(Rapunzel and her muse are sitting in a rather messy room, munching
chocolate together.)
Muse: You know what bugs me? Pluto had the third talisman, so presumably she knew all along where the other two were.
Rapunzel: So?
Muse: So why didn't she just tell Haruka and Michiru and spare them a lot of trouble and heartache?
Rapunzel: Because it would have made the plot much simpler. Come on, you're a muse; you should be able to appreciate the need for a more complicated plot and more character angst. It all works out.
Muse: More character angst? Excuse me, but just because I'm a muse doesn't automatically mean that I like to torture the characters!
Rapunzel: Doesn't it?
Muse: Maybe it seems to you like that's I can do because that's the only thing I can trust you to write properly.
Rapunzel: Oh, bite me!
Muse: *chomp*
Rapunzel: OWWWWWW!!!
And thus, this little bit of insanity was born...
Disclaimers: Sailor Moon does not belong to me. My muse and the story lines she comes up with, most unfortunately, do.
Warnings: OOC, mentions of shoujo ai/yuri, some spoilers, general insanity
Unwitting Deceptions
(aka Pluto Learns Why One Should Never Keep Secrets From One's Teammates)
By Rapunzel
Meioh Setsuna was enjoying a fairly relaxing day, as far as her days went. Not a single youma had appeared looking for a fight, none of the other senshi had come to her looking for all the answers, and no one had stopped her to ask why her hair was green. Yes, it was a good day, especially compared to the previous day. The previous day had simply been a mess, what with the near deaths of Uranus and Neptune and the following chaos with Eudial. But today, today was good.
At least, today had been good...
"SETSUNA!!!!"
Setsuna looked up rather apprehensively at hearing her name said so forcefully. What she saw only increased her trepidation.
Haruka was stalking towards her, a determined look in her eyes and a scowl set on her face. "Setsuna..." she repeated menacingly, catching sight of her target.
Quickly assuming the look of impervious calm she usually wore in front of the other senshi, Setsuna faced her fellow outer soldier. "Why, Haruka, whatever is the matter with you? You look upset."
"What's wrong?! What's wrong, she says! I'll tell you what's wrong! Somebody sent me and my partner off on a wild goose chase because she wouldn't give us a few key pieces of information, that's what's wrong!"
"If you are referring to me..."
"Of course I'm referring to you! Who else would I be referring to?" Haruka practically shrieked.
"If you would let me speak," Setsuna said, holding up one hand to forestall whatever the other woman was going to say.
Haruka subsided slightly. "This had better be good..." she growled.
"Well," Setsuna began, "while it was essential to find the talismans ourselves, it was more essential to keep the enemy from getting them or from taking pure hearts. If you hadn't been tracking the enemy yourself to try and find the talismans, you wouldn't have been there to return some of the heart crystals, and more people might have died."
"So why didn't you just tell us to protect the general populace instead of making us hunt all over the place for something we possessed the whole time?" Haruka demanded.
/Because that would have been entirely too simple,/ Setsuna thought, but didn't say out loud. Instead, she said, "Because the talismans were better protected that way."
"Better protected?" Haruka sputtered. "What about their owners?! Did you ever stop and think about Michiru and me?! About how we suffered and fought to complete our mission? We thought we were going to have to kill someone to get the talismans! How do you think that made us feel?!"
"Didn't I tell you that in the case of the actual talisman holders, there would be no loss of life?"
"No!" Haruka answered rather acidly. "You didn't!"
"Oh. It must have slipped my mind."
Haruka's jaw dropped for a moment. Then she clamped her mouth shut, and her face began to turn red. Setsuna could see the color creeping up her cheeks. It was like watching a volcano getting ready to erupt.
"It slipped your mind?" Haruka hissed. "Is that all?"
"I am sorry," Setsuna said, seeing trouble on the horizon and hoping to put it off. "I thought you knew."
"You're sorry?!" Haruka repeated, her voice steadily growing in volume. She took a few steps towards the older woman, her hands balled into fists and shaking with rage. "YOU PUT US THROUGH MONTHS OF EMOTIONAL HELL, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT YOU'RE SORRY?!?!"
Faced with the spectacle Haruka made, face red, fists balled, and altogether angrier than Setsuna had ever seen her, Setsuna did what any sensible person would have done in her shoes. She ran.
"COME BACK HERE!" Haruka shouted. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!"
"That's why I'm not going back there," Setsuna muttered to herself. Then she decided that she had better save her breath for running.
As she darted through the crowds on the street, people turned to watch her. Murmurs of "What's going on?" and "Who is she?" and "How can she run that fast in high heels?" followed her.
