Well, first of all, I'm sorry for how long I spent without updating this story. I really have no excuses. But I promise you, it's not abandoned. Second, I wanted this chapter to have the conversation between Jaime and Dany but it didn't turn out this way. So next chapter, it will be another Dany POV, this time with Jaime in it. So you will have to wait two chapters and not one for the chapter with JON's POV. Also, remember that Dany right now has a lot of resentment towards Jon (and she has her reasons for it), but so does Jon for her. And yes, the throne is still her number one priority right now, because that's Dany of season8. But the characters have still a long way to go. Hope you like it, tell me what you think.
Chapter 4
Pale morning light greeted her eyes when she woke up, the rays of sunlight peeking through white clouds. She had slept through the night, something that was happening more and more rarely as of late. Maybe the merit could be attributed to the large amount of wine she had imbibed last night. She rather not think about the strange conversation she had with Jaime Lannister, since she had no idea what could have prompted her to even decide to speak with the man who killed her father.
The ground and the roofs outside were covered in yet another veil of snow, which would have made for a pretty sight if she had felt remotely welcome there. Since she wasn't, the snow was yet another reminder that she didn't belong in this place.
She had visited many places in the world, and many of those in Essos hadn't always be welcoming to her, oftentimes it was in fact the opposite, and yet, the North was perhaps the most hostile place she had ever set foot in.
Daenerys was fire made flesh, just like her children, and the cold was snuffing it out. She needed to leave soon, or risking losing even more of herself that she already did.
She was forgetting who she was. The more she stayed there, in this harsh place, and the more she was losing that faith in herself that had made her survive and thrive in the face of every single thing she had ever gone through. Cersei wasn't winning because she was smarter, better than her, but because Daenerys herself hadn't been Daenerys Targaryen since she had set foot in Westeros.
What had Olenna Tyrell told her? 'You're a dragon. Be a dragon.' She hadn't been a dragon since she arrived in Westeros, only a pale imitation of it. And why was that? It was simple now, understanding why. She had been afraid. Afraid of being who she really was because she had thought people wouldn't welcome her. But they hadn't welcomed her anyway, they hadn't accepted her anyway. At least, not here. And the allies she had, she had lost because she listened to others instead of relying on herself like she had always done.
She had trusted Tyrion and he had failed her. She had trusted Jon Snow and he had failed her. But no more. Her people needed her, relayed on her and she had failed them. Half her armies were gone. One of her children was gone. Her oldest friend and protector, gone. She wasn't going to lose anyone else. And her enemies would regret the day they ever thought to fight against her.
'I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. I'm the Blood of the Dragon, descendant of Aegon the Conqueror and his sister wives, Visenya and Rhaenys. And I will take what is mine with Fire and Blood.'
She will take the Iron Throne and rule Westeros, Jon Snow or anyone else be damned. She was the one that fought and bled and lost for it, and for what? For nothing? To leave it to someone who didn't even want it? Just because he was a man? No. Jon Snow had no more right than she had to the Iron Throne. Was the marriage between Rhaegar and Lyanna even valid anyway? Would people just accept the fact that Rhaegar had annulled a perfectly valid marriage with a Princess of Dorne that had given him two children to marry a woman in secret, and whose witnesses to it were all dead, as legitimate? Dorne certainly wouldn't. They would see Jon Snow's mere existence as an insult, an affront. And really, the only proof of the marriage was Samwell Tarly's and Bran Stark's word and a journal. The fact that Jon rode a dragon was proof that he was Rhaegar's son, but there was nothing to prove that he was a legitimate one, especially if the journal were to just…disappear? Samwell Tarly and Bran Stark's word wouldn't be enough, at that point, to prove that Jon was really Aegon Targaryen.
She shook her head at her thoughts and yet…would it really be so awful? She had begged Jon to not tell anything to anyone, and yet, he hadn't listened to her. She was his queen, as he liked so much to repeat, and yet, he had disobeyed her. She needed to defend herself. Jon Snow might not realize what such information could do in the hands of those that would seek to use it to their own gains, but she did. It was a death sentence for her, unless she took control of the situation and do some damage control of her own.
The truth of Jon Snow's parentage could harm her only if she let it. And there were ways to manipulate the truth to her advantage.
Maybe it was wrong of her to do so, but what other choice did she have? Jon wasn't leaving her any. He had chosen his loyalty to his family, to the North, and his identity as a Stark over his loyalty to her and his identity as a Targaryen. He had rejected his identity as a Targaryen when he had rejected her.
Targaryens answered to neither gods nor men, and yet Jon was crumbling under everyone's else expectations and believes of what and who he should be.
