A/N:
This is a disclaimer that Star Trek belongs to CBS and Paramount, not myself. No copyright infringement is intended with this work.
This is a warning that this story contains sexual content.
Chapter One
Stardate 2277.20
"Hey Jim. Spock." greeted McCoy as he entered Jim's quarters. Today Jim had invited him and Spock over to celebrate McCoy's birthday party. When he had tried to object earlier Jim had told him that you only turned fifty once and that it had been some time since the three of them had the chance just to spend time together without the women in their lives or fellow Starfleet officers. While that was true McCoy wasn't quite sure what Jim had planned for tonight. Age and experience had mellowed his friend somewhat but McCoy didn't think it had entirely changed him from the man whom he first knew at the Academy.
"So what's the plan for tonight?" McCoy asked after he removed his shoes and jacket.
"We are going to watch a movie and have some dinner. Then it's high time we use my hot tub and play some games." Jim replied.
"But Jim I don't have my swimsuit." McCoy protested.
"You can replicate one. Come on Bones, it's not like I'm going to recommend that we go skinny dipping. You know how badly that turned out the last time." Jim remarked.
"Don't remind me, and no Spock you don't want to know." snapped McCoy as he saw the raised eyebrow of Spock.
"Perhaps not. Shall we begin?" Spock asked. Jim nodded and waved them into his living room. In front of the large screen on the wall there was an array of food on the coffee table. McCoy cast a critical glance at it then sighed.
"I'm not your doctor anymore Jim but do you know how unhealthy pizza and chicken wings are? Not to mention beer…" he critically said as he looked at the food.
"That's not all there is. I replicated some vegetables too and there's some vegetarian lasagna for Spock. Oh, and I also have some bourbon for you." replied Jim as he went to a nearby cabinet and then pulled out a bottle which he handed to McCoy. It was his favourite brand of bourbon, McCoy realized as he looked at the bottle.
"You got glasses Jim?" he asked. Jim quickly returned with glasses for the three of them. McCoy poured a serving of bourbon in all three of their glasses. Jim raised his glass.
"To Doctor McCoy, who is the best friend anyone could have." Jim replied. McCoy smiled at his friend before drinking. Even Spock drank to that which surprised McCoy as he knew that alcohol had no effect on Vulcans.
"Now sit down gentleman. I wanted to watch James Bond. What did you think Bones?" Jim asked.
"Jim those movies are only about explosions, chase scenes, implausible gadgets, and beautiful women." protested McCoy.
"Yes but that's the whole point of them. Would you prefer a Western instead?"Jim wanted to know.
"Yeah. Why don't we watch The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly? The original not the remake." he clarified. Jim nodded and the three of them soon began to watch the movie. McCoy eat some vegetables and pizza while Jim had the chicken wings and Spock eat the vegetarian lasagna. Once the movie was done McCoy helped Jim to clear away the table.
"Doctor I have several questions about the movie we just watched. For instance…" Spock began.
"No Spock. I'm not analyzing the Western genre with you. Just try and appreciate the movie as entertainment all right?" McCoy insisted. The last thing he wanted was to analyze the themes and motifs of the movies he watched which in his opinion would ruin them.
"Very well Doctor." Spock consented. Several minutes later found the three of them on Jim's deck sitting in his hot tub. McCoy had poured them all another serving of bourbon which he had brought out to the hot tub. The hot water and jets of the tub relaxed him. Even Spock looked to be enjoying the water.
"So you mentioned games earlier Jim. What precisely did you mean?" wondered McCoy.
"I was thinking of playing Never Have I Ever and Truth and Dare." Jim explained.
"While I have heard of the latter game I am not familiar with the first game you mentioned. Explain the rules of such a game." Spock wanted to know.
"Well the idea of Never Ever is to ask a question about something that you have never done. If the others have done such a thing then they take a drink. The first one to finish their drink loses. Bones you can go first." Jim explained. McCoy nodded then thought for a while.
"Never ever have I gone skydiving." he said. Jim took a drink but Spock did not.