/Years of practice, that's how./
Then she heard feet pounding behind her.
She had forgotten one very important fact: Haruka was a runner, and a damn good one too. Well, technically, she hadn't really forgotten it- she never forgot anything, after all- it had simply temporarily escaped her notice.
/Now I know why they tell you not to run from grizzly bears,/ she thought, just as Haruka came within arms reach of her.
With a lunge, Haruka tackled her, and the two of them went down in a flailing tangle of arms and legs. Setsuna tried to struggle to her feet, but Haruka grabbed a handful of hair and pulled hard. Wincing, Setsuna made a mental note to get even with Haruka for that one later. It was all very well for Haruka to use her long hair against her; _she_ looked as though she'd never had long hair in her life.
Vaguely, Setsuna was aware of someone shrieking at them as she and Haruka rolled on the ground, wrestling with one another. Of course, Setsuna was doomed. Haruka outweighed her by a good bit, and as alarmed as she was by the whole turn of events, she was still unwilling to summon her time staff and clock Haruka with it. There would be plenty of time for that later, after she got out from under her supposed ally.
The shrieking suddenly resolved itself into words in a voice she recognized. "Stop it! You're hurting Puu!"
"Small Lady?" Setsuna groaned. The last thing she needed was to have the child who looked up to her see her get the snot beaten out of her by a fellow soldier. Could this day get any worse?
Apparently, it could.
"Gottcha!" Haruka crowed triumphantly as she effectively pinned Setsuna beneath her, sitting on her and holding her arms above her head. "Let's see you try to get away now, huh?"
"Haruka!" Setsuna gasped, struggling to regain her breath, which wasn't easy with Haruka's weight crushing all the air out of her lungs. "Don't you think this is going a little too far?"
"No." Haruka's answer was short and to the point.
"What are you going to do to Puu?" Chibi-usa wailed, tugging ineffectually at Haruka's arm in an attempt to make her get off.
"I'm going to pay her back for what she's done to me!" Haruka snarled. "You just stay out of this!"
"No!" Chibi-usa cried. "No! No!"
"Chibi-usa-chan! What's... Haruka-san!"
Turning her head, Setsuna beheld the shocked visage of Minako. Behind her shoulder, Rei and Makoto peered with equally shocked looks on their faces. Ami had averted her face, and a blush was slowly creeping up her cheeks. Usagi, meanwhile, was caught behind her friends and was trying to jump up high enough to see what was going on.
"What are you doing, Haruka-san?" Ami asked, still not looking at them.
"In broad daylight, and in public!" Rei said.
"And in front of a child too!" Minako scolded, gesturing at Chibi-usa.
"What's going on?" Usagi wailed.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Haruka asked.
"What is going on?" Michiru's calm voice cut through the babble of the younger girls. Haruka froze.
Michiru came into sight and stopped, staring in open mouthed astonishment. Belatedly, Setsuna realized what a picture she and Haruka made, with her sprawled on the ground, Haruka sitting on her abdomen, and both of them looking flushed and out of breath. Michiru evidently realized the implications too, for her face began to go red much the way Haruka's had earlier. This was not good...
"Tenoh Haruka!" Michiru exploded. "What do you think you are doing?!"
"I... I..." Haruka stammered.
*Crack* Michiru's hand made contact with Haruka's face, leaving a nice impression behind in red.
"You tell me you love me, and then I find you like this with an overbearing floozy!" Michiru shrieked.
Setsuna decided that, given the circumstances, she could forgive Michiru for that comment just this once. If she ever said it again though....
"Michiru, honey!" Haruka cried desperately. "It's not what you think!"
"Oh, isn't it!" Michiru stuck her chin in the air and turned away from Haruka. "I don't want to hear it!" And she marched off, head held very high, not glancing backwards at Haruka.
"No!" Haruka cried. "It's not like that!" She scrambled off of Setsuna and ran after her retreating girlfriend. "I wasn't trying to sleep with her, I was trying to kill her!"
"Oh, and that makes it oh so much better," Setsuna muttered sarcastically.
"She was trying to kill you?" Usagi asked, sounding confused.
"Well, she was aiming for at least serious bodily harm," Setsuna said. "You know, I think that we should give Neptune a medal or something to commemorate her gallant act in saving a fellow soldier's life."
"I would hardly call it gallant," Makoto muttered, looking after the retreating pair.
"What was that all about anyway?" Rei asked.
"Well," Setsuna said, "let's just say that I won't be keeping any secrets from those two for a while..."
Owari
AN: Yes, I know it was strange and it had no point. It was the result of a muse bite. ::holds out arm with a bite mark on it:: Does this look like it's getting infected to you?
