Disclaimer: RWBY belong to Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth. GrimGrave owns nothing.

Wither

Chapter 4 – Conversation part 2

Raven hadn't moved out of bed since waking up the next day. She sat at the edge, head hung low and rested against the palm of her hand. Having her brain racing and emotions running amok left her mentally exhausted, and she hadn't slept until well into the night. It was barely beyond daybreak when she had attempted to get up, unable to fall back asleep.

Her stomach growled to her chagrin. She figured she would have to make a larger portion of breakfast to make up for skipping dinner last night, but the idea of leaving the room didn't sit well with her.

Raven didn't want to talk to her. When her stomach growled a bit louder and the sinking feeling intensified she ignored it while her mind raced with annoying thoughts. She was angry at Ruby and the entire situation of her living here, but most of all she was furious at herself for letting emotions and the past slip out of her like that.

It had been a mistake to let Ruby stay. She should've taken her back and accept that there were no money to collect this time around. She hated that the younger girl was prodding about her business, hated how so badly wanted to stay, how Ruby had run away in the first place because of love – because of grief and bitterness.

Just like Raven.

Weary and embittered, she sighed and screwed her eyes shut as she began to mull over her situation when a few gentle, but audible knocks against her door interrupted the train of thought.

"Raven? Are you up?"

She contemplated whether she'd answer or not while leaning towards remaining quiet, but she couldn't keep that up for the whole day. And the door wasn't even—

The door creaked open as the sniper poked her head through apologetically. "I, uhm…I managed to make breakfast. It's not as good as yours, but should be good enough to eat…I can bring you some if you rather not talk to me."

She really was Summer's child. It was equally infuriating and heart-warming.

Raven breathed out, exasperated. Fight or flight. Dump the girl and be rid of her or face the bizarre amalgamation that was her emotions – emotions she had long since buried.

She came to no satisfying conclusion.

"I'll be down in a minute."

The younger woman sombrely closed the door and headed back downstairs. That would buy Raven a bit more time, but she feared it would be to no avail. Instead her mind preyed on her mind with doubt and regret of having taken in Ruby and not used her as a means to acquire Lien or even left her for dead back then.

No, she couldn't have done that. How would she face Summer at the end if she—

She shook her head dismissingly.

"As if I'm going to the same place as her…" she muttered grimly.

She sat there a while longer. Her mind raced and chest tightened. Memories came haunting and Regret reared its ugly head, perched on her shoulder.

As another sigh escaped her throat, Raven got up and squared her shoulders. Dragging her feet, she headed downstairs.

It appeared to Raven that Ruby thankfully wasn't going to pry despite the looks the sniper kept giving her. Breakfast was good enough – just like Summer, she didn't give herself enough credit in certain areas – but awkward when neither opted to talk. It was agonizing to wait out the inevitable.

Still she avoided the topic – avoided to speak to Ruby and settled with focusing entirely on the food: toast, scrambled eggs, and an omelette. Simple, but rich in flavour and went down smoothly. Perhaps she dared to ask for seconds? They wouldn't be leaving the house today. Maybe she could just hold out her plate and the sniper would hopefully get the gist. Or she could make preparations for lunch and dinner to occupy herself for the rest of the day.

Raven kept poking her food as she dwelled on the possibilities. Every now and then she glanced up at the peering silver pools and settled on the food again. Brothers damn it, this was getting uncomfortable.

She swallowed the food in her mouth and cleared her throat. As she looked up, Ruby immediately shot her an expecting look, a bit rosy around her cheeks.

It was kind of cute, but enough distractions.

"I…suppose you want an explanation. To everything."

Ruby's silver eye widened. "Y-Yes! I do, actually!"

Raven sighed yet again. She had done that a lot since last night. Probably wasn't good for her health, what with the sleep deprivation and the stress. Where was she to begin? She was beginning to second-guess herself and Ruby staring at her, waiting, didn't help.

