A/N Vampire lemons ahead, you've been warned.

Previously

'Fuck.' She murmurs, 'How do we…stop?'

I grin at her, bendin' down to kiss her languidly, rubbin' my tongue against hers.

She moans, clenchin' down on me and I shudder.

'We don't.' I manage to say.

I take my time this time, fuckin' her slow and deep, until she screams my name in ecstasy.

Chapter 12

Bella

I stare up at the sky.

It's dark, but morning is coming, the great black is fading into a deep blue.

My head is on Peter's stomach, and I'm purring softly as he gently runs his fingers through my hair.

We're naked, our clothes in shreds somewhere a few miles away.

'Are those planets?' I ask Peter as it suddenly occurs to me that the bright orange shape I'm looking at isn't a star.

His stomach vibrates as he laughs softly. 'Yes.'

'Wow.' I breathe out. 'It's so beautiful, I can't believe that humans don't see this.'

Peter chuckles, 'Ever heard of a telescope darlin'?'

I smack his chest. 'You know what I mean.'

I twist my head to stare up at him and he smirks at me, his crimson eyes sparkling.

Desire snaps through me as my eyes drop to his perfect mouth and I move to straddle him, my hands resting on the forest floor as I dip my head to kiss him.

Peter groans into my mouth, shifting me on his lap so his thick erection is pressing right against my bare and aching center.

I whimper, rubbing myself against him, my body shuddering at the pleasure the simple action creates.

Peter's hand tangles in my hair roughly and he flips our bodies, spreading my legs with his hand as he nestles between them, his fingers finding my slick center easily.

I moan into his mouth as he kisses me deeply, his tongue licking up mine sensually.

My body convulses as his thumb presses into the swollen nub between my legs and I tear my mouth from his to cry out in pleasure.

He starts kissing his way down my neck and I arch my back in ecstasy as his tongue flicks over his bite.

'Mmmm, please.' I pant.

Peter removes his fingers and slowly slides inside of me, sinking his teeth into his mark.

The combination of feeling him inside of me, so thick and hard, and the sharp pain and overwhelming pleasure of his teeth in my neck sends me over the edge.

My body stiffens and arches up of the floor, my climax wrenching through me with so much intensity I scream.

'Jesus Christ.' Peter snarls, slamming my hands above my head. 'Oh fuck.'

'Peter.' I whimper.

'Fuck.' He growls, dropping his head to kiss me fiercely.

I wrap my legs around his waist, rocking my body with his, shuddering as his mouth descends to my breasts, his tongue soft and wet against my hard nipples.

Every single part of my skin feels like it's electrified, like he's touching every nerve in my body.

'Oh…god.' I cry as Peter's hand moves between our bodies, finding that place that makes my pleasure skyrocket.

The sound of his deep groans and growls in my ears makes me feel like I'm drowning in desire and all I can do is cry out his name as I fall over the edge again, waves and waves of pleasure stretching through my body and making my toes curl.

Peter swiftly follows me and I wrap my legs around him more tightly as I feel him release inside of me.

He groans into my neck, his tongue running along the skin there and I shiver, unattaching our bodies and flipping us, pinning his arms above his head.

He growls low in his throat and I press my mouth to his, arching my back in pleasure as his thick length makes contact with my aching center. Just as he's about to enter me Peter pulls his hands from my grip, twisting our bodies so he's pinning me to the floor, his hips poised above mine. I lift myself to try to meet him but he shakes his head at me.

'You have to hunt.' He says with a teasing smile.

Suddenly my throat feels like it's on fire and my hands grab it, venom filling my mouth.

Peter gives me a knowing look.

'I forgot.' I say in shock, a grimace appearing on my face.

Ow.

Peter grins, 'I know ya did darlin'. Which is actually kind of suprisin'. Newborns are ruled by blood and sex, and always in that order.'

I smile coyly, 'Maybe they just didn't have the right kind of temptation.'

He winks at me, then swallows, his playful expression dropping from his handsome face.

'Sugar…I need to hunt too.'

My stomach drops as I realise what that means.

'Oh.' I bite my lip, looking down. 'You're leaving me?'

Peter growls softly, his hand tightening possessively on my waist. 'No.'

As soon as I look up at him and meet his crimson gaze I'm on top of him again, kissing him roughly.

Peter whimpers into my mouth, his hand tangling in my hair as he sucks at my tongue.

I pull back from him with difficulty, the severe burn in my throat aiding my self-control.

Peter swallows, his eyes black as he looks up at me.

'What do we do?' I ask him, biting my lip.

Peter sighs softly. 'I could try and drink animal blood.'

'No.' I tell him, shaking my head. 'You don't have to do that for me. Besides, human blood will heal you quicker.'

Peter studies me, breathing out slowly. 'Fuck Bella I don't think I can leave you. I can't be away-'

'I know.' I interrupt, placing my hand on his heart. 'Me neither.'

The thought of being away from Peter fills my body with an uncomfortable, painful ache. I came too close to losing him, the panic still fresh. I hold him tightly and his fingers dig into my sides, like he's scared to let go.

