Professor Chaos and his minions of Chaos were at the Airport Hilton discussing plans
Professor Chaos: My fellow minions. For too long we have watched as South Park crumbled under our feet. School Shootings, Gender Wars, The President running amok. I think it's about time we do something about it
A door opened
Maitre d': Got everything you need here, sir? Okay on beverages, buffet items?
Professor Chaos: Yes we do have everything
Maitre d': Great. Hey, I just want to say that the Airport Hilton really appreciates your continued business
Professor Chaos: Thank you. Wait what?
Maitre d': Aren't you the little boy who started a retaliation against the girls for being blamed for their problems?
Professor Chaos: No I am not the boy who has a problem with Brie Larson
Maitre d': Oh good. He was pretty psychotic and I don't think he had anything against Brie Larson
Professor Chaos: Um ok. And again yes we have everything
Maitre d': Ok great. Thanks for choosing the Airport Hilton
The maitre d' left
Professor Chaos: As I was saying, the real cause to all of South Park's problems is our president. Why do these school shootings happen? Because the president doesn't do anything about it, that's why! I was inspired by an episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine, where some crook was vandalising people's cars by spray painting dicks on people's cars. So we're gonna spray paint dicks on the Presidents limo, chopper, plane and finally The White House. Any questions?
A Chaos Minion raises his hand
Professor Chaos: Yes
Chaos Minion: When are we gonna do it?
Professor Chaos: Next Saturday
Chaos Minion: You sure you don't wanna do it now?
Professor Chaos: I'm sure
Chaos Minions: Maybe we should do it now so it is easier. I mean now is the time for us to act now! The school shootings, there's probably one happening now and maybe a Gender war, that could be happening right now
Professor Chaos: Do not question my authority. And also, you've been saying "now" quite a lot. Is "now" the only word you speak?
Suddenly somebody burst through the window
It was Mysterion
Professor Chaos: Mysterion!
Mysterion: Sorry Stan I didn't hear the signal
The Chaos Minion removed his hat and mask to reveal Stan in disguise
Stan: Apology accepted
Professor Chaos: Freedom Pals! Get them
Professor Chaos than tried to retreat
Mysterion: Stan, hold the goons off. I'll handle Chaos
Stan started to kick the Chaos Minions' asses
Mysterion continued to chase Professor Chaos
But was stopped by a massive Chaos goon
Mysterion: Of course there's a large one
Professor Chaos: Let's see how you like this one Mysterion
Professor Chaos ran off
Mysterion: Alright big dick. Let's see how you like me
The goon than punched Mysterion across the room
Mysterion: Ouch!
Professor Chaos made it to the 3rd floor
Professor Chaos: Wait, What am I doing on the 3rd floor? I should've thought of this escape plan more
Suddenly there was a loud clang
Professor Chaos: Mysterion?
Meanwhile
Stan was dealing with all the Chaos minions, kicking their asses
Stan gave one of them a roundhouse kick and kicked one of them in the balls
Stan made chase to a lone Chaos Minion
He chased him outside
Stan managed to stop him by throwing a power drill right at his head
Stan: Bullseye. Hope I didn't kill him
Chaos Minion: Who throws a power drill? Honestly
Stan: Oh. Thank God
Meanwhile
Professor Chaos: Hello. Is anyone there?
Voice: Your angel of death
In front of Chaos stood a mysterious cloaked figure
Professor Chaos: Mysterion?
Voice: Call me that if you wish, but I think it's taken
Professor Chaos: Huh?
Suddenly the figure grabbed Chaos
Professor Chaos: Let go of me
The figure than threw Professor Chaos out of the window
Professor Chaos than crash landed on the ground with a hard thud
Stan: What the?!
Meanwhile
Mysterion defeated the goon
Mysterion than heard a scream
Mysterion: What the?
Mysterion than ran up to the third floor to find a broken window
Mysterion went to inspect the damage
Mysterion saw Professor Chaos lying on the bottom floor twitching
Stan: Kenny?! What the fuck?!
Mysterion: What do you mean Stan?!
Stan: Butters told me you threw him out of the window, you bastard!
Mysterion stood in confusion and shock
Stan: Stay still Kenny. I'm coming up
Mysterion than threw fire crackers and disappeared
Stan: Shit! Don't worry Butters. I'll get you to the hospital
The next day
South Park Elementary
Nelly was crying by her locker
Nelly: I can't believe that bastard would do something like that to my Butters
Annie: There, there Nelly. He's lucky to still be alive
Stan: Nelly. I'm gonna get that bastard trust me
Stan ran up to Kenny
Stan: Kenny! Why the fuck did you throw Butters out of the window?!
Kenny than ran off
Stan: Hey don't run off from me!
Craig: Class has started you moron
Stan: Oh!
4th Grade class
Stan kept dirty eyeing Kenny
Mrs Nelson: Students. I know we're still worried about fellow student Butters Stotch, but let us pray that the one who caused Butters to be hospitalised will be locked up
Stan: Yeah...I wonder...who it could be?
Stan kept dirty eyeing Kenny
Kenny: Why the fuck are you staring at me like that?
