A/N: Trigger warning - anxiety/panic attack.
Slight spoilers for Gamer 2.0 and Miraculer if you squint.
This is so not the piece I am supposed to be working on! Ahhh! I actually want to finish my WIPs someday! I do! I swear! But in the meantime, enjoy this one shot!
Special shout out to my sister, AsuraSantosha for being an awesome beta!
…
Superhero Survey
Marinette was not only on time for once, but actually early. She allowed herself the luxury of a slow pace as she nibbled at a buttery croissant, still warm from the oven, savoring each flakey bite. Croissants never got old – even when you lived in a bakery. Despite arriving on time, she was still one of the last ones to make it to the classroom. Only Adrien and Ivan had yet to show up.
"Hey Marinette!" Nino greeted from his normal seat.
"Morning Nino! What is Alya doing?" she asked, eyeing her best friend who was on the other side of the room talking to Max and Kim with her nose buried in her notebook as she took notes of whatever they were saying.
"A superhero survey," Nino explained.
"A what now?" She asked, taking her usual seat.
"She's asking everyone who their favorite hero is for the Ladybug."
Marinette pushed the last piece of pastry into her mouth, wishing she had thought to grab another one. Two had seemed like plenty at the time, but the truth was however many she had, she always wanted just one more.
Alya came down from the back of the room and slid into her seat beside Marinette.
"What's the verdict of the class, babe?" Nino asked, leaning forward to glance at her tally.
"Five for Ladybug, three for Chat Noir, two votes for Queen Bee and one for Rena Rouge!"
"Let me guess. Chloe and Sabrina for Queen Bee?" Marinette interjected dryly.
"I keep survey responses confidential," Alya quipped, as she scribbled out her totals in the margin.
"Actually, Chloe voted for Ladybug," Nino shared.
"Nino!" Alya objected. "I keep survey responses confidential!" Nino and Marinette both ignored her.
"Huh. I guess that makes sense," Marinette agreed. She really wondered if Chloe would feel the same way if she knew who her heroine was under the mask. "Who'd you vote for, Nino?"
"Rena Rouge," his eyes darted towards his girlfriend for just a second. He was not subtle.
Marinette's lips pulled up into a smirk. "I'm sensing a celebrity crush!" she teased.
"Yeah. So what?" he shrugged, but the red in his ears gave him away.
"Careful! Your actual girlfriend might get jealous." Alya teased, her eyes dancing in merriment. over a smug smirk.
If anything, Nino's blush deepened.
Alya spared him, and turned her attention to Marinette. "So… Marinette, who do you think is Paris's best superhero and why?"
Marinette stared up at the ceiling. "I…"
Adrien's bag thumped onto the table and both girls' gaze snapped upwards at the sudden noise.
"Adrien! Who's the best superhero?" Alya asked without greeting.
"Ladybug," the blond responded immediately, like he didn't have to think about it at all.
Marinette rolled her eyes, even as she blushed. "So cliché," she mumbled.
"You have a different opinion, Marinette?" Alya's hazel eyes swiveled towards her, wide with expectation.
"Yeah, Ladybug would be nothing without Chat Noir," she asserted.
Adrien snorted. "Oh please! Half the time he gets turned against her!"
His dismissal of her partner in crime irritated her more than she expected.
"Because she's clumsy!" she countered. "And he has to take hits for her."
"Ladybug is not clumsy!"
"She most certainly is!" Marinette snapped back, not remotely intimidated by his heated glare.
"You guys need to chill!" Alya interjected, eyeing them both in surprise. Her lips turned down in a slight disapproving frown.
That was objectively good advice. Marinette knew it. She could even picture Tikki, eyes wide from the bottom of her purse, her lower lip trembling, begging her to listen. She should stop now while she was ahead. Her teeth clamped down on her fingernails. She shouldn't say anything.
But her kitty's honor was as stake.
She whipped out her phone and immediately pulled up the Ladyblog. From the archive, she loaded a video and shoved it in Adrien's face.
"Watch! See here! Ladybug is going to trip over air, and when she stumbles, Chat's right there preventing disaster!"
"This doesn't count!" Adrien shoved the phone back to her before the video had even gotten to the relevant point. "This was so long ago. She's improved a lot since then."
"But so have the villains! I'm telling you, without Chat Noir, Hawkmoth would have won ages ago!"
"Absolutely no way!" the normally polite blond shouted. "Ladybug always finds a way to succeed even when backed into a corner."