His eyes search mine and he frowns. 'If we hunt for you first, and you promise to hold your breath, I can… take you with me.' He grimaces. 'It's a lot of control for a newborn, you might not be able to do it. There's some houses out here that are pretty remote so I can find someone…' Peter licks his lips and I shiver at the bloodlust in his eyes. I feel it too, heat thrumming through my body at the thought of fresh blood.

Peter cups my face, his eyes flashing with discomfort. 'I'll try to find someone old, close to death or…someone that would die anyway. But I might not be able to Bella. I can't risk looking closer to the city, it'll be too tempting for you.'

'I understand.' I say shakily.

Peter nods at me and then smiles.

I feel my lower stomach tighten as I stare into his crimson eyes and shiver, my eyelids growing heavy with arousal.

Peter hums in his throat.

'Fuck I want you.' He murmurs, his nose skimming my jaw. 'I'll never get enough.'

I moan in response, my hands sliding down his muscled back.

Suddenly Peter jumps up, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a run beside him.

I giggle as we hit full speed, then growl savagely as the scent of fresh blood crosses my range.

I can't tell what it is only that I need it.

Blood lust takes over and I'm vaguely aware of Peter behind me as I chase, snap, drink, hot blood pouring down my throat.

It will never taste as good as human blood, but I'm so thirsty.

I drop the carcass and keep running, finding another, a deer this time.

There's energy, thrumming through my veins, knowing that Peter is with me, that he's watching me hunt. The taste of blood on my tongue only heightens my arousal and I can smell Peter's, musky and tantilising.

The next animal I take down struggles violently as I drink, it's fear only intensifying the taste.

It's gone in a few seconds and then I'm tearing through the trees, a deeper muskier scent guiding me.

I glance back at Peter, shivering at the evidence of his arousal as it rests thickly on his stomach.

Something is building in my gut, the blood mingling with my desire for Peter in a seductive and primal way that threatens to bring me to climax without him even touching me.

Peter growls, low in his throat as I soar through the air towards my next kill and the sound makes my nipples harden, a jolt of desire snapping down my spine. The beast fights me hard, teeth chewing uselessly at my skin, and we go rolling though the forest for a while before I snap its neck, my teeth sinking into warm flesh, pure pleasure flooding my limbs at the taste of blood.

My body is tingling, the arousal in my gut continually building as I drink. I moan, clutching the animal closer.

I feel Peter's naked, firm body cover mine from behind and snarl savagely into the animal as he grips my hips and slides inside of me. The feel of Peter's thick length driving into me at the same time as the hot blood slides down my throat, creates a sensory overload that sends me careening into my climax so intensely that I unlatch my teeth from the animal and scream in ecstasy.

Peter roars behind me, his teeth sinking into my neck and sucking as he releases inside of me.

It's not enough and I push the animal aside, bloodlust forgotten, the need for my mate stronger than anything else.

'Fuck.' I whimper, pushing my hips back into Peter's body. 'More.'

He groans low in his throat. 'Mmm.' The sound makes me shiver and I arch my back, planting myself on my hands and knees, circling my hips with a low groan.

'Peter.' I whimper, he's so deep like this and my body feels like it's being electrified.

'Christ.' He growls. 'Fuck I…mmm.' His hands cup my breasts, my nipples pressing into them firmly as his lips brush my back.

He rocks himself forwards with a snarl and we both cry out. 'Ugh we should stop…I need to hunt Bella.'

'Peter. Fuck me.' I gasp. 'Please.'

'Ugh.' Peter growls, 'You feel so fuckin' good darlin' I can't…'

'Please.' I moan, my head tossing from side to side as his fingers rub against my nipples.

He gives in, a deep rumbling growl building in his chest as he starts slamming into me.

I snarl in pleasure as his hands move to my hips, pulling my body back to his violently as he relentlessly drives his body into mine, groaning low in his throat.

'I'm…I'm…Peter.' I cry out, my body spasming wildly as my vision goes completely white. Waves and waves of pleasure tear through my body.

'Ah fuck, Bella.' Peter bellows.

I can tell he's close so I unattach our bodies and twist, slamming him into the forest floor as I kiss him fiercely.

He groans, his hand tangling in my hair.

I nip his neck and Peter throws his head back, a low groan reverberating through his chest.

I continue kissing my way down his body, biting the indentations in his stomach and smoothing my tongue over the marks that cover his skin.

They're slightly rough against my tongue and I tremble.

'Fuck….' He pants as I run my tongue along the V in his hips.

I meet his black eyes as my mouth wraps around his hard length.

Peter's eyes roll back in his head and he growls low in his throat. 'Fuck. Me.'

I can taste both of us on him but it only makes me feel more aroused, the space between my legs tingling as I suck him, using my hand to touch the areas that don't fit in my mouth.

Peter's deep groans make me shudder and it's not long before he's arching his back, his beautiful mouth opening in a loud snarl of pleasure.

I hum in satisfaction, letting him leave my mouth with a pop and he looks down at me, his chest rising and falling heavily.

