Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Yes, I know I should be working on the second chappie of Darkness, Light, Sugar and Pranks, but as I was starting it, in my notebook, I kinda got distracted. And I have no idea why, but I started to write this instead. Gomen! I have actually started on the second chapter, I just haven't finished it yet… Anyway, here's my latest attempt at fan fiction!

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

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Chapter 1 – Staring

He's nervous.

Uncomfortable?

Yes.

Definitely uncomfortable.

Heh. Who'd have though it? My Yami, the very meaning of darkness, the one who would cause the manliest of men to run away screaming with a simple, malicious smirk, nervous because of me – His girly, weakling hikari.

Then again, I think I might be staring slightly.

Okay, so maybe I'm gawking, but who wouldn't?

My extremely sexy Yami is stood there in nothing but a towel, his silvery-white hair is dripping wet, and his bangs are covering his dark chocolate eyes slightly. I'm guessing blocking some of his eyesight.

I hope so; I believe I'm drooling.

But I know he can tell I'm staring at him, hell, even naïve little Yugi would be able to tell I'm staring at him. Nothing against the kid, but he is just so blind!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes… staring.

I can see his muscles, too. His well-formed stomach and his strong arms…

Oh my, I think I'm going to faint.

I really should stop staring now, he doesn't look too happy. He looks… scared? He can't be scared! Fear isn't in his vocabulary. But if it were, the definition would be something along the lines of "Baka Pharoah and his Ra-damned puzzle of doom".

Hmm. Now he's clinging to the towel as if he's afraid I'm going to snatch it out of his hands. I wonder what he'd look without it, though… No! Bad Ryou! Naughty Ryou!

My hand twitches slightly, slowly moving upwards as if having a mind of its own. Luckily, I notice this and quickly slapped it back down with my other hand. Earning a raised eyebrow from Bakura.

'Baka!' I yell at myself. What was I going to do, grope him? Even though the idea sounded appealing, I like living, you know.

\\What was that?\\

Oh shit. Stupid Ryou! How could you forget that he can read your thoughts?

My thoughts?!

Shit, shit, shit!

You may not think this to look at me, but I have quite a perverted mind. Most of that pervertedness is directed at, yup, you guessed it, Mr. Sexy over there.

\\…Ryou?\\

For a being of darkness he sure as hell didn't sound intimidating just then.

\Uh, yes Yami?\

\\Did you just call me a baka?\\

I just stand there with my mouth slightly open. I probably somewhat resemble a fish.

\…What?\

You are a genius, Ryou! Pure genius!

\\You just called me a baka.\\

Okay, now he sounded a teensy bit scarier, then. What with the growling and baring of fangs and all.

\I did?\

That's better! The tilting of the head and the puppy-dog eyes. He's sure to believe me!

\\Yes. You called me a baka.\\

I don't think he's buying it. Damn him. I'm his cute, innocent, naïve hikari! Just because I'm lying right now, it doesn't mean he shouldn't believe me!

\I don't remember doing such a thing, Yami. Why would I call you a baka?\

When in doubt, deny, deny, deny! I've turned my puppy-dog eyes on to maximum cuteness and I'm smiling sweetly, head still tilted.

He narrows his eyes. \\You tell me.\\

ARGH! He's impossible!

'Paranoid baka!!' I scream in my head.

Aren't I a clever little hikari?

'Whoops…'

"Ryou…" He growls, only this time out loud.

I sigh loudly and just look – Yes, look! Not stare! – blankly at him and shrug. "I can't help it. I'm mentally unstable. The doctors said I only have one week to live."

Considering the expression on his face I'd say it worked. He is definitely confused. I guess he's all brawn and no brains – I can live with that. Without waiting for him to answer, I turn round and walk downstairs, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

I groan once I realize why I'd gone upstairs in the first place. I really needed to pee!

Grumbling the words "Idiot," and, "Dumbass," to myself, I trudge back upstairs.

"Hikari?"

Uh oh. He's growling. Again. I swear, he must have been a dog in his past life or something. And yes, his bite is as bad as his bark. Not that he's actually bitten me or anything. Well, not in the real world, just in Ryou's pathetic little world of perversion.

"Yes, Yami?" I squeak.

Oh yeah, the 'I'm-a-weak-pathetic-fool-please-please-don't-kill-me' voice. That'll work.

"Why do you keep calling me a baka and a dumbass? What the hell did I do to you? You like living, don't you?"

I gulp and slowly turn around to face him. Even though, technically, I'd done nothing wrong, his glare is just so scary! At least he's wearing clothes now. Even though he looks sexy wearing anything, especially his trademark leather pants with a white shirt. Though I guess I'm only saying that because that's what he's wearing right now. But I'll bet he'll look even sexier wearing nothing. Ack, I'm such a pervert!

