Hey, all. This is another one of those one-shots that got away from me. This "short conversation" turned out to be a little less than 5 typed pages. It went where it wanted, I guess. Hope you like.
I don't own anything, this is just a work of my demons.
BEAUTIFUL
Fuck.
Why was he so beautiful? I mean, guys can be classically handsome, or ruggedly handsome. Why did Lance have to be the most beautiful man on this or any other planet? It just wasn't fucking fair.
Keith sat with his chin resting on his palm watching the other former Paladin as he talked to one of his family members. Keith had been on Earth for a quick meeting and had decided on a whim to visit his old friend.
Friend? Was that really the term? He supposed they had become friends there at the end. He had to admit he trusted Lance with his life, and that was saying a lot. There was so much more he wanted with him though. He'd thought this way for years but Lance had had Allura, and then he suddenly didn't. He never wanted to step on that.
Besides, Lance could do so much better.
"Sorry, man. Work's never done, ya know?" Lance came and flopped himself down on his back in the shade of the tree.
Keith tried not to notice as the other man's shirt rode up a bit, giving a teasing glimpse of his hipbones. "Yeah," he said, noncommittally.
Lance propped himself up on his elbows to get a look at his friend. "What were we talking about?" he grinned. "Oh, yeah. Dating."
Keith rolled his eyes, he really didn't want to talk about this. Especially with Lance. "Just drop it, man. I told you, it doesn't matter."
Lance sat up and mirrored Keith's posture. "Come on, you can't tell me there's never been someone to catch your eye?"
"I just don't have time for that kind of thing," he brushed it off.
Lance continued as if he hadn't heard. "There has to be someone! What about that chick, Acxa? Yeah, she seemed to like you, for whatever reason," he mumbled the last part but Keith still heard.
Keith shook his head. "She's not my type. Besides, I think she really has eyes for your sister."
"Ronnie!?" Lance squeaked. "I had no idea..."
The former leader of Voltron watched as his friend became lost in thought. The dappled sunlight piercing through the leaves set off his freckles and highlighted his Altean marks. The blue of the marks set off his eyes. Even war could not dim his beauty.
Their journey together had been long, they were definitely not the people they were when they first left the planet. Lance had grown, space had humbled him, made him a little less brash. He had always been considerate of the needs of those around him but the depth of his compassion was truly displayed now for all to see. Anyone who ever met him couldn't help but like Lance.
Though the whole group were special to him, Keith saw two of them differently than the others. Shiro was his brother, at least in heart. And Lance was his best friend. Whereas he was sure Shiro knew he saw him that way, he considered the fact he'd never told Lance. Perhaps he would one day.
Lance's voice brought him out of his musing. "Don't try to distract me. We are talking about this!"
Keith groaned, leaned back against the tree, and threw his arm over his eyes. "We don't have to. That would be great with me."
Lance punched his leg. "Yes we do. I know there's gotta be someone out there you like."
'Out there? More like right here,' he mused but kept silent.
"Otherwise you wouldn't have said you had a type," he quipped triumphantly.
The half-Galra was glad his arm covered most of his face because he was sure he was blushing. "Just drop it, Lance." There was an unintentional sharpness to his tone.
There was silence for a moment then Lance spoke once more, his voice had taken on a softer tone. "I don't want you to be lonely."
"I'm not alone. I'm with the others all the time," he said scoffing.
"You mean the Blades, Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid? That's not what I'm talking about. The Blade and your three lesbians are great, and I'm so proud of you for having friends, but you can still be lonely surrounded by others. I should know."
That struck Keith to his core. He had felt that deep loneliness on many occasions. He hadn't realized that someone else felt the same – especially not Lance. He'd always seemed so up-beat. He wondered how much he had hidden from them when they'd been out there. Keith bit his lip. It made him feel like a shit friend.
Silence descended between the two for several long minutes.
Finally Lance couldn't take it any longer. He rested a hand on Keith's knee. "I want you to be happy, Keith," he said softly.
"I am happy."
"Are you?"