"All right I'll go next. Never ever have I delivered a baby or babies." Jim replied. McCoy glared at him but did drink.
"Never ever have I flirted with Carol Marcus." replied Spock. Both he and Jim looked at Spock in surprise but they did both drink.
"Speaking of which how is David Marcus?" McCoy asked. After his last five year mission ended in 2276 Jim's son had gotten in touch with him. After his initial surprise McCoy knew that Jim relished the chance to get to know David.
"David's good. He's planning to attend Harvard and become an astrophysicist. His girlfriend Emily seems nice and is very pretty." Jim told him.
"I see that the Kirk charm has continued into the next generation. Anyway back to the game. Speaking of women never ever have I been part of a threesome." McCoy replied. Jim drank which didn't surprise McCoy. He refrained from asking for details about Jim's sex life as he really didn't want to know.
"Never ever have I sang karaoke." Jim said. McCoy glared at him then drank. That was one drunken memory from the Academy that he wished he could forget.
"Never ever have I disobeyed a superior officer." Spock relied. Both Jim and McCoy drank to that one. McCoy took a look at Spock who had barely drunk anything.
"Never ever have I seen Commander Uhura completely naked." McCoy said. That was true as while he'd healed her he'd never done a physical on her. While he wasn't surprised at Spock drinking he was surprised when Jim did.
"When was this Jim?" he asked.
"It was the second year of the first five mission when we beamed down with Ensign Young and Ensign Wong to that tropical planet with the monkeys. The monkeys attacked us and took everything we had including all of our clothes. I thought Spock was going to kill me once he found us." Jim explained.
"There was no need for anger though I will admit I found the discomfort of the landing party mildly amusing." Spock admitted.
"At least you didn't laugh at us. You're a lucky man to have Uhura Spock." Jim told him.
"Indeed." Spock replied. To anyone else his face would have appeared impassive but McCoy knew Spock well enough by now to realize that his face had softened when he was thinking of his wife and the mother of his two children. McCoy admitted to himself that Spock's wife was one hell of a woman as his uncle Jeffrey would have put it.
"Never ever have I drank Romulan ale." Spock said. Jim drank which didn't surprise him. Jim was almost done his drink as was McCoy.
"Never ever have I crashed a shuttle." Jim declared. McCoy reluctantly drank to that one. Both Jim and Spock were better pilots then he was.
"Never ever have I slept with an Orion." McCoy said. Jim drank the last of his drink then looked at the bottom of his glass.
"Oh well, I guess I lost that game. But I don't intend to lose Truth or Dare. Would you refill our glasses Bones?" declared Jim. McCoy refilled Jim's glass then his own. Spock raised a hand as if to tell McCoy that he didn't want any more drink. That was fine by him as it meant more for him later, McCoy thought as he set the bottle back down.
"So who goes first?" McCoy asked.
"You're the one who has a birthday today so you can go first. Truth or dare?" Jim stated.
"Truth." McCoy replied. He hoped that he hadn't just made a mistake.
"Who was your least favourite patient? You don't have to say why. I just want a name." Jim said.
"Ensign Baker." decided McCoy after a moment of reflection. He paused and then turned to look at Jim.
"It's your turn now Jim. Truth or dare?" he wondered.
"Dare." Jim replied to no one's surprise.
"Tell Spock how you learned about Nero's ship attacking the Klingons." McCoy stated. Jim glared at him then sighed.
"Spock do you remember that Uhura had Galia as a roommate at the Academy?" Kirk asked.
"Yes." Spock replied.
"Well it was the afternoon before my third test of the Kobayashi Maru. I was with Galia when Uhura entered the room. Galia wanted me to hide under the bed because she had agreed not to bring anymore men back to the room. So I hid under the bed and overheard Uhura's conversation about Nero's ship attacking the Klingons. Soon afterwards Uhura realized that I was there and kicked me out of the room. I got redressed then went back to my own room." Jim admitted.
"You forgot to mention that you saw Uhura in her underwear because she had been changing before she realized that you were under the bed." McCoy added. Spock raised an eyebrow and turned to look closer at Jim. His friend held up both hands.
