So fight scenes are hard. And the Magicarp Song is hilarous and great for wasting time!

So about the kids: the biggest Problem I have with the Transformers Prime SG fics I've found, was that Jack, Miko, and Raf are still the kids the Decepticons aid. When the SG comics clearly state that EVERYONE is opposite, including humans. That means SG Jack, Miko, and Raf are horrible people, because, no matter how annoying you find Miko, she and the boys are great human beings. So obviously, we need to find bad kids to be our good Decepticon allies. Vince was obvious, he was a jerk and involved with illegal activities. Sierra is more of a guess, but the fact that she wanted nothing to do with Jack until he was doing illegal street races is a big red flag as to her morals. Now, Sephie is from the comics, but in Speed Metal, Sierra has a blonde friend who wears pink and THAT is Prime!verse Sephie.

"Take care of yourself!" screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice's hair with both her hands. "Something's going to happen!"
And then (as Alice afterwards described it) all sorts of things happened in a moment.
Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There

"I'm sure whatever you have to say will be greatly revealing," Megatron told Optimus, his voice dry as a desert. Then he reached up and disconnected the Prime's call.

"Did you just hang up on him?" Cliffjumper asked incredulously.

Megatron just smirked as the com panel started to beep again. The Decepticon leader deliberately ignored it.

"What if he has important information?"

"Of course he has important information," Megatron rolled his eyes. "However, he's not going to tell that information to me. And I'm in no mood to pick apart Prime's lies and innuendos in the hope of finding some kernel of truth that may or may not have been said. Especially when it's no much easier to frag him off by doing nothing at all."

For once, Cliff found he couldn't really argue with Megatron's logic. Except for one detail. "Aren't you worried about retaliation?" he asked. Before everything twisted backwards, Optimus Prime had always agreed to Megatron's discourses, hoping the violence would stop, if only momentarily, if he humored the warlord. Cliffjumper had privately thought his Prime had worried about what Megatron would do if he was ignored, as well.

But now, this new Megatron shrugged. "I did, once," he admitted. "But I have since learned that the Prime will do as he wills, and nothing I say or do will dissuade him from his course. I can only plant myself in front of him, so that he must go through me to accomplish his goals. And I have found I do not need to speak to him to do that."

With that, Megatron turned back to the monitor and activated it. The Prime looked fit to be tied as Megatron smiled at him. "Optimus, I've never told you just how much I love our little talks," Megatron informed his furious opponent.

"Megatron—" was all Optimus managed to spit out before Megatron hung up on him again.

The Decepticon turned to his stunned Autobot guest and gave him a pleased smile. "Also, my new method of dealing with Optimus' slag makes me feel incredibly happy," he admitted.

There were three things in this life that Starscream knew to be true: Arcee's beauty was second only to her insanity, and she was an extremely dangerous opponent.

Especially in cases where Starscream was trying to limit collateral damage and she wasn't. The Seeker grit his teeth as the two-wheeler kicked him in the ribs before she whirled and fired at the organics who had come out in force to defend themselves. Frankly, they were just getting in the way and making his job harder.

Starscream rolled out of the way just in time to miss Arcee's blaster, and used the momentum to transform and take to the skies. The air was the Seeker's greatest ally and weapon; and he needed all the advantages he could get.

Luckily, a few strafing runs were all he needed to distract Arcee from blowing up the natives in favor of finding cover. Starscream chased her down, transforming again in midair and tackling her to the ground. He struck at her with his claws, trying his very best to gut her, but the Autobot was ready for him. She held up her blaster in time to block his claws, and the two suddenly found themselves locked in a battle of sheer strength.

"You should have quit while you were ahead," Starscream snarled at his opponent as his superior leverage was giving him a severe advantage, and Arcee's arms were weakening. The Autobot snarled at him, but then her optics glanced behind him and she smiled again.

"Hey, Starscream!"

