She doesn't know that she's waiting for the moment until it happens; until her mother steps into the kitchen, dressed for work, and the difference is immediately noticeable.

"That's not your kit belt," Noah says between bites of cereal.

He's noticed too. Sofia looks down into her oatmeal, trying for casual.

"Yeah," Jane sighs, pulling away from the fridge. "I got a new one. My old one is about to bite the dust."

"You hate new things," Noah says shrewdly.

Jane snorts. "You're right," she admits. "But this was necessary for the job, so on it goes."

"Did Mom engrave that one?" Sofia asks this question of her oatmeal, not looking up. She feels Jane's attention shift.

There's a slight pause.

"Not yet," Jane answers finally. "I picked it up yesterday when I realized it was time."

And maybe they are going to say more about it, but Isabelle bursts in at that moment, and then Levi and Maura behind her, and whatever Sofia would have liked to say is lost in the hustle out the door.

She thinks she notices her mother's eyes on her more often, but she isn't sure.

School that day is a hassle. Normally, Sofia loves her classes, but today she is preoccupied enough that Bella pokes her in the ribs during Calculus.

"You just let Jinya answer every popcorn question," she whispers worriedly. "Are you sick?"

Sofia rubs the poked part of her side absently. "I'm fine," she says back.

"You don't seem fine," Bella says bluntly. "Are you upset about something?"

"Don't worry about it, Belle," Sofia says gruffly. She turns her attention to the teacher, trying to adopt the focused look she usually has in class, and gradually, her twin's interest fades.

She takes the bus home with Noah (Belle is on the varsity soccer team and stays late and Levi is in love with some girl,) and then ditches him in front of the TV and makes her way to her parents' room.

She's not supposed to go in there without permission, and it's a rule that she can't ever remember breaking until now. She pushes the door in on its hinges and steps inside, looking around, feeling as though she's just entered somewhere sacred.

Maura has a walk-in closet all to herself. Sometimes She and Noah will spend hours in there, discussing fashion palettes, and wardrobe combinations that neither girl is especially interested in. Sofia considers the door for a moment, and then moves to Jane's side of the room, and pulls back the rolling door on her smaller, less glamorous closet.

It's right there in the front, in an old shoebox that also contains some old letters in Jane's handwriting...a silver necklace set with what looks like a diamond.

Sofia kneels down and takes the old leather belt into her hands, running her fingers over the places where it's been worn smooth by continuous use. She flips it inside out, looking for the inscription that she knows is there.

Light dawns in the darkness for the upright, gracious, merciful, and righteous. I love you. -M

Sofia looks at the inscription for a long time, then she gets up and pads from her parents' room.

She takes the belt with her.

…

…

It's four days later when Jane comes into her room, shooing Isabelle away and shutting the door.

Sofia feels her palms start to sweat. After the second day, she'd been pretty sure that her theft had gone unnoticed; neither parent was one to delay punishment where punishment was due.

For a moment, Jane just sits on her bed in silence, watching Fee pretend to do work at her desk.

Sofia has never been able to let a silence rest.

"I'm not in the right house," she says finally, bursting into the middle of a thought. "That's why I took it."

Jane's eyebrows shoot up, but she doesn't respond immediately, clearly trying to take her time choosing an answer.

"I...wish you would have asked," she says finally. "And...We'd all be really sad if you moved out."

Sofia lets her shoulders slump. "Not this house," she says quietly. "That's not what I meant."

"Oh," Jane says. "Good."

"In Harry Potter, there are four houses, you know?"

Sofia thinks that it's for her benefit that Jane does not roll her eyes. Of course, she knows. Noah and Isabelle can go for hours, discussing theories, sortings, and pairings of characters, and even Levi has been known to throw in his two cents at the dinner table.

"I do," she says. "I believe that I am a Gryffindor, and your mother is…"

"She either gets Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw, depending on how work went."

Jane nods, though she still looks a bit confused. "And...you're…"

"I don't know," Sofia says, which is not, strictly speaking true. "But I'm not Gryffindor."