"I swear nothing else happened Spock. Uhura told me no at the bar when we first met and so I didn't press the issue after that. As soon as I saw the two of you kiss in the transporter room I accepted that she was never going to date me. I'll admit I was curious as to how your relationship began but I never asked because I didn't want to piss you off again." Jim explained. Spock nodded.
"It's Spock's turn now. Truth or dare?" McCoy wondered.
"Truth." Spock answered.
"Who was the crew member you liked the least on the first five year mission?" McCoy wondered.
"Ensign Piers." replied Spock. McCoy nodded in agreement. The disagreeable medical technician had not been pleasant to anyone. Thankfully McCoy hadn't interacted with Ensign Piers that much as he'd been assigned to beta shift.
"It's Bones's turn again. Truth or dare?" Jim asked.
"Truth." McCoy answered as he really didn't want to think about what kind of dare Jim would dream up for him.
"How is sex with a Andorian woman different then with a Human woman?" Jim wanted to know. McCoy scowled and took a large drink.
"S'nell doesn't want me talking about our sex life with anyone. I'm not about to violate my wife's privacy simply to satisfy your curiosity Jim." he replied.
"OK Bones. Besides, you've become more relaxed since you started sleeping with S'nell so the sex must be very good." Jim responded.
"That would be a logical assumption Jim. I too have noticed a considerable improvement in the mood of the Doctor since he begun an intimate relationship with S'nell." Spock added.
"If either of you say anything more about my sex life then I'll personally show you that I haven't lost my touch with a hypospray. But enough about S'nell and I. Truth or dare Jim?" McCoy snapped.
"Truth." Jim decided.
"Speaking of women when was the last time that you had sex Jim?" McCoy asked. Jim took a long drink before he answered.
"A year ago I spent the weekend with the second wife of the Denobulan Ambassador to Earth. We had a good time together." Jim admitted.
"Spock you're next. Truth or dare?" Jim continued.
"Truth." replied Spock.
"Would you have regrets if neither of your children entered Starfleet?" Jim wondered.
"Not at all. As I had to find my own path through life so do my children. Starfleet, while an admirable organization, is not the only vocation that is of worth." Spock explained. McCoy nodded. His daughter Joanna was a nurse which made McCoy proud. He didn't care that she hadn't joined Starfleet either. In fact he thought that she was likely safer not being on a starship.
"All right this is the last round or I'm going to fall asleep in the tub. Bones truth or dare?" Jim wanted to know. McCoy finished off his drink before he answered.
"Dare." he replied and looked at Jim. McCoy knew that he would likely regret this but he also knew that if he didn't at least accept one dare he'd never hear the end of it from Jim. Jim looked at him for a long moment then smiled.
"I dare you to kiss S'nell with tongue in front of Spock and I." Jim challenged.
"Jim! You know that my wife isn't too fond of public displays of affection." protested McCoy.
"I do. But are you saying that you don't want to kiss your wife anymore?" Jim wondered.
"I love S'nell so of course I want to kiss her." McCoy snapped. He closed his mouth before he said anything further.
"Fine. Jim, truth or dare?" McCoy demanded.
"Dare." Jim declared. McCoy paused for a moment.
"I dare you to drink an entire goblet of Klingon bloodwine." he challenged his friend.
"Bones, you know how strong that stuff is!" protested Jim.
"I do which is why I will leave you a hypospray for your hangover the next morning." McCoy promised him. He might enjoy seeing Jim squirm but he wasn't about to see him suffer too much. He did have an obligation to do no harm as a doctor after all.
"Fine. Spock truth or dare?" Jim said.
"Truth." Spock replied.
"Who was the first woman you slept with?" asked Jim.
"My wife." replied Spock.
"All right. I think that's enough for now. Thanks for the party Jim but both Spock and I have to go home now." McCoy replied as he got out of the hot tub.
"All right. But we're going to meet back here in a week to carry out our dares." Jim told them. McCoy nodded in agreement as did Spock.