KOTLC REACT
Fitz: *picks up book* what is this?
Dex: I'm on the cover!
Sophie: What is it?
Fitz: It's about you. Can I read it?
Sophie: Wait, is it from my perspective –
Fitz: WHAAAAAAT?! I mean I know we settled this thing a while ago but THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT ME IS ADORABLE!
Keefe: What? WHAT DOES SHE SAY?
Fitz: *reading aloud* …and by far the cutest boy she'd ever seen – so why was he talking to her?
Everyone but Sophie: *bends over laughing*
Fitz: This is plain amazing. I mean, Sophie told me she liked me, but I don't think I really grasped what she meant till I read this book.
Sophie: Okay can we stop talking about this?
Fitz: Nope. Does your heart really flutter like that when you see me?
Sophie: *face looks like a tomato*
Fitz: That's a yes! I love how your favorite color is my eye color…
Keefe: Ahhh, so he figured it out.
Sophie: NEXT BOOK PLEASE!
Fitz: It's a series!
Sophie: *groans*
Fitz: *reads entire book. Later…*
Fitz: Sophie, I'm… well, seeing things from your perspective really changes things.
Sophie: Is it the crush thing again?
Fitz: I continue to enjoy that. But no. It's… how I was like, such a jerk to you before you healed dad's mind. I like, I said I was sorry afterwards, but knowing how you really felt makes me feel really bad.
Sophie: Okay now…
Biana: OMG OMG OMG OMG
Sophie: What
Biana: OMG so humans have this thing called social media –
Sophie: I know…
Biana: PEOPLE HAVE SHIPS WITH USSSSSS!
Sophie: Uh-oh.
Biana: My faaaaaaavorite is Sophitz.
Sophie and Fitz: here we go…
Biana: There's also a Sokeefe and a Sodex and a… OKAY WHAT IDIOT SHIPS SOPHAM?
Sophie: Okay that never even crossed my mind.
Keefe: And I did?
Dex: And I did?
Sophie: Actually, Fitz did and that's IT. Now please…
Biana: These are… me…
Keefe: *grabs human device* Okay! Tiana… HAHAHAHA! YES! Deana… okay, is it bad that I really disagree?
Dex: Um.
Keefe: Next is… oh…
Dex: *takes it* Keana!
Sophie: OMG YES! That's perfect.
Biana: Um…
Keefe: …Wow, I'm speechless! Some people actually think Foster isn't my perfect match!
Fitz: I'M her perfect match.
Sophie: Fitz, I gotta tell you something…
Dex: WHATEVER! I just found something I can tease KEEFE about and not the other way around!
Keefe: What, do you seriously…
Biana: Is it okay with you?
Keefe: SERIOUSLY you like me BACK? Wait did I just…
Sophie: You guys are perfect!
Dex: Oh and here's Linh's ships. Oh, Wylinh's a thing.
Linh: I barely even know him. What the heck?
Dex: People ship… okay. That's a bad ship name.
Everyone else: WHAT IS?
Dex: Kenh is. And it's a bad ship too.
Linh: Ewww I don't like Keefe! I mean as anything more than a friend.
Biana: Besides, as of two minutes ago, he's TAKEN. Next!
Dex: And… wow. Flinh might be worse than Kenh.
Fitz: WHAT THE HECK?
Sophie: Not happening.
Fitz: Nope.
Sophie: He's taken. Next?
Dex: Umm…..
Keefe: This is the part where someone takes the device and reads out loud that someone ships Denh!
Dex: How did you…
Keefe: Because this has taken a consistent pattern.
Linh: That's not terrible, actually.
Dex: Really?
Linh: Unless you think it's terrible.
Dex: I don't know, I just always liked Sophie better…
Sophie: THIS AGAIN? We read the books remember book six which documents the worst conversation ever?!
Dex: Okay okay! Well Biana was next…
Biana: Why am I always second choice?
Keefe: Because Foster's always first.
Dex: …and Linh was third.
Linh: Well, I was into Fitz.
Fitz: REALLY?
Sophie: Uh, Fitz…
Fitz: I don't meant that. I mean… WHY IS EVERY GIRL INTO ME?
