The Pen or the SWORD

"You vultures ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" May Parker yelled at the mass of reporters gathered outside the door of her friend's place, where she and Peter was staying ever since they got displaced by "The Blip", which was a nice way of saying that they were killed by the one known as Thanos when he used something Peter called the Infinity Stones to eliminate half of all life in the universe with a snap of his fingers, then was restored a few years later by the Avengers recovering those stones and using them to bring them back as if no time had passed at all. Unfortunately, while she and Peter were the same age they were before the Mad Titan achieved his goal and was later defeated, five years had passed in that interim time and May's home was being lived in by someone else, both her and Peter having been declared deceased at the time. Happy Hogan had offered to let her and Peter stay at his place, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to take it to that level yet (Peter seemed rather weirded out by the revelation that she and Happy had any kind of relationship in the first place.) Now, however, May was seriously considering staying there at least temporarily. Being the Head of Security at Stark Enterprises (of which Pepper Potts-Stark was now sole owner and CEO since her husband Tony gave his life to end the threat of Thanos once and for all) Happy surely had a number of security measures he could use to "encourage" these glorified paparazzi to disperse. "J. Jonah Jameson is a no-talent hack, and you lot are not much better if you're taking his words as facts," May continued her tirade against those gathered outside, making her outraged voice be heard above the multitude of questions being hurled back at her, "My nephew Peter, who I might remind you idiots is only 16 and not nearly old enough to be this Spider-Man, and his friends were nearly killed by that con artist Mysterio. All those 'threats' he 'heroically' stopped? All illusions that he and his accomplices had conjured up to fool you morons into believing that he was some new hero, and when my nephew and his friends found evidence that Mysterio was nothing but a fraud he tried to have them killed. They would have been killed if it were not for Spider-Man and Agent Nick Fury saving them. And that last video Mysterio had left upon his passing that somehow 'mysteriously' found its way into the hands of that hack Jameson? Obviously one last illusion created by Mysterio's accomplices as revenge for Spider-Man foiling their attempts to get their hands on Tony Stark's technology and on my boy for finding the evidence to make that happen. And do you think that Jameson bothered to authenticate that tape before splashing it all over the airwaves? Hell no, not when that might prevent him from using it to further his agenda against Spider-Man! Now if you buffoons have any other inane questions I suggest you track down Nick Fury and get some answers out of him. In the meantime get your asses off my friend's lawn and leave me and my family alone before I have the NYPD remove you!" And with that May slammed the door in the reporters' faces, drawing the deadbolt and chain for good measure before slumping against it in exasperated exhaustion.

"Geez, Aunt May, I don't think that I ever heard you swear that much before, like ever," Peter said as he got up from the corner she had him sit in, where it was out of sight of the reporters while she had the door opened enough to give them a piece of her mind.

"Oh, believe me, Pete, I was actually holding back there," May told him as she glanced through the door's peephole, "I wanted to say much, much worse, but I figured it wouldn't help your case very much if your Aunt was seen raving at them like a deranged madwoman. Damn it, that pack of jackals hasn't budged one inch. Maybe I should go ahead and call the cops on them."

"Probably would be best if you didn't at the moment," Peter suggested, "The reporters would probably just pull something of a '1st Amendment' on them, and with the mood that going around now I wouldn't be surprised if the cops who respond use your call as an excuse to get a search warrant."

May sighed and looked over towards Peter's room, where she could barely see where the container that held the suit Tony Stark gave to Peter the day Thanos first attacked, when Peter followed him out into space to fight the monster who caused so much misery. This place didn't have much in the way of hidey-holes the way her own home did, which she had put in shortly after she recovered from having accidentally discovered Peter was actually Spider-Man, and she couldn't really do so without coming up with some way to explain it to her without exposing Peter to her too. She supposed that Happy could have come up with something non-intrusive, like camouflaging it as a planter or a computer tower, but they were all just too focused on finding way to help those displaced like she Peter were. Then Peter had left on his trip with his friends, which is where the business with Mysterio went down. Then no sooner after Peter got back did Jameson drop his slanderous and highly fictitious bombshell on the world. "I suppose you're right," May said regretfully, "It's just so frustrating though! How can that man get away with ruining people's lives with such irresponsible journalism? There's gotta be something that we can do!"

