Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the work of J. K. Rowling and Jurassic Park is the work of Michael Crichton. I hold no affiliation or ownership with these properties.

A/N: The basic premise of this story began with the first few lines. What would happen if two portkeys collided as they were regulated. But I also wanted to know how Harry would react to dinosaurs and didn't want to send him that far back in time.

If you like my usual ridiculous stories... you might enjoy this.

12 chapters and about 95,000 words. As usual, a chapter a day and it is already finished.


Portkeys were a highly regulated form of magic, according to Arthur Weasley. Hermione had, of course, researched them further after they had used one that summer to get to the Quidditch World Cup. She discovered that international portkeys required coordination between countries.

She also discovered that portkey usage was highly prolific and that it was likely that there were at least a hundred used every hour in Europe alone.

Matthew Jason was a large hulk of a Samoan born in New Zealand. He was a member of the New Zealand Quidditch Team who was heading to Iceland to represent his team at a sporting conference. He had been looking forward to the event.

The journey… not so much. An International Portkey was a nightmare, but he couldn't take a plane as he needed to take his broom and other magical artefacts.

The journey came to a near cataclysmic end near the last leg of the journey, the portkey was thrown off course as he impacted something. It was only his shear strength that allowed him to hold on to his own portkey… unfortunately the offending portkey got caught in his robes.

He crashed into the ground in the middle of the night.

"Bind him."

"But Master, that's not him."

"Then kill him."

Matthew was instantly on his feet, wand in hand, spell in transit. The tiny man went flying back into a slab of standing stone.

After a quick glance around, he fell to his knees panting as he tried to regain his breath and bearings. He eventually stood up and walked over to the man. He nearly had a heart attack as he saw a baby lying on the ground. He thought he had killed it.

Then he got a better look and decided to vomit instead.

"Wormtail! Restrain this mortal!"

The raspy and whiny voice nearly made Matthew vomit again. The 'baby' could talk. He sent out another stunner.

Silence reigned.

So… he had somehow wound up in England, based on the accents. Whoever these two morons were, they were expecting someone. They intended to kill him.

Brilliant. Now he just needed to figure out how to contact local law enforcement. It was highly unlikely he'd make it to Iceland on time.


On a beautiful, deserted, sunny beach on the coast of Mexico a young man landed with a thud and a splash of sand.

"Oh. My. God! Are you, like, okay?" Asked a female voice.

The young man looked up from his self-made crater and saw a beautiful blonde girl wearing nothing but a piece of string around her waist.

"Are you an angel?" Cedric Diggory asked in awe.


From what Harry could tell, he managed to hit three trees and a goat as he crashed back down to Earth in the black of night in a jungle during a storm. There might have been more trees… he just lost count after three. He was bounced between them like a bludger between two beaters.

The goat was sent flying away from him to land at the feet of the most terrifying thing Harry had ever seen.

"Wizards have dinosaurs?" He gasped in shock and awe as the massive Tyrannosaurus-Rex nearly swallowed the goat in one shot. "Am I supposed to kill it?" He had no idea what he was supposed to do. The previous two tasks had specific goals. Get the egg, rescue the hostage. He had been told the task this time was to get the cup.

Was this punishment for losing it? Where was Cedric?

It was tipping it down with rain and Harry was already soaked to the bone as he stood in the black of the night. Only the lightning allowed him to see the massive monster.

And the monster to see him.

Apparently a whole goat was not enough for a T-Rex.

It roared… a sound so loud that it vibrated in Harry's bones and disrupted his hearing. Harry stumbled backwards only to slide down a large slope.

The T-Rex followed and Harry quickly got up and moved behind a tree.

The T-Rex stomped after him, the tree began to creak as it bent down and craned its neck to reach Harry.

Harry simply moved around the tree.

The T-Rex was fast, but that speed was still hampered by the sturdy tree that had more than a six-foot diameter.

The T-Rex was becoming frustrated.

Harry was eyeing up another nearby tree.

A flash of lightning caused Harry to see the large smooth concrete nearby. Concrete was man-made. Man-made meant that maybe there was a wizard nearby who could save him. If there were handlers for dragons, there had to be handlers for dinosaurs.

First, he needed to lose the rampaging lizard.