Keefe: You never noticed?
Fitz: No.
Sophie: That explains why you were so afraid to admit your crush on me! You didn't know I liked you back! It should have been a given!
Biana: Honestly that's what I told him.
Linh: …aaaaaand ever since Sophie and Fitz have been dating –
Sophie and Fitz: Word choice!
Linh: -sorry. What do you want me to say?
Fitz: No clue. Just keep going!
Linh: Anyway I thought maybe since Sophie had rejected Dex maybe I could –
Dex: Okay. This ship thing is getting awkward.
Linh: Is it okay with you?
Dex: Well, yeah, I said I was into you!
Sophie: I bet people who ship it probably imagine your guys' conversations being about as awkward.
Dex and Linh: How do you know?
Sophie: Because I kind of agree with them.
Dex: Okay. Can we talk about something else?
Biana: How about Flashback? I just read Flashback and I am dying after those adorable moments between Sophie and Fitz!
Sophie: Those are on paper?
Fitz: Uh – oh…
Keefe: I'M READING FLASHBACK!
Fitz and Sophie: WHAT NO-
Keefe: *is gone*
Biana: But the ending… *frowns* Sophie do you have something to tell Fitz?
Sophie: Yeah, uh… is it the matchmaking thing?
Biana: *nods*
Fitz: What are you not going to register?
Sophie: No, I did register.
Fitz: YES!
Biana: Hear her out.
Sophie: I tried to register, at least. But without my real parents, it says I'm unmatchable.
Fitz: I just died inside.
Sophie: I figured.
Biana: Buuuuuuuuut when we get her real parents' names, it will all work out!
Fitz: Hopefully.
Dex: Awww, does this make you guys Hopefuls?
Sophie: Ugh I keep forgetting we're not alone!
Keefe: *snickers from another room*
Sophie: WHAT?
Keefe: CAN I READ THIS ALOUD?
Sophie: WHAT IS IT?
Keefe: Okay. So, here goes… "And his cheeks… they were flushed. And he'd said, he'd said… I want it to be you. It took her a second to realize he'd said it again."
Fitz: Oh no.
Sophie: Keefe stop…
~Later after we skip the most embarrassing moment of Sophie's and Fitz's lives~
Biana: Awwww my favorite!
Dex: What?
Sophie: Dex do you have something to say?
Dex: Besides the fact that I'm dying after all these books about your crushes being centered on Fitz? No.
Sophie: Dex…
Dex: Yeah, I know. We're "just friends".
Sophie: We are!
Dex: Shut up.
Fitz: I thought we'd settled this… wait. SOPHIE I JUST REAIZED.
Sophie: What?
Fitz: YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR FIRST KISS.
Sophie: Oh.
Fitz: AND I HAVEN'T.
Sophie: I always imagined it would be with you but…
Keefe: What's a meatball?
Tam: Oh no. He found a recipe.
Sophie: You guys wouldn't eat it. It may or may not be made of stuff you guys are strongly against easting.
Fitz: Like, say, MEAT! It's called a MEATBALL KEEFE!
Keefe: Well I was just checking! What's a hamburger?
Sophie: Also meat.
Keefe: Chicken?
Sophie: What it sounds like.
Keefe: I had to check! Sloppy joes?
Sophie: Also meat.
Keefe: DO HUMANS EAT ANYTHING NON MEAT RELATED?
Sophie: Yeah. Like spaghetti and pizza-that-doesn't-have-pepperoni – wait area you guys just vegetarian or vegan?
Fitz: What's the difference?
Sophie: A vegetarian might eat cheese or honey…
Fitz: Yeah it's all good as long as nothing died.
Sophie: Right. The "timeline to extinction".
Keefe: Anyway what else?
Sophie: Salad is just a bunch of vegetables and we eat fruit and stuff. And our vegetables aren't slimy and gross. Gnomish produce tastes good, but… it looks disgusting.
Fitz: It's a culture thing Sophie. You grew up with Salami so…
Sophie: Salad, you mean. Salami is more meat.
Linh: Ugh.
~Aaaaand they kept doing that but the documented portion is over~