Finally, she began. "Your mother, father, uncle, and I were a team back at Beacon Academy. We didn't get along too well at first; mainly because I couldn't understand your mother and father. To me, they were as if from another world, which isn't entirely untrue."

What…do you mean…?" Ruby carefully asked.

"Your uncle and I were bandits; came from a tribe who lived in the outskirts of Vale settlements, moving around and did all sorts of criminal activity." She paused and watched the younger woman's reaction. "Yeah, I figure my brother didn't tell you. Then you didn't know that the reason he and I enrolled to the academy was to learn how Huntsmen and Huntresses train in order to kill them."

Ruby averted her gaze and merely shifted in her seat.

When she didn't say anything back, Raven opted to continue, "Huntsmen were the only ones capable of stopping our raids and taking us out, so Qrow and I were sent to Beacon as a counterforce. And for the most part, it worked." Her brow furrowed as she glanced out the window. It was raining again. "But eventually it wasn't enough. Our tribe was targeted more than ever and my brother had grown used to the way of life of ordinary folk. I wasn't so easily swayed. Little by little, however, our tribe was killed off. Only the strongest survived, but…There's little left to do. I took up bounty-hunting; I am a licensed Huntress after all, so that takes the authorities off my back."

"That doesn't quite answer my questions," Ruby said. She was staring rather fiercely back. "How does that explain leaving Yang and your team behind?"

"I told you, we were sent to Beacon to learn how to kill Huntsmen. Only I returned to my tribe after that—"

"So what about Yang and my dad?"

Raven sighed. She so needed a smoke after this. Or now. Preferably now.

"I…wasn't that different from your uncle at the beginning. You know what the academy-life is; you lived it. Romance is bound to happen, whether you like it or not. Except…it wasn't just your dad. Or to be specific; he wasn't my first love."

She took a deep breath and attempted to ignore the flood of memories that came rushing back, good and bad.

"It was your mother: Summer."

The sniper's eye widened. Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. She took a moment and breathed.

"My…mother?" She eventually asked in disbelief.

Raven nodded, still peering out at the rain. "Summer was…an extraordinary woman. I couldn't stand her annoying, bubbly demeanour, but you know how it's like when you're spending four years with someone. You're bound to get close."

"Did…You and mom…?"

"No. I didn't know what to do with the emotions I was starting to have for her nor did I know what to do around her. I lashed out more often than not, but she never let it get to her. This continued for the rest of our time at the academy. I never managed to confront to her about it – never managed to even let a slip of my true feelings for her be known. I was…heartbroken, to say the least. I was angry and resigned myself to let her go. And then your father came along. He was there to pick up the pieces and I was vulnerable. I loved him, not as much as I love Summer, but he was a good man. At least I thought I loved him, but in the end it dawned on me that he was a replacement. Even when your mother died my feelings didn't, and have been…very much alive to this day. Summer always saw the best in people…even someone like me. I kind of…liked it about her. I liked that she always put her team before herself and the way she motivated us to always do our best. Summer was a born leader through and through and I had to admire her dedication, even if she could be a bit of a klutz on occasion. And her cookies…I'll never forget those. She could be annoying, but her smile was contagious and she could even get me all rallied up. Summer was my anchor without either of us ever realizing it. I loved that about her. I loved everything about her. By the time I accepted those feelings she had already passed away."

Ruby was gawking at her, stunned into silence. Her fork clattered against her plate and onto the floor.

"Growing up as a bandit, we were taught that the strong live and the weak die. That strength is everything. Our parents were strict with your uncle and me, throwing us into the woods to fend for ourselves for weeks. If we came back then we passed the test. It meant that we knew how to defend ourselves, take care of ourselves, and most importantly; survive. Every day we're in survival-mode." She paused for a spell. "I stayed with your father for a while before I came to the realization that I didn't truly love him. I was under stress from the whole situation; I was using a replacement for the woman I loved, I was being roped into a life that wasn't me after graduation, and I had gotten pregnant. I panicked."

"Raven…"

Thunder was rolling in the distance.

