DOOR TO GYMNASIUM: THE TWO MEN ARE STILL STANDING GUARD. ONE OF THEM YAWNS.
MAN #1: This is so creepy. Chef should be back by now.
AT THE OTHER END OF THE HALLWAY, THEY SEE DARTH CHEF STANDING THERE.
MAN #2: Ah, Chef. There you are. We thought you weren't returning.
DARTH CHEF ACTIVATES HIS GLOWING RED SPATULA. THE MEN REALISE THAT HE'S NO LONGER ONE OF THEM.
MAN #1: Holy Shit! Fire!
THE TWO MEN FIRE AT CHEF. HOWEVER, HE DEFLECTS THE BULLETS, WHICH DENT THE FLOOR AND RICOCHET OFF THE LOCKERS. THEY RUN OUT OF AMMO, AND SO GET OUT THEIR MACHETES, BUT THEY'RE TOO LATE, AND BEFORE THEY KNOW IT, DARTH CHEF SLICES THEM. BLOOD SPLATTERS ONTO THE LOCKERS. HE OPENS THE GYMNASIUM.
GYMNASIUM: CONNELY IS PINNING SALLY TO THE FLOOR WHEN CHEF BURSTS THROUGH. CONNELY LOOKS AT HIM.
CONNELY: Chef, you're back. How was the search? Successful?
DARTH CHEF DOESN'T REPLY; HE ACTIVATES HIS SPATULA AGAIN, AND STABS A MEMBER IN THE BACK. THE OTHER MEN TAKE OUT THEIR WEAPONS AND OPEN FIRE. THEY'RE SO FOCUSED ON DARTH CHEF, THEY DON'T SEE STAN, KYLE, CARTMAN AND KENNY ESCORTING ALL THE STUDENTS OUT.
STAN: C'mon everyone! We have to go!
DARTH CHEF KILLS THE LAST MEMBER, BUT CONNELY ESCAPES.
CONNELY: You'll never stop me from molesting children! You'll never damage our name! I have a flight to catch!
DARTH CHEF PURSUES HIM; JUST AS THE LAST STUDENTS FLEE, STAN, KYLE, CARTMAN AND KENNY FOLLOW CHEF TO THE ROOFTOP.
LOLA: Kenny! Come Back! I (Kenny is long gone)…. Love you.
LOLA SIGHS AND CATCHES UP WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL.
Ext. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY: THE STUDENTS RUN OUT TO THEIR PARENTS, WHO EMBRACE THEM TIGHTLY. THE TEACHERS REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS.
MR. GARRISON: What happened? I feel giddy.
MR. ADLER: I hope no-one was screwing around while I was out cold.
SHARON, RANDY AND SHELLY ARE STILL WORRIED.
SHARON: Wendy, where's Stan?
WENDY: I think he's still in there Mrs. Marsh.
SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY ROOFTOP: CONNELY BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR AND WAITS FOR HIS HELICOPTER. AT THE DOOR, CHEF AND THE BOYS APPEAR. CHEF ACTIVATES HIS SPATULA.
CONNELY: Are you going to kill me Chef?
DARTH CHEF: I'd most certainly would like to. You're gonna pay for everything you did to me…. In blood.
CONNELY: Not if I kill you first.
CONNELY REACHES FOR HIS CANE; HE BRANDISHES A KATANA. HE AND CHEF FACE EACH OTHER.
DARTH CHEF: Boys, get down.
CONNELY CHARGES AT CHEF, BUT HE DEFLECTS THE BLOW WITH HIS SPATULA. THE BOYS WATCH AS CHEF AND CONNELY DUEL.
BACK ON THE GROUND.
MIDGET-IN-A-BIKINI: We've just receive an update. Apparently, the leader of the child molesters and someone in a Darth Vader suit are fighting on the roof. And that all the kids that were held hostage, are free.
BACK ON THE ROOF, CHEF AND CONNELY ARE STILL FIGHTING. EVENTUALLY, CONNELY STUNS CHEF AND IMPALES HIM 3 INCHES INTO THE HIP.
CHEF: Ugh!
BLOOD STARTS TO LEAK OUT OF HIM. HE DROPS HIS SPATULA.
STAN, KYLE, CARTMAN AND KENNY: Chef!
CONNELY IS ABOUT TO DELIVER THE KILLING BLOW, WHEN CHEF GRABS HIM BY THE THROAT, AND DISARMS HIM. HE DANGLES CONNELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE ROOF, WITH THE PAVEMENT BENEATH HIM.
