Lucifer Rules

Author's Note: Thought this would be funny. I don't own Lucifer. Please read and review.

1. Do not bitch slap Cain and then blame it on Abel.

2. Do not have a three way with Lucifer and a chicken.

3. Do not poke the Maze.

4. Do not turn Lucifer into a girl.

5. Do not shave Lucifer completely bald.

6. Do not eat Adam's apple.

7. Go ahead and punch Amenadiel in the face. No seriously, go ahead.

8. Do not buy Lucifer a pet parrot.

9. Do not kidnap Chloe.

10. Do not throw a quinceanera at Lux.

11. Do not piss off Maze.

12. Do not push Pierce off a cliff.

13. Do not draw a mustache on Chloe.

14. Do not shave Chloe bald and then blame it on Lucifer.

15. Do not make out with Amenadiel in front of Maze.

16. Do not "Thriller" dance with Lucifer and some demons.

17. Do not try to have sex with Lucifer.

18. Do not replace Lucifer's bed with a water bed.

19. Do not have a drinking contest with Detective Douche

20. Do not lick Maze's face.

21. Do not let Maze babysit your pet.

22. Do not let Maze babysit your child.

23. Do not strap Maze into a wheelchair.

24. Do not send Lucifer into the insane asylum.

25. Do not dance naked in front of Amenadiel.

26. Do not jump off the roof of Lux.

27. Do not get Lucifer sick.

28. Do not spit in Lucifer's eye.

29. Do not throw up on Lucifer's piano.

30. Do not steal Dr. Linda's glasses.

31. Do not dye Dr. Linda's hair black.

32. Do not bedazzle Lucifer's suit.

33. Do not dye all of Lucifer's clothing pink.

34. Do not hypnotize Amenadiel to sing "Barbie Girl"

35. Do not get Lucifer a dog or cat.

36. Do not get Lucifer wet or feed him after midnight.

37. Do not switch out Lucifer's lubricant with super glue.

38. Do not steal Lucifer's car.

39. Do not burn Lucifer's clothing.

40. Do not throw a house party in hell.

41. Do not force Trixie to do a calculus problem.

42. Do not insult Lucifer in pig latin.

43. Do not shove a clock in Amenadiel's butt.

44. Do not pour trash onto Lucifer's head.

45. Do not play Disturbed in hell.

46. Do not cover Detective Douche in peanut butter.

47. Do not claim that you can turn Lucifer into a vampire.

48. Do not flood Lux with strippers.

49. Do not get Amenadiel drunk.

50. Do not stare into Lucifer's eyes.

51. Party when you want to.

Author's Note: So thoughts? Please no flames. Thanks for reading! 8D!