Disclaimer: As usual, not mine.

Thanks to Oxnate for beta-reading.

This Year's Boy

By Kylia

Chapter 8: Refusal and Reinforcement

February 25, 2000

Angel Investigations, Los Angeles

As she waited for something - anything - to happen Cordelia decided to sit around wasting time at the computer, reading trashy news articles about celebrities, reading serious news articles about politics and current events (she had to stay informed) and checking up on any casting calls.

Even if the odds of her actually having time to go to any were pretty low. And then there was always the risk of a vision striking in the middle of auditioning, or worse, filming. That would be a great way to kill my career prospects. Cordelia just wished that passing on her visions was as easy as getting them had been.

It wasn't that she didn't like helping Angel help people. She did. But...

Did it have to be with surround-sound, smell-o-vision, feel-the-pain-of-the-victims, 'migraines with pictures'?

Still, she kept checking, and she found a few she might try if she got the chance, writing them down, printing a few things out.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the elevator coming up - she looked at the doors as they opened.

Even after the conversation they'd all just had an hour ago, Cordelia's first thought when she saw 'Faith' approaching her was that the crazy slayer was right there in the room, but only for a second. She stared at Xander for a moment, then looked back at the computer screen.

"So... this is where you work as Angel's secretary," Xander said, Faith's voice giving Xander's words a scornful edge.

Well, more than he'd already have. It wasn't like it would be out of character for Xander to pick at the fact she hadn't made it, despite being so sure she'd be halfway to nationwide stardom now.

"Yes, yes, I'm a secretary," she held up her hand, one finger raised, "for now. It's just a temporary thing between acting gigs, and once I get something big-"

"How did I know you'd say that?" Xander rolled his eyes, then sat down on the couch, his legs spread - which looked completely out of place with his current body. He took a breath, "Sorry, I shouldn't have- said it like that."

Cordelia blinked. "Are we sure you're still Xander Harris in there?" Sure, they'd patched things up - sort of - before she'd left Sunnydale, and he hadn't told the whole school about her Dad and-

Still. They'd also fallen pretty quickly into old habits, and she figured they would again here. I guess old habits die hard for me.

"Well, I'm definitely not Faith, so... yeah, pretty sure," Xander let out a long breath. "I envy you. Having a role here in helping Angel fight the bad guys and stuff. And you have the visions, so you're actually useful."

"Well, if you're so concerned about being useful, you could always keep Faith's body," Cordelia suggested. "I mean, you oggled it enough even when we were dating." She looked Faith's body over. Not that I can really blame him. Well, not much. When it came to Faith, not staring was pretty hard.

"On my list of things I did wrong by you, thinking Faith is hot isn't that high." Xander countered. "Can't really control who you think is hot," he added.

"What does your ex-demon girlfriend think about that?" If they were going to talk - and apparently they were - Cordelia was burning to understand that. What was the Patron Saint of Scorned Women doing dating the very guy she'd tried to get Cordelia to wish-punish (to apparently no effect) for... you know, scorning her?

"Been really waiting to ask about that, haven't you?" Xander asked. "Or are you just waiting to make a demon magnet joke? I'm wide open on those." He spread his arms, hands gesturing back to himself. "Hit me. I've heard them all from Buffy and Willow by now."

Cordelia scoffed, "Like I can't come up with better comebacks than either of your friends." She smirked as she watched Xander reluctantly nod, conceding the point to her. "But still - what's the answer to my question?"

Xander shrugged, "Looking isn't cheating." He sighed, "If you want me to admit that I went a little far when Faith first showed up, then yeah, I did. Anya wouldn't be happy about that. But she wouldn't have an issue with just looking, a bit. She does it too. And sometimes tells me about it."

Cordelia blinked, "Wait, what?"

"Anya thinks a couple discussing their fantasies or 'erotic thoughts'," and Cordelia could hear Xander's air quotes about those two words as much as see them, "is healthy for the couple's sex life." He chuckled and shook his head. "And given that she's been having sex for a thousand years, I tend to just go with her suggestions."

