South Park Elementary Gymnasium- Day. The gym has been arranged to look like a courtroom; Principal Victoria is seated in the judge's chair and Mr. Mackey is sitting on her right. Stan is standing in the defendants' zone and looking solemn.

Principal Victoria: Fellow Students, we're here today because Stan Marsh pulled a prank at the St Patrick's Day celebration and caused thousands of dollars in damages to the school; and we worked really hard for the event.

As she speaks, it pans over the Jury of students. The Jury consists of: Kyle, Wendy, Cartman, Kenny, Bebe, Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Token, Red, Heidi and Nichole. Cartman is looking uninterested; Kyle and Wendy are both shocked at what Stan did, and the others are just listening intently.

Principal Victoria: This is a closed case, so therefore, Stan Marsh is-

Before she can deliver the verdict, Wendy interrupts.

Wendy: Principal Victoria, I don't believe Stan would do such a thing; I think he was framed. And, before we jump to any conclusions, can we analyse everything that happened the day someone flooded the area. That way, we'll find the real culprit.

Principal Victoria: Very well, Wendy. All you jurors, follow me.

The jurors follow Wendy and Principal Victoria to the teachers' conference room. Each of them takes a seat.

Principal Victoria: Now everyone. Your job is to separate the fact from the fancy. If 'Not Guilty', then Stan is cleared of all charges. If 'Guilty', he gets 4 months detention. Also, the vote has to be unanimous.

She closes the door.

Kyle: Well, I think Stan is innocent and there's substantial evidence to prove it.

Wendy: As do I.

Craig: Stan is obviously guilty; all the evidence points to him. There's nothing more to say.

Wendy: Yes there is.

Cartman: He's guilty; he spoiled the food!

Kenny: (I spent my last money on the parade's fundraiser and he went ahead and ruined it all!)

Bebe: He messed up my makeup and hair.

Clyde: And you're only saying 'Not Guilty' because you're his super best friend and you're his girlfriend.

Kyle: Well, yeah, a bit. But that's not the point. We know Stan better than all of you, minus Cartman and Kenny.

Wendy: So, Kyle and I vote 'Not Guilty', what do you all say?

Cartman: Guilty.

Kenny: (Guilty).

Bebe: Guilty.

Heidi: Guilty.

Nichole: Guilty.

Craig: Guilty.

Tweek: Guilty.

Clyde: Guilty.

Token: Guilty.

Red: Guilty.

Wendy: Okay, that's two 'Not Guilty', ten 'Guilty'. Now, before we jump to conclusions, let's remember what happened on the day. I remember Stan and I met up when he first arrived, then we went around to the food stalls. Oh, it was so romantic with me and him.

Kyle: Also, Stan and I went to the lucky dip. Then he had to go to the bathroom. And he came out of the bathroom, just seconds after the beer flood occurred.

Clyde: Yeah, and he was whistling innocently, just so he doesn't look guilty.

Kenny: (I know Stan like a brother. The flood was outside the building, and he was in the bathroom. So he can't be in two places at once; it's impossible. Also, whenever he leaves a bathroom, he always whistles. I'm changing my vote!)

The jurors gasp at this sudden decision.

Cartman: Well Kinny, you just made yourself an enemy for life.

Kyle: Cartman!

Cartman: Sorry.

Wendy: Well, I'm starting to suspect that you're the one who framed Stan.

Everyone glares at Cartman.

Cartman: What are you staring at me for? It wasn't me, I swear. As God is my witness, I say I didn't do it. I'm changing my vote; I just want this to end as soon as possible, so I don't miss an episode of 'Archer'.

Kyle tallies up the votes.

Kyle: Okay, that's 4 votes 'Not Guilty', and 8 votes 'Guilty'.

Craig: If anyone else votes 'Not Guilty', I'm gonna kick your asses.

Bebe: There'll be no ass-kicking in here. Especially not Kyle's cute ass. Uh, I just want it on my face.

Red: Bebe, we're here to decide Stan's fate, not fantasise about Kyle's butt.

