Hermione Granger was one pissed-off witch. She had caught her erstwhile boyfriend in bed IN HER flat, with yet another slag...AND he had the nerve to tell her that since she wasn't seeing to his needs, that he had the right to make "alternate arrangements". Hermione flung her engagement ring in his face and booted his cheating arse, along with that of his hussy, out of her flat and directly into the Burrow...naked as the day they were born!

A little later that day, Hermione was very pleased to learn from a somewhat elated Ginny that Molly exploded at the sight of a very naked Ronald Billius Weasley, plus his flavor of the day, sprawling at his mother's feet...better yet, when the Weasleys had been in the middle of a dinner party! Serves him right, she thought venomously.

The very next day, Molly showed up at her place of employment to smooth matters over. Although she was still outraged at her youngest son's unsavory antics, he was a Weasley and Hermione wasn't...at least not yet. Not wanting a huge scandal, Molly hoped to sweep the whole matter under the carpet so that the society wedding of the season would still take place in just a few weeks.

Hermione had enough. "Mrs. Weasley", she started. "In the past six months, I have caught Ronald cheating on me...in my own bed...with more than 15 different witches! This last one was one too many...actually one should have been too many but I really love your family and so I gave Ron chances I wouldn't have given any other wizard. But now? I would no more marry your son than I would marry Voldemort...in fact, Voldemort might have been the more attractive option as he only had one slag...Bellatrix...whereas your precious son has dipped his quill in dozens of slags...and I want no more part of him! It's over...finished...terminated! Whatever word you like, it is ended...no more second chances for a cheating weasel of a boyfriend!" Hermione finished vehemently.

Molly Weasley was outraged. Her precious son was being spurned by the Gryffindor Princess...how dare she turn Ronald away. Yes, he had made a few slip ups...more than 15, apparently, but still, he was her son and this no good snip had no right to disparage her little boy! (If only Molly knew the complete truth..."little" was the operating word!) Molly started to rant at the upstart...telling Hermione what a pain-in-the butt she had always been...demanding special attention and not appreciating what the Weasley's had done for her. By the time she reached the matter of one Ronald Billius Weasley, Molly was practically spitting with rage!

Hermione discreetly pressed a bell on her desk and in a minute or two, her assistant stepped into Hermione's office. "Yes, Miss Granger," she said.

Hermione gestured towards Molly and said to her assistant, "Mrs. Weasley is just going now. Could you please escort her to the lifts? Thank you, Susan. And thank you for visiting, Mrs. Weasley." And then Hermione turned back to her work...or at least she tried to but her concentration was shot. Having a bru-ha-ha from what had been going to be her mother-in-law was not conducive to office work...so she went home.

Once she was back at her flat, Hermione packed up ALL of the Weasel's belongings and send them through the floo to the Burrow. Then she waved her wand and instantaneously his ugly mug was wiped from all of her photographs. After that, she scourgified everything possible, sent her mattress/bed to charity, and arranged for the delivery of another mattress/bed. And then she changed her wards.

The next day, Ginny popped by Hermione's job and asked if she could come out to lunch with her. Hermione saw no reason why not so promptly at twelve noon, she told Susan that she was going out to lunch and would be back before 2 pm. Susan nodded at her and then Hermione and Ginny went out to a nice private lunch in Muggle London.

As soon as they were seated, Ginny said excitedly, "Good for you for getting rid of my brother...dating a cockroach would be up one level from scumbag Ron. Anyway, guess what?!"

"Hmmm..." Hermione said. "Not a clue...so what's up?"

"Ron is still getting married," Ginny said emphatically. "Everything is exactly the same...even the dress...the only two things that are different is that Lavender's name is on everything and that Lavender is now the bride. Basically Mum just slotted Lavender into what was your wedding and so the spectacle of the year will still be taking place in just two week's time!"

"Is she pregnant?" Hermione asked thoughtfully.

"Hermione!" Ginny gasped.

"Well for someone who hadn't been bride-material until I dumped the weasel, what can be her motive for marrying so suddenly. I am sure that I am not the only one or will be the only one to wonder if Ron has her knocked up." Hermione replied.

"Be that as it may, Lavender either is an idiot or she actually loves Ron. But the best bit is that you are invited to both the bridal shower to take place next week AND to the wedding the following weekend...you even get a "plus one" for the wedding/reception. Are you going to come?" Ginny asked anxiously.

"Lavender wants ME at her bridal shower and her wedding too?" Hermione was aghast!