The debate became less calm and civil with every word exchanged. She didn't consciously remember jumping out of her seat. But now she and Adrien were both standing close enough to share spit droplets that impassioned arguments sent flying. Her body was shaking in agitation as she stared down her opponent.
"It's Ladybug that does all the saving! She's the one that finds creative solutions, that cleanses the akuma, that repairs the damage! Chat Noir is a sidekick at best!" Adrien shouted.
"Sidekick?!" she repeated in rage. Marinette clenched her fists to prevent herself from attacking him. She wanted to strangle him in that moment, crush or no crush! Sidekick?! He didn't understand anything! "Chat Noir protects Ladybug so that she can do those things, he figures out her plans with only two words of explanation. Hell, he's died to make sure Paris is healed!" Marinette countered hotly.
A bomb of silence exploded across the classroom with that pronouncement. A moment before she had been too absorbed in the fight to notice anyone other than Adrien, but now she could feel all the eyes on her. Her skin was crawling, but she jutted her chin out stubbornly, refusing to give any ground.
"What are you talking about, dude?" Nino broke the silence. "Chat Noir is fine. Someone saw him on Patrol last night. It was on the Ladyblog."
Horror bubbled from the pit of her stomach as she realized her mistake. She wanted to throw up.
"Y-Yeah! Chat Noir is totally fine! Always has been!" she broke off into nervous laughter. "He certainly did not die in Ladybug's arms during Timebreaker."
What was she doing?
"He didn't sacrifice himself to the Gamer or take a fatal wound from Miraculer!"
She needed to stop talking. Right now.
"Yup!" she finished, popping the p. "Chat Noir's definitely totally and completely fine! Fine as in healthy. Mentally and physically! Not fine as in handsome. Though he definitely is that too! Objectively attractive, that is."
She dropped her face into her hands in hopes that no one could see her flaming face.
Alya was already patting her back. "It's okay girl. We get it. Why don't you come back to your seat and just calm down?"
Marinette peeked through her fingers and glanced across the classroom. Alya looked patiently amused. Chloe wasn't looking at her at all – her attention on her nails. Nino, Alix, and Mylene all gave her sweet affectionate and reassuring smiles.
She let her hands fall to her sides. It was okay. It was fine. Alya, Nino, nor Chloe seemed to react to the comment on Miraculer even though they had all been there! She tried not to be irritated. This was good! Her rambling comments were just dismissed. This was just Marinette being… well, Marinette!
Her eyes landed on Adrien who stood before her as still as his wax model – his emerald-green eyes were overblown and his mouth hung wide open.
"Are you okay, Adrien?" she asked him.
His jaw snapped shut and he managed to nod dumbly, before Madam Bustier entered and they all scrambled to their seats. Class progressed as normal. Well, almost normal. Adrien kept twisting around in his seat to look at her. Heat pooled in her cheeks at the unexpected attention. She tried to hide behind her notebook, but each time she risked pulling her cover down, swirling green eyes over puzzled eyebrows froze her in place all over again.
"Adrien, the lesson is up here," Ms. Bustier gently reminded him.
"Uh… Yes, Ms. Bustier. Sorry, for getting distracted." His hand rubbed at the back of his neck nervously.
He didn't turn around again and Marinette rediscovered what it felt like to be able to breathe easily. Her relief was short-lived. At the end of class, Adrien whirled around to face her almost the instant before the bell rang.
"Uh… Marinette?"
She attempted to make eye contact, but she couldn't hold it. Not the way he was looking at her just now. She didn't know what it meant or what he was feeling, but it was too much. "Y-Yeah?" She cursed the return of her stammer.
He glanced around the room as if to see if anyone was paying attention. But everyone was focused on stowing away their belongings and leaving for their next class.. He leaned in really close – their noses were only centimeters apart.
She forgot how to breathe again.
"Chat Noir didn't die for Paris," he whispered.
Marinette pulled away with gritted teeth, her hands balling into fists once again. She couldn't let herself back into the debate less she slip again. And she really didn't want to be mad at him. Adrien was allowed to like Ladybug! Hell, she should be flattered that he liked Ladybug, but he was wrong about Chat Noir!
"Chat Noir died for Ladybug," he added. His words were so calm, so serious.
All the fight within her evaporated, as she stared at him with her eyes blown wide. How would he know that?
Unless… unless…
"Chat Noir would sacrifice anything for Ladybug. She's the most important person in his life. The moments spent with her are his favorite."