Keith lowered his arm and sat up. "Can't I be happy even though I'm not in a relationship?" he asked, indignant. Lance's hand burned on his knee and he fought not to push it off.
"Of course you can, but," he paused for a second, "don't you want to be in love?"
Keith's ears flared hot. This was all too much to take. Between those beautiful sincere eyes and the understanding tone it was pressing on him. "I already am!"
At once he was horrified at his shouted words.
"What?" Lance gaped in shocked amazement.
Keith jumped to his feet. "Forget I said that!"
Lance rose when Keith turned to go. He grabbed his arm in a strong grip. "Stop, man. Talk to me. What's going on?" The former leader of Voltron didn't turn back. "Keith, buddy," he tugged on his arm but Keith wouldn't turn and look at him. "Who is it?" he asked in a quiet voice.
Keith squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. When he let it out all of his strength went with it, his arm went boneless in Lance's grip. "It doesn't matter. We can't be."
Lance was silent for a moment. "Have you talked to this person? Do you know for sure?"
Keith shook his head no.
"There, you see. You just need to say something –"
"It's not that simple! I can't."
"Why?" Lance thought for a moment then tugged his arm again. "Oh, Keith, did they die?" he asked in a strained whisper.
Keith turned to look at him and his arm was finally dropped. Lance seemed to be surveying him analytically and he prayed his face gave nothing away. "No, it's nothing like that. They don't see me like that, so I don't want to put pressure on them to reciprocate when I know that's not possible."
Lance pouted, jutting out his lower lip. Keith had to look away.
"Still, I wish you'd tell me who it is. I could be your wing-man, I could go back to being your right-hand-man." He wiggled the fingers of his right hand in demonstration.
Keith looked at him fondly. God, how he loved this beautiful dork. "I appreciate it, but I don't want to disturb him with a confession."
Lance perked up at his words. "So, it's a guy! That eliminates half the universe's inhabitants!" He pumped a fist in the air.
Keith cursed his slip of tongue, even as he tried to hide his grin at how excited Lance was.
"Well, how long have you liked this guy?"
Keith gave him a side-glance. "Years."
Lance paused, "Years? You've liked him for years and he doesn't know?" He shook his head. "Whoever this guy is he's obviously an idiot!"
A sour expression snapped to Keith's face. "He's not an idiot!"
Lance's eyebrows rose to his hairline and his mouth fell open. "Okay, not an idiot. Got it."
Keith's stance eased as he tried to get himself under control.
"So, you don't have to tell me who it is but can you at least tell me what he's like? I want to know what type of person is so special as to capture the attention of the great Keith Kogane."
Keith returned to his spot under the tree, and sank to the ground with a huff. Lance followed and sat gingerly next to him.
Keith wasn't sure what he could say but the words sort of started tumbling out of his mouth. "He has the best eyes. I don't mean the color – though they are beautiful – but the expressiveness of them. You can tell a lot by looking at him when he talks, or even more when he's quiet. I see more there than the words he says."
Lance sucked in a breath and bit his lip.
"He has a great heart but can be as tough as nails. He's a hero, and not just to me." Keith drew his legs up and rested his folded arms on his knees. "I don't usually describe guys as pretty but, damn, he's so pretty." His voice faded and he looked away. "So beautiful. Sometimes... sometimes it hurts to look at him."
Lost in his thoughts he ironically almost forgot Lance was there, until he suddenly was tackled by him. "Lance?" Keith was startled.
"I hate this guy," Lance said, sounding watery, as he gripped him tighter in the circle of his arms. "I just want to punch his lights out!"
Keith twitched with whether to hug him or push him away. He settled for an awkward half-hug. "Why?"
Lance sat back up so he could look at him but kept his arms around his torso. There were definite tears in his eyes, though none had fallen. "Why? Because you love some oblivious dude," he said as if it were obvious. "You're in pain. You've had enough pain."