"I don't need any more details," Cordelia said quickly, then looking back at her computer for a moment. "Why are you two even - I mean, you hate demons more than Buffy, and-"

Xander interrupted before she could finish. "And you want to know why Anya would be into me in the first place?"

"Yeah." Cordelia nodded. "Especially since you're the whole reason she came to Sunnydale in the first place," she added. "I mean-"

"I cheated and her whole thing is punishing cheaters." Xander sighed. "I haven't asked her about that. As for why we're together - well, you don't want details, but it basically just started because she liked having sex with me. She came back to Sunnydale for that reason and then... stayed around."

"Came back to-" Cordelia started, then screwed up her face in a bit of disgust and annoyance. "So that's why you asked her to prom."

"That was her idea," Xander told her quickly. "And I'm a healthy teenage guy..." he looked down at his current body, laughing. "But yeah. I said yes. And then... kept saying yes and we ended up dating."

"Men," Cordelia rolled her eyes again, scoffing scornfully. "So how have things gone for you, then, since you decided to be all snarky about how I'm a secretary right now - temporarily!" she added again, as if that made it better.

And as if saying it would make it just be that way. Hey, it's like those affirmations. You have to try.

"Well, I didn't exactly leave High School with a plan," Xander pointed out.

"Apart from the road trip," Cordelia pointed out, and in response to her words he flushed a little - it was odd seeing that on Faith. Cordelia didn't think she'd ever seen Faith blush. She wasn't really one for shame or embarrassment.

"Yeah... that... that didn't really go like I planned." Cordelia wondered why Xander blushed as he said it, but she didn't dig. "Eventually, of course, I was back in Sunnyhell. After I got back... you know. Pretty predictable: Move into the basement, try to find a job. Took a while to find something that stuck. But I did. Construction." Xander was about to say something more when the phone rang. Cordelia picked it up on instinct,and Xander shut his mouth.

"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless," she said, her voice just a bit chipper and upbeat, but not so much that it threw off the potential customer.

We might be busy, but we can't turn away paying customers.

"Ah, Miss Chase," Cordelia stiffened a little at the familiar sounding voice of Lilah Morgan. She'd just heard the woman a few hours ago, and it was hard to forget her smug, altogether too satisfied with her own intelligence tone. But I do have to give her credit for being a vicious bitch. And succeeding in the boys club of a law firm - an evil law firm at that.

Took guts and skill. So Cordelia wasn't going to assume the woman was an idiot.

"I don't think we'd accept you as a client, no matter how hopeless you are," Cordelia countered.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not hopeless then. Your old classmate Xander Harris, though, is. Could you put him on the phone then? I assume he's still there, seeing how the other half lives." She chuckled. "I have to say, even working at Wolfram and Hart, I don't run into body-switching all that often."

"Glad to hear we could introduce you to a novel experience, then," Cordelia drawled. She gestured to Xander and held out the phone. Xander pointed to himself, Cordelia stared at him and jerked the phone towards him again, and he nodded, getting up and walking over, grabbing the phone.

February 25, 2000

Angel Investigations, Los Angeles

Xander wasn't totally sure why he'd wanted to go upstairs to talk to Cordelia, apart from the fact that he'd wanted something to do after Anya decided to touch base with Angel about breaking into Wolfram and Hart - having been a client there, she had some suggestions, apparently.

Well, curiosity, he supposed. Ending up as a secretary was the last thing he'd have expected from Cordelia. He'd doubted she'd be a movie or tv star, like she'd been so sure - she wasn't anywhere near as good at acting as she seemed to think, though she had her moments - but still.

He'd always figured she'd manage to find a way to make it. Bounce back. Her confidence, her self-assurance.

Plus, the idea that she had visions. That was hard to wrap his brain around. How did that happen? Had she always been some sort of psychic? Weird magical accident? Demonic exposure, like how Buffy had gotten temporary telepathy?

