A/N: Can you believe there was no sex in chapter 5? I should've put up a content warning for that. I probably traumatized some wholesome, horny people whose dreams were crushed by the realization that only 5/6 chapters contain wank.

Chapter 6: In This Chapter There's Some Sappy Shit and We Appreciate Succulents

Once upon a time, Sakura Haruno would never have thought to answer a knock on her door without at least some mascara and her hair brushed out, perhaps even some light concealer. After a life—and beauty routine—changing experience regarding her long hair in the Forest of Death, she felt prepared to give a little where appearances were concerned.

But at age twenty, Sakura still maintained the belief that she was still a long way from answering the door in a bathrobe, hair crusty from last night's products, and a combination of smudged makeup and mysterious fluids on her face. Turns out, that had nothing to do with biological age and everything to do with the magnitude of fucks one gave as linear time progressed. People tended to feel very strongly about fewer things as children and teenagers, and while the number of fucks increased as adulthood encroached, the magnitude of fucks could only sustain sanity if the magnitude varied.

In other words, the more time passed and your aggregate fucks increased, there were times to give a fuck about looking hot, and there were times your fucks were low and you answered the door… well, in a bathrobe with crusty hair and enigma-face. This was one of those times.

It had been a rough night.

"Hang on, I'm coming, I'm coming. Better be important: it's six fucking AM."

God. If it was Lee asking her to go on another morning run, she'd kill him. She'd kill him until he was paste.

Last night, her plan had been to drink until she stopped being sad. This did not work until several drinks in. As everyone knows, drinking will make a person more said until the apex of the drink/sad parabola, after which point the sadness goes down dramatically until death is achieved. Lucky for Sakura, she'd found a sweet spot after drink six. Maybe. If there were any more drinks after that, she wasn't sure.

There were probably more drinks. In the cruelly pedantic manner of natural science, sleep had once again proved helpful but not magic, and she was definitely still mildly tipsy from the night before.

And wasn't this Sasuke's bathrobe? Where were her clothes?

The knocker continued, every rap a bayonet spearing through her aching skull.

"Calm your ass down, goddammit." She flung the door open dramatically, fist forming at her side in preparation to meet Lee's sweet, innocent face.

Fortuitously, she delayed her punch just long enough to verify her victim's face, or else she would have found her apartment filled with trigger-happy mom sand, with Sakura squashed underneath.

There were a lot of people she would have expected to show up on her doorstep the night after the drunkest, most lascivious, least sensical reception after-party this side of the earth. Gaara, dressed in his formal robes of office without a hair out of place, holding his ridiculous hat in front of him like a shield, hadn't been one of them.

"Good morning. I'm sorry to disturb you."

He had. He had really, really disturbed her this time.

Excuses and shameless flirtation and professions of love tumbled over one another in her mind; on a good day she might have been able to work with one but rallying her sleep-deprived party-brain felt like picking up a bowling ball covered in grease.

"If this is about what I said to Elder Hoki I apologize. I had no right to—"

"You said you loved me. That's what she told me."

The sun rose behind him and blinded her to the subtleties of his face, but even so she could see the way his hands clenched tightly at the brim of his hat.

"She said that?"

"If it isn't true, if you want me to leave, I will. I'll never speak to you again if that's what you want. But please," one of his hands reached out and gently took hers. She felt it tremble in his steady grip. "Please just tell me. Did you tell her—do you love me?"

Imperceptibly, she tensed her arm muscles in preparation to pull away. Too fast. Too sudden. Not enough sobriety.

"She isn't, uh" Sakura stammered out. "Well, she didn't lie to you, exactly."

"Sakura."

A beat. His shaking inhale. Then, she dropped her head. Was there anything else to lose at this point?

"It's true. I do love you. I'm sorry. For everything."

He let out a quiet laugh; the hoarse, unfamiliar sound made her head snap up. His hat fell to the ground, forgotten, and he reached for her face with both hands, cool palms meeting her cheeks.

"How could you be sorry for loving someone?"

She gripped him at the forearms, not pulling him away but clinging to him like a lifeline.

"But you—the Hoki—you're engaged now. You must be. The time is up…"

"No," Gaara said. They began drawing closer together as though magnetized. "I broke that off weeks ago."