"Well...I wouldn't put it that way. It is more that Mom wants you to see how easily you were replaced as well as that she staged the wedding of the year...and I think Lavender wants to lord it over you that she has Ron and you don't. And at this late date, I think my soon-to-be sister-in-law doesn't think you can get an escort for the wedding and then won't come." Ginny replied.

Hermione said, "Hmmm...I am almost tempted to skip both events but if I do, Molly will think she has one over on me...and I just had a scathingly brilliant idea of what to give Lavender and Ron as a wedding present! You said the shower was next week?"

"Yup!" Ginny eyes glistened in excitement. Hermione WAS going to go to the wedding...she could hardly wait until the shit-hit-the-fan...and she was determined to have a ring-side seat for the main event!

"Great! I have just enough time to have a little item custom-made by the Goblins...

After lunch, Hermione stopped by Harry's office to discuss her predicament. He was free so she sat down while he shut the door and warded the room against eavesdroppers. "So, Hermione, what's up? I assume you are here to discuss your break-up?"

"Actually," Hermione replied, "Dumping Ron was the smartest thing I have ever done. I am just sorry I had such poor self-esteem that it has taken this long for me to put the boot to him! That isn't the problem...the marriage is still going to take place two weeks from now...Molly has slotted in Lavender in my former place. I have no problem with that. It's just that I have been invited to the bridal shower AND to the wedding/reception. And I have no one to bring as my "plus one"...everyone else has already made their plans and I am shit-out-of-luck! Any suggestions, Harry?"

"Well, Hermione, first off, congratulations! I never knew why you put up with all of Ron's bullshit but I am glad it is over. As for the wedding, yes, you are right...nearly everyone was already invited and have their plans... You need someone who was never invited or even considered..." Harry trailed off.

"You mean a Death Eater, don't you, Harry"? Hermione said tentatively.

"Unless you would rather go 'stag'?!" Harry replied quietly.

Hermione thought for a minute and then said, "Well, what, or I should say, WHO are my options? Who is out on parole?"

Harry said slowly, "Antonin Dolohov, but you can't take him because he killed Molly's brothers and she is likely to curse both of you on the spot. There is also Yaxley, both Malfoy's, Marcus Flint. You aren't likely to want Flint as he has more than a touch of a troll to him...thicker than a plank, that one is! Oh, I know, what about Thorfinn Rowle?! You used to have a thing for him, at least I think it was him..."

"I never could hide things from you, Harry, could I?! Yes, I had a thing for Rowle but I was too young for him and definitely NOT his type. Not sure he would agree to go with me but it won't hurt to ask. By the way, what exactly is he doing for his parole?" Hermione asked thoughtfully.

"The Ministry has both Rowle and Dolohov doing gardening and landscaping. It was thought that some fresh air would be good for both of them, especially after Azkaban. They seem to be doing quite well. Shall I ask Rowle to pop by after work today?" Harry inquired.

"That would be an excellent idea. Perhaps he could meet me at the Leaky Cauldron for a drink and we could discuss whether or not he would consider being my escort to a bridal shower, the actual wedding, and the reception!" Hermione replied.

Harry said he would make the necessary arrangements. Hermione thanked him profusely before returning to her own office to finish all her work before the end of the day, when it would be time for her to meet a piece of her past. She had testified for Thorfinn when his case went to trial. She told the Wizengamot that contrary to public opinion, Rowle had bent over backward to protect her at Hogwarts and when he came up against her during the second wizarding war, that he always found a way to let her go, and to help her more directly too! It turned out that he was the source for much of the news Hermione was able to bring to the Order of the Phoenix. And so, he only received three months in Azkaban.

Knowing well Ron's jealous insecurities, Hermione did not look up Thorfinn when he was paroled. She trusted Harry to keep her informed and he was the only other person who know of her crush on Rowle. Thankfully she had ditched the cheating Weasel and now she could spend some time chatting with him...perhaps sharing a drink, perhaps taking him to the wedding.

Hermione was early for her meeting with Thorfinn at the Leaky Cauldron. She had a word with Tom about who she was expecting and then secured a quiet booth, before drinking a glass of firewhiskey. A moment or two later, she heard a quiet chuckle in her ear and when she turned around, there was Thorfinn Rowle...her erstwhile crush...and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was still interested in him now. Certainly, he scrubbed up well.

Thorfinn knew he was in trouble. He had fallen for the bushy haired witch who had a serious attitude problem...and from the way his heart threatened to pump itself out of his chest, he still felt the same way today. So, what did she want and WHY did she choose him?! He said, "Hello, Sunshine. Long time no see! What's up?" and then he bowed over her hand, picked it up and turned it over, before kissing the palm of her hand.