Bulkhead's voice was so unexpected that Starscream froze for a moment. It was all the Autobot needed.

"Incoming!" Bulkhead laughed as he flung Ravage from his own body, the cat snarling as he flew through the air and connected solidly with Starscream, knocking both Decepticons away from Arcee and allowing her to regain her footing.

Ravage quickly regained his feet, giving Starscream a genuine smile. "Oh, hai, Starz," he greeted his commanding officer. "Did yu come 2 halp meh wif da fites?"

"Hello, Ravage," Starscream replied, rolling his eyes even as he aimed his rockets at the two Autobots. Bulkhead looked a little scratched up—pun intended, Ravage had really worked him over—but neither he nor Arcee were anywhere close to being down for the count.

It took nearly twenty minutes before Optimus stopped trying to call Megatron. In that time, the silence on the Harbinger was only broken by the incessant ringing on the com channel, and occasionally by Megatron answering just long enough to mock the Prime before hanging up again. The longer this pattern went on, the more furious Optimus was each time Megatron answered, and that in turn made Megatron's mood improve exponentially each time he saw the Prime's face.

One side effect of this which Cliffjumper greatly appreciated, is the fact that Megatron seemed to have completely forgotten about interrogating him. The Autobot felt like he'd gotten a stay of execution. But finally, the com unit went silent, and Megatron sighed, a happy smirk featured on his face.

"Alright, I've had my fun," he informed the room in general, before turning to Cliffjumper. "I don't suppose you know anything about computers, hacking, or Prime's plan in general?"

Cliffjumper blinked at the sudden statement, but found himself shaking his head. "I'm mostly just the guy you turn to when you need to punch someone really hard," he admitted.

"Yeah, me too," Megatron replied, looking thoughtful. "Normally, Soundwave would have already discovered everything the Prime was up to by the time Optimus decided he was tired of trying to bait me. But since I have no idea where he is, we need a plan B."

"I can help!" a small, enthusiastic voice popped up. "I know everything there is to know about computers!"

Both Cybertronians looked down, to see a very excited Sephie waving up at them.

"What the frag?" was Megatron's eloquent statement.

"You're one of those kids from earlier," Cliffjumper realized. "Sandy…no, Sophie. Sophie, how'd you get back on this ship?!"

The human stomped her foot. "It's Sephie, and I never left," she snapped.

"I saw you leave. Soundwave practically booted you out through the ground bridge," Cliffjumper argued.

Sephie huffed and rolled her eyes. "I snuck back through before it closed," she explained. "It wasn't hard. None of you robots ever look down."

"Who the frag are you?" Megatron asked, still trying to catch up.

"I'm Sephie Beller, and you are the coolest thing I've ever seen," Sephie gushed at the Decepticon.

Megatron studied her for a second, then nodded. "You are by far my favorite organic," he finally stated.

"Yes," Sephie whispered, fist pumping with both hands. Then she cleared her throat and did her best to look professional. "Anyway, like I said, there isn't a computer on the planet that I can't hack."

"That doesn't mean you can hack into the Autobots' computers," Megatron pointed out.

"Are they on the planet?" Sephie asked, her hands on her hips.

"They are."

"Then I can hack them."

Megatron's smirk turned softer and more fond as he looked down at the defiant little human. "I really do like this one," he informed Cliffjumper. "Alright, Sephie Beller. We shall do this your way."

"Really? Yes! You won't regret this," Sephie gushed, all but jumping into the hand Megatron offered to her. The Decepticon leader carefully carried her to one of the computer monitors and set her down next to it. Sephie hummed, then dug into her backpack and pulled out a laptop of her own.

"It might take a bit for me to figure out how to connect to your systems," she warned. "But once I figure out Cybertronian computer codes, nothing can stop me."

"Swap opponents," Starscream ordered his subordinate as he shot a rocket at Bulkhead. The Wrecker was much quicker than he appeared and hit the dirt just in time for the weapon to fly harmlessly over him. The Seeker barely had time to process before Bulkhead was back up and swinging his wrecking ball at Starscream's helm.