So be it. She was done begging and pleading. She was done pining after someone that maybe still wanted her but didn't love her enough to choose her.
She was his Queen, so that was what she was going to be from now on, nothing more, nothing less. And he was going to be only her Warden of the North. They weren't lovers, they weren't family. They were barely allies at this point. They were nothing to each other. That was what he wanted so that was what he would get.
A knock at the door of her solar, which was connected to the private chambers assigned to her at Winterfell, shook her out of her less than cheerful thoughts. One of her unsullied guard assigned to protect her chambers told her it was her Hand, wanting an audience with her. Daenerys gave her consent for him to enter and Tyrion did, a few moments later, looking contrite like she hadn't seen him in a while.
Daenerys was getting rather tired of his apologies, especially because they were empty ones, since Tyrion kept messing things up over and over. This time though, she had no idea what he could have done to cause even more damage since she had seen him last, which was just yesterday night, at the feast, when he had been his usual loquacious, drunk self.
"Your Grace," he said, bowing low, "forgive me for this unexpected visit but there's something I would like to discuss with you."
"Very well. Let's sit, then. Should I expect more bad news? It seems like it's becoming the norm with you."
Tyrion sat, his gaze lowered to the ground. Then, when Daenerys had sat as well, he took a deep breath and stared directly into her eyes. "I owe you an apology."
"What have you done this time, Tyrion?" Daenerys asked him, raising an eyebrow at him and crossing her arms over her chest.
"No, no. It's not what you think. I didn't do anything…new, that's it. I apologize for every mistake I made since we arrived in Westeros. You gave me your trust, you believed in me, you named me your Hand, and I failed you. And instead of trying to make amends sooner, I started to blame you for it. I started doubting you. And it's not fair to you, because you are as you ever were. And you're still the Queen I chose. Now and always."
Daenerys absorbed Tyrion's words, feeling surprised at the unexpected apologize. "All right. I accept your apology." She couldn't tell him that she forgave him because she wasn't sure she could, not right now at the very least. "What brought this on?"
"I talked to Jaime this morning. And it seems you made an impression on him, not that I'm surprised."
"Your brother? What has your brother got to do with anything?"
"He told me that you two talked last night. And he pointed out some rather obvious things that I was blind or too stubborn to accept." Tyrion explained, "in fact, now that I'm at it, I'm really sorry about ser Jorah. He was a good man, brave and loyal. And I know you cared deeply for him. But I know he died the way he would have wanted, protecting you."
"You're the second person who tells me that, as if it makes it any easier. He's dead, because of me. My men are dead, because I dragged them here, to defend this horrible place, filled with ungrateful people who treat their allies worst than their enemies. My child died, and then was made a slave, and then died again. I don't need empty platitudes Tyrion. What I need is a plan to take my throne. An effective one this time."
"Forgive me, you're right. It's also why I'm here. You made a mistake, giving me the role of military strategist."
"Clearly." Daenerys said, perfectly serious.
Tyrion nodded. "Yes, as we both have plenty of proof about, I'm awful at planning wars. But…there's someone here in Winterfell who is a good military strategist and he could be the one to help you win this war."
"If you're talking about Jon Snow…"
"I'm not talking about Jon Snow. I'm talking about Jaime."
"Jaime? Need I remind you that he killed my father? Even if I know why he did it, it doesn't make it very easy to even being in the same room with him. When I look at him, all I see is my horrible childhood. Starving, begging on the streets, running from assassins, being raised by my abusive brother. And I know, rationally, that it's not fair, because if there's someone to blame for what happened, is my brother Rhaegar, beside the Usurper, your father and mine, of course. If that weren't bad enough, he's in love with Cersei. And I plan on executing Cersei, you know that, right? He would never betray her. And I could never trust him because of it."
Tyrion nodded. "All valid and understandable reasons. But, if Jaime was still as loyal to Cersei as you believe him to be, he would have never come here. But he did. He could have left, go back to Cersei, the moment the war with the dead was over. But he didn't. He's still here. He also told me that he plans on helping you take the throne. He's on your side, Daenerys. And my brother is a lot of things, but he's not a liar."
"Why would he do that?"
"Because he saw what millions of other people have seen in you. A leader worth following. A queen who is a queen, not because her father happened to be a king, but because of her actions. You inspire people to follow you, Daenerys. That's just who you are."
"It doesn't seem to be working very well in Westeros."
Tyrion waved his little hand in the air like he was driving away a fly. "That's just the North. They're cold people who don't trust outsiders. The fact that you're the mad king's daughter doesn't help. Sansa Stark being openly hostile to you and Jon Snow doing nothing about it doesn't help either.
