Hi, everyone, I'm SGCongurl, and welcome to my first official attempt at FanFiction. And, surprise, surprise, it's SG!Prime. Prime is the one Transformers series I both love, and that has no real official SG counterpart. I've read lots of SG!Prime fictions, and they are great, but I've never found just the one I'm looking for. They are either oneshots, super dark, or do an Arachnid-is-now-Arcee and will act just like her and do everthing Arcee did. I was looking for something different; something more like the original SG comics, where everybody had their own personalities and motivations, things didn't actually work the same as in real world canon, and while dark, also had stories like Ravage adding Autobots to his friends list on Yatter because it made him feel validated, or their human allies channeling Kevin MacCalaster and Home Alone'ing the Autobots' afts. I'm not even sure I can pull this off. But I'm gonna try!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers Prime, or even Transformers Shattered Glass. But writing stories about them makes me happy!

"I know what you're thinking about," said Tweedledum: "but it isn't so, nohow."
"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."
Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There

Cliffjumper had been in a lot of tight spots. But he'd never been in a spot tighter than this. He was badly wounded and leaking energon everywhere, captured, barely able to stand…No, he didn't think he was getting out of this one.

In front of him was Starscream, second in command of the evil Decepticons. He looked at Cliff with a viscous glint in his optics. And Cliffjumper knew in that moment that the Seeker fully intended to kill him here and now. He could go down fighting, or on his knees. But he was going down. There was no way Cliff could defend himself, or physically injure his enemies in any way.

Emotional damage it was, then.

"Scream, it's been a while," Cliffjumper gasped out, trying to force a smirk. "Where's your master?"

The Seeker's wings flickered, and his optics darkened. At least Ol' Screamy made inflicting emotional damage easy. Starscream sneered, and moved, his talons faster than the optics could see. Cliff braced himself and refused to allow his optics to close. He'd stare his murderer in the face until the bitter end…

He felt the claws hit him, starting to penetrate his armor, and then the world…shifted. He couldn't explain why, or how but everything changed in a moment. The Nemesis bridge flickered and vanished, then reappeared again, and then everything was different. Instead of dark and sinister, everything was now a calming cream color. The Vehicons had all disappeared, leaving only Starscream and Soundwave on the bridge. They were no longer in front of him, but several feet away, not even looking at him anymore.

They were completely different colors.

"The frag?" Cliff murmured, before his injuries finally caught up to him and he collapsed.

"By Unicron!" he heard Starscream shout, before someone was touching him, checking his pulse. "He's alive. Soundwave, find me a med kit, now!"

Cliffjumper tried to speak, but his body was falling into stasis. Whatever was going on, he wasn't going to be around much longer to worry about it.

"How did he get on the ship?" he heard Starscream ask, before the darkness fell and he knew no more.

When Cliffjumper woke up again, he looked like a pincushion with all the wires and energon drips stuck in him. Looked like ol' Cliff had beaten the odds again. Ratchet would have him up and revving in no time. He couldn't wait to tell Arcee about that crazy hallucination he'd had. She'd fuss at him, but secretly she'd think it was hilarious, since he's none the worse for wear.

"I see you're awake."

He knew that voice. That wasn't a friendly voice. Cliff looked to his left to see Crazy Colors Starscream looking at him sternly, his arms crossed as he sat next to the medical berth. Frag. Not a hallucination, then.

The Seeker looked nearly harmless in his white-and-gold color scheme, with hints of green on his helm and peds. His optics were blue, but his Decepticon symbol was the same. Off to the side Soundwave was watching him warily, his chassis now a friendly shade of sunshiny yellow with the most Primus-awful, optic searing, bright neon green highlights on his chest and in pulsating lines along his chassis. His 'Con symbol was also bright red, and clashed so horribly with the rest of his color scheme that Cliff just knew this was a new—and highly effective—method of torture.

"Nice paintjob, Soundwave," Cliff's glossa said before his processor fully knew what was happening. "Really brings out your eyes."

