Finding Home

Summary: As another war threatens to explode across Europe, Elsa is backed into a dangerous alliance to ensure Arendelle's freedom and the protection of her family. Hans struggles to live away from the shadow of his brother's clutches as he seeks to find true love and a place of his own. Between the vicious manipulations and the clash of countries, can love even have a chance? This sequel to "Forgiveness" is set immediately after Napoleon's Russian Campaign during the War of the Sixth Coalition.

Author's Note: This is the official sequel to my previous story, "Forgiveness" which follows Frozen canon at least up to Olaf's Frozen Adventure. It took me several months to come up with a continuation to Forgiveness for I couldn't find a plot that fits right. I am still struggling with it even now so it may take me a while to finish this. I'm almost certain I wouldn't be able to finish this story before the official Frozen 2 movie comes to theaters this November. By then, we would have a new set of canon to work with and this will become an official AU story. The rating of this story will probably go higher as I go into much more mature scenes in the future chapters.

Chapter One: Political Machinations

Arendelle Castle

March 4, 1813

Kai carefully dotted the last line of the letter he was writing and softly blew on the parchment to aid the drying of the ink. He ran through the document one last time to make sure all the words were correct and the tone was even, particularly on the essential part of the message.

…We assure His Majesty, that Arendelle remains a loyal ally. We have stood with you through this turmoil in Russia, and we continue to pledge our mutual support. We ask, however the safe repatriation of our soldiers to enable them to return to their families. We also hope for your continued provision of any new information relating to any Arendellian declared dead or missing in action…

It was a good enough message and now it only needed Elsa's approval and signature. It would be sent out first thing tomorrow morning and hopefully quell any rumors Emperor Bonaparte was hearing that could put Arendelle in an unfavorable light.

Kai reviewed the list of names that would accompany the letter. It was a list of Arendellian soldiers that had not yet returned from the front or been declared dead. Lieutenant Kristoff Bjorgman was on top of the list, deliberately put there as a reminder to the French Emperor that the Queen of Arendelle's family had their own personal stake in this and that they will not risk an open confrontation against France when Kristoff's safe return was still a question.

A little lie that hopefully France does not find out, Kai prayed. Or the other soldiers in this list may pay for it with their lives.

The list had been made significantly shorter after last week's arrival of another ship bearing tired and injured Arendellian soldiers, men who have been granted letters of safe passage by the grace of King Caleb of the Southern Isles. Kai expected they would be the last men that will be granted such free pass to return home. He had an odd feeling the Southern Isles only did them the favor in preparation for King Caleb sending Prince Hans so he can seduce Elsa. Elsa had revealed to Kai everything Anna told her about how the Southern Isles princes operate. And now that it appears courting Elsa was no longer in the offing, they can no longer expect much help from the Southern Isles. From now on, Arendelle had to rely on France itself to grant safe passage and there was no telling if France will again call for Arendellian troops to the next campaign and risk even more lives.

For how long can we hold on to this farce of an alliance? Nations are switching every week to this new coalition against France. Soon every single neighbor we have might be against France and Arendelle by extension. When the time comes that the general safety of Arendelle becomes threatened, will Elsa have to forfeit the lives of the men on this list? How did it come to this? Why did the ambition of one man had to ruin so many lives by putting nation against nation? We just wanted peace but here we are fighting each other in the name of alliances?

Kai shut his eyes for the moment and uttered a silent prayer for a better outcome of this war. This may just be the beginning. Lord, let it end with less bloodshed.

There was a curt knock of the door and Kai looked up, immediately knowing who it was.

"Your majesty? Please come in," Kai called out.

The door opened and in came his queen in her light blue dress lined with a cape and a hood. He knew she had just arrived from the cottage and went straight to him in his office. She walked deliberately and stiffly with two guards behind her.

"Kai," Elsa acknowledged. She dismissed the guards who promptly closed the door. It was only when they were alone that her posture eased. With a heavy sigh, she sagged into the office chair in front of his desk. Kai immediately got up from his own seat and was by her side. He could read into her body language that not all was well.

"Anna's not coming back to the castle," he stated.

She shook her head. He didn't need her confirmation. He knew her so well now he could read her decisions with her movements.

"How much does she know?" was his next practical question.

"Enough to keep her, Kristoff and the children from leaving the cottage."