CONNELY: Do you really want to kill me Chef? You can continue travelling the world with me. You want to be free of this town, don't you?
STAN: Chef! Don't listen to him. He turned you into this! We're your friends. We've always been your friends!
CHEF EXPERIENCES FLASHBACKS. A MONTAGE SHOWS HIM AND THE BOYS IN OLD EPISODES, FROM THE ANAL PROBE, TO THE MONEY FOR CHEF CAMPAIGN, AND EVEN THE SUCCUBUS, AND THE SONG 'STINKY BRITCHES'. CHEF ENDS HIS FLASHBACK, AND HE'S FINALLY, COMPLETELY REDEEMED. HE GLARES AT CONNELY, THOUGH IT'S HARD TO TELL.
CONNELY: Well? What do you say? You gonna continue travelling the world?
DARTH CHEF: Y'know what Connely? You can suck on my Chocolate…. Salty…. Balls!
HE DROPS CONNELY. CONNELY SCREAMS AS HE FALLS TO HIS DEATH. HE HITS THE CONCRETE BELOW AND IS NOW A SPLATTERED MESS. CHEF LOOKS DOWN AT HIM, BREATHING HEAVILY. THE BOYS JOIN HIM.
CARTMAN: It's over now; it's just a traumatic memory.
Ext. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY: CHEF AND THE FOUR BOYS COME OUT OF THE DOOR. THE STUDENTS, PARENTS AND TEACHERS CHEER FOR CHEF. CHEF PUTS HIS ARMS UP IN VICTORY. SUDDENLY, HE GASPS COLLAPSES FORWARD.
CROWD: (Gasp)
THE BOYS LOOK AT THE WOUND; IT IS ALREADY INFECTED.
DARTH CHEF: Kyle! Take this mask off, so I can see you with my own eyes one last time.
KYLE: But Chef, you'll die.
DARTH CHEF: Nothing can stop that now.
AS TEARS FORM IN HIS EYES, KYLE REMOVES THE MASK. THE CROWD SEE CHEF UNMASKED. HE LOOKS AT THE FOUR BOYS.
CHEF: Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny? Promise me something: make love to your girls, then later, get married and start a family.
KYLE: We promise. And we have to get you medical attention! We've got to save you!
CHEF SMILES WEAKLY.
CHEF: You Already Have.
TAKING HIS LAST BREATH, CHEF CLOSES HIS EYES AND PASSES AWAY.
KYLE: Chef! No! No!
STAN: I'm sorry Dude. But this time, he really is dead.
(Scene is very similar to Vader's death at the end of 'Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi')
STAN, CARTMAN AND KENNY DRAG HIM AWAY FROM CHEF'S LIFELESS BODY. NEXT TO STAN, WENDY STARTS CRYING INTO STAN'S SHOULDERS, WHO HAS HIS ARMS AROUND HER. KAREN CRIES INTO KENNY. EVEN THE GOTH KIDS SHED A FEW TEARS.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA THEN GETS OUT A CANDLE AND A LIGHTER AND LIGHTS IT; THE REST OF THE FACULTY LIGHT CANDLES TOO. THE PARENTS AND STUDENTS ALSO LIGHT CANDLES AND RAISE THEM HIGH ABOVE THEIR HEADS, WHILE THE END THEME FROM 'METAL GEAR SOLID 3' PLAYS. (Similar to Dumbledore's funeral at the end of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince')
1 WEEK LATER
THE PARK: A WEEK HAS PASSED SINCE CHEF DIED, AND SO A STATUE HAS BEEN ERECTED IN HIS HONOR. TOKEN, JASON, CLYDE AND BRIDON ARE PLAYING BASKETBALL, WHILE YOUNGER KIDS ARE PLAYING ON THE PLAYGROUND.
KYLE AND BEBE ARE ON ONE OF THEIR USUAL DATES.
BEBE: So Kyle, when are you going to make your promise to Chef?
KYLE: Soon Bebe. In a few years.
THEY PASS BY CHEF'S STATUE.
KYLE: One moment.
HE WALKS UP TO THE STATUE. HE GETS OUT SOME FLOWERS AND LAYS THEM AT THE BASE OF THE STATUE. HE LOOKS UP AND SMILES.
KYLE: Don't worry Chef. I'm keeping my promise.
HE AND BEBE HOOK ARMS AND WALK AWAY. A CLOSE-UP OF THE BASE OF THE STATUE READS:
In Loving Memory of Jerome "Chef" McElroy, a true friend of South Park and hero of children.
The End