Starscream blinked at him, the stern look melting into confusion. "Do you…know each other?" he asked, sounding almost hesitant. Soundwave shrugged and shook his helm. Starscream frowned, then seemed to shake himself out of his confusion, looking even sterner. "Your insignia implies you're an Autobot, so who are you and how did you get on this ship?"

It was Cliffjumper's turn to blink in confusion. "You brought me here."

"I did no such thing!" Starscream shouted at him, giving him a killer processor ache as the Seeker stood up, flailing his arms as he continued to shout. "I would never bring an Autobot aboard this ship! We're supposed to be in hiding—what kind of fragging moron would bring the enemy to his ship when they're in hiding? That's just asking to be discovered, and I don't think I like your tone, you…"

And as if this cycle wasn't crazy enough, Starscream actually stopped himself from ranting, closing his optics and taking a deep intake. After a few moments, he addressed Cliffjumper again, sounding completely calm and collected. "I do not know you. Soundwave has no recollection of any bot matching your description. You have seemingly committed no war crimes to speak of, which is remarkable considering your…alliance. The only information we have on you is that you are an Autobot. While that is more than enough to be wary of you, it is not grounds to convict you. By Decepticon law, you are innocent until proven guilty, and so I feel I have no choice but to allow you free range of this ship. But do not mistake this for weakness. Soundwave will monitor your location at all times, and if you try to leave this ship, contact anybody, or sabotage anything, I will blow your head off. Understood?"

Frag. New Starscream didn't yell. He wasn't acting threatening. He was completely relaxed and had the same tone as someone who was speaking of the weather. He wasn't sneering, or trying to act dominating. He maintained eye contact and simply told Cliff what was going to happen with the calm authority of a mech who was used to being obeyed.

It was the scariest thing Cliffjumper had ever seen, and after centuries of war, that was saying something. His words failed him completely, and he simply nodded.

Starscream studied him for a long moment, then gave him a friendly smile that made everything seem so much worse. "Well, then. Welcome to the Harbinger. I am Air Commander Starscream, second-in-command and temporary acting leader of the Decepticon Alliance. To whom have I the pleasure of addressing?"

It had been two weeks of Earth time. Cliffjumper had spent most of that time healing, so he hadn't been able to figure out how to escape. He hadn't figured out how everything had suddenly turned so wrong.

"LOL Ai luv yu, Starz~"

"Would you stop that? I'm trying to stop the navigation system from overloading and killing us all, this isn't the time for you to suddenly decide we need a Cuddle Commander Day! Why the frag did you decide on a Cuddle Commander Day, and how did you get it on the official calendar? Get away from me, frag it!"

He hadn't figured out what was wrong with the Cons. Cliff checked, and sure enough, Starscream was on his back, performing menial labor on the ship's systems, and a white Casseticon named Ravage was trying to curl up on his legs. Starscream was trying to work and kick Ravage off of him at the same time.

"Soundwave! Get your symbiont!" Starscream snapped.

"Yu ar mai favrit, an stuffs," Ravage purred. "Iz on yur feats, Starz."

"And my name is not STARS!"

Soundwave looked up from the datapad he ha been reading, inspecting the scene with a critical optic. Starscream had apparently given up on dislodging Ravage, and had gone back to repairing the ship, holding himself as still as possible so as not to disturb the white cat, who had curled up in a ball on his legs, happily purring. Soundwave hummed in contentment, before returning to his paper. Cliff could clearly see the spy was reading a colection of human newspaper comics.

How had this become his life?

But, this did seem to be a good opportunity to explore. He didn't think for one moment that Soundwave wasn't watching his every movement. But neither 'Con seemed to care about restricting said movement so long as he didn't try to leave, break anything, or contact anyone, just like Screamer had promised.

"Get off me, Ravage," Starscream muttered as he carefully extracted himself from under the console. Ravage ignored him with all the grace of well, a cat, and instead of flying off the handle ranting about his authority, Starscream just sighed and scratched Ravage's ears. Ravage gave a happy squeak and nudged Starscream's hand for more pets. Screamer's mouth quirked into a half smile.

Frag this. This was wrong on every conceivable level and Cliff wasn't going to hang around and watch it. He stood up and left with all the dignity he could muster.