Which means she barely knows anything, Kai concluded. It was an answer he was used to hearing before from his former king. Elsa even used some of the same vocal inflections as King Agdar's when she spoke.

She is her father's daughter, he concluded. Although she had promised her sister an open door, love and fear has a way of shutting down entrances. She's using the same defense tactics as her father.

"Elsa," he said gently. "Anna's not a child anymore. At some point you have to let her in. She is your heir. If anything happens to you..."

"If anything happens to me, she and her children are Arendelle's future. They need to be safe. That is the priority," Elsa said almost harshly.

"That's true but they need to be aware of what they will face if that happens."

Elsa gritted her teeth silently for a moment, her eyes squinting with unease. "I know that. But I can't Kai... Not yet, not now. I told her about the threats to her children in the grafitti and the pamphlets that were scattered in the village. It's enough she knows they need to be kept hidden until we find out who have been spreading those awful messages. They're scared enough, I don't want to add to their terror."

"You didn't tell her why her children were being threatened?"

Elsa shook her head. "How could I tell her? That her children are being called spawn of evil because their father was raised by trolls? That's it's not just me the Purification League are attacking anymore but they've shifted their focus on Kristoff and his family?"

She stood up and paced his office. "If I tell Anna and allow her to come back to the castle, how will that help? She will have to be away from her children so they can stay hidden. Kristoff cannot come with her. Our own courtiers will destroy him with their vicious gossip about his association with the trolls. It was bad enough when I had to hide the scandal of Anna's pregnancy. Even after they were wed, people have called Kristoff an opportunist peasant. Now they're calling him an unholy agent of the trolls. No! I will not let the wagging tongues that Knudsvig's been sending out hurt Anna and Kristoff any further! If it means Kristoff's status has to stay 'missing-in-action' then so be it. He's safer that way. Anna is safer that way. Their children are safer that way."

And your reputation and that of the royal house of Oldenburg does not sink even further by association, Kai sadly thought. It was the truth that no one dared to speak out loud to the queen but everyone knew. Anna's marriage to Kristoff was a liability of the crown.

Kai and Elsa had worked secretly for years to paint Anna's marriage as a love match and a progressive step towards making the monarchy more accessible to their subjects. For a while it did work. There had been columns in the European newspapers for months that praised their union as a fairytale romance founded on the modern ideas of equality and self-determination. The peasants certainly supported them and adored Kristoff for being "that ordinary boy that rose to success and impressed a princess through his own talents and hard work as a businessman."

However, within the circles of the Arendellian nobility, envy and intrigue over this "outsider" that gained entrance into the intimate sphere of royals, began to brew. Knudsvig, unfortunately, was quick to pick up on the gossip. The prince consort of Arendelle openly referred to Kristoff as his "joke of a brother-in-law" or his "uncout relation" and he encouraged the others of his class to follow suit.

Kai considered such insults as unfounded and unjust. Kristoff may not have had a formal education or possessed refined manners but Kai grew to respect his honesty, diligence and common sense. Even Elsa often referred to Kristoff when she was encountering problems with dealing with the peasants or even with matters of trade. He always had sound advice to give, practical and sometimes even out-of-the-box solutions no one among Elsa's advisors can come up with.

It is men like Kristoff who are essential to building a strong kingdom not these dandies at court who wrinkle their noses at dependable work and do nothing but spread malicious gossip. And yet, in the eyes of society, Kristoff is nothing more than a stain on the royal family's name and Elsa can't do anything about it without endangering herself.

Kai knew Elsa could ill afford to lose her reputation. With so many accusations hurled against her, she was in a precarious situation of keeping her alliances with other nations intact. Alliances were valuable in these times when nations were switching sides. One wrong diplomatic move, one loss of confidence with an ally may send an invading force into Arendelle's doorstep.

So Kai let the issue go, at least for now. "Alright, I won't argue about that. I suppose it's for the best that he stays hidden at the moment."

"It is for the best Kai," Elsa emphasized. "Have you heard any word among the peasants about any hint of gossip about Kristoff's desertion?"

Kai shook his head. "Nothing. Our men seemed to be keeping their word."