The Decepticon did an impressive flip to dodge the ball, and darted in close to his opponent so Bulkhead could no longer use his weapon of choice.

"If you think Ravage's scratches were bad, you haven't seen anything yet!" the Seeker snarled, before gouging the Autobot brand on Bulkhead's chest plate.

The Autobot grunted in pain, but moved sideways in time to ensure the blow, while deep, wasn't fatal. Bulkhead used the same momentum to punch Starscream so hard the Seeker toppled backwards. Starscream rolled as soon as he hit the ground, just before Bulkhead's wrecking ball nearly flattened him into paste.

Meanwhile, Ravage was most offended to note that Arcee apparently considered him a nonissue, and was ignoring him in favor of making potshots at the humans. The cat snarled, then rushed forward and wound himself around her legs in a way that all cats, no matter their origin, instinctively know. Arcee lost her balance and fell flat on her backside; Ravage clawed her face and danced away before she could retaliate.

Arcee touched the dripping energon on her face and her optics burned with hatred towards the Casseticon. She turned her weapon on Ravage and started to shoot wildly. Ravage nimbly dodged and two machine gun turrets appeared on his shoulders; he used these to return fire.

Meanwhile, Starscream all but danced around his own dangerous opponent. He nimbly dodged another blow from Bulkhead's wrecking ball; a quick slice from his claw nimbly disconnected the chain, leaving the Autobot's favorite weapon useless. Bulkhead didn't even slow down. He charged the Decepticon, swinging his fists.

Starscream dodged the first few blows, but he was tiring and the Autobot was just getting warmed up. Wreckers had always been among the most dangerous of the Autobot forces; and Bulkhead was no exception. Though their raw speed, sheer gutsiness, and brute strength were fierce, what truly made them dangerous was their intelligence.

Bulkhead faked a swing to the left, and when Starscream darted right to dodge, the Autobot was waiting. Starscream gasped when he felt the Wrecker grab his wing; he scratched at Bulkhead's wrist in blind terror but it did no good. The Autobot smirked at him and pulled.

Blinding agony wracked Starscream's processors as he felt part of his wing disconnect from his body. A wail escaped his lips without his permission, and the knowledge of how badly he was hurting only made Bulkhead more eager.

"Starz!" Ravage screamed, abandoning his own fight to charge Bulkhead. The wrecker, the trauma of his last encounter with Ravage not two minutes ago still fresh in his mind, let go of his victim and took an unwitting step back. Starscream collapsed to the ground, error messages and pain causing him to spasm slightly as his torn wing sparked, and Ravage positioned himself above his commander's body, snarling and puffing himself up to look more threatening.

He liked Starscream, and Soundwave's last request had been for Ravage to take care of the Seeker.

The Autobots would pay.

But neither Autobot looked impressed with Ravage's threatening demeanor. They were done playing games, and a damaged Seeker and a Casseticon were no threat to them. With a smirk, both Autobots turned their weapons on their enemies…

…Only to be blown backwards by explosions so big it nearly dented their armor.

"What?!" Arcee shrieked, as the Autobots looked to find the source of the new threat. They both met the eyes of a determined Commander Leland Bishop, who stood in front of what could only be described as a platoon armed with rocket launchers.

"Fire two," the Commander ordered, and another wave of rockets launched at the two Autobots.

Most human weapons were no threat to the Cybertronians. Even a single rocket launcher did hardly any damage. But as wave after wave continued to fire, the next line firing as soon as the first launched and ducked out of the way, the Autobots could soon feel their armor buckling.

"Let's get out of here!" Bulkhead hollered, transforming and retreating without waiting for his partner's confirmation.

Arcee grit her teeth. She had no desire to return to the base without an Autobot's spark to show for her efforts. But as error messages started to appear, she realized she had no choice. "Looks like the worthless little organics have some teeth after all," she hissed, before retreating. Hopefully Optimus would consider that knowledge worth having, and delay the punishment she knew was coming for abandoning her post.