Mrs Nelson: But on the brighter side we have a new student
Heidi: I wonder if her name is Marjorine?
Heidi than started to dirty eye Cartman
Cartman: Why da fuck are you staring at me like that?
Mrs Nelson: Students, give a nice welcome to Kelly
Kenny: Kelly?
A girl entered the class and she had blonde hair and was wearing a blue shirt
Kelly: Hey everyone. Some of you don't remember me, but I was part of the Getting Gay With Kids choir with some of you students
Cartman than nudged Kenny
Cartman: Hey Kinny. Kinny. It's your ex girlfriend
Kenny: I know
Mrs Nelson: Kelly would you like to take Butters' seat
Kelly than took a seat next to Kenny
Kelly: Oh hey Lenny
Kenny than frowned
Recess
Kenny was frowning by a tree
Whilst Stan and Wendy watched from afar
Wendy was stroking Stan's shoulder
Wendy: You seem on edge Stan, is something wrong?
Stan: I think Kenny was the one who put Butters in hospital
Wendy: What makes you think he did?
Stan: I mean after Butters hit the ground, I saw Kenny looking down and instead of coming down and explaining, he just threw his firecrackers and ran off
Wendy: You sure he wasn't scared?
Stan: No it was Kenny! He did it!
Wendy: Stan. You can't prove it was Kenny, maybe Butters just slipped over a banana peel or something
Stan: But he was pain and he screamed it was Mysterion who did it. I mean look at Kenny, he's probably wondering if he's gonna hurt somebody
But Kenny was just sulking by a tree and he started to have a flashback
The boys were just walking home
Kyle: Stan stop being miserable. I'm pretty sure she knew you didn't mean it
(A/N: This flashback takes place in between season 9 and 10)
Stan: Yeah. I still love her Kyle, I'm just scared that she still doesn't like me
Cartman: Shut up moaning about her Stan. Kinny's talks about his girlfriend is enough, I don't need another one
Kenny: I'll catch you guys later. I'm gonna call Kelly
Kenny ran home and picked up his phone and dialled for Kelly
Kenny: Hey Kelly
Kelly: Oh hey Benny
Kenny: It's Kenny. And what's up?
Kelly: Kenny. I don't know, if I can handle long distance relationship anymore
Kenny: Kelly, we've been together for 3 months. It's working trust me
Kelly: But I don't see you, I just hear you. I wish I could see you
Kenny: Look Kelly. How about you come to South Park someday and we'll be able to see each other?
Kelly: I don't know. It's probably gonna be expensive
Kenny: Kelly, couldn't you just try and save up for a coach trip to come here to South Park
Kelly: That doesn't sound like a bad idea actually Lenny
Kenny: Knew that would work
Kelly: You're my hero Benny
Kenny: I know
Half an hour later
They stopped talking
Kenny just sat in his room and started to draw some designs for a superhero costume
The first design looked like a gay Robin Hood crossed with Zorro
So Kenny just scrunched it up and threw it away
Kenny: Too gay
Carol: You drunk piece of shit!
Kenny peeked out of his room to see what his parents were arguing about
Carol: You lost our daughter?!
Stuart: I just fell asleep
Carol: Because you've been drinking
Stuart: And you get high
Carol: Fuck you
Carol and Stuart started to punch each other
Kenny: Karen! Karen!
Kenny than ran out of the house
Kenny: Karen! Karen!
Karen was in the middle of the road playing with her doll
Karen: Hi Kenny
Kenny noticed a truck coming up the road
Kenny: Shit! It's driving in the wrong side of the road, it's obviously a drunk driver
Kenny ran into the middle of the road and grabbed Karen taking her to safety
Karen: Oh my gosh! It almost killed me
Karen than started to cry
Kenny: It's ok
Kenny hugged Karen
Kenny: It's ok. It's ok. It's stopped I'm here. I'm always here for you. I would kill myself if you died, if I could
Karen: Oh big bro. You are so mysterion
Kenny: Mysterion?! Don't you mean mysterious?
Karen: Yeah. That word
Kenny continued to hug Karen until the flashback ended
Present Day
Kenny was still sulking by the tree
Tammy: Hey Ken
Kenny: Oh hey Tammy
Tammy: You just seemed down and I wanted to see if you were ok
Kenny: Oh it's nothing Tam
Tammy: You sure Ken?
Kenny: Oh I'm sure
Kelly than walked up
Kelly: Hey Lenny
Kenny: Oh shit!
Tammy: Ken, who is this?
Kelly: And you are?
Tammy: I'm Tammy. I'm Kenny's girlfriend. And did you just call him Benny?
Kelly: Oh! You have a girlfriend. I see you moved on
Kenny: Yeah
Kelly: Well it was nice seeing you Lenny
Kelly walked off
Tammy: So this is why you're sulking by a tree, you still have feelings for her don't you?
Kenny: What? No! I love you more
Tammy: You seem like you don't know who you love
Kenny: No I do. Please stop overreacting
Tammy: Sorry Ken. I guess I kind of did. As long as you two just be friends I'll be ok
Kenny: Ok
Tegridy Farms
Randy was in the living room getting high with Towelie
Randy: Whoah. Do you think one day we could make a Pineapple Express 2?