Muse: You know what bugs me? Pluto had the third talisman, so presumably she knew all along where the other two were.
Rapunzel: So?
Muse: So why didn't she just tell Haruka and Michiru and spare them a lot of trouble and heartache?
Rapunzel: Because it would have made the plot much simpler. Come on, you're a muse; you should be able to appreciate the need for a more complicated plot and more character angst. It all works out.
Muse: More character angst? Excuse me, but just because I'm a muse doesn't automatically mean that I like to torture the characters!
Rapunzel: Doesn't it?
Muse: Maybe it seems to you like that's I can do because that's the only thing I can trust you to write properly.
Rapunzel: Oh, bite me!
Muse: *chomp*
Rapunzel: OWWWWWW!!!
And thus, this little bit of insanity was born...
Disclaimers: Sailor Moon does not belong to me. My muse and the story lines she comes up with, most unfortunately, do.
Warnings: OOC, mentions of shoujo ai/yuri, some spoilers, general insanity
Unwitting Deceptions
(aka Pluto Learns Why One Should Never Keep Secrets From One's Teammates)
By Rapunzel
Meioh Setsuna was enjoying a fairly relaxing day, as far as her days went. Not a single youma had appeared looking for a fight, none of the other senshi had come to her looking for all the answers, and no one had stopped her to ask why her hair was green. Yes, it was a good day, especially compared to the previous day. The previous day had simply been a mess, what with the near deaths of Uranus and Neptune and the following chaos with Eudial. But today, today was good.
At least, today had been good...
"SETSUNA!!!!"
Setsuna looked up rather apprehensively at hearing her name said so forcefully. What she saw only increased her trepidation.
Haruka was stalking towards her, a determined look in her eyes and a scowl set on her face. "Setsuna..." she repeated menacingly, catching sight of her target.
Quickly assuming the look of impervious calm she usually wore in front of the other senshi, Setsuna faced her fellow outer soldier. "Why, Haruka, whatever is the matter with you? You look upset."
"What's wrong?! What's wrong, she says! I'll tell you what's wrong! Somebody sent me and my partner off on a wild goose chase because she wouldn't give us a few key pieces of information, that's what's wrong!"
"If you are referring to me..."
"Of course I'm referring to you! Who else would I be referring to?" Haruka practically shrieked.
"If you would let me speak," Setsuna said, holding up one hand to forestall whatever the other woman was going to say.
Haruka subsided slightly. "This had better be good..." she growled.
"Well," Setsuna began, "while it was essential to find the talismans ourselves, it was more essential to keep the enemy from getting them or from taking pure hearts. If you hadn't been tracking the enemy yourself to try and find the talismans, you wouldn't have been there to return some of the heart crystals, and more people might have died."
"So why didn't you just tell us to protect the general populace instead of making us hunt all over the place for something we possessed the whole time?" Haruka demanded.
/Because that would have been entirely too simple,/ Setsuna thought, but didn't say out loud. Instead, she said, "Because the talismans were better protected that way."
"Better protected?" Haruka sputtered. "What about their owners?! Did you ever stop and think about Michiru and me?! About how we suffered and fought to complete our mission? We thought we were going to have to kill someone to get the talismans! How do you think that made us feel?!"
"Didn't I tell you that in the case of the actual talisman holders, there would be no loss of life?"
"No!" Haruka answered rather acidly. "You didn't!"
"Oh. It must have slipped my mind."
Haruka's jaw dropped for a moment. Then she clamped her mouth shut, and her face began to turn red. Setsuna could see the color creeping up her cheeks. It was like watching a volcano getting ready to erupt.
"It slipped your mind?" Haruka hissed. "Is that all?"
"I am sorry," Setsuna said, seeing trouble on the horizon and hoping to put it off. "I thought you knew."
"You're sorry?!" Haruka repeated, her voice steadily growing in volume. She took a few steps towards the older woman, her hands balled into fists and shaking with rage. "YOU PUT US THROUGH MONTHS OF EMOTIONAL HELL, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT YOU'RE SORRY?!?!"
Faced with the spectacle Haruka made, face red, fists balled, and altogether angrier than Setsuna had ever seen her, Setsuna did what any sensible person would have done in her shoes. She ran.
"COME BACK HERE!" Haruka shouted. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!"
"That's why I'm not going back there," Setsuna muttered to herself. Then she decided that she had better save her breath for running.
As she darted through the crowds on the street, people turned to watch her. Murmurs of "What's going on?" and "Who is she?" and "How can she run that fast in high heels?" followed her.
/Years of practice, that's how./
Then she heard feet pounding behind her.