"Actually I might have a way out of this mess you found yourselves in," an unfamiliar voice called out, causing May to jump out of her skin as she spun around towards the coat closet in time to see a couple of figures step out of it. She had no idea who the other young man was, but it was easy enough from Peter's descriptions to recognize Nick Fury. "What...why...how did you get in here?" May stammered.

"Fire escape," Nick Fury said as he gestured towards the windows overlooking the street, "Quinjet's cloaked and parked on the roof. Course I understand why you don't lock your windows, as you don't want Peter to be barred from entering after swing around protecting the neighborhood, and it wouldn't do for him to be seen entering through the front door wearing his suit, but all things considered that's still to big a security risk. If you like I can have some of my people sneak in some bio-metric access panels Peter could use to get in. Very unobtrusive, nobody but you guys would even know they're there."

"Uh, yeah. Sure," May answered, dazed, then she shook herself out of it and asked, "But back to what you were saying earlier, about solving Peter's problem. Were you going to go out there and tell those reporters what really happened?"

"I could, if you so chose," Nick answered her, in a tone that she recognized as meaning that wouldn't be his first choice, "They might even believe me. However, while that might clear up the accusations of Mysterio's murder against you I have no doubt that my appearance here, at the residence of an 'ordinary high school student and his guardian', would do anything less than cement in their minds for all time the notion that Peter Parker is Spider-Man."

"Well I don't think that anything less than an Infinity Stone snap could possibly put THAT genie back in the bottle," Peter said gloomily.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Nick countered, and Peter looked as surprised as May felt, "You know back in the beginning, back when Iron Man made his public debut fighting Obadiah Stane in his armor, we tried to help Tony Stark when rumors began circulating that he was the one in the suit. He could likely have spared himself much of what happened to him and those around him, especially to Pepper Potts, if he simply stuck to those cards and the efforts we made to clean up what really happened. Instead his hubris led to him throwing those away and announcing that he was Iron Man."

"Now you strike me as a bright young man with a promising future, Peter," Nick said as he slowly strode around the room with his hands behind his back, once scratching briefly at the scars just barely visible under his eye-patch, "In some ways you might be even smarter than Stark was. You obviously know what kind of effect such an announcement would have on those you know, and you're not deluded enough to believe that you can protect them all by yourself. But you didn't have a say on J. Jonah Jameson releasing that doctored video which exposed you. Fortunately I have a way to counter that and get your life back to normal if you want."

"You're not going to have S.H.I.E.L.D. break in and steal the video or something, are you?" Peter asked.

Nick chuckled as he said, "I actually had something a bit more practical and effective in mind. But for it to work you'll have to do exactly as I say. For starters I'll need your phone." May bristled at the thought of this, but Peter simply took it out and handed it over to him. Nick then handed it over to the agent with him, who took out what looked like a flash drive and plugged it into the phone's port. "What's that?" May asked him.

"It's installing an advanced security program, similar to the one Stark developed for his suits or the ones he made for your nephew," the young agent answered, "This one is designed to seek out and isolate any questionable photos and communications, removes them from their regular folders and stores them under a hidden one that's only accessible through a bio-metric program that uses the phone's own cameras to scan the user's retina. It's also installing a few pictures to take their place and a video you'll be using later today."

"Wow, that's...kinda awesome," Peter said as he took back his phone, then he started flipping through the photo gallery. Indeed, many of the pics he took, a large chunk of which were his web-swinging selfies, were nowhere to be found. Instead there were some selfies of him and his friends (which May had never seen before), some innocuous photos (which could have been taken by anyone), and a video May was certain he did not take. Judging by the timestamp of the video and the still it was frozen on, it looked to be of the events on that bridge in London, namely the battle between Peter as Spider-Man and the drones that were controlled by Mysterio, but the from the angle it appeared to be taken by someone in his class group that was trapped on said bridge. Did one of his friends take the video? One of the teachers? Did Nick Fury have one of his agents take the video from there for such an eventuality? May thought she would have been tempted to check out the video herself if she was him, but he must have sensed that this was not the time as he tucked the phone back in his pocket and asked, "So, what's the plan?"

"I'll explain it to you on the Quinjet, but there's one more thing I need you to do before we go," Nick told Peter, then he pointed towards Peter's room and said, "I need you to lend your suit, the last one Stark made for you, to my associate for a bit."