Hermione knew SHE was in trouble. Just his voice alone made her core throb with excitement...and when he kissed the palm of her hand? She was definitely dead meat! She said, "It's nice to see you too, Thorfinn Rowle...how is life treating you?"

"Well, thanks to you and Potter, I didn't have to spend too much time in Azkaban and special thanks to you having a little word in the ear of the warden, I wasn't at the tender mercy of either the guards or my fellow prisoners. I can never repay what you did for me, so what can I do for you, today? When Potter contacted my employer today, well...no one ignores him...so what's up?"

Hermione took a deep breath and started, "I was engaged to Ronald Weasley..."

Thorfinn interrupted, "Yeah, I heard that...poor taste on your part!"

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "Very poor taste. I should have kicked him to the curb the first time he cheated on me, but I allowed my love for his family to color my judgement. But that is over now...I kicked one cheating Weasel to the curb and his mother deep-sixed me when I refused to reconcile with him. We were supposed to get married in two weeks time. Ginny and the twins are the only Weasley's still talking to me. Anyway I had lunch with Ginny today. She told me that the Red Devil had managed to talk Lavender Brown into marrying Ron on the date he and I were to marry. Basically, Molly slotted Lavender into what had been my wedding...she is even using the same vows and the wedding dress I had purchased (not that I had anymore use for it myself)."

Hermione took a deep breath and continued, "Anyway, the Red Devil and Lavender have extended a wedding invitation to me, and also to the bridal shower...and that is where you come in...I need a "plus one"."

"A 'plus one'," Thorfinn asked.

"It's a Muggle term," Hermione explained. "It basically means that the invited may bring someone with them...and that is the problem. This wedding has been planned for a very long time and nearly everyone has been invited...so there isn't anyone left to be my "plus one". Harry suggested I ask you...I should have thought of you myself...would you come with me to the Weasel's wedding, and the shower too, Thorfinn?"

Thorfinn didn't even take a second to answer her, "Of course, Hermione...anything for you. I just want one little thing."

"Oh?" she queried.

"One little kiss, please..." Thorfinn replied.

Hermione's face flushed. "I think that can be arranged...shall we go for a walk?" she asked.

"Certainly...let's polish off our firewhiskey first. Bottom's up!" Thorfinn slammed his glass on the table and tossing a few galleons on the table, he put an arm around Hermione and walked her out and into Muggle London...Hermione snuggling into his embrace. Shortly thereafter, they shared a rather sweet kiss that lasted and lasted and lasted. Finally, they broke apart breathlessly and decided that one was not enough. Hermione invited Thorfinn back to her flat...where they ended up talking all night long...they just couldn't get enough of the other person's company!

Over the next ten days, Thorfinn and Hermione were inseparable. Other than for work, they were always in the other's presence...hand-holding, walking together, snuggling, talking, cooking...whatever...and true love bloomed! By the end of the ten day period, they knew that they wanted to spend the rest of their life together...and they decided to marry. They didn't want a long engagement though as they had decided not to make love until after they were married.

One of the things Hermione confided in with Thorfinn on that first night together was about her desire for personal revenge on one Ronald Billius Weasley. When she whispered in his ear her plan for revenge, Thorfinn collapsed in laughter. It took him a full five minutes to regain his composure...and then he grinned evilly!

"I can hardly wait to see his face," Thorfinn gloated! "And Lavender's too! I wonder if she will go through with the wedding with such a "present"?!"

Hermione grinned evilly! "Payback is a bitch, Ronald Weasley! Time for you to pay-up! As for Lavender? I think she will take it as a case of sour-grapes...and that will make my revenge that much sweeter when she discovers that I wasn't being catty or jealous...that I was speaking the actual truth! She has such a big mouth that every single witch will know exactly what the Weasel is equipped with...or rather I should say, isn't equipped with!"

Both Hermione and Thorfinn collapsed together in laughter...and this time it took more than five minutes for them to regain their composure. "Remind me not to piss you off, Hermione," Thorfinn replied.

"Nothing to worry about as long as you don't cheat on me!" She retorted!

"I don't cheat, Sunshine! If I had you in my life, as I do, all the other witches would be nothing in comparison. Why would anyone want a moon when they could have the sun herself in their life!" Thorfinn waxed poetic.

Hermione smiled and snuggled even further against Thorfinn...tucked up under one of his massive arms...she felt like she had come home. It may not have taken long for her to know, but this time she knew that this was the right wizard for her...and she would spend the rest of her life letting him know what he meant to her!