Elsa had managed to contain the news of Kristoff's court martial among the men who were on the same ship as Anna when she came home. In the guise of offering a formal welcome to the soldiers, Elsa had them sequestered immediately as soon as she heard of Anna's blunder and asked the men not to spread the fact that Kristoff had deserted the French army. Surprisingly, Elsa didn't even have to beg them. Without much convincing, all the men said they would keep the secret to the grave. It was an indication of how much the soldiers hated Arendelle's involvement in this so-called "French war" that made them agree. To them, Kristoff was a hero, a man who fought alongside them, who did the right decision to leave and to attempt to save the lives of the men under his command and was unjustly executed for it.

Kai knew a secret like that could not possibly last for long when so many men knew about it. He had his network of informants within the kingdom with their ears to the ground for any gossip about Kristoff for weeks. However, no word about it ever came out. Kai knew that if Knudsvig's little minions had known about it, they would not hesitate to use that information to malign Kristoff further. As things were rather quiet, it can only mean the soldiers were so motivated by their own admiration of Kristoff's act that they would protect his reputation. For how long that could go, Kai could only pray that it would last.

On the other hand, the former Prince Hans also appeared to have effectively buried the evidence of Kristoff's court martial for the official French military records still register Kristoff as "missing." Elsa had shared to Kai the contents of Hans' letter to Anna this morning when she received it from Private Tommy Thomson. Kai was rather skeptical of the letter and he was apprehensive to know how Anna responded to the missive.

"What about Hans?" Kai asked. "How did she take it? About his letter?"

Elsa breathed a sigh. "She's devastated. That worries me even more, Kai." She turned to face him. "I know he spared Kristoff's life and I'm grateful for that. But Anna's been going on and on about wanting Hans to live with us. Her own words were she wants Hans to be our brother. She wants him to be a part of the family."

"You're still suspicious of his intensions?" Kai asked.

"Wouldn't you be?" Elsa answered. "He told Anna that sob story about his childhood and the tragedy with our parents. That doesn't mean he's changed. He can still be trying to get at Arendelle. And Anna..." she shook her head. "He's got Anna hooked like before. She's just too trusting for her own good."

"What do we do then?"

"Keep Anna away from court for now. Guard her and makes sure she gets no letters from anyone unless they go through me first. I want any news about Hans' movements immediately. I've heard rumors, unsubstantiated yet but they say that the reason why Sweden switched sides was because the British promised them Norway."

"Taking Norway would mean they can cross over and take Arendelle as well," Kai concluded.

Elsa nodded grimly. "Exactly my thoughts. Hans now heads the Swedish army. I don't believe that's a coincidence. An army by his side may just be the beginning, Kai. If he does come to Arendelle, he can be a bigger threat to us than he was the first time he came here."

Stockholm, Sweden

March 1, 1813

Hans paused from the reading the report on his desk to glower at it.

Whoever wrote this had a horrible sense of unprofessionalism. The report was suitable enough if it had just stuck to facts, but describing the Queen of Arendelle as the "Evil Witch of the North" was low. It smacked of unfounded prejudice and ignorance.

If Hans had the time he would trace whoever wrote this and give him a good thrashing. However, the report did provide distasteful confirmation that Elsa's reputation continued to descend into infamy. Whoever was behind these slanders was doing their work efficiently. By discrediting Elsa, the Northern Isles nobles may no longer see her as their potential Queen in replacement of their good-for-nothing crown prince. He feared that the Northern Isles court may be planning to get rid of both Elsa and Knudsvig at the same time and push for a new ruler among themselves.

Hans crumpled the report in his frustration and had half a mind to throw it into the fire in his grate. He refrained from doing so and instead sat back on his chair. He heaved a deep sigh. His heart ached for Elsa and for Anna who must be so worried for her sister. It's been weeks since he and Anna parted ways so horribly. Odds are, Kristoff was most likely dead and no one would ever know Hans had a role in letting him get away. Since Anna never read his letter, she would forever assume he had executed her husband in cold blood. She would never forgive him.

The pain in the loss of his friendship with Anna was something that surprised him. When they first met again at the hospital, he found little had changed with her. She was still in many ways the naïve little girl he first met who believed in true love and fairy tales. He considered her an annoyance which he expected he would not have to endure for long. He was counting on dying in that hospital.

Yet something happened in that hospital. And it was not just me defeating death. What is it about her that made me want to see her as something more than an annoying presence? When did she even stop being an annoying presence?