"Gaara, you can't! You can't ruin relations with a whole tribe because of me. Think of what your council will do!"

"I've already seen what they can do. They let my father make me. They let my mother die to create a weapon. I won't let them sacrifice anyone else's happiness for ambition."

The tears came, the ones that wouldn't the night before. But these ones felt wonderful even though she knew she'd only be adding to her dehydration.

"You'll get so much pushback for this. There's no way I can be worth all this trouble."

"I'd go through all the trouble in the world to be with someone I love."

Intense, unblinking, sharp. He'd never lost that look from the first time, and a break from those eyes had done nothing to lessen their stilling effect on her. She felt the sure strength of his will emanating from every part of his body, bolstering her resolve through his connection with her skin.

Had it been there, all that time ago? The little seed of something that traveled across dunes and forests and plains to take root underneath them? She hadn't noticed the shoots pushing up through the ground, taking note only of the way they'd disturbed the surface below.

But one thing was certain, she wasn't about to explore this newfound revelation out here in the unfortunately crisp morning air. Not that this wasn't a life-altering moment, but a few early-rising civilians and patrolling shinobi alike had stopped to gawk at the world's best free show happening above the local liquor store.

"Will you come inside?"

"I'd be glad to."

"You didn't return any of my letters."

He'd taken a seat at her kitchen table in the chair she'd started to refer to as 'his.' When she brewed their tea, the same blend she'd started to use every time he came over, he took off his Kazekage robes, hanging them and his beleaguered hat on her coat rack. The smaller gourd of sand he now carried wound up in the shoe tray. He wore plain traveling clothes underneath, nondescript and brown, but exceptionally tidy in ways that reminded her how dearly she needed a shower.

"Yeah…" She winced, grateful her back was turned to him at the stove. "I was hoping you wouldn't mention that. Should I just… get rid of those, now?"

She jumped when she felt his hands on her. At her waist he applied a light pressure in a facsimile of the confident embraces he used to give her when she made tea for them. Sometimes he was naked, and they'd been unable to keep their hands off of one another long enough for her to get a kettle going.

"Is this okay?" Still hesitant. But not for long, perhaps.

"Yes," she breathed.

"I thought it was all over. You left and you didn't answer the letters, and I wondered if something happened to you. I was here and I couldn't find you. Lee wouldn't say anything, but I knew then you were avoiding me."

"I know," she didn't turn, feeling too weak to look him in the face quite yet. She concentrated her gaze on the kettle spout, watching the vibrations from the heating water grow more intense. "I know."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to mess it up." She shrugged against his chest. "I thought you were going to be engaged, and that I was going to mess up the alliance and everything by being with you. By being anywhere near you. I knew I couldn't just be friends after everything that happened between us. I didn't even know who she was, and I already hated her. Having… having the pregnancy scare was a wake-up call. It was real. It was real and I'd—I'd messed everything up."

"I'm so sorry."

"Why? You're not the one who practically snuck out of an entire country in the middle of the night because you were too chicken-ass for a breakup." She lifted the kettle just before the boil and poured steaming water over her strainers, pleased at the way she didn't even tremble. She turned her head over her shoulder but didn't make eye contact with him, hinting, and he returned to the table, accepting his cup from her with both hands.

"I may not have done that, but what I did as a leader, as a… friend, was inexcusable. I compromised my role as Kazekage the moment I allowed the council to continue their exploitation of my personal life for their gain. I may be moved to compromise with them in other areas, but my relationships should never have been on the table in the first place if they never threatened the security of the Sand."

He reached across the table and took her hands in his. Sakura curled her fingers around him, accepting.

"I should never have allowed them to control me," Gaara continued, "and I should never have come to you with an ultimatum. I gave up before I'd even considered standing up for myself, for my position. In my pursuit of stability and respect, I let go of too much of myself. How many other things might they have taken from me in time?"

Sakura took a breath but stopped when she felt a squeeze.

"Wait. I also acted poorly when you told me that you thought you were pregnant. I should have been there for you and I only made you feel worse. That was wrong of me."

She smiled at him, smiling bigger at the familiar way he sat up a little straighter when he saw it.