Well, if it's that, she's not going crazy like Buffy.

Of course, once he was actually alone in a room with his ex, his first reaction was to poke and prod at what he knew would be a sore spot, and then she reacted and they'd started going at each other.

Though it wasn't as bad as they'd often been back in school - before and after they'd dated.

But now he was being handed the phone. Once Cordelia insisted it was for him, he could guess who this was. Or at least what it was about.

"I'm going to assume you're the demon lawyers?" Xander asked. "How does that work, do you sell your soul on the dotted line, or does that come later?"

"Wolfram and Hart represents clients, regardless of origin or species. Human, demon, vampire, ghost," the woman on the other end of the line said. "And unless you're interested in seeking employment through us, Mr. Harris, the details of our employment contracts aren't really your concern." Xander bit his tongue a moment at being called that, the immediate rejection of that label demanding to be said, as it pretty much always did whenever he was called 'Mr. Harris'

Of course, right now, it feels even weirder.

"Don't like being reminded that you're evil?"

"The moralistic lectures get tiresome after the first thousand times," the woman replied coolly. "Now, to business: I understand we have something of yours."

"You do. And now you're going to make me 'an offer I can't refuse?'" he asked, in a bad-attempt at an Al Pacino impression. I guess Faith's voice doesn't work for that.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, then, "Something like that. We'd be more than happy to return your body - intact and alive - to you, in exchange for certain services rendered. A single service, actually."

And here it comes.

"Kill Angel?" Xander asked, preempting the suggestion.

"You're smarter than your high school transcripts would suggest," the woman - Lilah Morgan, that's her name.

"No, not really, I'm exactly as stupid as my transcripts say I am." Xander shook his head, apparently unable to stop making stupid - very stupid - jokes and comments. "It's just that Everyone else figured out your obvious evil plan pretty fast," he replied. He dropped himself into the chair across the desk from Cordelia, since it seemed like this conversation was going to take longer than 'kill Angel and get your body back'.

"Well, how stupid you are depends on if you take our deal. It is quite simple - we have a problem. You have a problem. And while neither Wolfram and Hart nor anyone speaking on their behalf would ever advocate commission of a crime... well, if you could help us resolve our problem with a certain vampire, we could certainly help you resolve the problem you have." Lilah explained cooly, the lawyer doublespeak enough to make Xander's head spin.

"The problem I have is one you created," Xander pointed out. "And I'm pretty sure abduction is a crime."

"That is a slanderous accusation, and I'd advise you against spreading it without proof," the woman lied blandly. Xander knew she was lying, and yet - not even the slightest waver. No hint. She's a lawyer. She probably lies harder than this twice before breakfast.

"What are you going to do, sue me?" Xander countered. "You want me to dust Angel. It's not happening." Like it or not, Angel was one of the good guys. Right now, anyway. If he didn't have his soul, I'd set him on fire in a heartbeat. Or at least try to.

But as long as Angel had a soul, even if Buffy wouldn't hate him forever for just killing Angel, it would still be way too close to murder for Xander to be okay with it. Killing a vampire isn't murder, but it's close enough when he's got a soul.

Xander didn't like it. He didn't really get how it worked, but it worked. Angel was different, he was one of the good guys.

"We are entirely prepared to make your problem worse, bit by bit, if you don't comply with us, Mr. Harris," Lilah Morgan replied. "You have 24 hours to deal with the problem. After that, your payment starts getting cut."

It took Xander a moment to realize what she meant, and he felt the blood drain from his face, and his spine stiffen.

"You even think about that and-"

"You'll what? Charge into the teeth of our well-defended headquarters and take your body back by force?" The dismissive chuckle showed how little Lilah thought of his odds if he did. "Even the original Miss Lehane wouldn't have been enough for that. Like I said, 24 hours. Or rather, 23 hours and 58 minutes." Then she hung up, leaving Xander standing there.