Towelie: What do you mean?
Randy: I mean, if Seth Rogen and James Franco can't do it, than we might as well do it. I'll be James Franco and you'll be Seth Rogen
Towelie: No I wanna be James Franco
Randy: Come on. I make the weed, so I should be James Franco
Towelie: I help too
Randy: No you just sit there and smoke it. Hey Stan, could you go into the barn and grab my phone for me?
Stan: Get it yourself
Randy: Stan, do as your told
Stan went into the barn to grab Randy's phone
Stan: If he wasn't so high all the time, than I wouldn't be doing it
Voice: Stanley Marsh
Stan: Mysterion? I knew it was you
Voice: I am your angel of death
Stan: Alright Kenny quit it. Just show yourself
Voice: How about I show you something else?
Stan: What?
Voice: Very well, there's a man made bomb behind you and it's gonna blow in 9 seconds
Stan turned around to see a bomb
Stan ran as fast as he could
The bomb blows up and Stan got knocked down by the blast
Towelie: Hey Randy. Did you hear something blow up?
Randy: Maybe it was just Michael Bay filming another movie
Sharon: Randy! Look outside
Randy looked outside to see his barn destroyed and an unconscious Stan
Randy: I'm totally high right now, although the burning does smell a little bit realistic
Sharon ran outside
Sharon: Stan!
Sharon had tears in her eyes
Sharon: Oh my God! Who would do this to him?!
Randy: Stan!
Sharon held Stan's unconscious body
The next day
Hells Pass hospital
Stan was hospitalised because of his injuries
Wendy was at his side crying her eyes out
Wendy: Stan! Please wake up
Kyle: The doctors said he was gonna make a recovery, but they don't know when he'll wake up
Kenny entered the room
Kenny: Hey guys
Wendy: You son of a bitch!
Wendy ran up to Kenny and started to punch him
Kenny: Ow! I didn't do it
Wendy: Bullshit! He was right. You wanted to shut him up, so you decided to blow him up!
Wendy continued to punch Kenny
Kyle: Wendy! Wendy! Stop! Stop!
Kyle grabbed Wendy and started to hug her
Kyle: I'm worried about him too. He's gonna be ok! Please don't worry
Kyle gave Kenny a dirty look
Kyle: I think you should leave
Kenny left the room
As Kenny left the room, Wendy continued crying into Kyle's shoulders
Downtown South Park
Kenny was walking down the street
Kenny: Why do they think I did it?
As Kenny continued walking, he noticed Kelly in Tweek's coffee chatting with Bradley Biggle
Kelly: So you're actually an alien?
Bradley: Yup! I'm the superhero known as Mint-Berry Crunch
Kelly: Wow! You sounds pretty awesome. Do you have a weakness?
Bradley: I can't stand skimmed milk. It affects my powers
Kelly: Really? Something so obvious
Bradley: So what brings you to South Park?
Kelly: Oh my parents decided to move here and also say hello to a few friends
Kelly put her hand on Bradley's
Whilst Kenny just watched on
Than Kenny started to have another flashback
(A/N: This flashback takes place after The List)
Stevens residence
Kenny: Again I'd like to thank you for helping me design my costume Bebe
Bebe: My pleasure Kenny. It's so good you're deciding to do something about the crime in South Park
Kenny: Yeah. For the sake of my sister
Bebe: Aww! Gross!
Kenny: What?!
Bebe: Clyde's underwear. He always leaves them here every time! God! They're no good at all
Kenny: Hold on! They could be good for something
Bebe: What?
Kenny: I really needed something by the crotch area, so maybe these might be good for something
Bebe: Alright. Whatever makes totally not ridiculous
Kenny: Hey!
Bebe: What?! Just giving you my honest opinion
Kenny: Alright, work on the costume. I promised Kelly, I'd pick her up. We're going on a double date with Stan and Wendy
Bebe: They got back together?!
Kenny: Yeah! Two weeks. Didn't you hear?
Bebe: I just got out of prison, so no
Kenny: I know. I'll see ya later Bebe
Kenny left the Stevens and went to the bus station to fetch Kelly
Kelly got off the bus
Kelly: Benny!
Kenny ran up to Kelly and hugged her
Kelly: I've missed you so much Lenny
Kenny: It's Kenny and was the journey long?
Kelly: Yeah very long
Kenny: Oh! Well come on, we don't wanna miss our double date
Kelly: Alright
Tweek's coffee
Kenny and Kelly entered Tweek's coffee
Stan: Kenny over here
Kenny and Kelly sat across from Stan and Wendy
Kenny: Wendy this is my girlfriend Kelly
Kelly: Well it's nice to meet you Wendy
Wendy: You too
Kelly: So how did you two meet?
Wendy: Well we met each other in pre school and we became a couple in 3rd grade. But we barley saw each other, so I just broke up with him
Kelly: So why did you two get back together?
Stan: Well, it just happened you know? She said I changed somehow. We're trying to make it work again, we agreed that we should try and make time for each other
Kelly: Although I did hear you two have trouble kissing
Stan: Kenny!