Peter rubbed the friction burns from his hands having slid down the rain gutter's drain down into the alley below. He could have crawled down the wall or simply jumped, as it wasn't all that tall a building, but Nick had cautioned him against doing anything that would indicate to others that he was Spider-Man and blow this plan before it began. Of course there wasn't anyone in here that would have seen, but Peter felt now more than ever it was better to be safe than sorry. Exiting the alleyway, Peter saw that they were less than a block away from the Daily Bugle building. Peter had read that they used to print newspapers, but with fewer and fewer people subscribing to those or buying them from the stands these days it would only make sense that they would follow the lead of many other news outlets into other venues like going online and producing television broadcasts for sponsoring networks.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Peter made his way through the crowd and crossed the street to enter the Daily Bugle building. Once there Peter felt like every eye in the place was boring into him, making him feel even more awkward about the ridiculous and stuffy outfit Nick had him wear. The glasses were especially bad, as Peter hadn't needed to wear any since the spider bite that changed his life forever, but Mr Stark left these for him and he went through a lot of trouble to get them back from Mysterio after he was tricked into handing them over in the first place, so Peter went along with wearing them. Apparently it worked, however, as the bored looking guard took one look at the forged work badge Peter showed him, which identified him as an intern named Ben Reilly, before waving him through.

A short elevator ride later found himself emerging into the busy newsroom. Peter guessed that this must be for the Bugle's online production as he didn't see anyone who would be involved in the television broadcasts. The HUD that the glasses displayed for him confirmed his hypotheses, so he followed the path it showed him until he found himself in a generously sized office where he saw J. Jonah Jameson himself sitting behind a desk with an unlit cigar clamped between his teeth. "A damn shame the laws busybodies come up with these days. A man should be able to smoke in the privacy of his own office if he wants to," Jameson muttered to himself, then when he noticed Peter standing there he asked, "Yeah, what is it, son?" Peter tried to respond, but at the moment he suddenly felt tongue tied. Mr. Jameson looked irritated at the lack of response as he squinted on Peter's direction (probably trying to read Peter's nametag) and he said, "Well, out with it...uh, Ben. I've got a broadcast in about 40 minutes and I still have to stop by Makeup."

"Actually my name's not Ben, Mr Jameson, sir," Peter said, finally finding his tongue as he gently shut the office door behind him, "It's Peter...Peter Parker."

Jameson's eyes went wide for a moment, then after glancing him up and down (and likely seeing nothing that he thought Peter could threaten him with) his mouth stretched into a sly grin as he said, "Well well, Peter Parker as I live and breathe!" Then after giving Peter another visual appraisal he lost a bit of that smile as he looked askance at Peter and added, "You, uh, look a bit smaller than I imagined."

" 'Too small to be the notorious Spider-Man,' you mean? I'm glad you agree sir, because I'm not," Peter told him, "That video you broadcast was a fake filled with lies, and Mysterio was no hero. He was nothing more than a dangerous con man with no regard for human life, and that video was his last-ditch attempt to get revenge against both Spider-Man, who foiled his attempts to fleece the world, and against me and my friends for having uncovered evidence of his dangerous scheme."

"Just what do you mean, Parker?" Jameson asked, looking more irritated. Honestly, Peter couldn't blame him. From his perspective it must seem that at best that Peter was calling him an irresponsible hack (which was not far from the truth, though he wouldn't have put it as harshly as his aunt,) at worst, that Peter was calling him a lair and a fraud. Peter wanted to settle this peacefully, so he figured he better explain.

"While my friends and I were on a class trip in Europe, it would appear that S.H.I.E.L.D. had recruited Spider-Man to work undercover with an unknown hero named Mysterio to fight some elemental monsters that posed a threat to the world. One of those, a being of fire, attacked an amusement park that some of my friends snuck out to. Luckily they were saved by Spider-Man and Mysterio," Peter told him, "However, after the battle my friend MJ had found a fragment that we figured out later had come from a drone. When she showed it to me later that evening it activated, displaying a realistic hologram on one of the monsters Mysterio had been fighting. That's when we realized that those battles Mysterio had been fighting were nothing more than smoke and mirrors, holograms projected by drones whose armaments did the actual collateral damage the attacks of the 'monsters' was supposedly doing. When Mysterio found out we learned his secret he arranged things so that we'd get killed in another Elemental attack in London, and he would have succeeded if Spider-Man hadn't saved us."

