He was too small. As he slept his red face scrunched in anguish, like the condemned world he was forced to live in was already plaguing him with a nightmare. His fists curled tightly against his chest, releasing, then clamping down again. Ellie ran her fingers over the hot skin revealed by his blanket, but it was so raw she could hardly do so without making him writhe in discomfort. He was tender. He wasn't ready yet. He needed more time.

Ellie checked the clock. Hours ago, as twilight fell upon the medical quarters, the now peaceful room was overwhelmed with frantic voices. Ellie watched head nurse Esther and her team swarm the choking infant. His attempts to cry came out as inhuman sounds that froze Ellie to where she knelt at the bed. Her heart dropped into her stomach when she felt Dina's claw-like grip on her arm drop it into limpness.

Ellie had seen more than enough childbirths during her time training at the military school to know this one was bad. At only seven months, there were certainly risks, but he also was born with the cord wrapped around his neck, and while Dina was still recovering from injuries. Ellie had also seen enough blood in her day to fill her eyes with a crimson sea every time she closed them, but there was something far worse about seeing Dina's blood—Dina who had just been to hell and back—in her own footprints as it pooled onto the floor. Her cries of pain still rang in her ears, even now in the quiet morning.

Now, as Dina slept soundly, her chapped lips parted, Ellie tried to focus on her ragged breathing. She used her free hand to move Dina's sweaty hair away from her face. It was hot, and the small window on the other side of the room only offered a weak breeze. Was it late summer already? Ellie wasn't sure; lately, she hadn't had time to care.

Ellie's hand moved down from Dina's face to trace her collarbones and her freckled arms. Feeling her. Her softness. Her hardness. She was here. Back. Ellie brought her back three days ago, but so far, so much of it was spent asleep on both of their parts, as well as plenty of time in the medical ward. The most they've talked was the sobbed I love you's they shared when they reunited.

Ellie put eight bullets in his head. The father of Dina's baby, that is. She didn't know how Dina felt about that yet. Not that Ellie would ever regret it. She hardly got a good look at the guy, her rage blinded her, and her hot tears clouded up her vision. But she knew the baby looked like Dina. As much as a wrinkly, undercooked baby could look like someone, she guessed. But still, Ellie saw Dina in his brown eyes and dark curls. Dina was in the arch of his nose and in the shape of his lips and in the curve of his ears. Ellie saw Dina—not the man with eight bullets in his head rotting in some barn at the Seraphite's camp.

And so, as Ellie held the baby in the crook of her arm close to her chest, the leaves of her tattoo poking out and framing his frail body, she felt only love for him. He was part of Dina, and she loved every bit of Dina. The words from her mother's note floated in and out of her brain as the baby's soft breaths tickled the skin above her shirt and left it warm and damp.

I'm going to share a secret with you, I'm not a big fan of kids and I hate babies. And yet…I'm staring at you and I'm just awestruck. You're not even a day old and holding you is the most incredible thing I've done in my life.

Ellie didn't know much about her mother, but having this feeling, the same one Anna had described in her note—this feeling of awestruck and incredible love—Ellie understood that now, and it made her feel the closest to her mother that she ever had.

She leaned down and pressed her forehead against the baby's, letting her ridiculously heavy eyelids fall close. Before Dina went into labor yesterday afternoon, Ellie was able to get a few hours of rest on the couch next to Joel. He had forced her to leave the medical ward for a while to get some food and fresh air. He was worried about her. He definitely looked like he aged a few years since she left, the wrinkles in his frown creased deeper and his walk was a little stiffer. He served her a vegetable soup that she attempted to keep down and he rubbed her back until she fell asleep against his shoulder. It had been a long time since she felt that young and safe.

Now he was trying to give them some space. Which Ellie knew must be hell for him. He had been hovering since they returned, but that didn't really bother Ellie. She was used to it, and to be honest, she really missed it. He cried when she returned—"You did good Baby Girl"—watery against her neck. He tried to hide it for her sake and Dina's, but she also saw him cry when he saw Dina's bump. He pulled the older girl into his chest to hide the fact, and whispered thankful words into Dina's ear that Ellie couldn't make out. She knew right now he couldn't be any farther than just outside the door.

Dina stirred under Ellie's touch and her eyes snapped open.

"Ellie," her lips read, but Dina didn't say any words. Relief washed everything away—the exhaustion, the fear, all of her spiraling thoughts—and Ellie let herself fall into Dina. She moved her arm so she held the baby at her side and not between them, and kissed her neck and face, letting her tears warm Dina's clammy skin.

"I was so fucking worried, I love you, I love you,"

"I love you," Dina whispered back, lifting a weak arm to stroke her hair. "I'm here."

Ellie pulled away and brought the baby to his mother's chest, and Dina whimpered at the first sight of him.

"Oh Ellie," she said, taking him into her arms, and Ellie helped her sit up. "It's alive."

"Well, he fought like hell to be. Just like you."

"He," Dina breathed. "He made it. I have a son."

It was the first time Dina's eyes lit up since she was taken from her. It made Ellie's heart flutter. She's going to be okay. Ellie kissed her jaw.

"Yeah."

"Will you help me?" Her eyes locked with Ellie's, searching for the answer, almost worriedly. Ellie knew exactly what she meant.

"I would do everything for you," Ellie whispered against her. "And him."

Dina leaned up to kiss her, softly, and just that seemed to drain her of energy. Then they sat in silence as Dina did her best to feed the baby. Ellie wasn't an expert on breastfeeding, but she could tell that Dina certainly wasn't either, so the process was a bit awkward and lengthy, especially with the bandages Dina still had over her shoulder and abdomen.

When she finished, Dina buttoned up the top of her shirt and laid the baby across her chest. She avoided Ellie's eyes as she laced a hand through hers.

"When I realized I was pregnant I was so damn scared," she said. "I was having a hard enough time trying to find reason to keep fighting—to keep myself alive. Suddenly I had to keep both of us alive. And I was in pain. I felt like I was going to die."

Ellie felt the rage bubble back up as she pictured Dina alone and realizing she was pregnant. A pain pierced her head and her stomach churned. Dina squeezed her hand.

"But I thought, if I make it through this, I will have a baby. And I remember thinking that if I had a girl, I would name her Ellie."

Ellie's throat tightened. "What if you had a boy?" she asked hoarsely, the anger slowly leaving her.

"I would name him Noah."

Ellie couldn't help but smile into her shoulder, feeling a wave of tears rise again.

"Well it's a good thing it's not a girl then, because that would get really confusing."

"You're a fucking dork," Dina laughed, but it sounded gravelly and tearful.

"You sure you want me to help raise your kid?"

Dina cocked an eyebrow. "Unfortunately you're one of the better options."

Ellie kissed her a hundred times over again. Along her cheek to her ear and back down her neck, until the tears were fresh once more. "I love you," she kissed her lips, "and I love Noah."

"We love you too."

Let me know if you guys enjoyed this! And if you are looking forward to TLOU2!