorframe. "Alya said it. Nino said. Heck! I'm pretty sure I said it when this whole thing started!" He laughed to himself despite not finding a whole lot of humor in the subject at hand, but Marinette seemed less amused than confused. He shrugged again. "That you needed time. I agreed at first but," his playful smile turned the tingest of sad "the thing is, I don't think I can be away from you that long."

Marinette cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy, and his Chat Noir brain had a field day with the mental comparison. He parted the dumpster's side to stand a few inches in front of her, channeling his best alter ego's suave stature and praying she wouldn't see how torn apart he was. Because he was. The last month or so had been torture for him. Not knowing how she was feeling, why she was sad, why she wouldn't talk to him, waiting for her to be akumatized.

She watched him with pensive eyes, looking ready to run from the conversation at any moment; he hoped she didn't need to. "Marinette… you're my friend. Since the day I met you, all I ever wanted was to be as close to you as possible. You were so cool and nice- and you brought cookies with you everywhere! Who wouldn't want to be your friend?" Marinette's face had fallen, even though she tried her best to smile for him. He hated that. He wanted that real smile back, even if it was nervous, even if it was that sly one that said she had something up her sleeve. Sad didn't fit Marinette, not at all. He grinned as her head ducked down to the side in resignation.

"Right…"

"But then you kissed me." Marinette startled, owlish eyes blinking up at his smirking face. He was enjoying this, maybe more than he should have been. "Sure, you said you were pranking me, and sure I was pranking you- but you kissed me! And then… and then you started avoiding me, and I didn't know why. None of our friends would tell me why. It's like you started hating me overnight." She opened her mouth to protest, and he held a hand up. "I know you don't. I knew you didn't, but I couldn't stand seeing you so sad all the time. You looked happy around the others and then… me?" She shot him a guilty pout, and he laughed. "To be honest, I'm surprised I held back as long as I did talking to you. I didn't realize just how much I liked being with you" he reached forward and cupped her hands in his pulling her towards him, this time with a purpose. She seemed startled, but she didn't pull away like last time. He rubbed his thumbs over her deceivingly soft hands. "I really wish you would have told me earlier. Maybe then I would have put two and two together with what my friend has been telling me all along."

"What" Marinette choked and swallowed hard. "What has your friend been telling you?"

Adrien snorted, thinking back on all the times Plagg floated around his room without a care in the world, yapping on and swallowing disproportionate wheels of cheese. "That I like you, that I've liked you for a really long time, that I was in denial because my heart belonged to somebody else."

"Who…?"

"It doesn't matter." Ladybug was his partner, he didn't know who she was, maybe wouldn't for a long time. Marinette was here, in front of him- and he liked her. He liked her a lot. His lady he would miss every couple of days, but he was used to it. Being apart from Marinette was borderline unbearable. Ladybug would always, always, have a special place in his heart, he'd still lay down his life for her, but he'd lay his life down for Marinette just as fast. "I like you, Marinette." The words were coming out like floods, tumbling out of his mouth like the truth had been a dam he hadn't yet broken. "And I hope I'm not too late."

Marinette wordlessly open and shut her mouth before deciding, clearly, words were not going to come with the ease at which his had, so she shook her head. He laughed to himself and smiled at her before pulling her full force into him like he'd wanted to do for over a month. Marinette squealed and set her hands in odd places at his back, unsure how to hug him. He laughed at that, too, and dug his face into her hair

(Vanilla and dough, just like he thought.)