"That's a very compelling story, but..." Jameson started, but Peter interrupted and said, "Wait, I have proof." Peter then put his phone on the desk and slid it over to Jameson as he told him, "There's a couple of videos on here that show the truth of what I've been saying, as well as prove the video you got to be a fake."

"Humph! We'll see about that," Jameson said as he picked up Peter's phone and started to play the videos. Though he couldn't see, Peter could tell from the audio (as well as the indication the HUD of his glasses were telling him) that Jameson first played the video where MJ was showing him the drone wreckage. Thankfully he didn't hear the part where MJ was asking about him being Spider-Man, so he guessed that Nick must have edited that part out. Immediately afterwards Jameson played the video showing Spider-Man flying into the waterspout Elemental, whose illusion shorted out shortly later to reveal the drones hidden within, then how Spider-Man proceeded to destroy those drones. While that first video was indeed one he'd shot (albeit an edited version) the second one was filmed by someone else. However, Peter knew from his own inspection that the other video looked very much like it could have been his own handiwork. Would it pass Jameson's inspection though?

After a moment Jameson put the phone down and steepled his fingers together and said, "I must say I'm impressed, Mr. Parker. You definitely have a good eye, and these videos do indeed seem to support your side of the story."

"I'm glad you think so, Mr. Jameson," Peter said gratefully, "Now my Aunt May thought that we should sue you for libel..."

"Slander," Jameson interrupted.

"Huh?" Peter asked, caught off guard.

"It's actually slander," Jameson clarified, "In print it's libel."

"Of course," Peter agreed, taking the criticism in stride. Part of him actually knew what the correct term was, but he was so invested in this plan that he just went with the one Aunt May came up with without thinking about it. Taking a deep breath Peter continued, "But I thought that, as a journalist, that the facts matter to you as does reporting the truth. I figured that if you saw for yourself just how ridiculous Mysterio's claims that I was Spider-Man were, as well as everything else on his video, that you could reasonably be persuaded to do a retraction."

"Now hold on, not so fast kid," Jameson said as he set his unlit cigar on his desk, slowly walking around the side to face Peter more directly, "It's true that your videos looked authentic enough, but the same can be said for the one I got showing Mysterio's final words. How can I be sure that his was fake and yours were real? Isn't it just as likely that it could be the other way around?"

"Well, that's..." Peter started to say but he trailed off, unsure of that to say. In spite of the preparations they did on the way here, very little focus was given to what should happen if his own videos were questioned. Peter was spared coming up with a response when he heard a sharp sound, and he turned to look in time to see Spider-Man perched on the sill of the just-opened window.

"Spider-Man!?" Jameson yelled in surprise with just a touch of anger, "What the devil do you think...?" Whatever Jameson was going to say was cut off by a blast of web fluid that hit him in the mouth with enough force that he bounced off the wall behind him hard enough to knock a framed certificate off the nail it was mounted on. Without thinking about it, Peter quickly darted over to place himself between Jameson and Spider-Man.

"Sorry to startle ya, kid, but that's really the only way to shut up an obnoxious blowhard like him," Spider-Man apologized to Peter, though he didn't sound too sorry about what he did to Jameson. Then, with a two-finger salute, Spiderman said, "See you around!" before jumping back out the window and swinging off into the distance. A heartbeat later a few people entered the office, with an African-American gentleman about Jameson's age leading them. "Jameson! Are you all right?" the older gentleman asked him before turning his gaze to Peter and asking angrily, "You, Kid! How'd you get in here!?"

"Stand down, Robbie, I'm all right," Jameson called out to him, having managed to rip off enough of the webbing to talk. He then made his way back over to his chair, letting out a small groan as he sat down, and he turned his attention to Peter and said, "Well, Peter, it seems that I owe you and apology after all. I seriously misjudged you, kid. Facing down Spider-Man like that? You've got some seriously hard ones for such a scrawny kid, more so than half the people in this building including the security who I have half a mind to fire! Let me make it up to you: how would you like a freelance position here at the Bugle? I could use a person with your eye and your brass cojones here."