He could not really pinpoint the time he stopped tolerating her and began to genuinely enjoy her company. She had effectively inserted herself into his life so subtly he did not even see the signs. The realization that he even cared for her only came to him on the day his brother Holford arrived just before Christmas to give him Caleb's orders to seduce Elsa. He only fully grasped his feelings for Anna well after he had roped Holford into erasing Kristoff's court martial records. His self-reflection after he made that action made him admit to himself that he was at least fond of her.

In the days when they were together in Denmark and he had withheld the information about her husband, he kept telling himself it was that fondness that made him want to protect her from the truth that could hurt her. However, it was the anguish he felt from the loss of her friendship after she found out about his involvement in Kristoff's court martial that really forced him to own up and give his feelings a proper name.

I love her.

The irony was not lost to him that he had once mocked her for thinking herself in love with him. Now that he felt the same, he had lost her completely.

It's Anna's revenge, he figured. The karma is real and I deserve her disdain. I was never meant to be a part of her life. The only thing I am capable of giving her is pain.

He decided after his failed attempt to write to her that it was best that he would stay away. However, it did not stop him from trying to get any news he could about her. He had heard from reports from friends that she had safely arrived in Arendelle but there was little else he could glean about her personal situation. He had sent a letter to his brother Lars a week ago to ask for any information but his letter had gone unanswered. So now he had to be content with reading the official reports he was getting from Swedish intelligence.

His new position as head of the Swedish military was one he could not complain about. The invitation from his former commanding officer, Prince Carl John to come to Sweden came with little surprise. He knew the former French General Jean Baptiste Bernadotte was looking to turn against Emperor Bonaparte soon. He knew the invitation to move to Sweden came with an offer to switch sides. Hans felt no loyalty to the French Emperor and would sooner pick the opposing side just as his other brothers had done. He had no qualms either of discarding his Southern Isles citizenship. When Prince Carl John offered him Swedish citizenship, Hans took it without hesitation. His brother Caleb would most likely have his pardon rescinded and have him arrested for deserting the French army. However, he knew that Caleb would be allying with the Sixth Coalition soon enough and it would make little difference which king Hans served. He was going to take the Swedish general position for as long as he could get.

A knock came upon his door and interrupted his thoughts. That would be the Lieutenant with my next set of orders. Perhaps this next battle will be my last wherever it is Prince Carl John is sending me.

He bade whoever it was to come in. However, it wasn't the lieutenant at all. Hans was startled when another familiar face appeared and he immediately glowered.

"What are you doing here Leif?"

The older man paced across the room as if he owned it. "Is that the way you greet your older brother Hans?" he asked haughtily.

Hans felt the sting of disappointment clench at him as he immediately knew why one of his least favorite brothers was here. Well so much for the Swedish general position then. Not even one battle and Caleb's taking me back to serve his will. Well we'll see about this. Prince Carl John isn't exactly going to give me up that easily and I'm certainly not going to make this easy for Leif.

"Spare me the insults Leif. We're not children anymore. Just get on with it. Are you here to drag me back to the Southern Isles because I disappointed Caleb?"

"Disappointed?" Leif gave him a puzzled look before he gave a hearty laugh then headed towards the claret of brandy on the side table of Hans' office. Hans expected he would be running out alcohol before this encounter was over. His tenth oldest brother had a habit of drinking heavily and he never needed an invitation to start helping himself to anyone's bottle. Leif inspected the claret first and nodded with satisfaction before he continued speaking. "On the contrary Hans, Caleb couldn't be more pleased with you. You managed to put yourself back into a strategic position when you hit a snag in winning a place in Arendelle. You're not to blame of course. Caleb knows Holford failed to erase that file that revealed to Princess Anna the rather unsavory role you had in her husband's unfortunate end."

Hans grimaced but said nothing. For now it was in his and Elsa's best interests to let Caleb think he had executed Kristoff. Caleb couldn't possibly send him back to prey on Elsa now after that fiasco. It was the only good thing about letting Anna think he was a murderer.

"General in the Swedish army," Leif said as he poured two glasses of brandy and handed him one. "Who would have believed it? I certainly didn't think you would have the audacity Hans and neither did most of our brothers. In this instance I happily admit I was wrong. You're not totally a useless unlucky runt of the litter."

