Chapter 8- A Change is Gonna Come

The cop dropped Laurie off at the front entrance and she strolled into the hospital, wringing her hands as she thought of how to say goodbye. Maybe Alexei would still be asleep and she could just leave.

But could she really leave without saying goodbye?

Hell, could she leave at all?

As she came closer to the room he was in, her steps slowed, trepidation taking over. The sadness of Jim's death came back, mixing with the fear of losing Alexei.

But she hardly knew the man. How could she be so attached to him already? He was just a man. Just a man.

So why was she so willing to stay? To give up her fourteen year career that she had worked so hard for?

Tears dripped down her cheeks. It was an impossible choice and no matter what she did, she feared she would be unhappy.

Laurie allowed herself another minute to cry freely, then she wiped away the tears and steeled herself. It wouldn't be good to walk in already crying. Once her breathing had returned to relatively normal and her cheeks were dry, Laurie pushed open the door and headed inside Alexei's room.

The Russian was asleep. He was still wearing his glasses and looked slightly silly sleeping in his glasses, but she knew that was her fault. He looked so peaceful when he slept, like the world hadn't almost ended tonight.

Like he almost hadn't died.

Laurie pulled off her jacket and folded it before setting it on the chair that was still up against the bed. She reached into her pants pocket and pulled her badge out of her back pocket and set it on top of her jacket. Gingerly and as carefully as she could, Laurie climbed into bed with Alexei, lying on her side beside him. She reminded herself of his injury and so as much as she would have wanted to put her head on his chest, inside she settled for his shoulder. She pulled his right hand up on his stomach and held it with her own.

Then she closed her eyes and let herself dream of a future with Alexei.

She was awoken by the feeling of fingers on her face and the touch of dry lips to her forehead.

"Alyosha," she whispered into his shoulder.

He squeezed her hand. "Lyubimaya." Beloved. Darling. Things she was not. "Are the others okay?"

"Joyce found her children and the others. Murray is okay," she trailed off, sucking in her breath, unable to say the words out loud. "Jim…" she whispered.

"He did not make it?" Alexei finished for her.

She couldn't voice it. She couldn't find the words.

Alexei didn't say anything more, but shifted so he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her closer to his chest. Laurie tried to avoid leaning near his heart and instead buried her face in the crook of his neck.

They laid there for a while, joined and connected in a way that Laurie hadn't been in so long. Was that the reason she had fallen for Alexei so quickly? Because she was so starved for affection?

And yet, that seemed like an insult to the sweet Russian.

"I have to go back home," she whispered.

"Home?"

"St. Louis. My boss wants me back this morning."

Alexei shifted slightly. "But what about me?"

"Jim & Joyce's friend Dr. Owens is going to help you. He's going to keep you safe and get you citizenship."

"But-," Alexei shifted out from under her, leaning on his arm as he breathed painfully. "but what about you? What will happen?"

Laurie couldn't meet his eyes. "The FBI refused to help. I'm sorry Alexei, but I have to go back to work. I can't help you anymore." She could feel his eyes on her, but she just couldn't look up. She couldn't stand to see the hurt in his eyes after everything that had happened. "I'm sorry."

"But will I see you again?"

She finally looked up at him. There wasn't hurt in his eyes. Sadness. He was going to miss her. He wanted to be with her.

Smiling, Laurie reached up and stroked his cheek. "It might take some time, but if you want, you'll absolutely see me again."

Alexei leaned over her and kissed her lips softly. "I want to see you every day," he whispered, his lips brushing hers.

Laurie giggled as he kissed her again. "It'll take time, but it can happen." She hoped, at least. She had no idea where he would go and if Dr. Owens would let her see him again.

Alexei laid back down, his breathing labored from pain.

She didn't want to leave, but her boss had left her with little choice. And what kind of person would give up her job for a man after one day?

She would see Alexei again.

His breathing slowed as he drifted off again. Laurie waited as long as she dared and then she slowly pulled herself out of his grasp, kissing him gently one last time, and then she gathered her things and left. She didn't allow herself the opportunity to look back.

Gathering herself, Laurie left the hospital and got a cab to a rental car service. She drove back to Sesser and took a cab to Murray's place where she found her car still waiting for her.

Laurie stared at Murray's home/bunker and thought back to the last 24 hours. So much had happened. So few hours had changed her life.

Or had it?

When she went back to St. Louis, would she forget Alexei? Would she bide her time until she could find him again?

Maybe none of it mattered.

Maybe all of it mattered, every second.

Sighing, Laurie climbed into her car and made the long drive back to St. Louis to face her boss. Maybe he'd be kind and fire her and she could immediately return to Alexei and disappear with him.

As she drove, her mind went through every possibility, torturing herself with the "what ifs". When she arrived back at the FBI office in downtown St. Louis, still in the same clothes from the day before, it wasn't technically morning anymore. And certainly not first thing in the morning. She rubbed deodorant on her armpits and sprayed herself with some perfume she had in her glove box and then headed inside.

The office was busy, but no more so than usual. It was like they had no idea what had happened in Hawkins. No idea of what a group of kids had stopped.

No idea of what Laurie had been through.

As she walked up to her desk, a coworker told her their boss, Adam James, had been waiting for her. Laurie took a moment to collect herself and then she headed down the hallway to his office.

"About time you got back," he snapped when she walked into his office.

"It's a long drive," she said in a monotone voice, seating herself in a chair in front of his desk.

She had hardly sat down before he tossed a newspaper at her chest. She caught it and looked at the main headline of the morning paper. A fire at the Starcourt Mall in Hawkins, Indiana had taken the life of the Sheriff. Laurie fought back tears as she stared at the small photo of Jim.

"So much for a Russian conspiracy."

"Jim Hopper is my brother-in-law," Laurie found herself snapping at her boss, glaring up at him. He steeled, clearly not expecting that. "His death is a tragedy, regardless of how it occurred."

Agent James frowned. "I'm sorry, Agent Miller."

"And do you really think the government would let the public know that the Russians had built a secret base under a mall in midtown America?" Laurie said as she stood up and tossed the newspaper on his desk. "Regardless, what's done is done and I am back to continue my work on the Richardson case, sir."

She waited as he looked her over, trying to decide if it was worth it to reprimand her or not.

"Good. Get back to work."

With a sigh, Laurie left his office and returned to her desk to force Jim and Alexei and Murray and the whole damn thing out of her mind. She needed to return to her work, mostly because she wanted to test herself. Would her "love" for Alexei diminish? Or in a week, would she still miss him?

Only time would tell.