He's beautiful, isn't he?

He has those big, wonderful eyes that can look through a person and into their heart. His skin is so soft, so smooth, his hair so touchable. I get weak in the knees just thinking about his hair. And his hands...so large, but so amazingly gentle.

I know that I'm just being a stupid girl, but something about him makes me think I'm in love. He knows when to speak out, and keep silent. I love that. I love everything about him.

I like watching him when he sleeps. Is that odd? I don't think it is. I adore the way he breathes as he sleeps, his limbs heavy with weariness. He works so hard during the day, he really does. His eyelids flutter as he dreams, his nostrils wonderfully round as they flare with each intaken breath.

When his arm is around my waist, I feel so safe. He really cares for me, I can tell whenever he watches me beneath his lashes. Such thick, lovely eyelashes, hiding those beautiful eyes beneath them.

Only this morning, he held my hand before we went off to work. Gripping it gently with his own, he looked into my eyes and said, "Sarah, be careful." Just like that. He cares so much for me. As if going to work could in some way endanger me! But that's him for you Always cautious, always caring.

I'm getting all flustered now, I have to calm down. I have to stop thinking about him. My face is so brightly flushed! Think of rainbows and sunsets, of the rain falling pleasantly against warm brown cobblestones. Think of silly things, things that can take me away from this.

To love is not the same as to be obsessed.

Right?

There is nothing wrong with loving someone. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a boy's company, and wanting to kiss him.

There is nothing wrong with being in love with my brother.

Right?

Nothing wrong at all.

Somehow, even though I can say those words aloud, I know that they are not true.

I should not feel this way for David. It is wrong.

But I can't stop loving him. I can't stop feeling like fainting every time he smiles at me in that way of his.

I am a normal teenage girl, in love with a boy.

A boy who is my brother.

This is so wrong.

This goes against the Bible. This goes against my parents. This goes against everything I believe in.

But when he smiles at me, he makes it right. He makes it so impossibly correct that I can't imagine loving any other person. David is my soulmate. David is my life.

David is my love.

There is nothing wrong with that.

Even though in my heart I know that it is terrible. Even though I may burn in Hell for it.

Because his eyes are so blue, and his smile is so kind. He is so warm, so gentle, so caring.

I am Sarah Ann Jacobs.

I am in love.

Is that so wrong?