As he walked through the ship, Cliffjumper was struck by how, well, empty it was. Besides Starscream, Soundwave, and Ravage, he hadn't seen a single soul on board. The ship was completely deserted, and not a Vehicon in sight. Cliff was certain that once he had healed, he'd be more than able to overpower the three cons and make his escape. He was more than a little bit worried that whatever had happened to the Cons might have affected his friends. And besides, Arcee must be totally nuts by now. Cliff knew more than anyone that she wouldn't be able to handle the death of another partner, not like that. Not because she was a few seconds too slow to arrive with backup. Scrap no, he had to figure out how to make it back without dying horribly. And that meant he had to bide his time and figure out what made New Scream and New Wave tick.

It took less than two days for Cliffjumper to be 100% sure he knew exactly what made the two 'Cons tick. Nothong but concentrated, pure, unadulterated insanity. Starscream and Soundwave had put streamers and balloons all around the bridge, as well as a large banner that read "Congratulations! It's a girl!" with the second sentence half-heartedly scribbled over. Soundwave had a Kazoo, of all things, and the tune 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" was being played on it. Cliffjumper didn't even want to know how Soundwave had gotten a Kazoo their size.

Cliffjumper eyed the decorations, the smiling 'Cons, and the oil cake that had the words 'Thanks for Being Decent' scribbled on it and wished he was trapped with normal Decepticons who tortured you in the normal way.

"What." He didn't even have the energy to make it a question.

"Cliffjumper," Starscream started in what was obviously a rehearsed speech. "These last few weeks you have been a model prisoner. You have kept your word and have not tried to escape, harm anyone on the ship, or behave like an Autobot in any way, shape, or form. Soundwave and I just wanted to show you how much we appreciate your courtesy. You are without a doubt the best prisoner we have ever had."

Soundwave threw a handful of confetti in the air and the song 'Everybody Dance Now!" started to blast out of his speakers. Ravage wound himself around Cliffjumper's legs as if he belonged there.

The whole thing made Cliff want to punch Starscream in the face, just for the principle of the thing. But that would make him lose his advantage. And besides, after five million years of war and rationing, he suddenly realized he really would do just about anything for a slice of that oil cake. So he tried to smile as best he could and look as much like a harmless prisoner as possible.

He'd never been so humiliated in his entire life, but frag if it wasn't good oil cake.

He wasn't halfway through his piece when an alarm started to blast through the ship. Cliff was instantly on alert, ready to jump into action the moment it would benefit him.

"Soundwave, report," Starscream ordered, ignoring Cliffjumper entirely. Looks like oil cake wasn't the only reward for lulling 'Cons into a false sense of security. Soundwave tapped one of the monitors, causing Screamy to inspect it critically.

"Scrap, they're attacking the natives," Starscream snarled, actually sounding upset about it. Pit, he actually might be upset; he'd been acting crazy enough for it recently. "I'd hoped if we went dark and acted as if we weren't on planet, they'd consider the organics beneath their notice. But it looks like that's not the case. Prepare a ground bridge."

Soundwave turned to the console and activated the bridge, which sprang to life next to Starscream. The Air Commander paused for a moment, biting his lower lip. "Soundwave. There are only two of us, and Ravage, of course, and we know there are at least five of them on the planet. To say nothing of the drones they use as cannon fodder. It's most likely that we're going to be quickly overwhelmed, and probably offlined. So I'm not ordering you to come with me. And I'd understand if you would want to stay behind."

Soundwave was silent for a long moment. And then, for the first time ever, Cliffjumper heard him speak. "I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."1

Starscream looked incredibly sad. "I'm sorry, Soundwave, but I still don't understand what you're trying to say."

Soundwave huffed, then turned to the ground portal. "This. Is. Sparta!"2 he cried, before leaping through.

"Soundwave! Frag it, wait for me!" Starscream shrieked, before diving after the obviously-even-crazier-than-he-seemed spymaster.

