AN:

So this is the last chapter, I hope you like it.

Chapter 6

„Stay still!" Mac was annoyed. „How am I supposed to give you a decent shave, if you won't stop squirming? Next time I'll give you an elctric shaver."

„These are shit. Just get it done." Jack grumbled. He was embarrassed. It has been a week since he came to and he was still so weak, that he wasn't able to shave. The shaking of his hands made it impossible. The Delta was frustrated over his bodys refusal to obey his brains orders. His limbs were cramping and shaking, sending flares of agony through his body. A constant headache and dizziness were ever present. At least he was able to keep his meals down mostly by now and he could stay awake for longer periods of time. Mac had helped him to talk the doctors into releasing him today. But only, if he would agree to a long list of conditions.

They would go to Macs cabin for Jacks recovery. The doctors had given Mac strict instructions for Jack to follow. No exertion, no wandering around alone, taking the muscle relaxants regularly and doing the exercises, the physiotherapists had shown him. The doctors didn't like the idea of Jack leaving medical so soon, but they have known both of them long enough to understand, that they needed to get out to get the rest they both needed.

„You ready to go?" Mac asked.

Jack nodded. Getting dressed had worn him out already, but he was determined not to show it. He slowly stood up and began to sway, Mac reached out a hand to steady him. After a minute Jack had found his legs and began to walk.

„Stop!" Macs sharp voice made him flinch. He slowly turned around. „What?" Mac pointed at the wheelchair in the corner of the room. „You'll use this to get out of here. Doctors orders. And you know, that you won't even make it to the elevator in the state you are in." Macs voice softened at the last sentence.

Jacks shoulders sagged. He knew Mac was right. He probably wouldn't have made it out of the room, let alone all the way to the elevator. Standing alone was sucking up all his energy. He sighed. „You're right, but I don't have to like it. If you take a picture of me in that thing, I promise you that nobody will ever find your body."

„Already making threats Jack? You must be doing better." A sarcastic voice came from the door. Riley stood there, grinning. „Hey sweetheart, how is my favourite hacker doing today?" Jack was all smiles.

„Awesome, now that I see you up and around. You scared the shit out of me, out of all of us." She added. Jack sat back on the bed, pulling Riley to sit beside him. He laid a hand around her shoulder and sqeezed gently. „I'm sorry Ri. I didn't want you to have to watch this."

„Hey, it wasn't your fault big guy. I'm just glad you're ok." They didn't see Mac flinch at the words.

Riley smiled. „So you're going out to Macs cabin? Maybe Bozer and I will come out and visit at the weekend. Just promise me to take it easy and not to give Mac a hard time."

Jack grinned deviously. „I promise, I'll be as good as Mac is, when he's the one recovering."

„Oh, you're in for a quite a chore then Mac. Jack I'm serious, you have to take it easy. Being poisoned with some neurotoxins isn't something to take lightly." Riley couldn't hide her concern.

„Hey, it takes more than mustard gas and Difluoryl-something to take down a Delta." He was answered with a burst of laughter from Riley and Mac. Jack looked confused.

„It's Di-Isopropylfluorphosphate Jack. Riley said, when you were out of it, you wouldn't allow something to kill you, that you can't even spell."

Jack laughed. „That's my girl."

Mac grinned. „Come on, let's get out of here. I'm sick and tired of medical." The blond agent had barely left the room in the last week. He had been at Jacks side the whole time, supporting him when the cramps got really bad and intervening when Jack gave the nurses a hard time. Mac had slept on a cot in the room, but hadn't got much rest himself. „I'm really looking forward to sleeping in a real bed."

Jack nodded. „You didn't need to stay the whole time. Not that I don't appreciate it, I do, but I know how these cots suck."

Mac sobered. „It is a small price worth to pay. I wasn't sure you'd be able to beat this. It's …" Mac gulped. „It was hard to watch the seizures. Don't do this to me ever again." Jack laid his hand on Macs shoulder. „Hey, it's alright bro. It may take a while, but I'm going to be as good as new."

They made their way out of the Phoenix building. It took them pretty long, because most of the people they met, stopped to say some well wishes or to clap Jack on the shoulder. Mac realised, how much Jack meant to those people. He had saved a lot of them over the last years and they really appreciated Jacks willingness to protect them all. He was a guy easy to like and their sympathy was prove to it.

The drive to Macs cabin took them several hours. Jack had nodded on and off. Mac didn't like Jacks pale complexion, this last week had clearly left their mark on the Delta. The deep lines of pain hadn't really left his face. A clear sign, that Jack was still fighting off the after effects of the poisons. The cramps were assaulting him mercilessly, several times every day and night. The physiotherapist had shown Mac some exercises, that would help ease the pain a bit.

