A Harsh Reality.

He was so stupid, and as he tried so hard to fall asleep in his little cot he couldn't. His mind simply couldn't let him as he blamed himself for everything that had nearly happened, all because he had let one minute of total stupidity cloud his judgement.

He had forgotten the most important lessons his mother had taught him growing up in the quiet village of Ealdor, the one lesson which had more or less kept him safe and sound even if the entire world was against those of his kind.

Do not reveal you can use magic!

What did he do, he revealed his magic in a land, dangerously close to a city where just using a spell could mean your death.

The one thing he'd had drummed inside his brain, and he had cast a spell without really thinking about the consequences, and it had nearly cost Gaius his life!

And why, because he had just wanted to take a break and play a joke!

As soon as he had returned to his senses after conjuring up that stupid cloud shaped like a horse, remembering where he was, it was too late.

His magic had been seen by a busybody, another servant like himself, and she had run off to tell the King who hated magic.

Alright, granted, Merlin had never completely followed the rule his mother had constantly repeated until he could hear nothing else, he had played those games with Will, showing off a few of the tricks he was able to do with his powers which was more out of instinct at the time rather than with the kind of skill he was able to come up with thanks to the book of magic Gaius had gifted to him after he had arrived in Camelot and stopped Mary Collins from carrying out her plan to kill Arthur in revenge for what had happened to her son.

Those tricks had always been hidden. Ealdor was a small village far from Camelot, so the possibilities for a number of hiding spots where he could go and conjure up small putts of smoke, move objects with his mind inside the little hut he had grown up in with his mother until she had sent him to Gaius in the hopes he might be able to provide him with the kind of magical education which she herself could not provide were almost limitless.

Thinking about Mary was impossible without thinking what had happened to her son when he had first stepped foot into Camelot, the execution of a man who had magic; Merlin honestly had no idea what Thomas had done to get himself executed like that, but it didn't need to be anything serious at all since Uther Pendragon's desire to wipe out magic in the lands was so strong Merlin wondered why no-one had raised an army of sorcerers and gone on a rampage to make Uther pay for what he'd done.

Mary Collins had had no problem in trying to make the bastard pay for everything he had done, and truth be told if Merlin had not been summoned by the Great Dragon and told about that prophecy about Arthur, he would have gladly stood in the background and let it happen.

Uther Pendragon was the poster boy of magical hatred, but the fear of magic had festered throughout the lands of the country for centuries, propagated by the fear they had towards magic. But Uther had stoked the fires of the hatred which had long since been a disease for centuries, and that disease had reached Ealdor.

It had permeated the air, like a foul-smelling odour, spreading like the spores of a poisonous toadstool. It had infected the minds and the souls of so many of Ealdor's people to the point where the mere mention of magic would make them either froth at the mouth with rage and go off into a hateful rant, or they would make them cower in dread at the thought of an angry sorcerer attacking them.

Merlin let a deep ragged sigh leave his mouth as he thought about everything that had happened since Aredian turned up, turning the entire city upside down just to find sorcerers, only for him to be a charlatan who accused people of having magic and planting evidence against them - how else could that bracelet have turned up?

On top of that, when that servant had told the King what had happened, and Gaius had lashed out at him, Merlin had been indifferent. He had treated it as a joke, really, acting thoughtless even though he shouldn't.

Not anymore he wasn't.

Not only had Gaius nearly been executed, but Morgana had been interrogated as well; Merlin knew the nightmares Morgana frequently had were getting worse because of a different reason that had nothing to do with the potion; Merlin had taken that potion himself, and it worked all the time, so why Morgana's own nightmares didn't seem to go away, Merlin had no idea since he didn't know much about their content to form a guess himself, but at this point he was too overcome with guilt over what he had done.

The good news was with Aredian dead after he had tried taking Morgana hostage when so many magical artefacts were found in his possession and that toad had jumped out of his mouth - why people were so quick to believe people were sorcerers based on that alone, Merlin did not know - and Merlin had cast a spell to turn the knife red-hot causing him to fall out of a window after the 'Witchfinder' had stumbled back in shock.

Merlin closed his eyes and screamed mentally inside his own skull just to allow him to sleep.

He wondered how Gaius was after his ordeal. The ageing physician had looked awful following what had happened, and it was all because of him. What was even worse was that Gaius had confessed to being a sorcerer just to keep Merlin safe!

As he struggled to get some sleep, Merlin also had time to reflect on other matters. It was at times like this, times where he was reminded once more of just how dangerous Camelot was to a sorcerer, to a druid, that Merlin wondered if his mother had made a mistake in sending him here, straight into the wolf's den.

When the Great Dragon told him of his destiny to help guide and protect Arthur, he had not believed it, especially since Arthur had been nothing more than an arrogant bully who delighted in hounding and harassing people who just wanted to live their lives.

And although Merlin had grown to like Arthur, and the prince had improved and grown as a person into somebody whom Merlin had grown to like, the warlock was unsure at times if magic would ever be properly free again.

But he refused to give up his dreams. He wanted magic to be free again. He wanted Camelot to stop its relentless vendetta against sorcerers, wanted the knights and the King to stop hunting down the druids like they were animals no better than the deer or the rabbits Arthur continually went out to hunt. He had done everything he could, put up with so much, because the Great Dragon had promised him it was the only way for his dreams to come true, and for most part Arthur's personality was evolving every single day, which gave Merlin the hope he needed that by the time Arthur was ready to ascend to the throne and become King of Camelot when Uther was either dead or something else happened to him, the prince would use his own mind and his inherent fairness to see magic was not the enemy, unless of course something magical happened to Uther, and since the current King was so aggressive towards sorcerers and other forms of magic, it was possible and the hate Uther felt towards sorcerers would be passed onto Arthur.

If that happened….

Merlin took a deep breath and turned on his side, hoping for sleep.