'Fuck.' He murmurs, tangling his hand in my hair. 'I love you so fuckin' much.'

I crawl up his body and kiss him, sliding my tongue into his mouth.

Peter groans roughly and I shudder.

'I want you again.' I whimper.

'Fuck I know.' Peter says against my lips, tightening his hand in my hair. 'I could stay inside you all fuckin' day beautiful.'

He pulls back and kisses my jaw, his dark eyes staring into mine apologetically. 'But I really need to hunt.'

I run my fingers over the shadows under his eyes and nod. 'I'm sorry. I know you do.'

Peter smiles at me, his eyes closing as my thumbs stroke his cheeks. 'Don't be sorry for wantin' me.'

I laugh softly, kissing his nose. 'I'll never be sorry for wanting you baby. But I am sorry you're thirsty and I attacked you.'

Peter smirks, his eyes opening, the crimson making my chest flutter.

'I think I might have attacked ya first.'

I grin and he strokes my hair behind my ear. 'I'm so fuckin' in love with you, you know that?'

'I love you more.' I say in a slightly choked voice, the weight of my emotions for Peter making me tremble.

He swallows roughly, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to mine.

'You're mine.' I murmur, a purr building in my chest.

Peter echoes the noise, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. 'And you're mine.'

X

My fingers tingle in nervous anticipation as Peter and I make our way closer to the edges of the forest, searching for a human for him to hunt.

I feel sloshy and full, having grabbed another buck a few moments before, but I'm not sure if it will stop me from wanting to drink human blood when Peter does.

He comes to a stop suddenly and grabs me tightly from behind.

I freeze as I breathe in the intoxicating scent of human blood.

I snarl and pull against Peter's hold for a second but when he places a kiss at my throat I stop struggling and hold my breath.

'Good girl.' He coos appreciatively in my ear.

My body trembles in response to his words and I feel him smile against my throat.

The quicker he hunts. The quicker he can be inside of me again.

I cock my head to the side as I listen.

'We're lucky, it's a male, maybe 30.' Peter murmurs in my ear. 'There's a lot of blood, he must be hurt. Bella, he might be a good guy and he might survive if I don't kill him. Are you sure you're okay with this?.'

I swallow, being careful not to breathe. I know he drinks from humans. I know that he tries to go for the people who are bad or hurt first but I also know he doesn't really care that much.

I've come to terms with what he does. That he's a human drinker.

But can I be there when he does it?

Knowing it happens and actually being present, being part of it…it's different.

Peter moves away from my body and cups my face in his hands.

'I don't have to do this.' He says seriously into my eyes. 'I can try and hunt an animal, or I can find someone else.'

'No.' I say softly, accidentally breathing.

Immediately the scent of fresh blood washes over me and my stomach drops out, bloodlust filling me with hot anticipation.

Peter grabs me tightly as I growl and fight against his hold.

'Shh now. Hold your breath darlin'.' He says, forcing my face so I'm looking into his eyes.

I do as he says but my body trembles.

'You're doin' so fuckin' well sugar, I'm so proud of you.' Peter states, kissing my cheek.

I stare into my mate's blood red eyes. There are dark shadows surrounding the sockets and he looks tired.

The amount of venom he's lost through the attack and then through our lovemaking has left him vulnerable.

What if she comes back? And he can't protect himself?

What if someone else attacks us? I need him safe.

No matter how I feel about killing humans, I care more about Peter than anything else.

I would do anything for him, sacrifice anyone.

The thought makes me shiver inside and I wonder if I really have become a monster, because I would kill for him, easily, and I don't think the human Bella would have been able to.

I push my thoughts out of my head, focusing on Peter.

His jaw is tight and I know he's starving, his throat must be on fire.

I place a kiss on his mouth and then nod at him, stepping out of his hold.

Peter nods solemnly back and kisses my cheek. 'Stay here darlin'. Don't breathe.'

I step back and hold the tree behind me, fighting the urge to move.

My control feels…okay. I want the human, but I'm more concerned that Peter drinks.

'Hello.' I hear Peter say in a strange tone.

'Help me.' A gasping voice replies. 'Please. Are you…why are you naked?'

'Shh.' Peter says soothingly. 'I'm here to help.'

'O-okay.'

'Close your eyes.' Peter says softly.

There's a crack and the heartbeat jumps around for a moment before it stops.

He must have snapped his neck.

The lack of emotion the action incites in me, disturbs me.

Then I can hear Peter drinking, swallowing, sucking.

I'm alarmed at how aroused I start to feel, listening to him, and venom floods my throat.

I desperately want to join him, to drink at the same time as him, taste the velvet, thick, aromatic human blood on my tongue.

He moans softly and my body trembles, my fingers digging into the wood behind me like it's playdoh.

I concentrate on the leaves above me, forcing myself not to go to him, to act on the desire that's flooding through my limbs.

When he appears in front of me, naked, blood dripping from his mouth I lose it.

I slam into his body, my mouth crashing to his fiercely.

Peter makes a noise of surprise and then responds eagerly, his hands going to my ass and squeezing tightly.