Kenny: What? It's funny!
Kelly: I'm not gonna lie, it kind of is
Wendy: We've been trying to kiss, but he keeps throwing up
Stan: I think it's because I get a little nervous. It just happens you know?
Wendy: Why?
Stan: Because you're so beautiful
Wendy: Aww Stan
Wendy kisses Stan on the cheek, all of a sudden...
Stan BLEEEECH!
Stan threw up on the table
Kenny: Some way to start the double date
Kelly gave Kenny a friendly punch
Wendy: Well at least I'm not wearing it this time
They all laughed
Wendy: So how long have you two known each other?
Kenny: Oh we met when me, Stan, Kyle and Fat ass were forced to join the Getting Gay With Kids Choir. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to be in a relationship with me at first, but we decided to make it long distance. I personally think it's working, I mean we don't see each other but we do talk and I personally think it's working
Kelly than started crying
Kenny: Kelly? What's wrong?
Kelly: I'm sorry
Kelly than left Tweek's coffee
Kenny went after her
Stan and Wendy just sat their
Richard (Tweek's Dad): Oh goddamnit again? Seriously Stan, when will you learn to control that stomach of yours?
Outside
Kenny: Kelly. Is there something wrong?
Kelly turned to face her boyfriend, she had tears in her eyes
Kelly: I don't know if I can handle this long distance relationship anymore. I mean we live so far apart and we barley see each other, it becomes too much for me Benny. I mean I love you, but I don't know if I can handle this relationship anymore
Kenny: Kelly, I love you. I don't want us to break up
Kelly: But how are we going to handle this long distance relationship?
Kenny: Maybe, I could try and move into your town
Kelly: But, What about your family?
Kenny: Fuck my family! They won't even care when I'm gone, they'll just get high and drink booze. Kelly, I want us to be together. I don't want us to be so far apart any longer, I'll say goodbye to my friends and than we find a bus to your town and than we can live happily ever after
Kelly: Oh Lenny
Kenny: Come on. Let's finish this date
They enter Tweek's coffee again
Kenny: Oh. I see he's got it this time
They see Stan and Wendy kissing each other, full lip contact
Stan looked over Wendy and gave Kenny a thumbs up
Kenny: Should we try it?
Kelly: Huh?
Kenny: We haven't done it yet. So I think we should
Kelly held Kenny by the shoulders and pulled the hood from his parka down
They closed their eyes and pressed their lips against each other
Flashback ends
Kenny sighed and headed back home
As Kenny continued walking, he notices a newspaper
Kenny read the newspaper and got shocked to see what the headline said
The headline reads "Police have a warrant for Mysterion's arrest"
Kenny stood in shock and made a run for it
McCormick residence
Kenny was sleeping in his bed
As he slept a mysterious purple light entered the house and that light was shining from none other than Mint-Berry Crunch
Mint-Berry Crunch (Whispering): Shablagoo
Mint-Berry Crunch snuck around for a bit and entered Kenny's room
Mint-Berry Crunch (Whispering): I'm sorry Kenny, I have to take you in
Mint-Berry Crunch grabbed Kenny, but Kenny turned out to be a dummy
Mint-Berry Crunch: What the?
Voice: Bradley Biggle
Mint-Berry Crunch: Huh?
Voice: You're angel of death awaits
The figure approached Mint-Berry Crunch
Mint-Berry Crunch: What the hell?!
Voice: Here have a drink
The figure threw milk at Mint-Berry Crunch
Mint-Berry Crunch: What is milk gonna do to stop me Kenny?
Voice: But what kind of milk?
Mint-Berry Crunch than started to twitch and fell to the floor
Voice: I always thought skimmed milk would kill you. But really, it's just an allergic reaction, that weakens the powers. Soon The Freedom Pals will be extinct and I will be South Park's champion
The figure disappeared
Meanwhile
Mysterion was on top of a building letting the rain drops land on him
He noticed Kelly crossing the street and was suddenly approached by 6th graders
6th Grader 1: Hello stupid forthy
Kelly: Hello. Listen I really need to get home
6th Grader 2: Couldn't you just stay here a while?
Kelly: What do you want from me?
6th Grader 3: I don't know. We just wanna give you a warm welcome
Kelly was grabbed by the 6th Graders
Kelly: Help! Help! Help!
Mysterion landed in front of the 6th Graders
Mysterion: Let her go!
6th Grader 1: Him again?
6th Grader 3: Lets get out of here
6th Grader 2: No! We can beat him this time
The 6th Graders attacked Mysterion, but Mysterion defeated them by kicking the first one in the balls
The 2nd one by throwing him onto a curb giving him a head injury
And the final one by one punch to the face
Mysterion approached Kelly
Mysterion: Are you ok?
Kelly: Yeah?
Mysterion: It's not safe at night, a lot of vermin come out. You should go home, before the even bigger vermin show up
Kelly: Thank you. Who are you?
Mysterion: Just a friend
Kelly: What do you mean!
Mysterion: You'll find out one day. See ya
Kelly grabbed Mysterion's arm
Kelly: Wait. Doesn't my superhero deserve a gift?
