Chapter 1: A Memory That Changed My Life

My memory is not the best. I can't remember things too far back, just a few vague details of things. Like taking glimpses at a photobook. Just a blur of scenes that feel familiar but an accurate time or place when the events occurred were unknown. There was one memory, however, that stuck with me. A memory of when I was a little boy, not even a preteen. I think I was close, though, maybe a year away. I was sitting out in the cold, it was winter if I believe correctly. I could almost feel the cool breeze brushes against my pale skin. I don't think I left my house often, my skin was almost sickly pale due to the lack of sunlight. I don't think I was allowed to leave very often. No, I know I didn't. Fridays, Fridays, Fridays. I was only allowed out on Fridays. Mother was a paranoid woman.

I remember sitting on a swing, a plank of wood held up by chains attached to an old tree. I don't remember what type of tree. Even if I did, I don't think I would be able to tell what type it was anyways. I don't spend my nights learning the types of different trees out there in the world. There was a little girl around my age, she was staring curiously at me from behind the metal chain-link fence that surrounded the house. It was to keep unwanted people out, mother said, and me in.

"Why are you alone?" She has asked, a soft voice almost a whisper. She looked soft, too. Like a doll. Porcelain skin, big brown eyes and brown hair that fell like silk down her back.

"Why are you alone?" I remember responding, A voice lacking any life or emotions. She looked like a doll and I felt like one. Dull. I felt dull.

"I lost Kaname-sama. Then I found you." She smiled at me, like finding me made but for losing her companion.

I didn't know what to say for a second. I don't recall a time where I have met someone besides mother. I had stared at her for a moment, a loss for words. I rose up from my seat on the swing and slowly made my way towards her. I had stopped in front of her, the chain link fence the only barrier between us.

"You're pretty." She spoke again when I didn't respond.

I had tilted my head slightly, because pretty? I don't think that was a word in my vocabulary. Looking back at it, I flustered. She had thought me, a boy, was pretty.

"What does pretty mean?" I had questioned.

She never got to answer. A boy had showed up, not much older than her. He looked a lot like her too. Brown hair, brown eyes, porcelain skin. Like a doll. I remember my heart skipping a beat when I first saw him. He looked intimidating. I didn't know why at the time but I do now, at the age of sixteen. I knew why he intimidated me. Still, slightly, does. Because, unlike how she described me, pretty could not begin to describe him. He was beautiful. Unworldly so. Supernaturally beautiful. I had taken a few steps back upon looking at him, like a wild animal ready to flee.

"Yuki," He had addressed her, completely disregarding my existence, "What have I told you about wandering off?"

"Not too?"

"And yet here we are now."

I had started to step back slowly.

"But I made a new friend!"

I stopped in my retreat. Friend?

He, Kaname, had turned towards me, finally acknowledging me. He looked at me, head to toe, taking in sickly pale skin, pale blonde hair, pale grey eyes and simple clothes consisting of a white long sleeve shirt, white pants, and white slippers. I was not dressed for the cold. Unlike him and Yuki, bundled up tight and snuggly. I wish I knew what he thought of me then, a child that looked as dead and transparent as a ghost. I might as well been a ghost. Not many people knew I existed. Not many still do.

"Hello," He spoke softly towards me and all of a sudden, he didn't seem so intimidating anymore. Cautiously, I had taken a few steps forward, I peered up at him through my bangs, my hair was straight like Yukis' but not nearly as neat.

"Hello," I responded back, flinching at how loud my voice seemed to sound in the silence of the world filled with white snow. No one else lived in my area. Mother wasn't fond of the idea of neighbors. Mother didn't want people to know of me. MOther couldn't know they were here.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" He had asked me a question matching his...sister? At the time, I had thought them to be related. Now I knew that was not true, for the feelings that Yuki held towards him now would not be acceptable otherwise. I am sure he feels the same for her too. I would be lying if I were not distressed by that information.

"I'm only allowed out on Fridays." I recall the furrow of his eyebrows, the look mimicked by Yuki.

"Why?" Yuki had asked me, so sweet and innocent was the question, confusion tained with concern.

"Mother fears someone may see me," I took a step back from them, "Like you have,"

"SINCERE! IT'S TIME TO COME INSIDE!" The shrieking of my mother from inside the house had startled me then and still, looking back on it, startle me now. I could hear it now, loud and clear as a sunny day.

I had immediately turned to run inside before turning back around to two strangers, "I must leave now," I had vaguely apologized, "It was kind of you to stop and say Hi."

"Can we come back and see you again next Friday?" Yuki asked me and I was very skeptical if I should agree or not. On one hand, I get to be around someone my age, on the other hand, mother would not be very happy if she found out. Another shout of my name had jolted me and in a rush, I had agreed before running back inside. One encountered would change my life. At the age of sixteen, two policemen knocked on my door after Yuki and Kaname had seen a bruise my mother had mistakenly left on my cheek after smacking me with her Bible the day before.