My eyes roll back into my head at the taste of the human blood on him, the flavor making my tongue tingle. It's so fucking decadent and sweet. I suck Peter's tongue moaning, greedily licking and sucking the blood from his mouth.

The act of taking the blood from him awakens a deep primal need inside of me and I attack him with vigour, jumping up into his arms as I open his jaw wider, my tongue searching his mouth roughly.

Peter snarls savagely and then slams me into a tree with his body. It groans from the force of our weight, a deep crack sounding within the trunk.

I barely notice, rubbing myself against his lower stomach, my arousal making our bodies slick.

I bite at his mouth, whimpering as the last of the blood leaves his tongue, my hands gripping his hair tightly.

He growls and I growl back, pushing him away from me and then jumping onto him, knocking him to the floor.

He snarls at me, but it's a teasing sound, throaty and full of desire.

I meet his black eyes for a moment and then I'm shifting my hips, crying out in pure ecstasy as I sink myself down onto his thick length.

Peter roars, a deep animalistic sound that makes the ground rumble and echoes around us.

His strong hands grip my hips hard as he drives up into me, slamming our bodies together roughly.

I'm delirious with pleasure, the sight of his muscled body laid out in front of me, driving me crazy.

Peter's glittering black eyes leave mine to stare at where we're joined and the deep groan he lets out makes me arch my back, my breasts feeling heavy with arousal as they bounce from our movements.

Peter licks his lips and then flips our bodies, hitching my thigh around his waist as he kneels in front of me, grunting as he fucks me hard.

He shifts our bodies and grabs my throat roughly, tightening his hand as he stares down at me. The feel of his strong fingers, wrapped around my throat floods my body with an even deeper arousal and I writhe on the forest floor as an orgasm comes out of nowhere, shrieking in pleasure.

Peter doesn't stop his hard thrusts and I rip his arm away from my throat, using it to twist us so I'm on top of him again.

One of his arms slams into the ground behind us so he stays sitting as I rock on top of him, running my tongue up his neck.

He throws his head back and roars as he comes deep inside of me and I keep moving my hips, tilting my head back too at the feel of his release coating my walls.

Peter groans, his mouth dropping to my chest and sucking and licking my nipples, his talented tongue making me cry out in pleasure.

His hand tangles in my hair as he gently rocks his hips up into me.

'Fuck.' He pants.

'Peter.' I whimper as he lifts his head and his mouth meets mine, his tongue tracing my lips before entering my mouth.

I cry out, my nails sinking into his shoulders. Peter shifts his hips, changing the angle of his thrusts and I pull back from him with a throaty moan, tightening my hold on him.

He smirks at me, moving his hand to my hip and encouraging a movement that's more, forwards and backwards than up and down. Immediately the pleasure reaches a new level, the friction of our bodies together creating a deliciously intense feeling between my legs.

'Holy fuck.' I growl.

Peter groans, licking up my neck. 'You like that darlin'?' He murmurs in my ear, his voice deep and husky.

'Mm Peter.' I pant. 'I'm gonna…'

I feel like I'm going to pee, like something deep inside of me is trembling and about to break.

Peter sucks on my neck and I scratch my nails down his back, my head tilting back to allow him more access.

'Fuck you look so beautiful right now.' He groans, 'So fuckin' sexy, ugh. You feel so good.'

I fall silent, my body too busy reacting to Peter's body and his words and the pleasure flooding through me to make a sound.

My thighs start trembling and Peter's teeth graze my neck, sharp but not enough to break the skin.

The pressure in my stomach is building and I start gasping as it reaches a point that takes over everything, stretching from my toes all the way to the top of my head.

I'm vaguely aware of myself screaming his name as I go tumbling over the edge, my vision going completely white as a pleasure, so intense and mind blowing that I lose all sense of who I am, floods through my body.

Just as my vision starts to return, I feel Peter's teeth sink into my throat and then it's back, searing through me again, even more intense than the first time.

He drinks from me, sucking my venom into his mouth and I come back to myself enough to move my head and bite him back, the taste of his venom on his tongue making me cry out in pleasure.

It's carnal and primal, tasting him as he tastes me, the feel of his mouth on my skin as he's inside me.

My body tenses in another orgasm as I feel him come, my thighs clenching tightly around his waist as our bodies rock together, riding out the last of our climaxes.

I run my tongue up his neck to seal the bite and he does the same to me, our mouths clashing together in a deep, sensual kiss that makes my toes curl.

We pull back and I drop my head to his shoulder, clutching at him tightly.

'Fuck.' Peter mutters, tangling a hand in my hair and lifting my head up to kiss me again, softly.

When he pulls back I bite my lip and he grins, tugging my lip from my teeth with his thumb and then gently biting it instead.

I moan softly and his eyes flash with playful humor as he pulls back.

Peter's thumb smooths across my jaw as he smiles at me.

I cup his cheek and kiss him again.

'I love you.' I breathe.

His cheeks are flushed with fresh blood and he looks even more gorgeous than usual.

Crimson eyes search mine before he breaks out in a breathtaking smile.