"I couldn't handle it. Not long after Yang was born – she couldn't have been more than two – I left my life as a Huntress, Tai, and Yang behind and re-joined my tribe. Your uncle wouldn't, of course. Truth is I didn't want to leave Yang behind, but just as my parents had left me at young age to fend for myself, so did I with her. Sure, she had her father, but I figured she would come searching for me, join the tribe. I thought that separating myself from Yang would mean she would learn how to survive on her own… at least I like to think that's what I had achieved, but instead it caused a rift I don't think we can mend; I realized over time that we couldn't go back to be a normal family; the kind that shows affection and cares for one another. Did I learn from this? I want to think I did." Her voice was beginning to betray her. Raven could see her face becoming paler in the window.

This had been a mistake.

Her hand was trembling.

"But I haven't. Not in the slightest."

Thunder flashed and the crashing roar was quick to follow. The raindrops pelted against the glass.

"I left my team to return to my tribe – my family – so I could live my independent life. I didn't act on my feelings for your mother and then she and Tai ended up getting married; I suppose she was there to pick up the pieces. Maybe she had always loved him and was glad that I was gone. They had a child – you – and she raised Yang as her own. And everything fell apart."

This was getting out of hand! She wanted to stop, needed to stop, but the words left her mouth the more memories came back like a rapid torrent.

Her heart was beating wildly beneath her breast.

"She left and never came back. Missing in action. Presumed dead. Likely so." Were her eyes stinging? "I lost the one person I truly loved. I lost my brother because I didn't want to abandon my family and instead abandoned the one person who accepted me for who I was and my only child who only searches for me for answers; being a family has never crossed her mind. I know this just as I know that all of this happened because of my own stubborn pride and cowardice! I've learned NOTHING!"

Raven slammed her fist into the table. Her voice cracked as she stifled the wordless sound of anger as she glared at her reflection. Suddenly she was her nineteen-year-old self again and everything came flooding back to her.

This had been a mistake; taking in Ruby, opening up, it had all been a huge mistake.

Too late.

Then Ruby saw it; during her time with Raven, Ruby had never seen the emotions that blurred the older woman's eyes as it did now. Vulnerability.

Remorse.

Regret.

"I suppose that…if I took care of you, I could repay her for everything she did for me. Make sure her legacy doesn't die. Along the way, my…emotions have confused me."

Her knuckles turned white from the clenched strain.

"And there you have it; the laughable tale of a woman whose stubbornness and pride cost her her true love, the second chance for happiness, and whose major reason for taking you in being because you're the spitting image of the woman she loves, hoping in vain that something might come from it, despite having abandoned her only child and the people who had accepted her. An absolute mess and the worst kind of trash there ever were. Lucky you."

She was crying, for what felt like the first time in her life. She had no recollection of having cried before – to bare such sentimental emotions and thus showing weakness at any point in her life up till now…except when Summer had passed away.

The memory of wailing and cursing the world around her came back like a bolt of lightning that cracked over the sky just now.

Her cry was soft and stifled, but the tears ran down her cheeks clear as silver starlight. Her whole body was trembling against her will and she hated it!

She wasn't weak!

"God damn it…! I thought I was better than this... I'm stronger than this!"

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor was followed by the soft taps of footsteps when slim arms pulled Raven into a hug as the sniper squished against her back.

The contact was…oddly comforting. Not unwelcome either.

"Having and showing emotions like this is not a weakness in my book," Ruby told her. "If anything, it makes us stronger. At least that's what I believe. It must've taken a lot of strength to tell me all of this just now."

Raven shivered and screwed her eyes tightly shut. "…Stop talking like your mother."

"I wouldn't know how she talked or behaved. I wouldn't know the sound of her voice. I was just a baby when she went missing. I know next to nothing about my mother. So…thank you for telling me. I understand that it wasn't easy."

Raven didn't say anything back.

Ruby squeezed her and buried her face in the black-as-night tresses. She smelled good, like wildflowers and something pleasantly earthy.

