I'm a Junior now! Ah, school how I have missed thee! (By which I mean my friends and not the actual work) Used my last day of freedom to get this ready to post, so yay! *jazz hands*

This one's been sitting in the back of a notebook, sort of finished but not really. So I spruced it up a bit and decided it would make a kind of cool short story, hopefully the first of many. Please excuse my strange sense of humor (it makes itself known and this story) and know that I had far too much fun writing from the point of view of a lizard. :) ~Lou

Summary: Every great hero has a weakness. Superman has kryptonite, Indianna Jones had snakes, and Gordon Tracy's happens to be lizards. A fact which is quite unfortunate, considering he lives on a tropical island.

Lizards

Virgil wandered into the living room, tired and sore, but happy nonetheless. The rescue had been a long one, but successful, and he was looking forward to unwinding on his piano before taking a nap.

"Virgil! Finally!"

Virgil turned to the source of the high-pitched, panicky call. It was Gordon, standing on the holo-table, clad in his swim trunks, and wielding a towel like a bull fighters cape.

Virgil sighed, wishing for once- just once- that he could come home and find his household operating in some semblance of a normal order. "Gordon, what is going on?"

"Look! Right there! I'm sure this is Alan's fault! It's the size of a Gila monster!" Gordon shouted, pointing to a lizard on the couch. A little itty-bitty lizard, actually. Only a little longer than Virgil's hand.

Virgil looked back at his brother, very unimpressed. "Gordon, you're being ridiculous. It's just a baby."

Gordon stopped waving his towel madly in the lizard's direction for a moment so he could cross his arms. "Yeah, okay. You get chased by a pair of twenty foot lizards and then tell me I'm being ridiculous."

Virgil shook his head. "You're exaggerating. They were fifteen feet at the most."

"That is so not the point. Now are you gonna do something about that… that…" Gordon didn't have a word that encompassed all the evils of the beast.

Virgil sighed again and cast a longing glance at his piano, knowing full well that his brother would stay up there all day if the lizard didn't leave, and there would be no way to concentrate with all the screeching and towel flapping anyway. "Do you have a box?"

"No, I have a towel!" He said, flapping it again when the lizard made another noise.

"That'll work." Virgil said, taking the towel from his brother and using it to pick up the lizard.

"Careful…" Gordon warned as he creeped up next to Virgil's shoulder, finally coming down from his perch on the table. "It might be poisonous."

"Gords, it doesn't even have teeth yet."

"Still watch out, it could spit poison."

The incredulous look Virgil gave Gordon was one he could have won medals for.

"What?" Gordon asked. "Me and Alan saw a movie about it, it looked legit."

Virgil shook his head and left to go outside. Gordon tagged along, not because he cared at all about what happened to the little creature, but because he wanted to make sure the matter was properly handled. It wouldn't do for more lizards to start popping up out of the woodwork.

While starting down the stairs, Gordon, ever the conversationalist, started explaining how the lizard got into the house in the first place. "I was about to go for a swim, as a guy does, and it just jumped out at me! I ran for the house and it followed me, Virgil. It followed me! I'm sure this is Alan's fault."

Virgil, who had been focused mainly on not getting hit in the head by Gordon's dramatic hand gestures, stopped at this remark, eyebrows scrunched together. "Alan's up in space with John."

"Exactly!" More of the hand gestures. "He knows I can't get to him while he's holed up in Five. It's the perfect time to strike."

"What do you mean 'perfect time' ? How could Alan get to you?"

"You underestimate our little brother, Virgil. I've trained Alan well, and now he's turned on me…" Gordon said a little too seriously as he stepped outside, Virgil following behind him and shaking his head.

No sooner than Virgil had set foot on the patio did Gordon shriek. "Ah! It's another one! Where are they coming from?"

And indeed at the end of Gordon's pointed finger was another lizard, almost identical to the first, sunning itself on a lounge chair. He peeked open his eyes one by one and let out an indigant lizard squawk. Couldn't they see the poor lizard was sunbathing? Would it harm them at all to be quiet?

From inside the towel in Virgil's arms came another squawk, equally indignant. This lizard was not at all happy with the treatment he'd received from the humans either. Wrapped in a towel by the mannerless creatures and carried around like a helpless infant, they hadn't left him with a shred of dignity.

"There must be a nest nearby." Virgil said as he picked up the second lizard and placed it in the towel with the first, both lizards squawking loudly as he did so.

Gordon's eyes widened. "Alan planted a lizard nest next to my pool?" He shouted, even louder than the lizards. That was a low blow, even for Alan, even for prank wars.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Alan has nothing to do with this, Gordon. He's. In. Space."

"That doesn't mean a thing." Gordon said, looking under all the lawn chairs for anymore lizards. "He's the Padawan of a great Jedi Master," Gordon stood up, looking Virgil right in the eyes. "But he's gone to the dark side…"

Virgil rolled his eyes again, for what had to be the millionth time since he ran into Gordon. One of these days they were going to roll right out of his head. Sometimes, his brothers really were too much.

Gordon stayed behind as Virgil traipsed into the jungle to return the lizards home, swim trunks really weren't the best wardrobe choice for jungle hikes, and besides, he had to make sure there weren't anymore scaley surprises lingering around his pool.

Out on a rescue, or in the jungles around the house, Gordon could stand the lizards. He was prepared for them. But his home- his pool- was supposed to be a safe place. Those lizards had been infringing on his turf. All because of Alan…

Virgil returned soon enough, blessedly lizard-less.

"They didn't follow you back did they?" Gordon asked suspiciously, looking behind his brother to check.

Virgil chuckled, handing him his towel. "No, they didn't follow me. You need anything else?"

"Help planning revenge?" Gordon asked hopefully, nudging Virgil with his elbow.

Virgil was already walking away, giving up on convincing Gordon their little brother was innocent. "Have a nice swim, Gordon."

Gordon shrugged at Virgil's retreating back, you couldn't blame a guy for trying. But then Gordon's eyes went wide, realizing Virgil could tip off the authorities. "Hey! Don't tell Scott!"

Virgil just tossed up a hand in a sort of acknowledgment, not at all reassuring, and made his way to his beloved piano, leaving Gordon to swim his laps and plan his revenge to the swelling crescendos of Stravinsky.