Mysterion: What do you mean?
Kelly than kissed Mysterion
Mysterion was gonna ask her too stop, but he just kissed back
Kelly: Wait a minute. Your lips, they feel...Benny?
Mysterion ran off
Kelly: It can't be
The next day
Announcer: This is channel 5 news with Tim Pusslicker
Tom: Good morning. Our top story, Mysterion struck again and attacked another 4th Grader. This time it was Bradley Biggle. Who had an allergic reaction to skimmed milk. Mysterion had already tried to kill Leopold "Butters" Stotch and Stanley Marsh. But his attempts left them hospitalised. Earlier today one of our journalists managed to have a quick interview with the police chief, Harrison Yates
Yates: We are doing everything we can to arrest Mysterion. He is a menace and a murderer and we do not tolerate that
Cop: Um sir. Hat McCulloch killed another baby again
Yates: Oh good for him! We are gonna search everywhere for Mysterion, every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse outhouse and doghouse until he's found!
The TV turned off
The Coon: This is his fault. First Chaos, Toolshed, now Mint-Berry Crunch. Timmy I hate to say this, but I think you're next
Doctor Timothy: Why?
The Coon: Because you're a telepath and you could damage his mind
Doctor Timothy: For once The Coon said something smart
Tupperware: I forgot to ask, where's Call Girl and Coon Girl?
Doctor Timothy: Call Girl is still upset about Toolshed and Coon Girl is comforting her
Human Kite: She's really upset about it
Mosquito: I know
O'Malley: Fools, this is amazing. Mysterion is turning to the dark side
(A/N: O'Malley is Clyde's evil side)
Mosquito: Shut up O'Malley
Captain Diabetes: How are we gonna stop Mysterion?
Wonder Tweek: AAAAAHHHHHH! What if I'm next?
The Coon: I think we'll have to turn to our enemies
Fast Pass: What enemy will we-we-we-we turn too?
The Coon: I know a guy
Tupperware: You sure it's a guy, you sure it's not a girl
The Coon: No it's definitely a guy
Meanwhile
Stevens residence
Bebe was on her phone
Bebe: Wendy, the doctors said that Stan was gonna be fine, please stop worrying...what am I gonna do with you?...Ok Wendy please cheer up...Alright call you later
Bebe hung up
A shadow suddenly appeared
Bebe screamed
Bebe: Oh it's you
The shadow belonged to Mysterion
Mysterion: I need your help Bebe
Bebe: Why should I help you? After everything you caused
Mysterion: I didn't do any of those things. If I did do those things, I would've only done it to Cartman
Bebe: Well you do have a point. But why me?
Mysterion: Because you designed my costume, that's a fact a lot of people don't know about me. So I thought nobody will find me here. Until I prove my innocence, could I stay here for a bit?
Bebe: Alright you can stay here for a while until your innocence is proven
Mysterion: Thank you
Bebe: So Kelly
Mysterion: What about her?
Bebe: Shes back in town
Mysterion: Yeah so?
Bebe: Well, What are you gonna do about her? You're in a relationship with that Tammy Warner and Kelly's back. Is it causing any conflict?
Mysterion: What me and Kelly has was special along time ago. But I've moved on from her and I'm perfectly happy with her
Bebe: You sure? You don't seem quite sure
Mysterion: What makes you say that?!
Bebe: I was only asking
Mysterion: How I feel about Kelly's presence is none of your business you understand? Now if you excuse me I'm gonna have a shower
Mysterion went to have a shower
Whilst having a shower, Kenny started to have another flashback
Stevens residence
Kenny entered the house and went up to Bebe's room
Kenny: Hey Bebe. Is my costume done yet?
Bebe was on her bed looking down
Kenny: Bebe?
Bebe: Kelly told me to give this to you
Bebe gave Kenny a note
Kenny started to read it
Kenny: "Kenny, I don't think moving to my town is gonna work. And I can't handle long distance any longer. It's not your fault nor mine. We can't fix this. I'm sorry, but our relationship is over. Kelly"
Kenny had tears in his eyes and so did Bebe
Bebe: I'm so sorry
Kenny and Bebe hugged each other
Later that night
Bebe: It's finished. Try it on
Kenny put the Mysterion costume on
Kenny starred at the mask for a second than he put it on
He turned around to look at Bebe and Bebe stood shock
Bebe wasn't shocked at what Kenny looked like, she was shocked at what he became
Bebe: My God! The underwear does go good with the costume
Well mainly at what he became
Flashback ends
The Coon went to an abandoned carnival to get help
The Coon explored all the empty stalls
The Coon: Jesus! What lazy assholes decided to leave all these out?
Voice: The stupid kind
The Coon looked around to see who was talking to him
It was Scott Tenorman wearing clown makeup similar to Mark Hamill's joker
The Coon: Scott Tenorman! Why the fuck are you dressed like Pennywise?
Scott: I'm not Pennywise. I'm The Joker
The Coon: Whatever! Aren't they the same?
Scott: NO!
The Coon: Well they kill-You know what? Discussing which evil clown is which isn't gonna help. I need your help
Scott: What can I do for my little brother?