Hans accepted the glass and drank it to steel himself from responding. Leif had a certain talent for flattering him and insulting him at the same time. It was one of his games even way back when they were children. As a child desperate for praise and attention, he had often fell prey to Leif's seeming flatteries until his brother pulled the rug under him and he realized he was being mocked. Leif was baiting him again and he wasn't falling for it.

"What do you want Leif? Why are you here?"

A split-second frown creased Leif's face but it was gone in an instant. "So serious little brother. I was just dolling out praise for once." He gulped down his own drink and poured himself another.

"I don't need praises, not from you or any of our brothers. Just get to the point. Why are you here?"

"Fine. You're no fun. Caleb sent me to formalize an alliance with Sweden. The Southern Isles is joining this coalition against Napoleon. And you little brother have a role in it."

"I want no part of this..."

"Tut! Tut! Tut! Just hear me out," he gulped his drink and settled for a third serving. "You'll want to know..."

"No, I don't want to know!" Hans said impatiently. "I'm a Swedish citizen now. If Caleb wants me back to be his pawn, he can take it up with my king."

Leif merely sniggered. "Caleb's one step ahead of you, Hans, He already has and the King of Sweden and Prince Carl John agreed. In fact they're convinced you are the perfect man for this job. If you don't believe me, wait a few hours and I'm sure your orders will be coming in soon to confirm what I say."

Hans felt a bead of sweat on his forehead trickle down to his sideburns. He didn't think Caleb would even bother to protest his citizenship change after he failed so grandly to get to Elsa but apparently Caleb was determined to make his life miserable. Why couldn't just Caleb leave me alone!

"So you're here to drag me back to await punishment as Caleb sees fit unless I do what he wants. What is it then?"

Leif gave him one of his annoying satisfied smiles. "It's a simple matter Hans, and it's something you can do in your new role as Swedish army general. You are aware the reason why Sweden has switched sides."

"A number of reasons, but the one without euphemism is it wants Norway," Hans said simply.

"Precisely," Leif nodded as he turned over his again empty glass. Hans had already lost count how much Leif had drunk so far. But from the level of liquid left on his claret, he could tell it was quite a lot by now. However, Leif could hold his drink and Hans knew he might as well finish that bottle. His brother wouldn't even feel tipsy by then. "The map of Europe will be redrawn before this year ends. Emperor Bonaparte had his time controlling what he could, but once he's out of the picture, we can expect nations will be making power grabs left and right. Sweden is already flexing its muscles to get ahead of the game. Norway is just the first stop. Denmark, the Southern Isles, the Northern Isles, Skaagen, Arendelle and Weselton they're all there for the taking. Caleb's already securing the survival of the Southern Isles by joining in."

"I'm quite aware of that," Hans replied. "The Southern Isles allies right now to Sweden and it keeps its independence. It's the best deal Caleb could get among the super power nations in the region. Prussia and Austria wouldn't give Caleb that choice."

"Right you are Hans. Sweden's a rather reasonable nation and would prefer meeting state heads in negotiation tables rather than in battlefields. So it is with quite great pleasure that Caleb received news of your new position. As a Swedish general, you can help liberate these little nations from the French then help bring them in so to speak."

"So I'm being sent out to negotiate?" Hans asked hopefully.

"Something like that," Leif replied. "The best way to term it is to secure a nation with a particularly valuable asset before Napoleon realizes it can be used. He's losing this war and eventually he may be desperate enough to use this one. You need to be able to occupy that nation with your regiments to ensure France doesn't get its hands on it."

Hans didn't buy Leif's sugar coating one bit. He was being sent out to invade and control a country. He didn't like it but he knew it was necessary to win the war against France. "So which valuable asset is it?" he asked. "Skaagen's ports? The Northern Isles' trading posts?"

"Neither," Leif laughed with a swig from his refilled glass. "Oh you are going to love this one Hans." He filled up the glass but didn't drink it. He handed it to Hans. "Arendelle's Queen."

"What?" he gasped as he nearly dropped his glass.

"Surely you know first-hand what Queen Elsa can do. An unexpected winter just like what happened to Russia would bring any army to its knees. Napoleon has seen how crippling extreme weather can be in his last defeat. He would be stupid not to realize this and even stupider if he doesn't use what he already has to bring his enemies down. Since we both know Napoleon is not stupid I would bet an entire year's supply of brandy the French are already on their way to Arendelle to have Queen Elsa set as their secret weapon. You need to get there before they do."