"I iz in yur spaes brij, fieting yur d00dz," Ravage giggled—yes, giggled—as he followed the other two Cons. And that left Cliffjumper alone, unguarded, next to an operational ground bridge.

"You know, I don't mind if I do," he informed nobody in particular, before diving into the bridge.

He emerged in the middle of a deserted highway, in the midst of a free for all between Soundwave, Ravage, and Starscream, and…what appeared to be Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead, as well as several Vehicons. Just like the Cons, the 'Bots were colored differently, and Cliff had a really bad feeling about this whole thing. He'd seen just enough human science fiction movies to be completely unsure which side he was supposed to be on right now, and that was never a good thing in the heat of battle. That didn't stop him from deciding to body press the nearest Cybertronian-it vagely looked like Bumblebee?-and then slamming Starscream with a spinning knife edge chop when he got too close.

Maybe Cliff wasn't the best when it came to big, philosophical debates like whose side he should take right now. He knew the other Autobots would have held back until they could be sure who they should help. But Cliffjumper was a simple bot with simple pleasures. He'd been fighting bots for no good reason way before this war started, and he'd keep fighting pointless fights long after it ended. He like brawling, okay? Primus could sort 'em all out when he was done.

But then he saw that there were three very squishable human children caught up in the middle of all this chaos. And he knew that the inhabitants of this world were under Autobot protection. If he ignored them, he would have visons of Optimus' Face of Disaproval for days, and Cliff hated that face. It took the fun right out of mindless violence. So Cliff sighed deeply, kneed Maybe Bulkhead in the lugnuts so the big guy wouldn't forget him, and grabbed the kids. Apparently, humans all screamed really loudly when touched, who knew? But Cliff shrugged and all but dove back through the ground bridge, since there was no cover for squishy people within fifty miles. Crazy flat Earth landscape.

Well, that was probably the shortest and most unique escape attempt ever attempted in the history of Cybertron. But he now had valuable intel: Whatever had happened to the Cons had probably happened to the Bots, and humans screamed really, really loud.

"Would you stop that? I'm rescuing you," Cliff informed his new human companions.

"Rescuing us? You robots just attacked us out of nowhere and then abducted us!" screamed one, a male with dark red hair and freckles.

"I know, it's so cool!" cheered one of the two girls, a blonde who obviously had a deep appreciation of the color black, as she wore it almost exclusively, even on her lips. She was a good head shorter than the other two children.

The last girl looked like she was in shock. But at least it was quiet shock, and the screaming had stopped. Her hair was red, like the male's, but a much lighter shade. It almost looked orange, really. She wore it in a ponytail, and now she was hyperventilating. Why was she hyperventilating? What part of 'I rescued you' did she not understand?

"Listen, I'm not with the attacking ones," Cliff tried to explain. "I'm with the rescuing ones. Um, whichever those were. It's complicated."

"Right. Well, how about I uncomplicate it? If you're really trying to help us, take us home. Now."

"Sure. I can do that," Cliffjumper said agreeably. "Where do you live?"

"We can't tell giant killer robots where we live!" Ponytail girl suddenly remembered how to speak just in time to be unhelpful.

"Well, I can't take you home unless I know where that is," Cliffjumper replied sensibly. Behind him, the 'Cons emerged from the ground bridge, all looking slightly worse for wear, but not seriously damaged. Starscream looked like he was having trouble deciding if he wanted to gut him or thank him, but either way, Cliff knew he wasn't going to get another chance to escape for a long time.

Finally, though, Starscream's optics flicked to the children, and he gave them a reassuring smile. "I'm glad Cliffjumper was able to rescue you, younglings. I am Air Commander Starscream, Acting Head of the Decepticon Alliance. This is Soundwave, our Head of Communications, and his Symbiont, Ravage. You've already met Cliffjumper, so might I have your names?"

The three kids looked at each other for a long moment, before the boy took a protective stance in front of the girls. "I'm Vince. That's Sierra and Sephie. What are you and where did you come from?"

