So this idea popped up last year... Scenes on JAG where Harm and Mac just should have and could have become lovers.

Honestly, such delicious chemistry shouldn't be wasted!

Soul Searching.

"Permission to enter?" I ask with a soft smile as my partner sits behind the Admiral's desk fiddling the remote to the TV. At my presence, he shuts off the device and waves me in asking me to close the door.

"Major MacKenzie reporting as ordered, sir." I do as told and then stand at attention in front of the desk and chuckle while he rolls his eyes at me.

"At ease, Major." He has that brilliant smile, the one that makes my insides turn to mush and I take in the look in his eyes as he watches me settle into one of the guest chairs. Harm leans back and just stares at me and I wonder what he's thinking. It's like he wants to ask something personal but, he can't quite get it out.

"So, Bud tells me you sold the budget to the SECNAV?" I ask, by way of breaking the ice. It's not quite uncomfortable to have him look at me that way it's just rather odd. The last few years, I find he has different ways of studying me and the glances that have changed from the time we met until he found closure over Diane's death. At first, he was studying me and I would get such a feeling of unease as if I were an imposter that took him away from the woman he loved.

After everything that has happened this year and especially after Russia, the glances have changed to something that I can't quite wrap my head around. It's like he wants me, desires me and I am not sure what to do about it. Part of me wants to push the boundary between friends and lovers. Part of me wants to run and hide away from a relationship that I know will be all consuming. As it is, for the last few years, I can't stop thinking about him and how it would feel to kiss him, really kiss him without the ghost of another woman between us.

"Yeah, he did a little creative slashing and I think the Admiral will be pleased." He says with a smirk, obviously not impressed with mountain of paperwork our CO had dropped onto Harm's lap.

"Have you heard from him?"

"No… I have no idea where he is or what he's doing. He told me it was personal."

Personal, yeah there seemed to be a lot of that going around lately. I had my own personal issues a week earlier with the death of my father. I hadn't wanted to go and was attempting to compartmentalize my feelings for him in a neat little memory box I filed in the recess of my brain. Out of sight, out of mind. But, it was something that Harm had said, a truth that he made me see that I needed to face for my sake.

"Yeah, I know how that goes." I say with a sigh and ease my eyes away from him. I refuse to cry anymore over Joe MacKenzie. We had made peace, sort of and I only wish it would have happened sooner. "That's why you haven't asked me about last week, isn't it?" He wants to say something but, I see that he's at a loss. "I never thanked you for the flowers, they were beautiful." And expensive. The lavish bouquet along with stuffed brown bear must have set him back a hundred dollars. I had cried once I saw who they were from, my heart strings tugging at the fact that he cared that much for me.

"I would have come to the funeral." He says and his eyes tell me that he was upset I didn't invite him.

"I know, that's why I didn't call you until Dad was buried. My mother was there… It was a growing experience. If you hadn't talked me into it, I never would have gone."

His eyes are gently holding my own and in the darkening of the office, I can still see the concern and that bit of something more. "Mac, I can't talk you into something you didn't want." Actually, he could only I am not willing to admit that to him.

"Just the same, thank you." He offers me a half smile and the look in his eyes turns from caring friend to desire. It's a look that I had seen before and Harm has a habit of quickly turning away, embarrassed at being caught. This time, he doesn't turn away, he just continues to hold my gaze and I feel alive, desired. "It's getting dark in here."

"Is it?" His voice was low, bedroom voice kinda sexy and if I didn't know any better, I would say that Harm was trying to seduce me. I swallow hard and then dart my tongue out to lick my lips, an action that makes him stare at them hungrily.

The energy in the office has changed and I am not sure why it happened only that I am drawn to him in a way I have been denying myself for far too long. From just his gaze, I could feel heat pooling between my legs with a delicious ache that can only be soothed by him. I am not entirely sure what possessed me to stand and make my way around the desk, perhaps it was the heat of his gaze - the magnetic pull that we couldn't stop. But, when I reach him, Harm stands up quickly and does not hesitate has he pulls me into his arms.

He kisses me like I am the only woman left in the world - deeply, passionately and I allow his tongue entry into my mouth. My tongue meshes with his own, teases and I feel his strong hands running down my back to my six. Effortlessly, he lifts me up onto the edge of the Admiral's desk and parts my thighs so that he could step between them. As my skirt hikes up, he gets a full view of my thigh high silk stockings.

His eyes drop to my thighs as his fingers begin to trace along the elastic of my stocking and then over my skin. Harm seems fascinated by the contrast and if the bulge in his pants is any indication, it's turned him on as well. "Like what you see?"