'I fuckin' love you.'

X

'Peter watch this.' I say giddily, climbing back up a tree.

We've been here for hours, Peter floating on his back in the clear water while I find new exciting ways to test my immortality.

I've discovered that the feeling of falling, despite being unbreakable, still fills me with a deep exhilaration and fear.

I'm addicted to it.

It makes me feel like I'm human, and I swear I can almost feel my heart racing in my chest as I fall, even though I know that's impossible.

Of course, I have to close my eyes, otherwise my mind processes the fall as more of a gentle drop and that's far less exciting.

The higher I go, the better it feels.

To my delight, though I can easily control my weight when I land, I can also let myself properly fall, and create a loud bang, and some damage, though only to my surroundings, never me.

I grin at Peter from the tree. He wasn't pleased when I created a Bella sized hole in the ground next to him.

I gently grab a branch as the tree sways in the wind. We're in the middle of nowhere, nothing but thick forest in every direction.

'Are you comin' darlin'?' Peter asks me, winking.

He pulls himself onto the bank and my eyes trail down his naked body greedily.

He's so gorgeous.

And he's so mine.

I jump up in the air, so I'm even higher than the tree, and let myself fall backwards, arms open to the sky as I close my eyes.

The wind whips past my face and I let out a yell of excitement, aware of Peter chuckling as I crash into the water heavily.

I use my strength to slow my descent, my hands brushing the rocky bottom before I swim up, breaking the surface with a grin.

Peter smirks at me as I swim towards him, his red eyes darkening.

I hold my hand out to him innocently and he takes it, his strong fingers gripping mine and pulling me slightly out the water.

I grin wickedly at him and he starts to laugh as I pull him towards me, sending both of us crashing back into the water.

We break the surface together and he cups my face in his hands, leaning in to kiss me.

As his lips mold to mine, I moan into his mouth, wrapping my legs around his waist as my tongue meets his.

Peter groans, pressing himself against me and I shiver with excitement as I rub myself against his hard length.

He pulls back to stare into my eyes, his eyelashes wet, droplets of water running down his pale skin.

I swallow heavily, my body tightening with desire, an ache building in the pit of my stomach.

'Fuck.' He mutters, swimming us to the shore and pulling our bodies out of the water, settling on top of me as his mouth meets mine in a deep, heated kiss.

My whole body arches up towards him as he kisses down my body, opening my thighs wide as his tongue makes contact with my aching core.

It's so wet and slightly rough and I slam my thighs either side of his head as I cry out, rocking my hips against him of their own accord.

Peter hums, the vibrations making me shudder, and then lifts up my body, moving us so he's lying on his back and I'm straddling his face.

I let out a shocked whimper and go to move off him but then his tongue is licking inside of me and I lose any remaining inhibition, my hands gripping his hair as he licks and sucks.

My climax builds in the pit of my stomach and just as I'm about to fall over the edge, Peter stops, nipping at my inner thigh lightly.

'Fuck.' I snarl in frustration.

He makes an amused sound in his throat, kissing up my thigh before starting to run his tongue up my folds again, his hands moving to squeeze my ass, effortlessly holding my body above his.

Once again, just as I'm about to reach my climax Peter pauses, only this time, instead of losing the sensation it just starts to build even more intensely in my gut. As his tongue returns to my center I get closer and closer to the edge, and then I fall.

My body spasms for what seems like hours and seconds all at the same time, the pleasure so intense I lose my mind.

As I finally stop twitching, Peter twists our bodies again, kissing up my stomach and then crashing his mouth to mine, the taste of my arousal all over his tongue.

I whimper into his neck and then throw my head back as I feel him, thick and hard at the entrance to my body. He slowly pushes inside of me, his mouth making a wet, tantilising trail down my neck and across my breasts. I moan as his tongue circles my hardened peaks, white hot pleasure rushing through me as he sucks them into his mouth.

My legs wrap around his, hands clutching his ass to take him deeper inside of me and he groans, tilting his head back as I tangle a hand in his hair and nip at his jaw.

Every time his mouth brushes over his mark on me, an intense pleasure rushes through me.

Pleasure builds steadily in my gut and I lose myself in the sound of his deep groans, the feel of his skin against mine and the sensation of him inside of me.

The sound of Peter's roar when he falls over the edge makes the trees shake.

I spend some more time swimming, but then my mind starts to wander again, my chest constricting as I think about Jasper.

'You don't really want to leave do you?' Peter asks me, pulling me back into his chest as we bask in the sun.

I tilt my head back to look at him, amazed at how well he can read me already.

He strokes my jaw with his thumb and I lean into his touch, purring softly.

Peter hums contentedly, brushing my shoulder with his forehead.

'Jasper hates me.' I state softly, unable to keep the pain out of my voice.

Peter sighs. 'He doesn't hate you.'

I swallow the lump that forms in my throat. I want to believe him but I'm not sure I can.

'If Alice had done that to you…I might hate her.' I admit.

Peter takes a while to reply but I wait patiently, knowing by now that he likes to consider his words before actually speaking.