It was late afternoon, when they reached the cabin. Jack was awake, but they hadn't talked a lot over the last hour. Mac parked the Jeep and ran over to the passengers door to help Jack out. „Hey, I'm no invalid. I'm able to get out of the car alone." He grumbled and stood, only to fall into Macs arms a moment later, when his knees betrayed his words. „Easy, I got you Jack. Come on, one step at a time." Mac almost had to drag Jack into the house. He helped Jack sit down on the couch. The Delta ran a shaky hand through his hair. „Thanks," he breathed. „Damn it!"

„Your welcome Jack. Don't pressure yourself. It was a long drive, I'm also tired. I'm gonna start a fire." He added, as he saw Jack shiver. The Texan didn't respond he closed his eyes and sank back into the pillow. He was asleep in minutes snoring softly.

Mac brought in the supplies to last them several weeks. He took their bags into the bedrooms and prepared some sandwiches and placed them on the living room table. He grabbed two bottles of water and plopped down onto the chair opposite Jack.

Suddenly Jacks legs began to jerk, his eyes shot open and he groaned in pain. Reaching down he tried to rub away the pain, breathing hard. Mac was at his side a moment later and began to massage his calves. „Try to slow down your breathing Jack," he advised. „I'm trying," wheezed the Delta, but it took another five minutes until the spasm was leaving his body.

„A bad one huh?" Mac said sympathetically. Jack nodded. „Yeah, these cramps are a bitch." Mac stood up and brought Jack two pills and a bottle of water.

„I don't take it." Jack stated. Mac let out a sigh. „Did you forget that you promised to follow doctors orders strictly?" He held out the pills again.

Jack pouted. „They're making me sick and the're not helping anyway." But he grabbed them and washed them down with some water. Mac thrust the plate with the sandwich in the Deltas hands and said sternly. „Eat!"

Jack looked at the food, as if it was a wild animal that would bite him any moment. It was weird, he really had relished a good meal, but since the poisoning he was literally disgusted by any kind of food. He had lost way to much weight this last week. This didn't go unnoticed by Mac. „Listen bud, I know you aren't savoring eating right now, but you need to take in some calories."

„I know bro, I know." With a sigh he grabbed the sandwich and began to nibble at it. He managed half of it, than shoved the plate away. Jack struggled to his feet, holding onto the couch as a wave of dizziness swept over him. He held out a hand to signal Mac to stay away. „I got this Mac. Just need a moment." True to his words he straightened and wobbled his way to the bedroom. „I'm gonna turn in, I'm bushed. Thanks for bringing me out here Mac."

„Good night Jack."

Mac got up and cleaned up the dishes. He added some logs to the fire and went to bed. He was utterly exhausted, the constant worry and the long trip had taken a toll on him. Sleeping on the cot in the hospital hadn't been restful and there were still so many things running through his head, that prevented a good nights sleep. He made up his mind, that he would have a serious talk with Jack the next day, he had an apology to make. Mac fell into the bed and was out in seconds.

A loud crash startled Mac awake. He was out of bed in a second and ran to Jacks room. The bed was empty, but he could hear a low groaning from the bathroom. Mac was shocked as he entered the room. Jack was curled up on the floor in the fetal position, writhing in pain. A look to the toilet confirmed that Jack had thrown up. The blond fell on his knees and carefully turned Jack around, so his head was resting in his lap. The Delta was only half conscious. „Jack, can you hear me?" His friend didn't answer. Mac felt Jacks forehead, he was running a fever again, although not a high one. „Jack buddy, come on, it's me Mac!" He grabbed a wet cloth and cleaned up Jacks face. Slowly the Deltas eyes began to focus. „That's it bro. You with me?" Jack took a deep breath and whispered. „Mac?"

„Yeah, it's me. Why didn't you call?" Mac couldn't keep the concern out of his voice, but Jack was too out of it, to notice. „…idn wan wake you," he slurred.

„Come on brother, let's get you back to bed." Mac grabbed Jack under the armpits and hauled him up, noticing how much weight the Delta had actually lost. He pulled Jack into a sitting position on the edge of the bathtub. Jacks face lost all color and he bend over the toilet and was sick again. Mac held him, murmuring soothing words and rubbing Jacks back comfortingly. When the heaving finally stopped, Jack looked up to Mac. Seeing his brother so miserable almost brought tears to his eyes. Mac flushed the toilet and washed Jacks face again. He gave him a glass of water to rinse his mouth.

