A/N: This fic is cross-posted over at Ao3 (same title). The footnotes are linked/hovertexted over there, so if scrolling bothers you please read there 3 (also, if you're impatient, the story is complete there. I'm going to be updating it every other day or so here)

Chapter 1: A Mote of Dust and a Name

Our tale begins, as all tales ultimately must, with a seed. This seed, currently sitting in a small linen sachet was quite unaware of the storied lineage to which it is an heir. If it had known, perhaps the events which unfolded on the night of November the 2nd two thousand and nineteen[1] would have gone rather differently. I will sum up these events here for you, but please bear in mind that the titular seed has no knowledge of them.

The Garden of Eden had existed for nearly two entire days and its current population numbered five; the demon Crawly and the angels Aziraphale (Guardian of the Eastern Gate), Cahethal (Warden of the Western Fields), Soqedhozi (Guardian of the North Shore), and Kutiel (who refused a title, but tended to linger around the Southern River). Crawly had spent much of the time since being ordered to the Garden avoiding the aforementioned angels, who he was sure knew he was there but who did not deign to search for a single lowly serpent.

In his quest to avoid being stepped on or impaled upon the great flaming sword he had seen the blond angel fiddling with that morning, Crawly was slithering around the base of towering Wall searching for a sunny spot to warm himself. The sun was new and Crawly could happily say it was his favorite feature of this new Universe the Above was playing around with. He raised his head and scented the air, there, just ahead there was some of that undefinable something that promised the best nap of his relatively short life. He slid through a patch of flowering moss, grey-green tendrils parting beneath the coal of his scales. He quite liked the little yellow flowers the moss was bravely trying to grow. It was a little against his mandate to 'get up there and cause some trouble' but he sent a small miracle into the patch of moss to ensure it was not out-competed by the larger plants surrounding it[2] and continued on his way. Through some lovely little ferns, over the root of a tall tree, the first to produce a pinecone if his guess was right, and finally to the spot he had smelled.

It was, of course, perfect. This was Eden after all. But in Crawly's estimation it was more perfect than even the rest of the garden was managing just then. Surrounded on three sides by tree roots and on the fourth by a wall of swaying grasses, the branches above opened up just enough to allow a single shaft of sunlight to reach and warm the flat bit of shale at the very center. Small particles of dust glinted in the beam of light and Crawly's mouth curled into an expression that should be quite impossible given his anatomy. A speck of dust in a sunbeam. Crawly had spent the last while of his time as an angel helping the Lightbringer hand the stars and shaping the nebulae. He had quite liked that bit of being a part of the Above, even if the rest had left a great deal to be desired (once he had figured out what desire was).

After lifting his head from the soil to check for Angels and finding himself alone, Crawly slithered into the sunbeam. He curled himself into a ball, resting his head on one of his coils, and basked. Heaven and Hell could rot for all he cared if it meant he was free to enjoy feelings like this on Earth[3].

How does this moment of peace relate to the little seed in the sachet, you might be wondering?

Crawly was awoken from his nap by a woman's finger gently running across the top of his head. He blinked his way to consciousness, unaware that he had slept away two entire days (nearly a full third of the time the planet had existed, it was a very good nap). The woman smiled down at him and spoke in the language of the Angels, her vowels blurred and her consonants clipped in a way no angel's tongue could manage.

"Hello there, little one." Crawly did not speak. She shifted and laid down, her gentle curves pressing the grasses flat on either side of her. When her eyes were level with Crawly's she spoke again, "My husband, Adam, is meant to be naming all the beasts of the land, sea, and air. But, we have not seen anything quite like you yet so I do not know what to call you."

Crawly tightened his coils just a bit, aware in some deep part of his being that this was a very important moment in the history of Creation.

"If I were to name you," she whispered, "Do you think you might keep it a secret from Adam? He is very good at naming things, but," here she glanced away from him to the shale. Her blunt nails scraped little lines into the stone, "But, I feel a little as if I am not yet real." A little smile curled her lips. "It sounds so silly when I say it aloud, but it is true. Adam even named me. Oh, I did not introduce myself. Hello, little one, my name is Eve, wife of Adam." She reached out one finger towards him. Unsure of what she wanted, Crawly extended the tip of his tail and touched it to her finger. She waggled it up and down a few times.

"There, that was more proper. So," she beamed at him, "may I name you? It seems only fair to have permission first, it is your life after all."

Ever so slowly, Crawly nodded his head.

"Oh, thank you!" Eve said. She looked at him for long enough for him to begin to shift uncomfortably. No one had looked at him so kindly for so long since he Fell. "I think I will call you a 'snake'. Is that an alright name?"

Crawly considered the name. He had never heard it before, but it fit in the same way an updraft fit his wings or the sun fit his scales. He nodded again.

"Good," she tapped the top of his head with her finger again. "I should be getting back, but I will make sure that 'snake' is what my dear husband comes up with when it is time to name you all proper."

She stood and left, and a deep sadness swept over Crawly. Here was the magnificent woman, the first of her kind in all of Creation, who was clever and kind and had only wanted to take some agency in the world around her and she would still need to ask permission from the man for whom she had been made to serve to actualize that agency. He shivered a little, despite the perfect sunbeam still falling upon him. He did not mean to Fall, but he could not regret it when faced with the lack of choice the Above forced upon those over which it ruled.

Suddenly feeling as if he could not take another moment in the sun, he uncurled himself and crept towards the wall.

And there it was. Just at the edge of the little slab of shale was a single seed. The first to ever form and fall from a plant. He glanced around and closed his eyes, casting his awareness about for prying eyes. Upon finding none, he swiftly shifted from snake (oh he really did like the sound of that) to demon. Then, he picked up the seed pod, slipped it into a fold of his robes, and stepped out of the light entirely.

Footnotes:
[1] Propriety would have me say 'in the year of our Lord' somewhere about here, but 2019 happens to be the same year in which the Good Lord planned to end the world entirely, so she will forgive me if I say propriety be damned.

[2] After Adam and Eve were cast out, Crowley was obliged to leave Eden, lest he be found by Angels less gregarious than Aziraphale. He never returned, but if he had, he would have found this same patch of moss still thriving, star-shaped yellow flowers open to catch the sun, in the middle of what would had become one of the most arid places on Earth.

[3] Later, nearly 6000 years later in fact, he would identify this as the first time he had thought of himself as being on the side of the Middle rather than the Above or the Below.

Biblical (and non-biblical but still religious) references: Please, if I got any of this wrong, assume I did that on purpose and its artistic license and not (as would be the truth) my many years of skipping Sunday school or any other church service showing.

Cahethal – the angel of agriculture, in the Book of Adam and Eve (not considered 'canon' by any modern religion as far as I'm aware, but supposedly depicting the days after Adam and Eve were cast from the garden) they take their first meal from the food that grows to the west.

Soqedhozi – the angel of balances, who weighs deeds against each other (the sea to the north of Eden was said to be able to cleanse humans of their sins, so I thought that might be interpreted as 'wiping the slate clean' as it were and be in the domain of balance).

Kutiel – angel who governs water and the use of divining rods. Adam and Eve did not need to drink until they left the garden and took their first necessary sips of water from the southern river, divining rods are used to find water when none is visible.