The Coon: I need your help. It's Mysterion, he's gone nuts
Scott: What do you want me to do about it?
The Coon: Because I'm your brother
Scott: Why should I help you? After everything you did, I don't care if you're my little brother. I will not help
The Coon: Pleas Scott. You still wanna humiliate me don't you? What if Mysterion kills me?
Scott: Well you have a good point. But I have a secret
The Coon: What is it?
Suddenly a dark figure knocked out The Coon
Scott: Your angel of death is here
Dark Figure: Dude! That was my line
Scott: Don't complain, I came up with it
Dark Figure: Good point
Stevens residence
Kenny: I'm glad you think I'm innocent
Bebe: Well you said you wanted to fight for the greater good
Kenny: Yeah
Bebe: Oh by the way. There's a guest coming
Kenny: Who is it?
There was a knock on the door
Bebe: Go on answer it
Kenny answered the door
And Tammy stood there
Tammy: Ken!
Tammy hugged Kenny and Kenny hugged back
Tammy: I've been looking everywhere for you
Tammy punched Kenny
Kenny: What the fuck was that for?
Tammy: That was for scaring me! You've been missing for a day! I've tried calling you and than I realised that you didn't have a cell phone. I've visited your parents and they said they didn't know where you are, well maybe it was because they were high. I've asked your friends and they said "Fuck him". Why the fuck are you staying at Bebe's house?
Kenny: Tammy. There's something I need to tell you
Bebe: Kenny don't
Tammy: Why isn't he allowed to tell me? Is he cheating on me with you?
Bebe: No! He's too poor for me
Kenny: Hey!
Bebe: What? It's true!
Kenny: Anyway, I need to tell you something
Kenny and Tammy went to Bebe's room
Kenny: During our relationship we promised we would tell each other's secrets. Well, there's one thing I kept a secret from you. I am Mysterion
Kenny that quickly put on the costume
Tammy: So you're a criminal?
Mysterion: Tammy. I am not a criminal, I was framed by somebody who probably looks like me. I stand for the greater good. I started to protect the town when things started to get worse and also when my sister almost died. I have noticed that this town gets shittier and shittier everyday and I continue fighting as Mysterion
Tammy: So Kelly kissed you the other day?
Mysterion: What?
Tammy: Don't lie to me Ken! I saw it with my own eyes!
Mysterion: Tammy I can explain
Tammy: Did you like the way she kissed you?
Mysterion: Tammy-
Tammy: Did you enjoy it Ken? Did you?!
Mysterion sighed
Mysterion: It did feel nice. Tammy-
Tammy ran out of the house crying
Bebe: Wow!
Mysterion: I've fucked up
Bebe: Tell me about it
Mysterion stood still as he has another flashback
Kenny was sulking by a tree
Whilst the others were playing football
Craig: What's wrong with him?
Kyle: His girlfriend broke up with him
Cartman: Really?
Cartman starts nudging Stan
Cartman: 5 bucks says she starts dating Token
Stan: But she's gone back home. So there's no way she's dating Token
Token walked past on his phone
Token: Yeah...Well I'm glad this long distance relationship is working with us...I'll call you later Kelly
Cartman: Stan, you owe me 5 bucks
Stan: It could be another Kelly
Token: Yeah...I'll say hi to Kenny for you
Cartman: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Token approached Kenny
Kenny than screamed at Token
Stan: What did he say?
Token: Kenny called me the n-word
Craig: Ouch
Stan: Butters, use your beautiful sadness speech
Butters: Huh?
Stan: That speech you gave to me when Wendy broke up with me
Butters: Ok
Butters approaches Kenny
Butters: Hey Kenny-
Kenny punches Butters in the balls
The goths show up
Michael: Hey the speech didn't work on him
Henrietta: It's only a matter of time before he becomes goth
Stan: Come on. Let's play football somewhere else. Seeing Kenny being depressed is making me depressed
Kyle: Good idea. Come on Butters
Butters got up still holding his balls
Butters: Coming fellas
Butters follows the others
Kenny continued sulking, until a girl approached him
Girl: Hey
Kenny: Hey
Girl: Is this where most people go to sulk about their breakups?
Kenny: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Girl: Oh! Definitely a breakup
Kenny: How can you tell?
Girl: I just can
Kenny: Oh
Girl: I've been through a breakup too. He broke up with me because he couldn't handle a long distance relationship anymore
Kenny: Same here
Girl: I just wish he just allowed it continue
The girl started crying
Kenny started patting her on the back
Kenny: Hey. Hey. Don't cry. I don't enjoy seeing women cry. Well except for Kim Kardashian when she isn't famous anymore
The girl than gave a small chuckle
The Girl: You're actually kind of funny. My name's Tammy. Tammy Warner
Kenny: Tammy, lovely name for a 5th Grader
Tammy: How can you tell?
Kenny: I've seen you around the school sometimes, coming out of Mr Rotch's class
Tammy: Oh
Kenny: My name is Kenny by the way
Tammy: Nice name. Anyway, would you like to hang out with me sometime?