Keith's eyes widened. He gripped Lance and and pulled him closer. He still wasn't used to having someone care so much about him. He had Shiro and Krolia and his friends, but sometimes he still felt like that angry, lonely orphan boy. Unwanted and alone. "Come on, I said I was fine." He tried to say it casually but it came out slightly strained.
"Why don't you tell him!?" Lance practically wailed.
Keith sighed. "I told you, he wouldn't be receptive, and I don't want to make things awkward between us."
Lance sprang back again and grabbed Keith's jacket in his fists. "Seriously, how do you know?"
Keith looked away and grit his teeth. "He loved someone else almost as long as I loved him. He only noticed me as a friend."
"Loved someone else? As in past tense?"
Keith nodded his head yes. "I suppose he really does still love that other person, even though..."
Lance let go of him and sat back. "He lost that person in the war, didn't he?"
Keith nodded again, not wanting to make verbal the sad truth.
Lance looked down. "I know how that is," he said quietly.
"You see, that's why I don't want to. He still deeply cares, and I can't intrude on that." Lance stared at him for a long time and he could feel his eyes burning on him, judging something.
"Is he still a good friend of yours?" Lance asked with his eyes narrowed.
Keith began to sweat. Was he beginning to suspect who it was? He swallowed down his nerves but decided to answer truthfully. "Yes?" he didn't mean for it to come out sounding like a question.
Lance gave a decisive nod. "Even if you're right, and he won't like you back, you need to do this. You need to tell him how you feel. If for nothing else than for closure. That way one day you'll be able to move on."
"I can't." Keith looked down at his hands.
"Sure you can. If he's as good a friend as you say, he'll see past this. Sure, it will be awkward at first but you'll still be friends." Lance gave him a kind and reassuring smile.
Keith shook his head. "No, I could tell him, but I wont be able to move on."
Lance's eyes widened. "So, when you say you love him it's not as simple as a crush then."
Keith looked at him, all seriousness in his gaze. "No. I love him more than anything in this, or any, world."
Lance blushed at the honesty. "Oh." He ran his fingers through his short hair. "Wow, man."
Keith felt a wave of affection and love wash over him as he looked at Lance. "Lance," he croaked out.
Those blue eyes weren't turned to him when Lance answered. "Yeah?"
He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "What would you do if someone confessed their love to you?"
"What? Oh, well, I'd be flattered of course." He pondered that, holding his chin to think.
"I mean, would you go out with them?" Keith bit his lip.
Lance shrugged. "It would definitely depend on the person. If they were some weird stalker or something then that's a hard no."
Keith leaned closer. "But if you knew them and they were serious. Would you?"
Lance looked out over the fields, lost to his memories and was silent for several minutes. When he did speak again his voice had gone to a whisper. "Allura is gone, and though I miss her... I think..." he stuttered, "I think she would want me to be happy, you know?"
He bit his lip. "Can you be happy with another person?"
Lance stared at him a minute. "Happiness and love aren't exclusively tied to one person. We're built for infinite amounts of love. You know that, right?"
Keith huffed out a breath. Sure, he knew that. He'd just never met anyone who could love like that. Well, maybe Lance. His gaze dropped to his shoes. Fuck, why couldn't he say the words?
"Keith?" Lance's voice was soft, hesitant. When he went unanswered he tried again, this time putting gravitas into the words. "Keith, what are you trying to say?"
The Blade didn't look up, he couldn't. "I think you know what I'm trying to say."
Lance grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, turning him so that they were facing. "Keith Kogane, you are braver than this. You need to say it out loud. You owe me, and yourself, at least that."
Keith swallowed audibly as he looked into the face of his beautiful Lance. "Lance, I –" he swallowed again, his throat felt like the Texas desert in summer. "I love you. I have loved you for a long time."
He waited, not daring to breathe. Wide eyes and a gaping mouth greeted his expectant gaze.
"Keith," was said in barely a whisper. For the second time Keith found his arms full of the blue paladin. Lance gripped him so hard it took his breath, or maybe it was the fingers combing the back of his head.
"Lance?" he really had to know what the other man was thinking, he was about to have a breakdown.