Ravage kept his weapons armed until both Autobots were well out of sight. Then he seemed to shrink in on himself, his gun turrets disappearing into his body. He curled around Starscream and mewed in distress at the obvious pain the Seeker was in.

"I'm alright," Starscream assured the cat, giving it a shaky pat on the head. In truth, Starscream wasn't sure he could be repaired without an actual Cybertronian medic; but as there were none worth trusting on this planet he would survive and make due.

The two Decepticons looked up towards their unorthodox new allies as Commander Bishop walked purposefully to them. "Status?" he asked them.

Starscream considered. "Perhaps a little worse for wear, but neither of us are in any danger of offlining," he admitted. "I think we drastically underestimated you. You saved both our sparks today, and I thank you for it."

Bishop gave him a wry grin. "You gave us enough time to arm ourselves and get in formation," he replied. "And being underestimated just makes it more satisfying when you win."

"Ai luvs mah hoomans," Ravage purred.

"According to this, Optimus Prime is making an army out in the desert," Sephie informed her new robot friends.

Far from being impressed at her skills, Cliffjumper just looked confused. "Is that written in human language?" he asked as he looked over the information. "Did you translate this?"

"Um, no?"

"Then why do the Autobots have their info written in your language, and not ours?"

Megatron simply huffed as he inspected his weapons. "Because Optimus knows my hacker is not here, and that I will need local help in order to get to his information now."

"So you're saying this is a trap," Cliff pointed out.

"Of course it's a trap. Do you think Optimus would try so hard to get my attention if a trap wasn't involved?" The Decepticon leader rolled his eyes and continued his preparations.

"But if it's a trap, why are you going?" Sephie asked.

"Because if there is an army out there, and I don't go, he will turn that army on the populous until I do show up. If there is no army, there are still enough Autobots on this planet that he thinks he can trap and defeat me. And if I do not show up, he will set those Autobot on the populous until I do," Megatron explained. "As I said, when Optimus decides on a course of action, there is little I can do, save to stand in his way. I cannot do that hiding away on this ship."

"Well, you're not going to do it alone," Cliffjumper snapped, stepping towards the Decepticon.

Megatron gave him a Look. "There is every chance we will not be coming back from this," he warned.

"Yeah, I know," Cliff confirmed. "And pit, I know we hate each other. But I'm not going to let anyone cause harm to this planet or its people."

Something flashed in Megatron's optics for a moment; but the Decepticon said nothing. He simply nodded and moved aside so Cliffjumper could walk through the doorway with him.

"Great! Giant robot fight matches! Count me in!" Sephie cheered, as she looked for a way to get off the counter and onto the floor.

"That's not a good—" Cliffjumper started, but Megatron cut him off.

"Actually, I need your help again," the Decepticon Leader said smoothly. "As you know, Soundwave is missing. I need you to see if the Autobots are holding him prisoner, and if so, where he is. They likely don't want this information getting out; so it will be much harder to find than the information Optimus wanted us to get. Can you help me?"

Sephie blinked, the beamed with pride at being asked for aid. "I told you, there's no computer on this planet I can't hack," she informed Megatron. "If the Bots have your boy, I'll know about it before you get back!"

"Thank you Sephie," Megatron smiled as he and Cliffjumper left the room and headed for the docking bay.

"You know there's no way she can find him," Cliff said conversationally. "It will take years of study before she can comprehend our language. She won't be able to understand anything she finds."

"Likely not," Megatron admitted. "But it makes her feel like she's contributing to something useful here, where it is safe, and is not trying to follow us to where we are going."

Cliffjumper froze for a second at the realization that Megatron had just smiled and conned a little human girl to her face, right in front of him, and neither of them had realized it. "Son of a glitch," he muttered, before rushing to catch up to the Decepticon.