'It was an impossible situation darlin'. Jasper understands that, deep down, it's jus'...' Peter sighs softly. 'Our kind Bella, most of us don't see humans the way you do. The Cullen's are…different, you know. But Jasper 'aint like that. He doesn't hate humans, he's not even indifferent to 'em, like I am. But although he understands them and values human life, he doesn't see a human as equal to a vampire. You chose Jake, a human, over Alice, a vampire. It would have been different if it was your dad, because of course, Jasper understands family. But Jake was just a good friend of yours, and he doesn't get why you would put Alice in danger to save a human life. His mate's life. If you'd made the decision for me, he'd be a lot more understandin'. You have to imagine if it had gone badly Bella, if Alice had been harmed, if she'd been killed. You would have essentially sacrificed her for a friend of yours, and a human one at that. He loves you, but in his eyes, you've betrayed him. He doesn't hate ya sugar, he's just…hurt.'

My throat closes at his words and I feel a pang in my gut.

Peter strokes my hair soothingly. 'Listen darlin', I understand why you did what you did, but I know you better than J does. Don't feel bad 'bout the choices you made, you made them for the right reasons, and you were fuckin' incredible. If it wasn't for you, Alice and I would both be dead. Besides, you don't know what Victoria would have done if you hadn't gone with Laurent. It's certainly possible Alice would have gotten hurt, and you too, if things hadn't gone to plan.'

I sigh, trying to process his words.

'I get why he's mad.' I tell Peter, turning to face him. 'He has a right to be upset with me and I understand that, but I don't know how I can fix it.' I make a frustrated noise. 'I think, he would want me to say that I would choose differently if the same thing happened again, but I wouldn't.' I meet Peter's gaze firmly. 'I would make the same decisions again if I had to. Because it protected you, at least sort of…' I shiver as I replay the sight of him lying there, his limbs missing. 'God Peter I'm so sorry you were hurt.' I manage to say, choking on my words.

Peter smiles gently at me, running a thumb under my eye. 'All that matters is that we're both okay now.' His face darkens as he pulls me closer, his hand curving possessively over my hip. 'I'm glad her plan involved hurting me and not you, because I swear to fuckin' god…'

I interrupt him with a kiss and he groans into my mouth, his thumb digging into the skin at my waist, making me shiver.

I slide my hand down his chest, and he catches it as I move it lower, my palm resting on his firm abs.

He pulls back from me, a wicked gleam in his eyes. 'Are you tryin' to start something Bella?' He rolls my name on his tongue and I shiver in his hold. He brushes his mouth against mine but moves his head to the side just as I'm about to kiss him.

I pout and he chuckles softly.

'My insatiable girl.' He hums, placing a kiss on my jaw. 'As much as I want to continue, I think this is an important conversation.'

I grumble but nod and he holds my hand still as I try to move it from his body. 'I didn't say ya couldn't touch me.' He winks, a boyish smirk at his gorgeous mouth.

His other hand gently skims across my backside and I bristle a little, annoyed at his teasing and that he seems to have more of an effect on me than I do on him.

Peter's eyes scan mine and he sighs softly, cupping my face in his hands. 'Don't think I don't want you.' He shakes his head at me, a wry smile on his face. 'Believe me, I couldn't want you any fuckin' more than I do, I think I'd explode.' He moves his lower body to press against mine so I can feel how hard he is and I bite my lip in desire. His eyes drop to my mouth and he shakes his head slightly, his eyes darkening. 'But I don't just want to fuck you. I want all of it. I want every single fuckin' part Bella. The fights, cos' we'll fuckin' have 'em and I can already tell they're going to be fierce. The debates over wrong and right, the fuckin' hard conversations. I want to find out everything that makes you laugh, that makes you cry. I want to know every single part of ya, even the crazy bits. I want to make you laugh every day. I want you to be happy.'

I swallow the large lump that's formed in my throat and Peter smiles as venom pools in my eyes.

'I love you.' I tell him in a choked voice.

'I love you too, beautiful.' He murmurs, kissing my nose.

'I want all of it too.' I continue, smiling at him.

He places a gently kiss on my mouth and then moves his head to my ear, brushing his mouth against the lobe.

'After we talk, I'm going to make you fuckin' scream my name.' Peter says in a deep tone that makes me squirm.

'Mm.' I gasp, feeling heat pool between my legs.

The scent of my arousal permeates the air and I can tell when Peter registers it because his whole body shudders and I feel his length twitch against my thigh.

Peter groans in my ear. 'Fuck Bella. You're so fuckin' tempting.' He growls into my ear.

He pulls back from me with a wild look in his eyes and disappears into the water for a second, emerging soaking wet and lying on the rock next to me with a few feet between us.

God he looks so fucking hot when he's wet.

I pout at the distance but agree that it's a good idea.

'So…back to the Jasper thing.' Peter says, running a hand through his wet hair. 'Is that the only reason you want to leave?'

I can't look at him without wanting to straddle his body so I gaze up at the sky, enjoying the feel of the sun warming my skin. It's cloudy, but there's warmth in the air and the rough stone of the rock beneath me is extremely pleasant.