He pointed his wand at the tree and set it on fire. He did the same with the ones to the sides.

Then he bolted for the concrete.

Behind him he heard the frustrated roar.

"Jesus! Kid! Over here!"

He saw a bright light at the top of the concrete wall. There was a white man holding the light.

"Is there a ladder?" Harry called up.

"We're looking for some rope." The man called down. "Listen, you might want to light more fires. The Rex doesn't like it but it also might try and go around."

Another man suddenly appeared above.

"Hey, we can't find any rope and we've lost communication with the Control Room. You need to find another way up." The man called down.

The concrete wall was extremely smooth and nearly vertical. There was no way Harry could scale it without gear. That left him searching for a way to get up.

He moved over to a football sized rock and transfigured it into a length of rope with a grappling hook. Freeform transfiguration wasn't something he was supposed to learn until the following year. Hermione had taken them through it to prepare for the tasks.

"I've got some rope and a hook. Try and catch it for me!"

"Make it quick!" They called frantically.

Harry had no idea how to throw a grappling hook. He failed five times before he accidentally sent the entire rope up the wall and out of reach.

Fortunately the two men simply lowered the rope back down.

In short order he was hauled up the wall. He then had to scale the wire fence and barbed wire.

The rain finally stopped and Harry was able to see the two men. They didn't dress like wizards. One was dressed all in black, he had black hair. He reminded him a bit of Sirius.

The other man was dressed in a blue shirt and light coloured trousers.

Both were as soaked as him. Harry still had his tournament uniform.

"What happened?" Harry demanded. "I got the cup and it throws me next to a T-Rex? What was I supposed to do about that?"

The two men looked at him cautiously. "You don't work here? Aren't you the kid of one of the workers?"

At least they could see he was a kid. Then a thought hit him.

"This isn't Britain, is it?" The men shook their heads. "You aren't wizards?"

The men shared a look. "We need to get him back to the Centre. He probably has a concussion… or some plant is making him hallucinate." The man in black advised his companion.

The other man gave a dismal laugh. "I don't disagree, Ian, but how? The cars are dead, the power is out. If that Rex figures out she can go around the fire, then the fence won't stop her."

"We'll have to walk." Ian shrugged. "The T-Rex knows the cars are here. What if it wants a rematch with the kid… hey, what's your name?"

"Harry, Harry Potter." Harry wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He was fairly certain he wasn't in England as these two men were American.

"I'm Ian Malcolm and this is Alan Grant." The man returned. "How did you create that fire?" He asked curiously.

"Magic." Harry said dryly. Screw the Statute of Secrecy and screw anyone who told him off. He was not going to be eaten by a dinosaur. He was now certain this wasn't part of the tournament and he blamed everyone involved in it for nearly making him a prehistoric snack.

"I don't suppose you have any more goats?" Harry asked.

Ian's face lit up in realisation. "The goat! It came from underground. Maybe we can get inside and hide out until help comes."

Alan nodded slowly. "Alright. I'll go and tell the kids and Gennaro. You take Harry and see if you can find an entrance."

Ian grabbed Harry by the shoulder and led him to a section of the fence where there was flat area on the other side level with them. The last time Harry saw it, there was a goat tied up.

"How do we get through the fence?" Harry asked. "Do we climb again?"

"Looks like it. Unless you happen to have a set of industrial wire clippers on you?"

So they both started to climb. Harry wanted to see if he could shrink his broom down for future dangers.

Why was he planning on being in danger again?

They soon dropped down onto the platform.

"Look for a button or a panel." Ian instructed as he proceeded to do the same.

"Erm… this was built for the dinosaur… right?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, they use it to lure the T-Rex out for the kids to see."

Harry decided to ignore the ramifications of that. "Are the T-Rexes friendly to their handlers?"

"Kid, I don't know if you noticed, but those fences we just climbed are usually electrified."

Harry stopped his search. "Why would they put the access on this side of the fence? You said the goat came up from underground. That means tunnels. Wouldn't there be an access area on the other side of the fence? The safe side?"

Ian slowly looked up at Harry. "Over the fence. Now." He said tersely before he himself ran for it.

They made it back over when Alan turned up with two kids and a guy in a shirt and tie.