Now she really couldn't breathe. Her brain had turned to mush, her thoughts and feelings were total entropy, chaos – spinning too fast to grasp onto anything. But something big had just happened. She had all the pieces. They just needed to…
…Snap together.
No way!
"Just like moments spent with you are some of my favorite," he finished. Only his voice seemed so far away, and the world was collapsing in on her chest.
Was he smiling? How had he gotten so far away?
"Earth to Marinette!" Alya called from her left. "Why aren't you packing up your stuff?"
Marinette couldn't respond - she couldn't even turn her head away from the blond boy in front of her.
"Adrien! What did you do to my girl?! I think she's broken."
He laughed. Like genuinely laughed. Not the polite sweet laugh she associated with Adrien. It was a full belly roll. It was Chat's laugh. He looked at her again with a small smile.
She wanted to return the gesture. But her mind was catching up to her and she still couldn't breathe! She had pushed Adrien off a building. She had refused Adrien's confessions. She had kissed Adrien!
His smile evaporated, and just like that he was at her side again.
"Are you disappointed?"
She shook her head rapidly.
"Are you panicking?" he guessed.
And then she nodded.
He offered his hand. She clung to it like it was a life line.
"It's okay my lady," he whispered. "I'm right here."
She focused on his voice, suddenly more familiar than she had ever realized. Her eyes drank in the curve of his jawline and the upturn of his lips. The feel of his hand in her own – his ungloved bare hand – his smooth flawless model skin against her calluses caused by years of poking herself with needles. This was Chat Noir without his gloves on. His overshirt was white. She giggled hysterically. Chat Noir was wearing white! She pressed her nose to his shirt and breathed in, only to be greeted with the faint scent of camembert. That was for Plagg, she realized. This was her partner. The man she trusted with her life.
She could breathe again. She felt more grounded in that moment than she had in years.
"It's you," she whispered.
His smile rivaled the sun in its brightness. "At your service, princess."
Tears sprang from her eyes like water released from a dam. She launched her arms around him. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed through delighted giggles. "It's you!"
"You already said that," he commented softly.
She flicked him at the throat where his bell would have been before seizing him in another hug, delighting in how well his form fit against her own despite their differences in height.
"So, you understand now?" she finally asked, pulling back so she could better see his face. Their hands remained joined. When had they started holding hands?
"Understand what?" Adrien repeated, his green eyes glowing like star light as he drank in the sight of her.
"That Ladybug is nothing without Chat Noir," she finished in a whisper.
"Not a chance!" Adrien exclaimed, barking out another genuine laugh - a Chat Noir laugh. That was his true laugh.
"I stand by everything that I said more than ever, Nette!" he said, his thumb caressed the back of hers.
She blushed at the new nickname, recognizing it as an abbreviation of Buginette and Marinette both.
"But!" she tried to interject.
He pulled her into another hug. "But I'm sure Chat Noir appreciates that he is needed."
"He had better!" Marinette growled, even as she let herself melt into his arms.
"What is happening right now?" Alya interjected from behind her phone. She was clearly taking pictures, or maybe, recording a video. "Explain. Now."
Adrien and Marinette both glanced at Alya, then shared a look with each other, before turning back to Alya.
"No," they both said simultaneously. Marinette let Adrien lead her gently the classroom hand in hand.
"Nino! What just happened?" Alya exclaimed behind them.
"No idea babe, but I think your ship might be sailing?"
"Maybe both of them," Marinette whispered, letting her head fall onto her partner's arm, no longer feeling remotely nervous around him.
…
A/N: I learned literally about the "5 things" exercise for calming yourself during a panic attack from reading fan fiction! Once I encountered it twice, I went and looked it up. Anyway, I didn't explicitly state that it was there in this, but the moment when she took Adrien's hand and started noticing all the sensory details was inspired by this concept. The idea is making yourself identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, etc. is making you focus on sensory things to bring you back to the here and now. And be less wrapped up in your spiraling thoughts. I haven't had a panic attack since I learned about this technique, but should one strike (and I remember) I will try this out.
Fun fact: Did you know that blond/e is an adjective that has a masculine and feminine form in English?! It's because we borrowed the word from French. Blond is for males and Blonde for females. In english, they are pronounced the same!
More reveals to be added, but updates will likely be slow. That being said, feel free to send me prompts for more here, or on Tumblr. My name is Kasienda there too.
Reviews are love!