Kenny: I mean, we've been through similar experiences together. And you seem like a nice girl. Of course
Tammy holds Kenny's hand
Tammy: Thank you Ken
Flashback ends
Mysterion just stood there
Bebe: Kenny. Kenny. You've been standing there for 3 hours
Mysterion: I'm sorry. I was having a flashback
Tammy's house
Tammy was crying at a picture of Kenny
Tammy: Why did he betray me? Why?
Suddenly there was a knock at the door
Tammy answered it
Call Girl: Where is Kenny?
Tammy: Fuck off!
Call Girl: Whoah! Easy girl
Tammy: You want to kiss him in his Mysterion outfit don't you?
Call Girl: No! I have a boyfriend he (Sniff) put in the hospital
Call Girl started crying
Tammy: Well, you wanna know where Mysterion is. He's staying at the Stevens'
Call Girl: Bebe. Oh of course, she's always fantasised sleeping with Mysterion
Tammy: Make him pay
Call Girl: I will
Tammy closed the door and continued crying
Stevens residence
Mysterion was brooding
Bebe: You've been brooding for 5 hours
Mysterion: Thank you I've noticed
Bebe: You should eat you know?
Mysterion: I know
Bebe: It's about Tammy isn't it?
Mysterion: Yeah
Bebe: Well I hope you two don't break up, you two deserve each other
Mysterion: Thanks Bebe
Suddenly bright flashes of light appeared
Yates: Mysterion! We have you surrounded
They look outside to see the cops surrounding the Stevens and Yates had a megaphone
Yates: Well technically we have the front yard surrounded
Mysterion: I need to get out of here!
Bebe: What if they do have the backyard surrounded and they're just trying to lead you into a trap?
Mysterion: That's why I'm escaping through the basement
Yates: We're gonna give you 30 seconds to exit the house or we'll open fire
Mysterion: Bebe get out of here
Bebe: How did they find us?
Mysterion: I don't know!
Bebe: Well if my house gets destroyed. You're dead
Mysterion: I wish
Bebe ran out of her room
Yates: You now have 25 seconds
Mitch: Wasn't it 30 seconds 24 seconds ago?
Yates: Do not question my authority?! You now have 3-2-1 seconds! Fire
The police start firing at the house
Mysterion tried to avoid the ricochet of bullets
But a bullet hits him in his back
Mysterion: Ahhh! I wish it was the head
Mysterion escaped through the basement still bleeding
Meanwhile
Yates: Keep firing
Suddenly a cop showed up with a bazooka and fired it, destroying the Stevens' house
Yates: What's your name, Oh wait I know! Officer Asshole! What the fuck are you doing with a bazooka?
Cop: Sorry sir. Some crazy kid gave it to me
Yates: Who?
Meanwhile
Mysterion was running as fast as he could still bleeding from his back
He collapsed until he was picked up by a mysterious shadow
Kenny later woke up on somebody's bed wearing a band aid on his back
Kenny: Where am I?
A door opened and Tammy entered
Tammy: Ken!
Tammy ran up to Kenny and hugged him
Kenny: Ow! My fucking back
Tammy: Sorry
Kenny: Did you save my life?
Tammy: Well I kind of did
Kelly entered
Kelly: That was the signal to come in right?
Tammy: Yeah
Kenny: Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah. I saw you unconscious and bleeding. And took you the nearest house. Which turned out to be hers
Tammy: Yeah. Removing the bullet wasn't easy. I just poured the vodka on the wound and used some tweezers to remove it. And we snitched the wound up and gave you a band aid
Kenny: How the fuck did I sleep through that?
Tammy: I was scared you were gonna die
Tammy continued hugging Kenny
Kelly: You need to rest. The cops are still looking for you and so are your friends
Kenny: Tammy, you don't think I did it did you?
Tammy: I don't know Ken. I mean I still love you
Kenny: I love you too
Kelly: It's nice you two sorted things out. So Benny, you over me?
Kenny: I think so
Kelly: Oh good. You two do deserve each other
Kenny: Thanks
Kelly left the house
Kenny: Hey Tammy, did you know what either you or Kelly did to my Mysterion costume?
Tammy: I think it's over there
Tammy grabbed a cape
Tammy: We did clean it
Kenny: Wait a minute. That's not mine
Tammy: What?
Kenny: It's too dark. It must belong to you
Tammy: That isn't mine
Kenny: Wait a minute
Kenny got out of a bed
Tammy: Take it easy Ken
Kenny: I think I know who's taking out my friends
Kenny stood still thinking and came to a realisation
Kenny: No fucking way!
Minutes later
Kenny was in his Mysterion costume
Tammy: Ken I forbid you to leave
Mysterion: I have to stop Kelly. She's the one hurting my friends
Tammy: This seems like a hard accusation. You sure it's not my blanket
Mysterion: It doesn't even feel like a blanket, feels like a cape
Tammy: Ken wait. What if I don't see you again?
Mysterion: Trust me you will
Mysterion suddenly used his grappling hook to hang upside-down from the ceiling
Tammy: What are you doing Ken?
Mysterion: Something I've always wanted to do with you if you ever found out my secret identity
Tammy: What?
Mysterion: Does this situation seem familiar?