She had forgotten one very important fact: Haruka was a runner, and a damn good one too. Well, technically, she hadn't really forgotten it- she never forgot anything, after all- it had simply temporarily escaped her notice.
/Now I know why they tell you not to run from grizzly bears,/ she thought, just as Haruka came within arms reach of her.
With a lunge, Haruka tackled her, and the two of them went down in a flailing tangle of arms and legs. Setsuna tried to struggle to her feet, but Haruka grabbed a handful of hair and pulled hard. Wincing, Setsuna made a mental note to get even with Haruka for that one later. It was all very well for Haruka to use her long hair against her; _she_ looked as though she'd never had long hair in her life.
Vaguely, Setsuna was aware of someone shrieking at them as she and Haruka rolled on the ground, wrestling with one another. Of course, Setsuna was doomed. Haruka outweighed her by a good bit, and as alarmed as she was by the whole turn of events, she was still unwilling to summon her time staff and clock Haruka with it. There would be plenty of time for that later, after she got out from under her supposed ally.
The shrieking suddenly resolved itself into words in a voice she recognized. "Stop it! You're hurting Puu!"
"Small Lady?" Setsuna groaned. The last thing she needed was to have the child who looked up to her see her get the snot beaten out of her by a fellow soldier. Could this day get any worse?
Apparently, it could.
"Gottcha!" Haruka crowed triumphantly as she effectively pinned Setsuna beneath her, sitting on her and holding her arms above her head. "Let's see you try to get away now, huh?"
"Haruka!" Setsuna gasped, struggling to regain her breath, which wasn't easy with Haruka's weight crushing all the air out of her lungs. "Don't you think this is going a little too far?"
"No." Haruka's answer was short and to the point.
"What are you going to do to Puu?" Chibi-usa wailed, tugging ineffectually at Haruka's arm in an attempt to make her get off.
"I'm going to pay her back for what she's done to me!" Haruka snarled. "You just stay out of this!"
"No!" Chibi-usa cried. "No! No!"
"Chibi-usa-chan! What's... Haruka-san!"
Turning her head, Setsuna beheld the shocked visage of Minako. Behind her shoulder, Rei and Makoto peered with equally shocked looks on their faces. Ami had averted her face, and a blush was slowly creeping up her cheeks. Usagi, meanwhile, was caught behind her friends and was trying to jump up high enough to see what was going on.
"What are you doing, Haruka-san?" Ami asked, still not looking at them.
"In broad daylight, and in public!" Rei said.
"And in front of a child too!" Minako scolded, gesturing at Chibi-usa.
"What's going on?" Usagi wailed.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Haruka asked.
"What is going on?" Michiru's calm voice cut through the babble of the younger girls. Haruka froze.
Michiru came into sight and stopped, staring in open mouthed astonishment. Belatedly, Setsuna realized what a picture she and Haruka made, with her sprawled on the ground, Haruka sitting on her abdomen, and both of them looking flushed and out of breath. Michiru evidently realized the implications too, for her face began to go red much the way Haruka's had earlier. This was not good...
"Tenoh Haruka!" Michiru exploded. "What do you think you are doing?!"
"I... I..." Haruka stammered.
*Crack* Michiru's hand made contact with Haruka's face, leaving a nice impression behind in red.
"You tell me you love me, and then I find you like this with an overbearing floozy!" Michiru shrieked.
Setsuna decided that, given the circumstances, she could forgive Michiru for that comment just this once. If she ever said it again though....
"Michiru, honey!" Haruka cried desperately. "It's not what you think!"
"Oh, isn't it!" Michiru stuck her chin in the air and turned away from Haruka. "I don't want to hear it!" And she marched off, head held very high, not glancing backwards at Haruka.
"No!" Haruka cried. "It's not like that!" She scrambled off of Setsuna and ran after her retreating girlfriend. "I wasn't trying to sleep with her, I was trying to kill her!"
"Oh, and that makes it oh so much better," Setsuna muttered sarcastically.
"She was trying to kill you?" Usagi asked, sounding confused.
"Well, she was aiming for at least serious bodily harm," Setsuna said. "You know, I think that we should give Neptune a medal or something to commemorate her gallant act in saving a fellow soldier's life."
"I would hardly call it gallant," Makoto muttered, looking after the retreating pair.
"What was that all about anyway?" Rei asked.
"Well," Setsuna said, "let's just say that I won't be keeping any secrets from those two for a while..."
Owari
AN: Yes, I know it was strange and it had no point. It was the result of a muse bite. ::holds out arm with a bite mark on it:: Does this look like it's getting infected to you?