"But, luckily for us, the North is the least populous kingdom in Westeros. And, willing or not, they will follow Jon Snow and they will fight for you. You will have time to show them who you really are once you're Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. They will see you for the Queen you are, eventually. Even if it takes decades for you to do it. And even if we lost Olenna Tyrell, most Houses in the Reach will still follow you, we just need to ask. Dorne will follow you as well.
"Now that you named Gendry Lord of the Stormlands, I'm sure we'll manage to find some Stormlands' Houses willing to fight for you. The houses sworn to Dragonstone will fight for you without a doubt. Yara Greyjoy is still your ally. Some houses in the Riverlands could decide to follow you, maybe even Edmure Tully."
"Isn't he the Starks' uncle? Catelyn Stark's brother? Why would he want to follow me if his nieces and nephew hate me?"
"Because Edmure Tully is still a prisoner of the Lannisters. If my brother grants him his freedom, and makes sure to tell him that he's free because he's following your orders…especially if the Starks, after taking Winterfell back, didn't bother to help him in anyway, after the Riverlands fought and died for Robb Stark. I don't think Edmure Tully is very happy with the Starks right now. And most of the Lannister army fights for my brother, not Cersei. With him on your side, a lot of Lannister soldiers could change sides."
"But that depends on me putting my trust in Jaime Lannister. And I don't know if I can do that."
"I know. And I know that I can't ask you to trust me either, not after the many times I failed you. But when we first met in Meereen, you didn't know if you could trust me either but we sat down to talk and you realized that I was telling the truth.
"That's just what I ask. Talk to him, you'll realize he's being sincere. Trust your instincts Daenerys. Other people might have failed you, betrayed you, but your instincts never did. Or am I wrong? You brought dragons back into the world after everyone else was convinced it was impossible. You gained the loyalty of the Dothraki. You freed all the slaves in Slaver's Bay…pardon me, Dragons' Bay. And now you're here, in Westeros, after everyone was convinced no Targaryen would ever set foot in Westeros again.
"Jon Snow was right when he said that you make impossible things happen. I guess I had forgotten that, but no more. I believe in you, Daenerys. And, strangest thing of all, Jaime does as well. Talk to him and you'll see for yourself. The man who killed your father is now on your side. Trusting him seems impossible, I know. But, after all, what's another impossible thing for you?"
Daenerys was surprised by Tyrion's impassioned speech. It had been a while since Tyrion had looked at her with faith, belief, in his eyes. But she could see it now. And yet, it wasn't enough. She needed something else for him first.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Tyrion asked, not understanding the question.
"Why did you fail me? It's more than the fact that you're awful at planning wars. I just need you to tell me the real reason."
Tyrion shrugged, bitterness in his voice. "Because, no matter how much I believe in you, as much as I want for you to become Queen, I'm still a Lannister. As much as my father wished it weren't so, or my sister. That is what I am and I can't change it. I said once that I never bet against my family. And yet, that's exactly what I've been doing since before I arrived in Meereen. I killed my father, and I'm partly responsible for Tommen and Myrcella's deaths. I even became allies with the ones responsible for my niece's death. And now I'm helping you take down Cersei. And watching you going against Jaime, against the Lannister army, I realized that I was betraying my own blood. I'm loyal to you, I am, but I feel guilty for being loyal to you. Because I'm helping you destroying my own family. That is why Cersei managed to fool me."
Daenerys sighed. She knew, she had always known. But it was liberating, having Tyrion finally admitting it.
"I can't understand how difficult it must be for you." Daenerys said, and she was being completely honest. "But I can't have you in my council if your loyalties are torn. So, look me in the eye and tell me, once and for all, that you're with me, or give me your Hand pin back and walk away now. I promise you, I won't punish you for it."
Tyrion rose from his chair to kneel in front of her, just like he had done all those moons back in Meereen.
"I choose you, Daenerys. I did the moment I knocked on your door this morning. No matter what happens with Jaime or my sister. From now on, you have my complete loyalty, I promise you."
Daenerys nodded. "I'm trusting you, Tyrion and I forgive you, for all your mistakes. But if you betray me, this time…I will have no mercy. Do you understand?"
Tyrion rose once again. "I do. And if I do betray you, I will gladly stand in front of Drogon to be burnt alive. You're the first person who really believed in me, who gave me a chance. And how did I repay you? No more. I promise you, you won't regret it this time, my Queen."
"Good. Then, I suppose, I should talk to your brother. Let's see what he has to say."