"I don't understand," Peter admitted, felling rather lost and confused as to how they arrived at this point, "You're...offering me a job?"

"Not 'job', freelance! Best thing for a kid your age!" Jameson corrected him, waving around the unlit cigar clutched between his fingers, "You don't have to worry about pesky little things like scheduling conflicts between school and work. You are still going to school aren't you, Parker?"

"Yeah, I'll probably be graduating High school in a couple of years," Peter told him, "After that I was planning to go to college to be a scientist..."

"You see there, it's perfect!" Jameson announced as if Peter made his point for him, "All you gotta do is keep your eyes open and your camera ready for anything newsworthy, especially that Spider-Menace, then send those pictures and photos my way. If I like what you have...BOOM...you get yourself some extra cash for food or rent. What say you, Parker?"

"Uh, Jameson sir, I don't know..." Peter said, feeling like they got rather off track here.

"Oh, don't worry. You're going to get your retraction," Jameson said as he waved away Peter's protests, "A hero like you deserves better than being publicly tarred and feathered. I'm just feeling rather grateful to you, Peter, and J Jonah Jameson always repays his debts. Let's start with those videos you brought me: I'll pay you $75 for them both."

"Seventy five dollars?" Peter said, surprised.

"Eighty five dollars!" Jameson announced, apparently thinking that Peter was protesting the amount of his offer.

"Sir, that's not..." Peter started to say, but Jameson interrupted him by saying, "Fine, one hundred dollars and not a penny more!"

"Wow, that's really generous..." Peter told him, to which Jameson announced , "Great! We've got ourselves a deal!" Peter felt a moment of nervousness as Jameson hooked the phone up to his computer, hoping the system Nick uploaded into it would prevent him from getting at or even seeing the other photos and videos on his phone. after a handful of seconds that seemed to stretch out for eternity Jameson finally unplugged the phone and handed it back to Peter, immediately afterwards removing a flash drive that was plugged in right next to the USB cord Peter's phone was connected to and held it out as he said, "Robbie, take this and drop it off at editing, then escort Mr Parker to Payroll and have them cut him a check. Tonight will be a Special Report: 'Expose of Spider-Man and Mysterio's Rampage in Europe; exclusive video footage courtesy of freelance photojournalist Peter Parker.' It's gonna be big!"

"Of course Jonah," Robbie said as he took the flash drive from Jonah.

"And Peter? When you should decide to go ahead and take me up on that freelance position, just give me a call," Jonah said to Peter as he handed him a business card, "I'll have Robbie make you a badge so you can come in through the front door from here on out rather than sneaking in."

Since he didn't want the guard to get into any more trouble Peter refrained from telling Jameson that he had in fact come in the front door. Of course Peter wasn't sure that he wanted to take a position here, even a freelance position with hours that were beyond flexible. After all it sounded like Jameson was just going to use whatever Peter brought him to further paint Spider-Man as a criminal and a menace to society. However, he also didn't to chance souring Jameson's mood and give him cause to possibly not do the retraction after all by rejecting his offer outright, so he took the card and said, "Thank you, sir. I'll take it under consideration."

"Very good!" Jameson said as he smiled and picked his cigar back up and held the end between his teeth, patting his pockets for a moment before growling and muttering, "Damn 'no smoking' laws!"

Robbie chuckled once and placed a hand on Peter's back as he said, "Right this way, Pete." Peter then let Robbie escort him out of Jameson's office as he heard the man click a button (possibly on an intercom or something similar) and bellow loudly, "Janine, get Makeup on the line! I have a broadcast in about 25 minutes and I need this gunk out of my mustache NOW!"

"This is J Jonah Jameson with a Special Report! You've known me for decades to be a pursuer of truth, clear back in the days when the Daily Bugle was a paper that would arrive on your doorsteps each morning or that you would grab at the newsstand each morning," Jonah said as he sat behind the newsdesk, speaking directly to the camera and, by extension, the viewing audience beyond, "I'm not prone to jumping to conclusions and, as such, it's rare for me to apologize for making a mistake. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you're sitting down because this is one of those rare occasions."