"Thank you for that. For the rest, the council stuff. I can't really get angry at you, not after seeing that Hoki woman. They've been playing this game for a lot longer than either of us have been alive. At least where I'm concerned, I don't want you beating yourself up over that bit. It's done. And now you're here." She rubbed her thumbs in lazy circles over his metacarpals, feeling the tendons beneath her fingertips relax.

"Now I'm here," he repeated.

Sakura sighed, releasing his hands to cup her tea, still a bit too hot to drink. "Why did we make this so hard on ourselves?"

Gaara shrugged. "Perhaps we both think too much of other people. What they think of us, what they expect us to do."

"Yeah." She took a careful sip. "I guess if there's one thing I regret, it's not letting myself take risks. I thought by telling you I wanted to just stay friends that you'd be more willing to be with me. That if I made myself seem low maintenance, you'd keep coming back."

Sakura sat back in her chair, looking up at him from where she'd been studying the leaves in the bottom of her cup. "But somewhere along the way I realized how damaging that really is. I'm not high maintenance. It's just that I expect people to put no effort in their relationship with me and I mold myself around that expectation thinking 'well, I either make myself small and learn to accept the crumbs of affection I'm lucky to get, or I die alone.' It's like everything is a performance designed to please others and I didn't know where the stage ends.

"I should've said what I wanted from the start. It would've been hard, but it would've been better. Who wants to be with someone who feels like you're too much work? Better to leave those kinds of people behind. But in the end, I just didn't think I would be worth anything to you if I didn't make it 'easy.' I mean, I also still thought I was in love with Sasuke at the time, so that complicated things, but I was willing to give him all the same shitty low standards."

She smiled, more of a quirk to the lips than anything else, and glanced down at the table again.

"It must sound funny to you. When people see me fight and when I'm at work, everyone thinks I'm so aggressive and in charge. But when it comes to most relationships, I'm really not."

Gaara folded his hands together and nodded thoughtfully. "I think I see what you mean. I suppose I did the same with my council. I was so worried that they'd never see me as anything other than a monster that I became completely passive, when I should have been aiming for somewhere in between."

"Well," Sakura held her teacup up and Gaara gave her one of his little smiles as he tapped his cup to hers in a toast, "here's to us not being doormats in the future. And that's enough philosophy for today. I think I might finally be sober now."

Gaara blinked. "I thought—don't you always wake up this early?"

"Gaara." Sakura gestured at herself with a free hand. "Afterparty. What time did you get tucked into bed last night, nine PM? You should go out drinking with me sometime. Just once."

He stared at her pointedly. "No thank you."

"Rude. So… are we, like, in a real relationship now?"

"I think that's up to us."

"Well, if you don't mind…" She reached her hand across the table once more and once more he took it gently in his own. "I want to try."

"I'd like that."

"So, what now? Weren't you leaving?"

"I let my people know I might be staying a bit longer." He finished the rest of his tea and sat the teacup down on the table, tilting his head at her thoughtfully. "That is, if I'm not imposing." He squeezed her hand again.

Oh my god, Sakura thought. That is most definitely a proposition. Was it weird to go straight from an emotionally exhausting conversation straight to sex? He certainly looked serious about it. Last night, she thought she was having one of the worst nights of her life. She'd been drunk and sad and alone, and her best friends were getting married and some evil asshole from Sand decided to verbally harass her for a good time. And this morning, Gaara had catapulted back into her life seemingly out of nowhere, bearing philosophical hot takes on life and love and looking at her like there was nowhere else he'd rather be. And that he wouldn't mind if she got naked and bent over the kitchen table.

But first things first.

"I really, really need a shower before anything else happens. I haven't even brushed my teeth today." She put the cups in her sink, and he followed her into the living room. She put her foot down when it looked like he might sneak into the shower with her and sat him down assertively on the couch, after rearranging some of the succulent pallets so he had room. Her house was full of dozens of them now; some were from him, but she'd quickly gained a reputation as the Cactus Girl around town and so now she found at least one in front of her door or stuffed in her mailbox every week.

"No, I'm nasty. You stay here."