"Yes, very much." He says in a husky tone and we kiss again.

I feel his hands between us, his fingers working to release the brass buttons of my uniform, pushing it open and sliding the material off of my shoulders. Carefully, he places it at the edge of the desk and comes back to me. Harm takes my lips with his and then begins to nibble my lower lip, my jaw stopping at the crook of my neck before his mouth descends lower. He stops between my breasts, his tongue darting out to lick over the top of the white lace bra I am wearing. One of his hands works on my right breast, massaging it gently over the fabric of my bra.

His touch makes me quiver and I let out an involuntary moan when he replaces his hand with his mouth, the cloth triangle over that breast turning moist from his saliva. Wanting more, he unhooks the offending fabric and takes my breast into his warm mouth. I can't help the whimper that escapes me as he begins to lavish my nipple, his tongue swirling and flicking - his teeth lightly nipping. It sends a shot of electric warmth to me and as I shift under his touch, I feel myself wet and ready for him and about to self combust. "Harm."

Desperate for him to touch me where I need him to, I take his hand and guide it up my leg stopping just before the juncture of my thighs. I spread my legs wider for him and he takes his attention away from my breasts and grins mischievously before his fingers brush over my wet panties. His fingers move back and forth as he kisses me to the same rhythm of his movements. Frustrated with his teasing, I decide to do my own and reach out to grab him through his trousers. "Oh." I gasp, finding his hardness straining against the fabric.

Harm's breath hitches as he pushes my hand away from him. "Keep doing that, Marine and I won't last."

"I don't care." I tell him the want to feel him inside, stretching and filling me so damned overwhelming. We're in a precarious position and foreplay could wait for another day. I push off the desk and walk him back onto the chair, pushing him into it.

"Mac, what are you..." Before he could finish his question, I straddle him, my core rubbing over his hardness. I kiss him hard, passionately and begin a slow, teasing movement over him. I grind myself against him, feeling his erection growing impossibly harder each time my I rub over him. I hear him groan, and he stills my movements long enough to work on his belt and zipper.

Harm raises up slightly, enough to pull down his boxers and pants in one movement and then the part of his anatomy that I had been curious about for years stands at attention. To say that he's impressive is an understatement and it's all I can do to not drop to my knees and take him in my mouth. The ache between my legs grows unbearable and the need I have to feel him inside me is paramount. I look him in the eye, holding his gaze as I impale myself on him.

My eyes close involuntarily and we both remain still as my body accommodates to his size. It's been a long time since I've been with anyone and I am sure he could tell if the look in his eyes is any indication. His hands come to my hips, holding me still as he tries to control his breathing. We've barely even moved and Harm's chest is is heaving as if he'd finished a marathon.

And then we begin to move, his hands on my hips guiding me up and down on his length. I hold onto his shoulders, using them to brace myself as our movements turn desperate. I grind against him, moving my hips in a circular motion that has him stiffling a moan against the crook of my neck.

I feel him throbbing inside me and then the sudden warmth as his seed spills into me. Still, I ride him, enjoying each delicious movement until I feel my own release which I muffle into his mouth as we kiss passionately.

We remain joined for several long minutes trying to catch a breath. My legs buckle when I try to stand and Harm catches me before I fall. His arms wrap around my body and lips descend onto mine kissing me gently, lovingly. "Not quite how I thought our first time would be." He confesses with a sexy, flyboy grin.

"You've thought about us?"

"Incessantly." He confesses, cheeks burning red from his admission. It's honestly the sweetest thing he's ever said to me. "We uh...I don't want this to be a one time thing, Sarah."

Sarah. God, the way he says my name sounds like some sort of sweet sin. "I don't either."

He kisses me again and then his forehead rests on mine. "Jordan is history, you know… It wasn't really working out." Not that I was surprised. She was nice enough but, psychoanalysed things too much to the point of annoyance.

A knock on the door stops yet another kiss and Harm holds on to me tighter, almost crushing. "Commander, we're ready."

I look at Harm confused. "See you downstairs, Bud." He yells at the door and then meets my eyes. "I was going with Bud and Harriet to get a new car… Come with me."

"Isn't buying a car with the woman you're seeing kinda like putting an engagement ring on her finger?" I grin at him teasingly and expecting some good natured ribbing. Instead, his eyes darken and his hands begin to move over me intimately again.

"Consider it a kind of courtship." He lifts me to the edge of the desk and stands between my legs. I want to tell him that we don't have time but, when he slides into me again, I lose the thought. "I love you, Mac." He breathes into my ear and then plunges into me.

"I love you, too."