'Jasper's home is with the Cullen's, and if he can't…if he won't forgive me.' I sigh, an ache building in my chest. 'I just don't think it's fair on him to stay. I don't want to make his life uncomfortable. Besides, it's not just Jasper, it's Edward too. I just…I don't know, I guess I feel like they want me gone.' My voice drops at the end.

'I don't think either of them want that darlin'. But the only way to know is to ask them.' Peter says softly. 'I can't speak for them, or what they want. I know for sure the other Cullen's certainly want ya there though.'

I nod, sitting up and resting my chin on my knees, looking out at the water. 'Would it be so bad, just you and me, on our own?'

Peter hums. 'It wouldn't be bad at all sugar. If it's what you truly want. But I don't think it is what you want.' He sits up too and wraps his hand around my ankle comfortingly. 'Truthfully baby, I think you've spent a whole lot of your life doin' what other people want. Who cares if it pisses off Edward and Jasper if you stay with the Cullen's. You deserve to be there, you're wanted there. I love how selfless you are, but sometimes you need to jus' let it be about you. Let Edward fuck off again if that's what he wants, he'll come back. And listen, J won't go anywhere without the pixie. That man is beyond fuckin' whipped and I don't think Alice will want ya to leave, or to leave you.'

I nod softly, acknowledging I've heard him.

Peter smiles at me and then stares out at the water silently, his thumb rubbing into my skin.

Another thought crops up into my head and I look down at my knees, worrying my bottom lip.

'Peter…the way we are with the blood and the…sex, is that…normal?'

I replay the way we basically had sex on top of a mountain lion and the way I attacked him when he had just killed the human.

My hand touches my mouth as I realise by consuming the blood from his mouth I basically did drink from a human, and my eyes wouldn't be turning topaz like the rest of the Cullen's for a while.

Peter's hand leaves my ankle and grabs my jaw, tilting my head up to his.

'How do you feel about it?'

I frown, 'I don't know. It felt right, natural, but it shouldn't be, should it?'

'Okay.' Peter says softly, studying my eyes. 'To answer your question sugar, yes it's normal, but it's very primal, and something that not all vampires actually partake in.' He smiles wryly at me. 'You're more driven by instinct that a lot of other vampires I've known. When I was with Charlotte,' I grimace at her name and he rolls his eyes at me, 'We hunted together sometimes, but it took a while to even do that, because we weren't mates. And while we were…' He runs his thumb across my jaw, 'intimate,' He says carefully, 'after we'd hunted, we never did anything during, like what you and I did.'

I hug my knees, turning my head to the side so my cheek rests in his palm. 'You feel it too right?'

'Bloodlust?' Peter asks, searching my gaze. 'You know I do sugar.'

'No…' I say, biting my lip. 'When I'm hunting…I feel so…'

'Horny?' Peter grins at me slyly and I sigh at him.

'Yes.' I say softly.

He smiles and kisses my head. 'Blood and sex are our most basic desires. You feel lust for blood, and sex, and sometimes they combine. Of course I feel it too. With you…because you're mine….' I hum at his possessive words and he smirks at me. 'It's even more intense. Hell darlin', I was the one that couldn't help myself when you were huntin'. It's normal to feel like that. That's why sometimes vampires fuck their prey.'

'Have you ever…done that?' I ask him, gnawing at my lip.

Peter searches my eyes then nods softly. 'Yes.'

'A lot?' I ask, staring into his crimson eyes.

Peter sighs. 'What's a lot Bella?'

'I don't know Peter, more than 10 times? More than thirty?' My tone is laced with annoyance.

'More than thirty.' He says softly.

'How many more?'

Peter runs a hand through his hair. 'I don't know exactly, maybe 70.'

'70.' I repeat.

'More or less, if I had to say a number.' He breathes out.

'Okay.'.

'Does that…how do you feel about that?' Peter asks me gently.

'I…' I bite my lip. 'I feel like I should be upset by it.'

'It's okay if you are.' Peter murmurs, stroking my hair.

'It makes me feel angry.' I admit.

Peter swallows. 'I can't change the past Bella, I know I-

I interrupt him with a growl of frustration. 'No Peter…it's not because you killed them…it's more like…I'm angry that you've been with so many women.'

Possessiveness runs through me.

Mine.

I frown.

Why doesn't it bother me that he killed them?What's wrong with me?

He's silent as he studies me. 'Okay.'

I imagine his strong body on top of another, sinking his teeth into their neck as they scream in pleasure.

The thought of him with someone else makes me jealous, but I'm appalled to also feel arousal build in my gut at the thought of his blood soaked naked body. I stand up, moving away from Peter and jumping into the water.

I swim down to the riverbed and lie there, staring up at the sky through slanted light.

I feel so…lost.

Being a vampire, the more I realise that even as a human I never really…knew what I wanted or who I was.

Every conversation I have with Peter, every encounter, makes me question who I am.