"The other day I showed you a video of the valiant hero Mysterio's last moments, where he was executed by Spider-Man just after he revealed his identity as Peter Parker. However, I regret to tell you that we just learned that this video is a fake," Jameson said with a remorseful look on his face, "Not just the video, but even Mysterio's so-called heroics were just one big scam cooked up by him and his co-conspirators to ingratiate himself to the public and gain access to technologies left behind by the late Tony Stark. We know this because the one who was accused by Mysterio of being Spider-Man chose to confront those charges like a man, bringing forth vital evidence that brought the truth to light."

"As it turns out, Peter Parker and his friends had stumbled upon the evidence of Mysterio's schemes, which involved him fighting against holographic monsters projected from armed and deadly drones, and when Mysterio found out they knew the truth he tried to have them silenced in London," Jameson said over video clips that displayed on-screen, each of which had a caption in the corner which read 'Video footage courtesy of freelance photojournalist Peter Parker.' "According to Mr. Parker, Spider-Man stopped his drones before they could hill him and his friends, and I'm inclined to believe him and the evidence he brought before me because he bravely faced down Spider-Man who assaulted me in my office this afternoon, proving at the least that Mysterio's clams that Parker and Spider-Man are one in the same are certifiably false."

"I can hear the comments now: 'Is this really J Jonah Jameson, or has he been replaced by a Pod person?', but I'm simply trying to set the record straight. Mysterio was nothing more than an extremely dangerous con man, and this video of his is a thinly veiled attempt by his co-conspirators to deflect the blame onto the one young man who might possibly be able to implicate them on their crimes. So, does this mean that Spider-Man is innocent in all this?" Jameson asked as he leaned in towards the camera, then he pounded tthe desk with his fist as yelled, "Hell no! I still maintain what I've been saying all along, that Spider-Man is a menace to society and needs to be reigned in! At best he's a lawless loose cannon who causes more problems than he solves. At worst he was a co-conspirator with Mysterio who eliminated him after falling out for some unknown reason! Just where did Mysterio get the equipment for his little smoke and light show? Probably the same damn place Spider-Man gets his! That's why I get so riled up when someone claims that Spider-Man is a hero! No, Tony Stark was a hero! He never hid behind a mask, telling everyone who he was on day one, and he fought to protect everyone on this planet until his dying breath! Peter Parker is a hero, as he risked his own skin to expose a dangerous criminal! What this world needs now more than ever is more heroes like them and fewer dangerous freaks like the Hulk and costumed criminals like Spider-Ma..."

With a sigh of frustrated resignation Peter swiped the report off the pad's screen, silencing the aggravating sounds of Jameson's rant. Of course Peter had figured that he wasn't going to lay off Spider-Man from the way he was talking in his office, and it probably didn't help matters that he had webbed Jameson's mouth shut. Of course that probably helped convince Jameson that he wasn't Spider-Man, and he did keep his word about doing his retraction on that as well as his changing his tune on Mysterio. Still it felt aggravating to hear him calling Spider-Man a villain, which made it especially confusing to hear the guy call Peter a hero in practically the same sentence.

"Don't let him bother you, Pete," Agent Maria Hill called back to him from the Quinjet's pilot seat, "We know what a hero you really are, as do your teammates in the Avengers. Now that Mysterio's credibility has been called into question and that Jameson has vouched for you and Spider-Man being different people things should start settling down again for you."

"I know," Peter admitted, "It's just...what I mean is..."

"I know, Pete. I know," Maria replied in a sympathetic tone, then as he felt a low vibration under his seat she said, "We're here."

Peter unbuckled himself from the seat and stepped out of the quinjet's door onto the sun-warmed tiles of the apartment building he and his aunt were staying in. No sooner did he straighten back up did he see Spider-Man agilely land on the roof mere feet from him, then he reached behind his head and the mask quickly disappeared to reveal the face of the agent Nick convinced him to lend the suit to. "Hey there, kid!" the agent said as he walked over and gave Peter's hand a comradely shake, panting heavily as he did so. As he watched, Peter say the agent's face distort and change into a more alien visage. Peter thought he some resemblances to Thanos, except this guy's skin was green, he had more ridges in the facial area, and his ears were overlarge and pointed. "I really gotta give you your props, man," the alien agent told him in between pants, "I mean we're pretty strong as compared to regular humans, but that was seriously tough. I probably would have crashed into the side of a couple buildings between here and the Bugle were it not for this amazing suit of yours. I have no idea how you make it look so effortless. You truly are amazing, man!"

