Saudade
sau·da·de
/souˈdädə/
Noun
: Of Portuguese origin. Loosely translates to "the love that remains" after someone or something is gone. A feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia.
A/N: This special request is for my amazing friend lucielhyung! It was an honor to do this for you and thank you so much for asking me! I love you, Kari and I hope you like it!
Lucy suddenly found herself standing in front of her childhood home again.
The small quaint one that she grew up in. Before her family grew apart and drifted. When each day in that home still felt bright and warm. Days filled with laughter and love.
A fond warmth spread through her chest as she walked through the small gate, following the stepping stones through the flowing garden. Recalling the warm summer mornings she spent tending to it with her mom. How she would teach Lucy the names of all the different flowers and vegetables they were growing, her smile always soft and patient.
Lucy stepped onto the porch, gripping the handle of the door and pushing it open slowly.
The comforting smell of home washed over her, but her breath hitched in her throat when she saw the couple on the couch who looked up at her.
Her parents were sitting right there in front of her, just as she remembered them.
Her mother, Layla, was there. Golden strands falling loosely over her shoulders, dressed in her favorite cozy oversized sweater that Lucy remembered often cuddling into. Her father, Jude, eyes warm behind his glasses and light brown hair still neat as ever, sitting beside her.
"Welcome home, Lucy," her mom greeted with a soft smile that crinkled the skin around her bright chocolate eyes.
"Mom…"
"Well, come on over and sit with us," Jude said, waving Lucy over, "you must be tired from work." Scooting to make some room between them.
Lucy still couldn't find her voice but her legs automatically carried her over to the couch and settled in between them, Jude putting his arm behind her on the back of the couch.
Her chest tightened, a prickling in the back of her eyes as she felt the warmth they radiated. It felt so right being here like this, with them.
"How was your day, dear?" Layla asked gently, chatter from the television in the background.
"It- I, uh, it was good…"
Lucy eventually got the words out, swallowing past the lump in her throat. She slowly started to relax at her mom's warm smile, and fondness in her eyes, going into more about her day and hectic work at the office.
In the back of her mind, she knew she must be dreaming, but everything felt so familiar and comfortable. As if it was just another day at home with them. Like it should have been.
"Well, just waiting on dinner to finish up in the oven," Layla started, "lasagna, one of your favorites," she smiled, patting Lucy's leg.
Lucy's stomach grumbled at her words. Breathing deeply and catching the savory scent coming from the kitchen. A simple dish, but she's always remembered it and her mom made one of the best she's ever had. She's never been able to get it just right when she's tried.
"Oh, Lucy, I just remembered, I found this at the shop the other day." Jude stood from the couch, Lucy turning her head, gaze following him to the back of the living room where a large overstuffed bookshelf stood.
Filled with books large and small, history to fiction, that they would find at their weekly family trips to the small local bookshop. Where Lucy would happily spend hours thumbing through any pages that caught her young ambitious eyes.
Her heart warmed when she saw the plush deep red armchair beside it where Lucy would often sit curled onto her father's lap as he read to her well into the night until his voice was rough and Lucy dozed off.
Jude returned and placed a thick hardcover book in her hands. It was a rare edition of a collection of fairy tales she had always loved.
"Dad…" The tingling behind her eyes increased again as her fingers traced faintly over the letters on the cover.
"I know, I was going to save it for your birthday, but I couldn't help myself," Jude chuckled.
"Thank you... both of you," Lucy whispered, her voice growing thick.
"What for, sweetie?" Layla asked softly.
"Just, for everything. I love you both so much."
Layla's expression softened, pressing a kiss to Lucy's temple.
"We love you too, Lucy. Very much so," she gave Lucy's hand a squeeze, "everything is going to be okay." Layla smiled warmly as Jude rubbed her shoulder, his eyes fond.
Then before she could reply, everything shifted and she was waking up.
Her eyes adjusting to the darkness in the room. Breathing deeply, the scent of cinnamon and pine coming to her. That's right, she had stayed over Natsu's last night.
So it really was just a dream after all, it always was. They still weren't here.
But, she felt them right there next to her. Smelled the comforting scent of her home, saw their warm smiles...
Her chest grew tight, amber eyes quickly glossing over with tears, bunching the comforter tightly in her fist. Trying to muffle the sobs that were coming quickly into her pillow. Desperate to cling onto the memory of her dream so it wouldn't slip away. For just one more moment with them.