Bebe: Sorry I got carried away. I'm changing my vote, just because I don't wanna feel like a traitor to my best friend and my best friends' boyfriends' best friend.

Kyle: 5 'Not Guilty', 7 'Guilty'. (He looks at Cartman) Cartman, did you change your vote just to play innocent?

Cartman: Uh-

Craig: Yeah, Cartman's guilty, and so is Stan! Cartman's only covering for Stan to take the fall.

Heidi: I'm with Craig on this one!

Tweek: Argh, too much pressure! I'm siding with Craig! Cartman's covering for Stan!

The 'Guilty' people rise to their feet.

Kyle: Everyone Shut the Fuck Up!

They sit down again.

Kyle: Now, does anyone know what else Stan was doing that day?

Nichole: Well, I remember on the day, Token and I were getting lucky charms and Stan was at the stall next to us.

Kyle: And?

Nichole: That's all I remember about Stan on the day.

Craig: Well that wasn't very helpful.

Nichole: Yes it was. I also saw two kids next to a giant beer keg.

Token: Yeah, I think they were planning to pull a prank. So, therefore, Nichole and I are changing our votes.

Kyle: Okay, 7 'Not Guilty', 5 'Guilty'.

Clyde: Well, I saw Stan near the Giant Beer Keg, just before the flood. He was with his dad, I think.

Flashback to the day of the St Patrick's Day celebration.

Stan: Dad, haven't you had a bit too much?

Randy (Drunken): Oh, Stan, I love you. C'mon, find me a chick to fuck.

Stan: It's time you laid off the booze for a while.

Stan escorts his father back to the car; he runs into Sharon.

Sharon: I'll take him Stan.

She starts escorting him; he vomits.

Stan: I need to shit.

He runs to the bathroom.

Flashback Ends

Clyde: Yeah, his dad was drunk out of his mind. 'Not Guilty'.

Heidi: Since I'm not someone who jumps to conclusions, 'Not Guilty'.

Tweek: Argh! Not Guilty!

Kyle: Craig, aren't you going to change? Remember, the vote is unanimous.

Craig: Stan's Guilty! But for another reason; he never paid me back for that mess in Peru! (He breaks down into tears) Not Guilty! Not Guilty!

Kyle: Okay, Stan's 'Not Guilty'.

Principal Victoria opens the door.

Principal Victoria: Are you done yet?

Wendy: Yes, Principal Victoria. We've all voted.

Principal Victoria: C'mon, we'll deliver the verdict.

The jury re-enter the gymnasium, and take their seats in the Jurors' booth.

Principal Victoria: Well, I'm now ready to deliver my verdict. I find the defendant, Stan Marsh... (She opens the note she received from Wendy), Not Guilty!

Stan: Yes!

Wendy runs up to Stan and hugs him.

Principal Victoria: We're not finished yet; we have a guilty conscious in this very room. And in the audience. Who pulled the destructive prank and got Stan framed?!

No-one in the audience speaks up. Her eyes focus in on two students tapping their fingers in worry.

Bill: Well, ah, I've gotta go... to my grandmother's funeral.

Fosse: Yeah. Me too.

Principal Victoria: You don't have grandmothers.

Bill and Fosse run out the door.

Principal Victoria (To the jurors and Stan): Stop Them!

The 13 run after them. A chase occurs in the hallways, with Bill and Fosse trying desperately to evade capture. Eventually, after 5 minutes, they're apprehended. They return them to the gym.

Stan: Principal Victoria? We've caught the culprits.

Principal Victoria: Good job. Bill and Fosse, you're in SO MUCH TROUBLE!

Fosse: Our sentence?

Principal Victoria: 4 Months, no wait, 6 MONTHS DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!

Everyone walks out of the school, happy at succeeding in having an innocent person cleared of all charges.

Stan: So Wendy, out for dinner tonight?

Wendy: It's a date Stan. I'll be there.

Stan: Well, see ya. And thanks

Wendy walks off, and Stan walks off too.

The End