Soundwave stepped forward, wiggling his fingers at Vince. "Hey. Take it easy, man. Over here. The pile of rocks waving at you. Here. Yeah, I'm actually a thing. I'm a being.3 "

"Please excuse Soundwave. He hasn't really been himself since we crash landed on your planet. But while I'm not sure about that pile of rocks nonsense, he is correct in that we are sentient beings. We are autonomous robotic beings from the planet Cybertron. Our home was destroyed after centuries of civil war. The survivors are spread out amongst the stars. Several of your earth months ago, we intercepted a message from the leader of the enemy faction." Starscream pushed a button on a console near him, and a holographic image of Optimus Prime appeared before them.

Cliffjumper's tanks churned at the malevolent looking, red optics of his leader as the mech's deep voice rumbled. "This is Optimus Prime to any surviving Autobots taking refuging among the stars. We are here. We are waiting."

"There's more coming?" Vince asked in horror.

"Waiting for what?" Sierra added.

"I am not sure," Starscream admitted. "Though I admit it's foolish, we had hoped that the Prime merely wanted his faction to stop the fighting, to settle down on a new home in peace. But with these recent actions, that does not appear to be the case."

"Yeah, well, yes! I am angry! You know, I'm getting totally screwed over here. The deal was that if I won the Hunger Games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace. But now, you wanna kill me again!"4 Soundwave interrupted, his arms waving wildly as he ranted.

Vince and Sephie gave each other a bewildered look. "Are you…quoting Johanna Mason?" Vince finally asked.

"I thank you for your voices: thank you: Your most sweet voices,"5 Soundwave somberly replied.

Starscream's wings drooped behind him. "Right, as I said, Soundwave and I ended up crash landing on your planet when we came to investigate the transmission. Soundwave was badly damaged in the fall and well, he's been like this ever since. I hardly understand what he's trying to tell me anymore, or even if he's still mentally competent."

"Who do you think you're messin' with, you dumb animal? My mental facilities are twice what yours are, ya pea brain! "6

"Ookay, not that this isn't fascinating, but can we get back to 'Why are you on our planet and will you please leave now'?" Vince certainly didn't appear to be a fan of giant robots squatting on his home planet. Sephie looked like she was about to start arguing with him, and Sierra looked like she was still in shock.

"If you do not want us here, the Decepticons are more than willing to leave your planet in peace," Starscream replied. "However, I cannot say the same for the Autobots, and with that transmission, more Cybertronians from both factions are bound to continue to arrive on your planet."

"So if you leave, we're still fighting evil space robots, is that what you're saying?" Vince looked angry. But scrap, if aliens from another world brought their civil war blood feud to his planet, Cliff would probably be angry, too.

"But if you stay, you can help us fight them off, right?" Sephie blurted out.

"Seph, no," Vince hissed.

"We would do our best," Starscream vowed, looking oddly somber as he looked Sephie right in the eyes. "We will protect your world and your people until our sparks fade and all are one."

Sephie fidgeted, feeling the weight of Starscream's conviction. Even Vince seemed to be taken aback, losing his hostility somewhat at the Decepticon's vow to protect them with his life.

Cliffjumper still wasn't 100% sure he was making the right choice. But he did know one thing. "Soundwave's right," he spoke up, causing everyone to look at him. "No matter what side is the right one, we were all promised that if we won, we could live in peace. Instead, our planet's uninhabitable and we simply moved to the next one, and we're still fighting and killing each other. It never ends. And I'll stop that from happening to your world, no matter what faction I have to put down to do it."

Starscream looked at Cliffjumper for a long, charged moment. Then he smiled and gave the Autobot a small nod. And then Ravage jumped on his shoulders and nearly bowled the Air Commander over.

"Oh, Hai, Hoomans! Yu can petz meh naow?" Ravage called, waving at the three children with a large white paw. Sierra automatically waved back, still looking more than a little stunned.

"Ravage! Get off me you walking scrapheap!" Starscream shrieked.

1 Rick Blane, Casablanca
2. King Leondas, 300
3. Korg, Thor: Ragnarok
4. Johanna Mason, Catching Fire
5. William Shakespeare, Coriolanus, Act II, Scene 3, line 17
Percieval C McLeach, The Rescuers Down Under