„Thanks," he breathed. „You think you can walk, if I help you?" Jack nodded. He stood on shaky legs and didn't protest, when Mac laid his hand around his shoulder. Slowly they made their way back to Jacks room. Mac grabbed a fresh t-shirt and helped Jack into it, as his other was soaked through with sweat. Jack collapsed onto the bed and Mac gently grabbed his legs and helped him get comfortable.

He covered Jack and sat down on the side of the bed. „Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave medical this early, and then the long drive out here. I should have waited a couple more days." Mac cursed himself. He knew, that Jack was still pretty sick, it was careless to risk his health further by bringing him out here. There wasn't a hospital nearby. „I think, I'm gonna take you back to medical tomorrow."

„No!" Jacks arm shot out from under the covers and grabbed his arm with surprising strength. „It was the right decision Mac. I couldn't stand it any longer and you know it. I'm gonna be ok. Sorry for disturbing you. Please don't take me back. I promise, I try to eat and I'm gonna take the fucking pills if you insist, but please let me stay here." Jacks eyes started to tear up and he wiped at them before the tears would escape. Macs heart broke. „Hey now. It's ok, calm down Jack. We'll stay, ok? I'm not sure about the pills myself, if they make you sick. Try to get some sleep now, tomorrow's another day." He rubbed Jacks arm in reassurance, realizing how their roles were reversed. Mac came to a new understanding, what Jack went through, when he was sick or injured. Jacks breathing evened out and he drifted off to sleep.

Mac was in the kitchen, when Jack entered the room. It was late morning and Mac had prepared a light breakfast. „I've made you some tea and toast. I thought that would be easier on your stomach."

„No coffee?" Jack sounded disappointed.

Mac laughed. „I doubt you could keep a cup of coffee down." Jack sat down at the counter and began to sip the tea. „Yeah and I drank so much of it the last weeks, I probably shouldn't drink any for the rest of the year."

„Why did you drink so much coffee? You didn't like the brew that much before." Mac had an idea, but he wanted Jack to start talking.

„Honestly I didn't sleep very well the last weeks and I desperately needed it to keep me going. But I'm not the only one suffering from insomnia." Jack stated.

„You're right. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, if you're up to it."

„I am bro. I was ready weeks ago," he said with a smile.

Mac sighed. „But I wasn't. I just couldn't talk about it. When we were out here and you tried to coax me to open up, I simply wasn't ready. I couldn't explain, what I was feeling or why I was feeling that way. I'm not entirely sure I can now, but I'm gonna give it a try. Watching Zoe … watching her drown, was one of the hardest thing I had to do in my life. The helplessness, standing there in the war room, perfectly safe and comfortable and watching her shivering in the cold water, struggling to breathe. I felt guilty. Guilty for surviving while she died. Guilty for not being able to save her. There was so much stuff around and I still couldn't figure out how to save her." Tears began streaming down his face. „I let her down, Jack. She needed me and I let her down. I know, we can't always save everybody on our missions."

„But she was not just everybody, wasn't she?" Jack asked gently.

Mac nodded. „She was … special. I can't describe it. There was a connection, something familiar, despite we didn't know each other. Her passion for science, her open mind and kind heart. I know I always denied, that there could be something like love at first sight, but now I know there is…"

„Oh Mac!" Jack sighed and pulled Mac into a fierce hug. Macs body shook with sobs. Finally he could let the grief escape, from deep within his soul, where it had been darkening his whole being. They stood there for a long time, until Mac was able to pull himself together.

„I'm sorry Mac. I tried to help you, but I couldn't find a way. I knew you were hurting, but I wasn't aware how much she meant to you."

„No, it's me, who needs to apologize. I shut everybody out. I felt like I didn't deserve your sympathy. I know you only tried to help, but I pushed you away. You couldn't sleep, because of me. Am I right?"

„Well, to be honest. I had some terrible nightmares, since you began to take such huge risks on our missions. So, when I had a nightmare, I stayed up for the rest of the night and thought about a way to get you out of this mess. But don't go blaming yourself for this, this is not on you."

Mac denied. „It is Jack. And it is my fault, that you nearly died. You just went back into that lab to get me out."

Jack shook his head vehemently. „Stop Mac! Stop it now, it was not your fault, that they blew up the lab and it was not your fault, that they had this fucking poison in there. You just did, what we always try to do. Complete the mission, how many times had a mission gone south? This is just another one, that went not according to plan. I'm sorry for being so angry with you on the flight back. I was just so scared as the lab blew up, that I would have lost you. Sorry bud."

Suddenly Mac laughed. „We are a pair, aren't we?"

Jack joined in. „We are pretty good at blaming ourselves. Are we good?"

„We are brother. We are."

They both still had a lot of heeling to do, but they would be fine.

END

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