Why don't I care that he's killed so many people? Why don't I care that he drinks human blood?Is it just because I love him?At first I thought that was it, but now…

The feelings I'm having, my behavior. I drunk from a human, even though it was indirect. I still tasted it, licked it from Peter's mouth. Even now the memory of that encounter fills my body with white hot desire.

I don't feel guilty, that the human died. I should, I definitely should, but although I feel a little sad about the fact someone had to die, the reason they died is so much more important to me.

Peter needed blood. And I need him.

But what does this mean? Have I become someone that's okay with murder?

I don't know what I want…what I…

I practically jump as Peter enters the water, his hair fanning around his face, ruby eyes meeting mine.

I swim to him immediately and wrap my legs around his waist, burying my head into his neck.

Immediately my body relaxes and I sigh into his skin as he stands up, his hand tangling in my wet hair as water drops down our faces.

He gently pulls my head up and I crash my mouth to his the minute I see his handsome face, my body thrumming with electricity. He shivers, tightening his grip in my hair and I moan as he licks his tongue against mine.

He pulls back from my mouth with a soft grin, hands coming to cup my face. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes.' I answer honestly. 'I just feel a little…lost.'

Crimson eyes search mine questioningly.

I sigh. 'I'm just struggling with the vampire side I guess. The things I want…the blood…I want…ugh I can't even say it.'

Peter strokes my cheek. 'What does it mean to truly love someone Bella?' He asks me seriously, his ruby eyes gazing at me through thick black lashes.

'To love every part of them, completely and unrestrainedly.' I say immediately.

He smiles. 'We both have darkness inside of us, like everybody does. I don't wanna hide that part of myself from you, and I don't want you to hide it either. There's gonna be parts of me you won't like sugar. But true love means acceptin' a person's flaws, lovin' them so much that you can acknowledge their imperfection. Even your darkest thought, your darkest moment, won't change the way I feel about you.'

I breathe out slowly, running my hands through the back of his soft hair. It's wet from the water and droplets run down my fingertips.

'Me neither,' I say softly, kissing his mouth gently, 'and I don't want to hide from you, but I'm not even sure I can even be honest with myself about some of the darker thoughts I've had.'

Peter nods at me. 'That's okay darlin', I just want you to know that you can tell me. Besides, I promise my thoughts are darker.' He winks and I shiver, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip.

He leans to my ear and kisses just below it, his breath washing over my skin and making heat rise in my belly.

'I've thought about drinking from a human with you, you on one side of the throat, and me on the other.' His voice is low and I shiver, my legs tightening around his waist. 'Tasting blood on your tongue, fuckin' you as we drink together.'

I swallow heavily, my body flooding with arousal. 'I…hearing you hunt…made me…'

'I know.' Peter says softly. 'I could smell you.'

'I wanted…' He waits patiently for me to finish but I can't, dropping my head to his shoulder.

Peter's hand trails up my side, gently wrapping around my ribs. 'I know.'

'I don't want to be a monster.' I tell him seriously, feeling a lump form in my throat as I lift my head up to face him.

Peter nods, 'I know that too. But you'll never be a monster to me, whatever you do. Whether you drink animal blood, human blood, a mix, it doesn't matter. You'll always be my Bella, my beautiful, kind, strong, caring Bella.' He kisses my jaw.

I bite my lip as he pulls back and he rubs his thumb across the underside of my breast. 'Do you see me as a monster?'

'No.' I say adamantly. 'You're not a monster.'

Peter hums, 'But I've done monstrous things.'

I stare at him, as what he's trying to say clicks in my brain.

Just because you do monstrous things, it doesn't make you a monster, I'm not human, I'm a vampire, and I am supposed to kill humans, the fact that I'm trying not to means I'm already trying to be better. The fact that Peter often targets the dregs of society shows that he has the same desire.

'I love you.' Peter says softly, moving slightly so our bodies are pressed together. 'And I will always love you.'

I look up at him, my fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 'I love you more.' I tell seriously.

His eyes sparkle and he kisses across my jaw. 'Impossible.'

A/N

Apologies for the delay guys – I think we can all just assume that whenever I say a chapter will be ready…it's gonna be a few weeks after ;)

I've been moving house so that's why I suck so much – I promise I am writing, but I have to keep starting and stopping which means, everytime I start again, I need to reread a little to get back into the swing of the characters ect. (The first version I wrote of this chapter was very OOC for Bella and Peter so I had to redo it)

ANYWAY.

Please read and review – I have a special treat for you if you do!

I know I'm horrendously bad at replying to your reviews so trust me when I say, I read and love them ALL and thank you so much if you have left a review.

The treat: I've written an AU for Irresistible (That's almost finished)

This is the synopsis:

What if Jasper had never called Peter when Edward bit Bella? 5 years down the line, what will happen when Bella and Peter cross paths?

It's going to be about 6 chapters only, and I won't release it until Irresistible is finished, we've got about 1-12 chapters to go!

That being said…

If you want a sneak peak of the first 2,000 words or so…

All you have to do is leave a review saying what you like about this story :D

Thank you for your patience and for following!

Creaatingmadness xx