Thorfinn was smiling ear-to-ear. He was incredibly happy. Although it could be considered a little soon, he knew that this was the one and only witch for him. He had found his happy-ever-after in Hermione Granger and he would devote the rest of his life to making her happy! And as for her ex-Weasel? At every single opportunity, Thorfinn would make it his personal mission to rub in Weasley's face what he had thrown away and could never have again...but Thorfinn could have it and did!

The next day, the duo met for lunch and then walked over to Gringotts where they asked to speak to Ragnar. Ragnar had them brought to a private office where Hermione could discreetly commission some special jewelry to be made as a "wedding present" for Lavender Brown and and one cheating, scumbag Ronald Weasley. Ragnar was no fool...he knew all about Ronald's litany of slags as well as how Molly had tried to bully Hermione into going through with the so-called wedding-of-the-year.

Ragnar also remembered that Hermione came to see the goblins voluntarily after the end of the second wizarding war to arrange to pay her portion of the reparations required to mend the damage done when the Golden Trio hi-jacked their dragon and flew him through the ceiling! Hermione did that automatically and respectfully. The other two morons had to be compelled into doing the "right thing".

So, if Hermione needed some closure as well as a nice bit of revenge, then he would be more than happy to give her any assistance required. After all, once everyone saw what had been possible for the goblins to make, goblin-made jewelry would be in demand once more. Hermione showed Ragnar a drawing of the two items that she wanted them to make and gave them a time-frame of about three days to make it.

Ragnar knew that the short time-frame would ordinarily require hefty galleons but he had a soft spot for her and he didn't like the Weasel...so they came to a quick resolution. His only regret was that he couldn't be there in person to see the faces of Lavender and the Weasel! Ah well, there was sure to be coverage of that and the wedding in the "Daily Prophet". He could read about it in peace...and snicker...

The day before the bridal shower, Hermione and Thorfinn picked up her present from Gringotts. After looking at it closely, she happily handed over the necessary galleons. She wasn't sure who was happier...she or the goblin. Who knew that they had a wicked sense of humor!

As soon as Hermione and Thorfinn got back to her flat, both of them opened up the gift and sat there snickering...they could hardly wait until they saw the faces of the Weasel and his Lavender, as well as the face of the Red Devil herself. Although both of them knew that it was quite possible that both of them would be banned from the wedding after such a gift...but it wasn't like she wanted to go to the wedding in the first place!

That night, Hermione sprang a surprise on her friends. She invited Harry, Ginny, Luna, Antonin, Hannah, Neville, Minerva, and Severus ostensibly to a barbecue with her and Thorfinn...and once they arrived, she sprang a wedding on them...Kingsley Shacklebolt married Hermione and her Thorfinn in the midst of her friends. Their wedding was so sweet and special that even Minerva McGonagall was teary-eyed. Hermione asked everyone not to say a word because she had arranged for the story, complete with pictures, to run in the Quibbler issue on Ron's wedding day...as a little "gift" for the Weasel. Everyone understood and agreed!

As the next day would be the day when Hermione started to get her revenge, they planned on a relatively early night. Also, Thorfinn had arranged for a surprise for Hermione. Narcissa Malfoy was going to come over to help her with her hair and make-up...and she had a few dresses she was bringing with her. Thorfinn's contribution was that he had gotten the Rowle family jewelry from his vault the day that they had gone to see Gringotts and Hermione would be wearing the family wedding ring on her left hand, along with an emerald necklace, earrings, and a bracelet. He intended that she should outshine the intended bride, thus pissing off Molly Weasley and hopefully the Weasel too! One could only hope!

The next morning, Hermione was surprised by both the gift of the Rowle heirloom jewelry and the presence of Lady Narcissa Malfoy. After kissing Thorfinn silly, Hermione broached Lady Malfoy as to why she was there. Narcissa told her that she was there to help dress her for this very special day. Hermione asked why she would help her, a Mudblood. Narcissa rebuked her for calling herself that pejorative name and said that thanks to Hermione's testimony, Draco was able to avoid Azkaban. Draco and she would be forever in her debt for that. By the time they were finished with her, Narcissa and Thorfinn had managed to turn Hermione into a perfect pureblood princess! And Thorfinn could hardly wait to rub it in the Weasel's face that he, Thorfinn Rowle, had such a glorious witch all to himself...

Ginny was hosting Lavender's bridal shower at Grimmauld Place. By the time Hermione and Thorfinn arrived, the place was full to the rafters. A smiling Hermione gave her gift to Ginny to put with the others and then went up to Lavender to congratulate her on her forthcoming wedding. Lavender seemed surprised to see her. Did she not think that Hermione would attend or was it that she was upset that Hermione wasn't alone and miserable but was actually escorted by one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight?