"Thanks, uh, Mr Goblin?" Peter guessed, hoping that he wasn't insulting the guy who just helped him out.

"Agent Buuh'tzz is a Skrull," Nick corrected him as he leaned on the inner frame of the quinjet's door and gestured at his eye-patch, "a race of shapeshifting aliens who briefly sought refuge here on Earth years ago before this became a part of my daily wardrobe. Nowdays they help me fortify our interstellar defenses, to make sure that we're not caught off guard by another Thanos in the future."

That kinda sounded pretty good to Peter, as his last experience with an alien invasion was honestly rather frightening, but something Nick had said caught his attention that he asked, "What did you say is name was?"

"Oh, it's Buuh'tzz," the agent said as he shook his hand again, "Agent Laeh'rie Buuh'tzz, and it's an honor to officially meet you, sir."

Peter was barely able to stop himself from snickering as he asked, "Your name is Larry Butz?"

Agent Buuh'tzz looked in confusion between Peter and Nick as he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing. Sorry," Peter apologized as he got himself under control, then he turned towards Nick and asked, "So, what happens now Mr. Fury?"

"Now you get to take a break from the webs for a week, like you had wanted back in Europe," Nick told him, "Go to school, hand out with your friends, go on dates with your girlfriend, heck...go shopping! just make sure that you're seen in public and you leave the heroics to Agent Buuh'tzz here, who will do his best to be seen as well around the same times. I figure that will be long enough to convince even the most die-hard of cynical die-hard conspiracy theorists that you're two different people. Once the week's up up the suit will be returned to you and it'll be up to you if you want to put it back on again."

Peter nodded, accepting Fury's plan. After S.H.I.E.L.D. co-opted his class trip to "convince" him to help Mysterio fight his "monsters", Peter was looking forward to just having some time to just be with his friends, especially MJ. Peter walked back over to the Quinjet and shook Nick's hand as he said gratefully, "Thank you so much for helping me out like this."

"It's I who should thank you," Nick told him, "It's thanks to your bravery in the face if such impossible odds that we're still here. Helping you get your life back is the least we can do."

Peter smiled and nodded, then he turned and walked towards the fire escape, seeing out of the corner of his eye as Agent Buuh'tzz reactivated the suit's mask and swung off the roof.

As Nick watched Peter descend the fire escape, Maria came up behind him and said softly, "You didn't tell him."

Nick turned to look quizzically at Maria as he said, " 'Tell him'?"

"About the temporal anomaly we've been monitoring since after the Blip?" Maria clarified.

Nick sighed as he said, "Kid's got a heavy enough burden trying to keep this brave new world from falling totally apart. No need to add to that by telling him how Tony's snapping Thanos and his group out of existance before he snapped away half of all life in the universe may have caused a Paradox, especially if it turns out to be nothing."

"It could, or it could end up being something that undoes everything that Tony, Natasha, and the others had died to protect," Maria argued, her smooth human complexion shifting and changing to reveal herself as a female Skrull, "It could even result in an even greater threat than Thanos threatening our very existence."

"If it does, then I'm sure that Mr Fury will have us tell him then," 'Nick' told her as he let his human appearance fall away and his Skrull features reassert themselves, "That or he'll tell Peter himself."

"I just hope that it's not too late when he does," Skrull Maria said in a worried tone. "I don't think that we're equipped to deal with an angry space cloud coming to consume the world by ourselves."

Skrull Nick groaned and shook his head as he said, "You've been watching far too many of those old Star Trek tv shows and movies."

"I think it's fascinating how humans back then envisioned coexisting with species outside their world back then, and those shows were much better than the reboots they come up with these days," Skrull Maria reasoned, "And don't give me that look: I know for a fact that you watch them too when you think that I'm not looking."

Skrull Nick shook his head and said, "Come on, it high time we reported back to S.W.O.R.D. Headquarters."

The two Skrull agents pulled their heads back inside the quinjet then and closed the door. Then, as the engines roared to life again, the eagle of the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on top of the quinjet dissolved and was replaced by one showing a sword laid along the diameter of a thin circular band, just before the nose of the Quinjet tilted skyward and it took off and literally vanished into the sky.