It is clear that her mother is trying very hard to follow, and yet she can't help the word that comes out of her mouth next.

"So?"

Sofia sighs heavily. "It matters."

"Okay," her mom answers at once, and then, a little hesitantly, she pats the space next to her. "Will you come and sit with me?"

Sofia does, and when she's settled, Jane pulls her a little closer to kiss her head.

"You know Mommy gave me that belt on my birthday the year she moved back to Boston."

"I know," Sofia says. She and her siblings have heard the story at least 100 times.

"The quote is a psalm," Jane continues. "She wrote it to me in a letter when we were a little older than you and Belle. When Nona and Frank broke up."

Sofia looks at her mother out of the corner of her eye. This story is new. She can count the number of times her mother has spoken about her grandfather.

"Mommy was there when he left?" she asks tentatively.

"She was on Christmas vacation when it happened," she says. Your uncle got her to fly all the way home to comfort me."

"Wow," Sofia says. She leans a little against her mother.

"Yeah," Jane says. "Wow."

Sofia looks down into her lap. "Mama?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Am I upright, gracious, merciful, and righteous?"

Jane lets out a long breath, smiling. "I've seen all of those things in you," she says. "I think it's impossible to be all of those things at the same time, all the time."

"You are."

"I most certainly am not," Jane says with a laugh. She sobers when Sofia doesn't laugh. "Hon-"

"You're the most Gryffindor of all, Mama," she says, trying to get the words out over the lump in her throat.

"Oh, Babe," Jane's voice has gone soft, the way it does when one of her kids is actually sick and not just pretending.

"I'm not like you. No one's ever gonna make me anything like that belt."

Jane opens her arms to her, and Sofia leans against her, turning her head to hide her tears against her mother's shoulder.

"I feel like I'm all by myself."

Jane pulls her closer. "No, babe. No way. You're not, by yourself, and you are more like me than you could possibly understand."

Sofia can't remember the last time the two of them hugged like this, let alone the last time it was just the two of them.

When they pull away, Jane's eyes are red.

"Sorry," Sofia says automatically.

Jane shakes her head. "No, I am." she smiles faintly. "You're...God, this whole conversation is one I wish I could have had with my mom. You're so much braver than me, Fia. I never would have."

"Well, I didn't try to," Sofia says grudgingly. "You came to talk to me."

"Yeah."

"Mama?" Sofia asks after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"What would you want Nona to say to you? Like," Sofia pushes her hair behind her ears. "Like, if you felt this way."

Jane smiles with her eyes closed. "Well, first of all, I did feel this way. Exactly this way...Alone and unseen and…"

"Without a house," Sofia supplies.

Jane opens her eyes to look at her. "Yeah. But bug, listen. I am your house." She waits until Sofia looks up at her.

"I have an idea," she says. "Go grab the belt."

Sofia hesitates. "I'm sorry for stealing-"

Jane brushes her off. "Don't worry about that," she says. "Go grab it."

Sofia slides off the bed and does as she's told, handing over the belt with undisguised reluctance.

Jane flips the belt over and smiles at the engraving. "Grab me those scissors off of Belle's desk."

"What? No-"

"Trust me," Jane says softly. "Hand 'em"

Sofia does, and she watches as Jane carefully snips away the compartment that holds her phone until it looks like just a regular belt. Then, flipping it inside out once more, Jane uses the point of the scissors to carve a "J" next to Maura's "M."

"Here," she says handing it back. "We love you. We both love you so much, and...without sounding too much like a possessive asshole, you're mine."

Sofia chokes out a laugh.

Jane grins at her. "You're in my house, in my blood, in my family. You're mine and you're stuck with me."

Sofia takes the belt back and puts it on, looping it carefully through her belt holes. "Thanks," she says thickly, though she wants to say a ton more than that. "I love you," she says, knowing it probably sounds lame.

Jane stands and heads toward the door, but when Sofia hugs her once more, she responds enthusiastically.

"I love you too."

She pulls the door half shut.

"Read something besides Harry Potter!" she calls.

Sofia laughs as she sits back down at her desk.

"As if," she murmurs.