Hermione just smiled and introduced Thorfinn to Lavender, before introducing him to Ronald. She knew that good manners meant she should introduce Lavender and Ron to Thorfinn as his was the higher status (even if he was a former Death Eater), but Ronald was just plain bad tempered and she was concerned that he might make a scene if he wasn't given what he thought was "his due"! Hermione suspected though that he was jealous that Hermione so easily replaced him...and "upgraded" in the process!

"Lavender and Ronald, may I introduce you to Lord Thorfinn Rowle." Thorfinn held out his hand which Lavender took but Ron ignored him.

"Slumming, are you, Hermione? Couldn't get a proper date of your own and had to bribe a Death Eater?" Ron said venomously.

"Actually, Mr. Weasel, I mean Weasley, it is my pleasure to escort Hermione to Lavender's bridal shower. Hermione would be an asset on the arm of any proud wizard!" Thorfinn replied while patting her forearm that was resting on his other arm.

The Weasel looked like he had been sucking lemons. The whole purpose to inviting Hermione was to show her up as being without a wizard of her own, and thus being a miserable witch who hadn't deserved Ronald Weasley...but it had backfired in his own face...Molly's face too!

Lavender too didn't look that thrilled that Hermione had a Sacred 28 as her escort but there wasn't much she could do about it now that she was here. And to see Hermione so much better dressed than she was...covered in expensive jewelry...and with such a prestigious escort, even if he was a former Death Eater, well it was just too much. Hermione was already here for the shower but Lavender would be damned if Hermione was going to outshine her at her own wedding... She would leave it to Molly to extricate Hermione from the wedding or she would refuse to marry Ron...period!

After a few more polite words were exchanged semi-civilly, Hermione and Thorfinn made way for the next attendees to greet Lavender and went to talk to Luna and Neville. Ginny joined them shortly there after and asked what they were giving Lavender and Ron as a wedding present. Hermione whispered that she would just have to wait and see...like everyone else. Ginny pouted!

Finally came the time for the happy couple to open up all their wedding presents. When Lavender reached Hermione's present, she opened up the box and found two things in it...a solid gold tiny pair of tweezers and a gold magnifying glass. Lavender laughed and asked what they are for. Hermione said significantly and knowingly that Lavender would need the magnifying glass to find what passes for Ronald's manhood, and then would need the tweezers to insert it inside her.

Ronald turned an unflattering shade of tomato red and his eyes bulged. Ginny started to titter and then into a full blown laugh. Lavender laughed it off as if it was "sour grapes" and went through with her wedding to the Weasel...but with Hermione uninvited! Ginny later told Hermione that Molly was incandescent with rage when she read about her wedding on Ron's wedding day, which had reduced the public attention to her young's son's wedding. Ron was equally incensed...he thought that Hermione didn't deserve to have a wizard of her own if she wouldn't marry him...he wanted her to be alone and miserable. Hermione didn't care...she had her Thorfinn and Lavender was welcome to her Weasel!

The day after the wedding, Lavender filed for an annulment from her so-called husband, alleging non-consummation of the marriage; in particular, citing his minuscule manhood and an inability to feel anything once he was inside her. To say that the Weasel was mortified was an understatement. Now all of the wizarding world knew that Ronald Billius Weasley's wedding tackle was the size of a cocktail weenie...and any self-respecting witch could read about it in the "Daily Prophet", "The Quibbler", "Witch Weekly", "Wizarding World", and in all fine publications catering to witches all around the world! One bright soul even quipped that the one thing that Ronald Weasley and a real weasel have in common was that both have teeny-tiny dicks! And that made him a worldwide laughingstock!

Said Weasel's life was nothing but misery and regret. He had thrown away the one good thing in his life...Hermione Granger...and there was nothing he could do to get her back again. And as for other witches, after all that Lavender Brown had to say about her wedding night, no decent witch would have him! Any two (or more) witches would look at him...make an obscene gesture that implied his equipment was underwhelming and then they would giggle at him! And the wizards were even worse! Eventually, Rom made his way to the Muggle world...but there, without his reputation as a so-called war hero, he couldn't get anyone at all, not even a 'crack ho'...and so had to return home to live with his mother...where upon they made each other miserable for the rest of their lives!

Hermione's revenge was both sweet and complete! She and Thorfinn lived happily ever after!

&&&&& The End &&&&&