He complied, settling down without another word. Even though she still had no idea where the hell this thing between them would go, Sakura mused, at least she could count on him to be okay with a little bossiness. Part of her suspected he even liked it, the way he liked those rare occasions she got to fuss over any injuries he'd accrued.

She dumped the robe on the ground right outside the bathroom door just to be a tease but closed the door firmly behind just in case he got any ideas. Concealed from his intelligent eyes, she turned the shower on full blast and rubbed her upper arms to hide the way she shivered with anticipation. Underneath the water, she turned her face up to the spray and screwed her eyes shut as she scrubbed hard at her crusty hair, thinking.

It still didn't feel real. Last night she'd been fully prepared never to speak to him again, at least never in any casual way. She'd messed everything up and it was over, and she'd honestly believed everything was her fault. Now, she had a chance at some real happiness. Though the idea of a legitimate relationship still terrified her, she'd come to a place where she was willing to try.

She still didn't quite believe she was worth it—not that small, cruel part of herself that she'd quieted but never really exorcized—but maybe being happy didn't have to mean having perfect self-esteem. Maybe it was more like a journey where you continually had to watch the road to make sure you didn't step off into the weeds.

And maybe the walk was easier when someone walked beside you and you agreed to watch out for one another's weeds.

Feeling sufficiently clean, she shut off the water and toweled dry, patting at her hair with the hand towel. It was now or never.

When she left the bathroom, stepping primly over the pile of Sasuke bathrobe, Gaara still sat exactly where she'd left him, though he'd taken the liberty to pick up one of her more difficult charges, a little barrel cactus that had yellowed a bit. She smiled and walked to him, settling into his lap with a leg on each side. He placed a hand on her waist but kept hold of the little pot.

"Sunburn," he said.

"The cactus? Can they even get sunburnt?"

"They can when they're not used to it. Move it from your window so it gets less afternoon sun and it should perk back up."

She gently took the cactus from his hands and placed it on the coffee table behind her.

"What about me?"

He looked up at her. "What about you?"

"I'm afraid I've been overwatered. Know any good fixes for that?" She started at his waistline, running her hands up slowly to rest on his shoulders.

He reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt until Sakura pushed his hands away and finished the job herself. "I'll have to dig you up and let the roots drain, unfortunately."

"Oh, Gaara." She gripped his outer- and undershirt and pulled both over his head impatiently. "You're supposed to say something suggestive."

He wrinkled his nose up at her. "Then you should have gone for the pollination line. That one's easy. And lots of them are blooming, too."

He was right. A few of her larger acquisitions had begun to open blossoms, confused perhaps by the change in environment from the scrubland to her climate-controlled apartment in Konoha. The heady smell of overripe fruit hung in the air. On days where they really got going, it almost made her lightheaded.

"Well," she said, giving him a kiss on his forehead to show she wasn't really upset, "I'll just have to outsource all my pickup lines to you in the future."

"I wouldn't count on them being any good."

She lifted off him long enough for him to wriggle out of his pants, and then there was nothing between them but skin when she sank back onto him, pulling him close as he pushed in until they met at the hips. Their lips met in a dizzyingly tense kiss, and they clung to one another so tightly it almost felt painful.

Rocking back and forth was easiest in this position, and despite the pleasure she slowed her movement, reluctant to end the moment too soon. He rested his head in the bend of her neck, tongue wicking up beads of steam that had accumulated there from her shower. She thought of the first time they'd crashed headlong into one another, desperate and awkward in a deserted greenhouse, taking out their loneliness and stress on one another's bodies.

They'd come a long way since then. Though, Sakura's propensity for thinking inappropriately silly things during appropriately sexy moments had never gone away. She never had gotten around to making that Unexpected Sex Kit…

At her giggle, Gaara looked up at her, shaking his head at her antics. He'd asked her once like this what she'd been thinking about, but only sent her into uncontrollable titters that had resulted in the sex being put off until later. She thought of telling him purely to be coy, but couldn't bear the thought of stopping now. And in any case, his current remedy for her humor was to shift the angle of his hips to hit her where he knew it drove her wild, and she obliged by tossing her head back and letting out all manner of salacious noises.