Lance pulled back and Keith was shocked to see tears running down his cheeks. He would've commented on them if, in the next second, his lips hadn't been forcefully taken.
The kiss was firm but still chaste, and Keith was just getting into it when Lance pulled away.
"So, you think I'm beautiful?" Lance asked with a quirk of his lip. Lips which were just a little puffy and wet.
Despite the way his heart lurched when he looked at him Keith burst out a chuckle. "Did I say that?"
Lance punched him in the chest, knocking him back. Keith grabbed hold of his attacker and pulled him down on top of him. "You're a big jerk," Lance pouted.
Keith smiled a private smile meant just for Lance. "The answer to your question is yes. You are so beautiful."
Lance paused and lost his train of thought as he blushed full red. He gripped the front of Keith's shirt and buried his face against his chest. "Damn it, Keith! You aren't supposed to be this smooth!"
Keith laughed again. "Only for you," he whispered.
Lance looked up at him, a soft unreadable expression on his face. Like he was trying to decide something. "Um, Keith? I guess you love me," he paused and Keith nodded, "but I," he chewed his lip for a second. "I'm not sure..."
Keith put two fingers to his lips to quiet him. "I don't need you to be there yet. Let's just start off slow and see where this goes. I don't want you to feel pressured." He smiled, all kindness and soft eyes. His fingers drifted off his lips to cup his cheek, though his thumb lingered on Lance's lower lip a bit longer.
Lance was breathless. "I – that would be okay, I guess."
Kieth nodded. "So, would you like to go on a date with me in the near future?" Despite the previous things said he was still a bit apprehensive when it came to asking.
Lance blinked then leaned down to kiss his former leader. This one was a bit deeper and more meaningful. When they finally broke for air both were panting.
"Is that a yes?" Keith asked with a smirk.
Lance hit him again but blushed. After a minute (when Keith's laughter died down) blue eyes looked away bashfully. "Yes."
A few months later they were having family dinner and the McClain home. Krolia was Earth-side, so was invited to join them. They were done eating but were sitting around swapping stories.
Lance and Keith were sitting next to each other, and though they kept their distance in public, due to their mutual dislike of pda's, Keith was holding Lance's hand under the table. Lance watched his boyfriend as he interacted with his family and it made something warm expand in his chest.
Keith was rubbing small circles on the back of Lance's hand with his thumb. Lance doubted he even knew he was doing it. He watched as Keith laughed at something his sisters said and he couldn't stand it a moment longer.
He squeezed the hand that held his to get his boyfriend's attention. Purple eyes turned to him with a smile left over from his laugh still on his face.
Lance waited until he was sure he had his full attention. "I love you," he said slow and meaningfully.
For a second Keith didn't process what had been said and then his heart beat out of order. "Are you sure?" he stressed in a whisper.
Lance nodded and squeezed their conjoined hands again. Words would not come, nor were they necessary.
Keith's grin grew. He surged forward and kissed Lance thoroughly, and with no regard for their audience.
They stopped short of it becoming indecent, and rested with foreheads touching. They both registered the sudden silence in the room at the same time. Keith straightened and turned to the others while Lance buried his face in his hands.
Mrs McClain was crying with a smile, her husband had a half grin and an eyebrow raised, Krolia was looking at her son fondly. The others had various looks of surprise and happiness.
"What?" Keith asked. "He said he loves me," he shrugged with one shoulder.
Lance gasped and slapped him on the arm. "Keith," he hissed.
Keith caught his hand and held it again, giving it a squeeze. He could hardly believe he was so lucky to have this beautiful man as his. "What? You do." He brought their conjoined hands up to give a kiss to the back of Lance's.
Lance blushed further but smiled. "Yeah," he sighed, "I do."
END
I was disappointed in the direction they took at the end of Voltron, so this is my little "fix it" piece. Hadn't slept in two days when I did the final edit, so, there's that. Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know your opinion.
I'm writing a longer story that is in some ways similar to this, in that it's canon compliant and takes place after the final. We'll see how that goes, having issues with it right now.