Tammy stood to think for a good couple of seconds when she realised what Kenny wanted
Tammy: Oh. I think I know
Tammy walked up to Mysterion, held his head gently and kissed him on the lips
They kissed each other for about 30 seconds, before stopping
Mysterion detached himself from the ceiling
Mysterion: I'll catch ya later babe
Mysterion ran off to find Kelly
Abandoned carnival
Kelly entered the carnival alone
She looked around for a bit
Until she heard sinister laughter
Scott Tenorman came out of the shadows still wearing makeup similar to Mark Hamill's Joker
Scott: What is it?
Kelly: Anyone else you want me to beat the living shit out of Lenny's friends?
Scott: No. My little brother is all I need
The Coon was tied to a chair on the edge of a pool of sharks
The Coon: You bitch! You're working with this asshole
Scott: I'm gonna feed you to sharks Eric. I'm gonna tie you to this chain and it'll slowly descend you into the pool
The Coon: I have two questions. 1. Why do you wanna kill me? I thought your whole goal was to humiliate me and 2. Why do you wanna slowly descend me into a pool of sharks instead of killing me?
Scott: To answer question 1, ever since you showed me that packet of chilli. It gave me a panic attack and that panic attack drove me insane
The Coon: So that's why you're dressed like Twisty The Clown from American Horror Story
Scott: I am The Joker! So ever since you did that, it has been my dream to kill you. And to answer question 2, I just wanna hear you screaming before you die
The Coon: No! I haven't achieved my goals. I haven't gained a million dollars and I haven't started a billion dollar franchise. I wanna do so much before I die
Suddenly somebody threw fire crackers
And somebody knocked over Scott
It was Mysterion
Kelly tried to run away
Mysterion: Don't you dare run away
Kelly: Alright, I assume you wanna know why I did this
Mysterion: Well you've read my mind
Kelly: Well, my parents were killed by a clown dressed like Ronald McDonald and Scott said he'd reveal the clowns identity if I helped him out with a few tasks. And he gave me this cloak to complete his acts. He wanted Cartman to come to him for help. So he asked me to take out Professor Chaos and I did. Unintentionally framing you. But when Stan was getting suspicious, Scott told me to take him out. Scott also told me of The Freedom Pals most powerful member, Mint-Berry Crunch. So I asked him out on a date so I could learn his weakness. Which is what I did and took him out. After The Coon came to Scott, I decided to tell you. But I didn't realise the police were on your ass until they start destroying Bebe's house and I saw you bleeding pretty bad. So I decided to take you to Tammy's house and-
Mysterion: I think I know the last part
The Coon: Hey assholes! Help!
Scott was dragging The Coon away
Mysterion: I'm coming Coon
Kelly: Wait. I've told the police that Scott framed you
Mysterion: Why didn't you turn yourself in?
Kelly: Because I'm young and I don't wanna go to prison
Mysterion ran off to chase Scott
A few minutes later, Mysterion found Scott on top of a Ferris wheel along with The Coon and grappled up to arrest him
Scott was holding The Coon over the edge
The Coon: Don't say "Let him go" don't say "Let him go" don't say-
Mysterion: Let him go
The Coon: Fuck you Mysterion!
Scott: Very shit choice of words
Scott let go of The Coon, Mysterion was about to rescue him until he got shot by Scott
Mysterion: Fuck!
Scott: Yes! I have had my revenge! My little brothers dead for good!
Mysterion: There's one thing you didn't realise Scott
Scott: What?
Mysterion: I didn't hear a thud
Scott: Huh?
Scott looked over the ferris wheel to see nothing on the ground
Scott: What the?
Mysterion than kicked Scott
Scott was falling until a cable grabbed him
Mysterion used the cable to tie him onto the ferris wheel
Mysterion: You're going to jail for a long time Scott
Scott: I suppose so. But there's one thing I didn't tell you nor Kelly
Mysterion: What?
Scott: I killed Kelly's parents
Mysterion: For what reason?
Scott: I was high on LSD and I did it for shits and giggles. Well now I'm going to prison, but I'll be out again and I will have my revenge on Eric again and-
Suddenly the cable snapped and Scott Tenorman fell to his death
Mysterion looked over to see Kelly holding a throwing star
Mysterion: How the fuck did she hear that?
Kelly than gave Mysterion a nod and disappeared whilst Mysterion succumbed to his wounds and died
The next day
Kenny was walking through the school hallway after being resurrected the 100th time
Kenny than noticed that Stan was back
Stan: Hey Kenny
Kenny: Oh hi Stan. You still believe I did it
Stan: No. Cartman told me that it was your ex girlfriend and he told me you got shot, how did those wounds heal so fast?
Kenny sighed
Kenny: So does Wendy know you back?
Stan: I don't know, I told Kyle to tell her. I guess he for-
Suddenly Wendy grabbed Stan and hugged him
Wendy had tears in her eyes
Wendy: Thank god you're ok
Stan: It's ok. I'm here now
Stan and Wendy kissed each other
Kenny: Well I'm glad things are back to normal
Butters walked past using crutches
Kenny: Hey Butters
Butters screamed and tried to move as fast as he could