Natsu slowly felt himself waking up, then picked up soft sobs beside him and he was instantly awake.
He propped himself up on an elbow, hovering over Lucy who was trying to hold in her cries, face muffled into the pillow.
"Luce? What's wrong?"
Lucy dug her face further in the pillow with another rough sob.
"Luce..." Natsu placed his hand on her shoulder gently. His chest aching at the thought of her hurting.
"You're okay, Natsu consoled softly, rubbing his arm up and down her back. Trying to calm and soothe the sobs raking through her body.
Lucy started to ease up after several moments, Natsu continuing his movements. She slowly turned her head from the pillow, her glistening amber eyes finding Natsu's soft concerned emerald ones.
Another sob broke from her, her hand coming up to grip Natsu's shirt tightly.
"Oh, Luce, come here."
Natsu settled back down, arms coming around Lucy and pulling her to him and tucking her head on his chest and placing a kiss to her temple.
Lucy's hands still clung onto his shirt tightly. Her tears soaking into the material.
He continued the soothing motions on her back, holding her close with soft words of comfort.
Lucy's sobs slowly started to calm, feeling her deep shuddering breaths on his neck as she relaxed into him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she murmured softly.
"Hey, don't worry about that, I just never want you to be hurting on your own. Please talk to me, love." Natsu breathed into her hair.
Lucy took another deep breath, her arm squeezing around his waist. Taking a moment to collect herself.
"I-I dreamt I was with my-", she paused, swallowing past the lump in her throat, "my parents again."
Natsu made a sad sound, hugging her to him and threading a hand through her hair.
"In the house I grew up in. M-my mom was there, she was right there, Natsu, healthy as ever just as I remembered her, Dad too. It was just how I wished we still could have been, before everything changed," Lucy spoke softly, voice trembling slightly, but Natsu's hold was tight around her, warm and safe.
"It all felt so real and I- part of me knew it was a dream, but I really hoped it wasn't."
"I'm so sorry, Luce. I know how much you miss them," Natsu whispered, his heart aching at the sadness in her voice.
"I'm glad I was able to patch things up with my dad in the end, but I-I just miss them so much, the way we used to be, happy together. I just wish I could have stayed in that moment with them for a little longer…" Lucy tucked herself further under his chin, a few more tears landing on his warm skin.
"It's ok to miss them, love. That ache never really goes away, but they're still always with you, Luce. In the way you remember them, the way you live your life to the best you can." Natsu smoothed his hand down her back before hugging her to him again.
"And I'm always right here for you to lean on when you are missing them. I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.
Lucy pulled back slightly, breathing out another shuddering breath, "I love you so much, Natsu." Her amber eyes glossy as she gazed into his emerald depths. "You're so good to me, I don't deserve it."
"Hey, don't say that," Natsu said softly, brushing back some of the loose messy blonde strands, thumb brushing away the lingering tears from her cheeks, "you deserve the world and I love you more," he finished, placing a kiss to her forehead.
"I don't think that's possible," Lucy grinned.
"Oh yeah? Do I have to prove it to you?" Natsu teased, the ache in his chest loosening at her small smile.
"I think you just might have to."
Natsu gave her a wide toothy grin before flipping her to her back and attacking her face with kisses. His slight stubble scratching her skin.
"Ah Natsu!" Lucy squealed in between her bright infectious giggles and weak attempts to push on his chest.
Natsu pulled back up chuckling and let her catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed, some lingering sadness in her eyes, but they were bright and she was wearing an even brighter smile. She was just so beautiful, and will forever have his heart.
"I think I may need to do one more to prove it to you," Natsu quipped.
"Mm, if you insist." Giving him another glowing smile.
Natsu closed the distance and gave her a deep lingering kiss.
Lucy sighed a soft sound into him, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck and bring him closer.
They pulled away after several moments, Natsu's expression softening when their gazes met, Lucy reaching up to caress his warm cheek.
"Thank you for always being here for me, Natsu. It means so much to me and I'm so grateful to have you in my life," Lucy said softly.
Natsu turned into her touch, placing a kiss into her palm. "Of course, you know I would do anything for you, Luce. You have my heart always."
"I would do the same for you, and I'm forever yours too, Natsu. She whispered against his lips before capturing them another deep kiss.