"No, no! I wasn't calling you a baka or a dumbass!" I protest, my voice still sounding like a ten year old girl on helium. (A/N: Hehe…Original, ne?)

Hey, it's the truth. He doesn't seem to believe me, though. If he narrows his eyes any more he'll look like that Brock dude from Pokemon.

"Who were you saying it to, then? Yourself?" He snorted.

I blink. "Yes."

Honesty's my middle name. Yep. Ryou Honesty Bakura. That's me.

The look on his face is so adorable! He looks so confused it's almost cute. Almost. He's too dark and sexy to be cute. That's more my forte.

"Ryou, you worry me. I think–"

"Hai, hai. That's great, Bakura. Now if you'll excuse–"

"Don't you dare interrupt me, hikari!" He snarled.

Hey, he interrupted me, too! That's not fair. Why is he allowed to do that? Oh yeah. He could snap me in two with his bare hands…

"Demo –"

"No buts! I'm the stronger and the smarter of the two of us…"

I snorted at the last comment. Smarter? I don't think so. Though maybe snorting at him was a bad idea, he's giving me a really nasty look. Oh well, it's not like looks can kill… But he can. He's still rambling on about something, but I don't really think it's worth my time. It's probably something to do with me being weird, weak, pathetic, cute… Wait? Cute?! He just said I'm cute?! I stare at him, wide-eyed, and I'm guessing my mouth is open pretty wide right now, too.

"…But not in a good way! You're all prissy and girly, and I'll bet most girls think you're gay." He snapped quickly.

Is he blushing? Nah, I think it's just my desperate mind making me see things I want to. He's right, though, girls do think I'm gay. But…I am gay. I'd like to see his face when I told him that.

He frowned. "And what's more–"

"Demo… Bakuraaaa." I whine, somewhat sounding like a little child.

"Stop interrupting me, damn it! I'm trying to–"

"Iie, you don't unders–"

"SHUT UP!" He yelled.

Ouch, my ears. Damn his voice is loud… and scary… and extremely intimidating.  I growl despite my current, terrified position – very un-Ryou like.

"IIE! YOU SHUT UP! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU POLITELY BUT YOU WON'T LISTEN!" I shout, extremely frustrated at my Yami.

Since he's not saying anything I guess it's rude of me not to continue, right? Better pretend to be all tough so he doesn't beat me to a pulp before I even reach the bathroom.

"I REALLY NEED TO PEE!!!"

Ahaha. That definitely shut up him. Now he's just standing there with a shocked expression on his face, and this time I'm not imagining it – He is blushing! I do another un-Ryou like thing and smirk at my flustered Yami.

"Now if you will kindly excuse me."

I turn round and walk proudly to the bathroom, trying not to laugh. I can feel the embarrassment through our link. Although I was extremely proud of myself for standing up to Bakura… I was slightly afraid of what he'd do to me once he'd recovered from his shock due to my very uncharacteristic outburst.

Hell, I was terrified.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where is he?" I mumble to myself while searching the corridor for any signs of a pissed off loony with a knife or some such weaponry. Sure that he wasn't there, I crept out of the bathroom as quietly as I could. I glance to my left where my room is. I could always make a run for it, but then he'd hear me… But if I didn't, and he was in fact upstairs somewhere, he could easily pounce on me and… BAD RYOU! Stop thinking dirty thoughts! He'll kill you, you baka!

…Wait. I could have sworn I heard something. If Bakura is lurking in the shadows, I swear to Kami-sama that I'll…I'll…aw, hell, I don't know! …Run for my life?

"B-bakura?" I call out meekly. "A-are y-you there?"

I'm the brave and mighty Ryou Honesty Bakura. I'm not scared of anything. If a big scary monster jumped at me in a dark ally and threatened to devour my soul I'd simply laugh in its face. Yeah… I am not afraid.

I slowly tip toe across the corridor towards my room, silently praying Bakura has gone out to torment some poor souls in a retirement home or something.

"I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I am not afraid." I mumble to myself reassuringly.

"Like hell you're not!" He snarls.

My eyes widen and I turn round quickly to come face-to-face with my Yami, who currently had a look of amusement and menace on his face. I 'eep' and back away from him as quickly as I can. My eyes widen as I realized he did have a knife with him. HE WAS GOING TO STAB ME?! I was utterly terrified. The corridor started to swirl and my vision went funny. All I saw was Bakura's evil smirk before everything went dark.

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Hehehe! Did Bakura stab Ryou?! Aw, come on. You know and I know and Bakura knows that he didn't! What kind of authoress would I be if I killed Ryou off straight away? Well, what did you think? If you have any suggestions, feel free. But I'm trying to concentrate on Bakura and Ryou throught the fic. Now I have two fics to keep up with. Sorry if there are any errors or anything! I had to upload this quickly without checking it 'cause of my nagging sister. R and R,

Arigato! ^_^