"No luck?" Alan asked, his eyes never left the fence, constantly searching for the return of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"The kid pointed out that any access point would be outside the enclosure with the massive meat eater." Ian responded sardonically.

Alan looked at Harry with a raised eyebrow. He then looked at Ian. "We'll have to debate whether Hammond's people are smart enough to use that level of logic later.

"We have to move. That T-Rex will be back and Hammond said it could move at thirty miles an hour."

"How far is it to this 'centre'?" Harry asked.

"About three to four miles… in that direction." Ian nodded towards the fence the pair had just scaled.

"Bugger me." Harry muttered. "And going around?"

"I didn't see the map, but basic maths, two pi radius divided by two… about 12 and a half miles." Ian estimated.

"Are there any other Rexes or man-eating creatures on the way?" Harry asked.

"The dilophosaurs, baryonyx and proceratosaurus." The young boy piped up. "But Granddad said not all the dinosaurs were out yet."

"We should stay with the cars." The man in the shirt and tie said firmly. "Hammond will be sending one of the gas-powered jeeps to get us."

"Would they really risk that?" Harry asked. "I mean, I assume they'd have to go past or through all those things he just mentioned." He nodded to the boy.

"I'm Tim. This is Lex." The boy introduced himself and the girl. He seemed disturbingly unconcerned of the danger. The girl looked like she was about to have a panic attack.

"Hi… I'm Harry." He felt so weird introducing himself here.

"The kids are Hammond's grandchildren." Alan spoke up. "He'll send someone."

"Are those toilets?" Harry asked as he noticed a small building beyond the headlights of the two vehicles nearby. He could make out the hint of a blue sign commonly associated with public facilities.

"Yeah, probably needs some air freshener though." Alan commented with a glare at the man in the tie.

"You used the toilet?" Harry asked intently.

"I was desperate!"

Tim was clearly stifling a giggle. Lex was steaming at the man. "You abandoned us!"

Harry started walking towards the toilets.

"Kid?" Ian asked as he quickly fell in step.

"If there aren't any other buildings then that would be the best place to find the door to the tunnels or maybe an emergency phone."

"Jesus, kid. You probably just saved our lives." Ian was clearly disgusted with himself as he ran ahead.

"Hey, erm… Alan? What was that light you had earlier?"

"There are emergency flares in the jeeps." Alan nodded thoughtfully. "I'll go and gather what I can. Gennaro, come with me."

"I should stay and protect the children."

No one believed that's what he wanted and he squawked in protest as Alan dragged him away.

Harry led the other kids over to the small hut.

"Good news, bad news." Ian scowled as he met them. "I found the access door, but it is locked and pretty solid."

"What sort of lock?" Harry asked.

"A keypad."

"Maybe I can hack it?" Lex offered up hesitantly.

"It is electrical, but the power is down."

Regardless he took them to see the trap door set into the floor behind the shack. It was a two piece door like a storm cellar door, made of heavy metal.

Lex immediately moved to the keypad and examined it.

"Are there any dinosaurs around that could fit through that doorway?" Harry asked Tim and Ian.

"Dilophosaurs and velociraptors." Tim nodded.

Everyone froze as a roar ripped through the night. The T-Rex was coming back.

"Lex, any luck?" Ian asked the now frozen girl. She didn't respond. "Shit." He then moved to grab the girl and hopefully bring her out of her stupor.

Harry moved to examine the keypad. He took out his wand and tried the unlocking spell. Nothing. He tried it on the doors. Nothing.

"We have to move." Alan said harshly as he came up alone, his arms filled with flares, blankets and some large green headsets.

"Gennaro?" Ian asked gravely.

"Went running down the road when the Rex roared." Alan was clearly disgusted.

"The door is locked and solid. We can't get in." Ian explained the situation.

"Did you find a phone?"

Ian nodded. "Dead."

"That Rex is hunting us. If current theories are correct, it can track us by scent. For a long distance."

"Us or me?" Harry asked curiously. "I was the only one close to it."

"Your scent crosses paths with ours. We're all going to smell like prey." Alan answered.

The roar sounded again, closer.

"Any other options or should we make like Gennaro?" Ian asked, clearly nervous but holding his own.

"I've got two." Harry grimaced. "The first might get us through the door, the second… I'll have to stay behind and you guys run."

"Not an option, Harry." Ian said firmly.