I figured they'd give a deadline, but I didn't think they'd start cutting pieces off my body... Xander swallowed and set the now dial tone-sounding phone down on the cradle, though it was more of a drop than really setting it down, his movements a bit jerky and halting.

"Xander?" Xander was jolted out of his horrified thoughts - and the mental image of like, getting his fingers in the mail, one at a time - by Cordelia, actual concern in her voice. "Are you-"

"Am I alright? No, I'm very much not alright!" Xander said quickly, raising his voice, then realizing he was nearly shouting, he forced himself to take a breath. "No. I'm not. They... well... I have just under a day to dust Angel or they start..." He swallowed. "Well, they start cutting off pieces of my body."

Cordelia grimaced, "And then get the pieces in the mail?"

"They didn't say it like that, but I mean, if they're going to embrace the evil cliche..." Xander swallowed. "Angel had better figure out a way we can get in there soon." He swallowed again, feeling fear gripping at his gut.

When Faith had stolen his body, the thing he'd been most worried about was Faith breaking the law with his face. Maybe Faith getting beaten up badly and then having to deal with the pain once he was in the body.

But nothing... permanent.

And now he had to worry about parts getting cut off. How fast would they go? How long would it take to break in and get his body out?

Can we fake me killing Angel? How do they even want confirmation? Xander doubted they'd just accept a pile of dust.

He should go down and tell the others about the call. He swallowed. "I'm going to go down and... tell everyone."

Cordelia nodded. "Good idea. I should go down anyway. Angel should be leaving soon," she looked over at the clock. "Sunset should be soon."

Xander nodded and they both went down in the elevator, and Xander filled them in on the phone call. Buffy made angry sounding noises at the news of their threat, and Anya was very upset at the prospect of him losing bits of his body. And not just his dick.

Thank you so much for reminding me they might decide to cut that off too, Anya.

"We'll find another option," Buffy said firmly once Xander was done. "We'll get your body back, switch Faith back into it and... then something. Hand her over to the Council." Buffy grimaced, "she's earned whatever they want to do to her."

"You do realize they'll kill her," Wesley said. "She's a damaged young woman, not a demon. She needs help, not murder."

"Yes, and she was getting help until some idiot came in and ruined it," Angel pointed out, and Wesley looked away, flushing a bit. "You can't exactly put a slayer in involuntary psychiatric confinement," he added, and Buffy, for some reason, grimaced and looked at the ground for a moment at Angel's mention of that.

"And you can't put her in prison either. Besides, that's a waste of a perfectly good Slayer," Anya pointed out. "I mean, if you have two, you might as well use two... just you now, not on Sunnydale. Sometimes people just need to die."

Xander grimaced, "I really - she's human. I don't like the idea of the Council just... shooting her or whatever. But like... this isn't a comic book where we have a prison that can hold super-powered people."

And those didn't work in comic books all that well either. If Batman just killed the Joker...

"She's had her chances," Willow agreed, speaking softly. "And now she's got us into... well, into this mess. So... yeah."

"Good, then we're all on the same page," Buffy confirmed, and no one objected, though Giles did clear his throat and clean his glasses, while Tara just bit her lip and looked away. "I don't like it either, but we don't have a lot of better options. But that will have to wait until we can figure out how to get into Wolfram and Hart."

"More waiting. On a deadline." Xander muttered, knowing he sounded sullen and bitter, but unable to stop himself. He forced himself to take another breath. "Right. Okay. So..." he dropped himself into a chair and took another breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but given the situation - good luck, Angel."

Cordelia pinched herself, then shook her head. "Nope, not dreaming." Xander saw Willow smile a bit at that. Angel just grimaced and headed over to what Xander could only assume was his weapons cabinet, opening it up.

More waiting.

I'd go for a walk, but going for a walk because I didn't want to wait indoors is what got me into this mess.

Wesley cleared his throat, "I may have some contacts that might be able to help us. It's... something of a long shot, but I can reach out to them and see if they might be able to help in some fashion."

February 25, 2000

Angel's Apartment, Los Angeles

Cordelia was left waiting again - still just as fun as before - but now she was worried.