Sakura pressed against him with purpose now, meeting the rock of his hips with her own in the perfect timing they'd worked so long on together. When she knew she was close, she pressed his face against her chest and buried her nose in his hair, struggling to get as close as possible. She came, her orgasm long and intense, and she rode it out with his fingers pressing softly against her as Gaara teased her out until she couldn't take any more.

Limply, she tried to continue but her peak had left her boneless and noncompliant. He shifted them so that her spine rested against the back of the couch and he faced her, supporting her thigh with one hand as the position gave him better control. She whimpered when he got up to speed again, whispering encouragement in his ear until his thrusts became uneven and he went over as well, moving inside her until he relaxed completely and all that was left were the tiny pulses at longer and longer intervals. Then, it was only the two of them in a pile of tangled limbs. Familiar and comforting.

He pulled her forward until he could reach an arm around to hold her and stroked her body gently with his other hand as he came down.

"What were you thinking, in the greenhouse where it all started?"

She felt him shift to look at her, but kept her face pressed into his chest, too comfortable to move.

"Nothing. Sex is not a thought-provoking activity."

"Not that." She buried her nose more pressingly into his skin. "After. You kept looking at me in this really forceful way and I always wondered. Sometimes you still do it, when you get really intense."

"Well," he shrugged. "I had walked into a greenhouse to thank this girl for saving my brother's life and then she took all her clothes off and destroyed my innocence. That's quite an intense activity."

"You pick the weirdest times to suddenly develop a sense of humor. Just—out of nowhere, I swear." She nipped his skin light enough that the sand wouldn't rush in but hard enough that he knew he was being disciplined. She'd gotten good at that after a while.

He rolled them over so that he was on his back and bent his knees. Instinctively, Sakura put her hands forward to catch her balance, and recognized the position he'd put them in. They weren't on mulchy ground with lungs full of sodden air, but it was close enough.

He shrugged but smiled gently at her. "I probably wasn't thinking about much then either. There was too much I was thinking about. If you'd asked me then, I don't know what I would have said. Now? It was like…it was like the whole sky opened up and I realized I'd been living underground the whole time."

She blinked and drew back slightly. "Wow. That's—do you think it's like that for everybody the first time they have sex? I guess I was kind of the same, but the opposite. I'd been floating around in the clouds and that was like crashing down into the earth. In a good, reality-acknowledging kind of way."

He shook his head. "Not the sex. That's always the same. It feels good. It's not complicated; it's biological. But being with you… It was the connection we made. The way you weren't afraid to touch me. I'd tried so hard to become someone people respected, someone they looked up to, but until then I hadn't realized that I never put myself into that equation. It was always about other people, and what they wanted or what I thought they needed. That was the first time something happened to me and I said, 'I want that again. I'm going to get it.'"

"And you did. We did. Eventually. After much second-guessing from both of us and a lot of emotional strife that could have probably been solved with a few mature conversations." She settled down on top of him, hoping he didn't have to leave before she could at least get in a nap…

"Yeah." He continued petting her, and she'd just about drifted off when he spoke again.

"Sakura?" There was a tightness in his chest muscles, and when she dragged her head up to peer at him with bleary eyes, she saw a mischievous look in his face.

"What?"

"Thanks."

The sound of her laughter floated up above the smell of the cactus flowers, and when Gaara reached for her again Sakura fell into his arms joyfully, struck with wonder at how he could ever have thought he would not be loved, how she could have ever thought she wouldn't be worth all the trouble.

A/N

Well that's all, folks. If you've been reviewing all this time, thank you! The reviews along the way are what really keep me going. If you haven't left a review yet but stayed for the whole ride, I'd love to know what you thought. Replying to reviews on fanfiction is a weirdly direct affair, so I usually don't unless people ask a question, but know that I read them all and get super excited every time one pops up in my email!

Since writing again made me happy, I think there will be more to come from me. It will take some time, because just as with this project I'm going to finish the entire thing before it gets published. If you are planning on leaving a review, I'd love it if you'd point out something about this that you really liked (besides the presence of sex itself, you horny lovely people). Writing style, characterization, etc. That will really help as I plot out my next adventure.

Thanks again for reading, and always remember to pee after you smash!