"The fact that you show remorse after so many years says a lot about you, Raven, and I mean that in the best way possible. I like to believe to this is what my mother saw in you; your strength, conviction, and compassion."

"`Compassion´…? What the hell are you talking about? I don't—!"

"You clearly care about your family; uncle Qrow, my dad, and Yang. You chose your tribe over your team and new family, but you still care about them. And I know Yang is still looking for you; the whole reasons she wanted to become a Huntress wasn't just for thrills, it was so she could protect herself as she journey all over Remnant to look for you. I've heard uncle Qrow and dad talk about you a lot, too. They miss you."

She hugged the older woman tighter.

"I sure mom missed you too."

Raven's frame went rigid.

"She must've been devastated when you left. I know I feel horrible thinking about how I ran away from my team…I can't imagine mom would've felt any different."

The brunette scoffed pathetically. "So what? Is this what we're doing now? Sitting here licking each other's wounds?"

"It's a start, I guess," Ruby replied. "It's only natural that you support the people you love."

"Hmph. You love me? A little kindness and you're all love-struck. You would've reacted the same way had it been anyone else. I wouldn't know what Love's like. Not entirely."

"Maybe you're right – maybe I would've latched on to whoever rescued me that night, making them my knight in shining armour to keep me away from people like Weiss. But my mom supported you, so I should, too. She saw the best in everyone, right? So I can't question you, not anymore. Who knows; maybe she had trouble being more honest, like you, and dad was there to pick up the pieces again."

The heavy rain grew worse as lightning flashed across the murky sky.

For but the briefest of moments Raven mulled over the possibility of Summer perhaps having had the same difficulties she had. They had always been the closest by comparison, almost on par with how she and her brother had been at the start of their academy days.

"…I suppose we will never know."

"I guess you're right. Besides, I'm an emotionally damaged girl who ran away from the academy and home for almost three years now because my partner cheated on me, which most people would probably call an exaggeration, and has probably developed a complex for the one person who took me in and showed me an ounce of kindness. So we're both a mess. I'd say we go well together."

Raven had to chuckle, albeit forced, to that. "I guess this whole conversation came down to us confessing in our own, weird ways."

"In a way."

She turned around and forced the sniper to meet her eyes. Ruby looked…beautiful right now despite the mild sombreness hiding beneath that smile of hers. "…Please don't think you're replacing her. You are indeed strikingly similar, but you are also so different. You are your own, Ruby."

The younger woman's smile brightened ever so slightly. "I wasn't worried, but I'm glad to hear it all the same."

They shared a moment simply looking at each other. Their gazes trailed off every now and then, but just as quickly did they find each other again.

"I'll never understand why you'd be into me, beyond the fact that I rescued you. But I suppose I'll accept this, even though I don't deserve it."

Ruby cocked her head to the side, puzzled. "And what's `this´?"

"Happiness."

"You definitely deserve it, Raven. Everyone has made poor life choices," she replied. A resentful, horrible memory came to mind regarding a certain someone. "…Not everyone feels remorse or tries to do something about it."

"I…" Raven didn't know what to say. "I…"

"You are at worst complicated, but not a lost cause. I can definitely see what my mom saw in you, and I like what I see." Ruby inched closer, still embracing the older Huntress. "I like it a lot – I like a lot about you, Raven."

She absentmindedly ran a hand up the sniper's back, lost in the shine of her one silver eye, the blush over her cheeks…

The storm outside was stronger than ever.

"…Would you like to just watch T.V or something?" The sniper awkwardly proposed.

"…Sure."

Ruby straightened and turned, but didn't leave; she peeked over her shoulder, expectant, and her hand jutted out from below her hip.

Raven managed a small smile and got up. She glanced down at the redhead's hand with reluctance before her own clasped over it.

The contact sent a warm, fuzzy rippled through their bodies.

"Oh and…thanks for the breakfast. It was good."

"N-No problem at all…"

The couch wasn't comfy and nothing good was on, but neither seemed to care.