Her issues with her ex aside as a person and as a former boyfriend, she didn't actually want Xander to start getting pieces of his body cut off of him. I mean, sure, when he first cheated, I'd have been happy to see him lose a certain part of his body, but that was then.

Xander was back to talking with his girlfriend, and Willow with Tara - and yep, there was definitely something there, almost anyway. Wesley was gone, and Giles was looking through some of Angel's books, making various librarian sounds at them. That left Buffy alone.

"So... visions." Buffy asked, walking up towards her. "How does that work? How did you even end up with them?"

"Stunned how a 'Queen Bitch' like me could end up with something like that?" Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Cordy, back at Hemry High, I was you," Buffy laughed. "And you stopped being just the Queen Bitch after you ended up starting helping with the fight, in your own... Cordelia way." She shrugged, "Besides, High School is over."

Cordelia nodded. "Right. So - when this is all over, you're going back to Sunnydale, right? No hanging around to celebrate. No chance of Angelus coming back?" She might as well get to the point.

"You and Xander will never let me live that down, will you?" Buffy snapped. "If I had known what was going to happen-"

"It was a traumatizing experience, okay? And right before all this happened, we had a fun temporary resurgence of him too, so it's kind of fresh in my mind." Cordelia replied, defensively. "And you two - you have this... epic star-crossed lovers thing. The stuff they make Shakespearean plays about where everyone dies at the end."

"You had - Angelus - what?! And you're just mentioning that now?" Buffy raised her voice, and everyone else in Angel's apartment turned towards them, hearing the name 'Angelus' and Buffy's raised tone of voice. Tara looked confused - she was probably reacting to the raised voice, but Anya looked like she recognized the name, and understood the ramifications.

Thousand years of demon life will do that. Angelus was the big scary Scourge of Europe, after all.

"It wasn't really Angelus." That was Wesley's conclusion, and it made sense to her. "An actress who wanted to become a vampire gave Angel some happy pills, and then he went all Angelus murder-happy."

"That's the kind of answer that isn't," Buffy pointed out.

"It makes perfect sense if you understand the situation," Cordelia countered. "This is L.A. Sooner or later Angel was going to save a famous person," She grimaced. "He just had to save one who decided she was getting too old and didn't understand what being a vampire means."

"How would 'happy pills', as you so... specifically describe them, affect Angel's curse enough to make him lose his soul... especially since he appears to be... not evil now," Giles asked stiffly.

"You'd have to ask Wesley - he's the expert here, but short version: the drugs made Angel think he'd had perfect happiness. 'Angelus' didn't actually manage to kill anyone, so... yeah, it probably wasn't really him, but it certainly felt like him," Cordelia explained. "Wesley and I managed to distract him and shove him down the elevator shaft, and chained him up after he was unconscious... and then... it went out of his system or something."

"Which actress?" Willow asked, curiously.

"Rebecca Lowell," Coredelia sighed.

"Really?" Willow frowned, "I liked her."

"Me too. And because 'Angelus' scared her off, we can say no to having any celebrity clients through her," Cordelia grumbled.

"So tragic," Xander drawled, "you're absolutely sure there's no more Angelus running around?"

"I'm pretty sure," Cordelia nodded. Though she had actually gotten a real vial of holy water to put in her desk, in case it ever happened again. I really should have been prepared for that to start. Cordelia was about to say more when there was a knock on the door, and then Wesley walked in.

"Mr. Giles, Xander... might you both join me outside?" He said, sounding especially British all of a sudden. Like, way more than usual.

"Why?" Xander turned towards Wesley.

"The Council's Special Operations Team is here. They claim they want to help resolve this situation..." Wesley didn't sound totally convinced.

"And you're just asking me to come out of here, where they are, with just you and Giles? I know I'm an idiot, but I'm not that stupid, Wes," Xander countered.

"You can bring Miss Summers as well, if you like," Wesley replied. "But I do believe they can help."