Hans felt his blood turn cold at his brother's audacity. "You want me to invade Arendelle with the Swedish army?!"

"Now Hans, let's not use such unpleasant terms. It's not an invasion. You will come there and peacefully occupy Arendelle to protect its citizens and its crown from this conflict in Europe. France would probably not even give them that option."

"Why me?" Hans exclaimed. "You know my history with her. She would never agree to meet me."

"I'm sure you can smooth things over with her eventually," Leif lazily replied." If not, there's always the Swedish regiment. That will give her the incentive to switch alliances to the Coalition."

"So you're sending me there to take her country hostage to force her to bend to the will of the Coalition?" Hans bristled.

"Again Hans, such rough words. You only need to persuade her. An alliance with the Coalition is best for her people. And you need to ensure that happens in the long run for the Southern Isles. An ability like hers is an asset we need to secure permanently."

"So I'm back on the original plan of getting her with child and passing it as Knudvig's as Caleb wanted? Do you think that after all we've been through and all that I will do to her country, Elsa will even want to share a bed with me?"

"Now hold on Hans, no one is telling you to bed Elsa. Not anymore. Caleb's had that planned scratched. Even he isn't that cruel after what Lars told him."

"What do you mean?" Hans asked.

Leif no longer bothered to pour the brandy. He took the claret and took a swig from it. "Here's a funny little story Lars told. Remember he was there during Elsa's and Knudsvig's wedding? Lars said he and his wife Amelia burst into the newlyweds' bedchamber on their wedding night less than an hour after they retired when they heard Knudsvig screaming."

"The idiot bastard was drunk that night," Hans reasoned. "He was probably lost in his own fantasies thinking someone stole his alcohol," he added with a pointed smirk at Leif's take on the bottle.

Leif ignored the jibe at his drink. "Oh but it wasn't drunk screaming. Lars said he was hollering out and thrashing like a wild animal. And he was doing it with reason as Lars found out."

Leif almost giggled like a teenager about to let out a juicy secret that Hans realized his brother was already getting slightly inebriated. "Go on," Hans encouraged.

Leif let out a snort. "The Snow Queen iced his pride and joy."

"His what?" Hans asked before the meaning of his brother's words sank in. Leif however, was not one for subtle hints. He went on to elaborate:

"That's right, you heard me! Lars said Knudsvig was screaming like hell on earth because he was frozen right there. Didn't you ever wonder why the rumors say Knudsvig never wanted to even be near his wife? There's your answer: he learned the hard way the Snow Queen can never be intimate with a man without turning his manhood into a popsicle. Lars said it was probably best he and Amelia interrupted when they did or Knudsvig would have lost the appendage. Could you imagine the horror of having to sew it back on after they thaw it? No wonder the poor man had hit Elsa so hard she was black and blue when Amelia found her."

Hans fought back the urge to hit his own brother as Leif burst into uncontrollable laughter. There was nothing funny about the story as he realized the extent of Elsa's suffering.

"Hans, Caleb is not going to order you to bed Elsa. Not anymore after he heard that," Leif assured him. "We've all heard the rumors that she's barren, but with Lars attesting to it, it can only be true. She wouldn't be able to produce an heir and you would probably lose a valuable asset if you tried."

"Thanks for the concern," Hans replied bitingly.

"Still, she needs to be controlled. Fortunately, you don't have to sleep with her to do that. There is a more effective way to keep her under your thumb. You need to secure her weakness."

Hans was puzzled. "Weakness? What do you mean? Queen Elsa's powers are unique, there is no known power similar to hers that can counteract it."

"Oh Hans how unimaginative you can be. Queen Elsa herself has declared what really made her control her powers after your failed attempt to execute her. Quite simply, it is two things: love and fear. Possess the one thing she loves most and she'll fear you."

"The one thing she loves..." Hans gasped as he felt ill at what his brother just revealed. No! This isn't what I want! I want to be with her but not this way!

"She's the perfect choice Hans," Leif went on. "She has already proven to be fertile so you won't have a trouble in that department. She's also rather impressionable, not too bright. I'm sure you can worm back into her good graces given time. If she's not willing, I'm sure you can put pressure on her through her people to marry you. Now isn't it rather fortunate you already made Princess Anna a widow?"