"Everyone stand back and cover your eyes." He shooed them away and then turned and cast. "Bombarda Maxima!"

"Holy shit!"

Harry grimaced, the doors had buckled, but still held. The sound of highly taut wires snapping filled the air. Harry cast again.

They buckled more so Harry kept firing.

Eventually they caved in, but Harry was exhausted. He was manhandled into the hole by Alan as Ian dealt with the kids.

The T-Rex roared in anger as it saw her prey vanish into the hole.


Luck seemed to be on their side as the small access tunnel led to a much wider tunnel. There were even signs and maps that told them how to get through the tunnels without going back to the surface.

"So what was that? How did you blow open the doors?" Ian asked as he walked Harry down the tunnel. Grant had loaded the kids onto a small electric cart that was obviously used by workers and had driven them straight back to the visitor's centre with a promise to return for them.

"Magic." Harry replied tiredly. "Can we sit and take a break? That really took a lot out of me."

Ian looked back the way they came. They had travelled about two hundred metres. So he nodded and they sat down against the slightly curved walls with only a flare for light. There was a horrible squelching sound as Harry's thick and soaked tournament uniform compressed against the concrete floor and a pool of water appeared around him.

He quickly vanished it and dried himself and Ian with a spell.

"So… magic?"

"I was born with it. Lots of people are, but we live in secret and don't really interact with non-magicals."

"I suppose that is your wand?" He indicated the stick in Harry's hand.

"Yeah, it helps us focus our magic. We are pretty useless without them… so make sure I don't lose this or we'll have to go hand-to-hand with old Rexy."

"You're being pretty open about all this."

"I don't want to die." Harry shrugged.

"So how did you wind up in the Rex pen?"

Harry thought for a moment. "There was a problem with some sort of magical transportation. I was in Scotland one second, and then I was hurtling off and landed in America."

"Harry, this isn't America. We're on an island off the coast of Costa Rica."

"Where's that?" Harry frowned.

"You know north and south America? Costa Rica is the bit in the middle."

Harry didn't bother arguing that he wasn't far off then. He started to get to his feet. "I think I can carry on now."

They walked for a few moments before Harry spoke up. "So why are there dinosaurs on an island? Are there dinosaurs all over the world?"

"What do you know about genetics?" Ian asked.

"They define our bodies?"

"Sure, same as with every other living thing. There is a rich man, John Hammond. He realised that blood sucking insects, like mosquitos, might have been preserved over time. He found them encased in amber and used extremely dubious science to clone the dinosaurs. And then he decided to make a theme park around them."

"So there are other, erm, tourists?"

"Luckily, no. We were all called in as experts to evaluate the safety and viability of the park before it was opened to the public. We only arrived yesterday."

"So what caused the animals to escape?" Harry asked.

"We have no idea. The power went down, we think it might have been the storm but we won't know until we get back to the Control Centre."

The pair walked for about twenty minutes before they heard the whine of an electric motor. Alan had returned with another white man. This one had a gun and was dressed for safari.

He was briefly introduced as Robert Muldoon as Alan sped them back through the tunnels.

"You were lucky. Doctor Sattler and I were about to head out and get you when Grant turned up with the kids." Muldoon explained. "Nedry, one of the computer techs shutdown the whole system and loaded a virus. He's stolen some embryos and fled.

"Our other tech guy says that unless we get Nedry back, we can't retake control of the park."

"Sir, will that gun work on the Rex?" Harry asked.

"Call me Muldoon. And no, this won't even tickle it. This is in case we run afoul of the compys, dilos or raptors."

"The raptors got out?" Alan asked, clearly horrified.

"No. They're on an independent system. The power hasn't actually been cut, Nedry just hacked the system to turn off most of the fences. He needed a clear path to the docks."

"Are there any… 'friendly' dinosaurs?" Harry asked.

"Sure. The brachys, the triceratops-"

"Triceratops? I read somewhere that they were supposed to be able to defend themselves against a T-Rex."

"In theory." Alan allowed.

"Well, could we release them around this Control Centre? They could act as a defence?"

"Or a decoy." Ian added.

"Hammond would never allow it." Muldoon said with clear disgust.

"Hammond won't be alive to object if the rex gets to him." Alan growled.