The battle at Marley still weighed heavily in everyone's mind, Eren had gone rogue and Sasha has been killed. The morale amongst the Survey Corps was incredible low. Not long after returning back to Paradis, Mikasa made her way into the mess hall, now changed from her battle gear and cleaned up, back into her civilian attire of a white dress and covered herself with a shawl. She looked around the hall for her comrades, she waved as she spotted Armin sitting at a table across the room but was interrupted by a hand grabbing hers.
"Hey…" Levi greeted her gently, letting go of her hand now he had his attention.
"Levi, how did your meeting go?" She asked.
"I came to find you because I'm being called away now." He looked away mournfully, "I'm escorting Zeke back to the city." He said in a hushed tone, "I'm leaving this afternoon and I won't be back for a while. I'm sorry I won't be there for Braus' funeral either."
"You won't?" Mikasa looked panicked, gripping tighter onto the shawl that covered her shoulders.
Levi felt a pain to his heart, "No. I'm so sorry. It's been decided already, I have no choice."
"I, I, I need you to be there," as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, she quickly squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "No I'm sorry I know you'd be there if you could."
Mikasa winced as she felt a lump in her throat and tried her best to hold back her tears. Levi quickly put his arms around her to comfort her, "Come to my room, please? I still have time." He whispered into her ear.
He saw Armin timidly approaching the pair in his peripheral vision, Levi nodded to him, giving him the okay to come over.
"Mikasa, what's wrong?" The blond asked, his voice panicked.
The captain stepped away from Mikasa but kept a hand on the small of her back. "Armin, I'm leaving imminently," he gave a heavy sigh, "you'll stay by her side during Sasha's send off won't you?"
"Of course." Armin put a hand on his childhood friend's shoulder, gripping it tightly. He understood through Levi's desperate expression that he was pained to leave her, especially at a time like this, Eren was causing everyone grief through his actions in Marley. Armin understood the pain she was feeling seeing their friend change like that.
"I'll be here the whole time, okay, Mikasa? You won't be alone as long as you want to be." Armin said gently.
Mikasa nodded, "Thank you."
"After you're done, come find us upstairs okay? I'm meeting with Jean and Connie." He added with a sympathetic smile.
"I will."
Armin gave her shoulder a squeeze before he set off and then gave the couple a wave as Levi thanked him. The captain quickly turned his attention back to Mikasa as he felt her body trembling, she was obviously trying to hold back her tears and he responded by pulling her towards him. "You'll be fine I know you will. Let's go, come on, you can cry all you want when we get back to our room, okay?" He said in a harsh tone but Mikasa knew he meant well.
"I'm sorry I don't mean to." She said quietly, letting him drag her down the hallway to what was originally his room but it seemed to be theirs now and surprisingly no one had given them shit for it.
He closed the door to the room and made his way over to the bed where Mikasa was and sat beside her. He watched her with sorrowful eyes.
Feeling herself begin to break down, she threw her head into her hands, "They think I'm conspiring with Eren. They all do, I heard them whispering earlier." She sobbed, "I can't bring myself to turn my back on him yet but I would never betray everyone like that!"
Levi pulled her into his lap and she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. He sighed heavily, wishing he could simply take her worries away from her even if that meant he felt every bit of her pain.
"Listen to me, everyone knows you're an excellent and loyal soldier, they're just being assholes because they're hurting right now." Levi kissed the top of her head and patiently waited for her sobs to subside.
She pulled her head from his shoulder to face him, Levi brushed her tears away with his thumb before leaning in to kiss her on the lips.
"Don't let them get to you, okay?" He demanded, putting his forehead up against hers. "Ignore those idiots."
"Okay." She whispered, "how long do you have, Levi?"
The captain grimaced as he glanced at the clock on the wall, "Twenty minutes."
"Let me help you get ready then..." she said standing up from his embrace and moved to the closet to collect his things for him. Levi stood up and joined her, taking the fresh uniform from her and began to get changed. She crouched down to grab his boots from the bottom shelf.
"I'll be honest, I'm glad to be getting away from that brat, Eren. I've always fought to protect him and now I feel like everything leading up to this point has just been a bad joke." Levi frowned, as he buttoned up his shirt. He wanted to tell her to stay away from Eren, that he wasn't the same kid they had once knew but Levi could tell Mikasa understood this already- otherwise she wouldn't be so upset.
"Trust me I feel the same way but he does care about us all, somewhere deep down inside..." The raven haired soldier passed him his boots and sat down on an armchair next to where Levi was finishing getting ready, she sighed as she flopped herself down.
"I don't know about that, Mikasa but please… just let Hange deal with him for now." Levi shot her a frown.
"Alright," she agreed reluctantly, leaning back into the chair and crossing her arms.
After he was done getting dressed, Levi crouched down in front Mikasa, he placed both hands on to her legs and gave them a gentle squeeze, "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you that's all," he gave her a sad smile, "I just wish I wasn't leaving right now."
Mikasa uncrossed her arms and put her hand over his, "I'll be fine, I promise."
For a moment, Levi rested his head onto her lap, letting out a deep sigh as she began to stroke his hair. He felt truly blessed to have become this close to her, to be able to have these moments of comfort in this horrible world.
"I don't have long, come here." He stood up and held his hand out to Mikasa, dragging her out of the chair and pulled her into his embrace, giving her a long gentle kiss. "Let me walk you over to the others before I go."
"Don't you want me to come see you off?" She asked as he gave her a hard kiss to her cheek.
"No, I'll be escorting Zeke, I don't want you seeing him again, just take the rest of the night to relax okay? Be with your friends." Levi brushed a loose strand of hair from her face and smiled sadly, the truth was he couldn't bare the thought of her standing there watching him leave. Not knowing if he'd come back or not. Not knowing when the next time they'd see each other again. His only comfort was that he knew she would be safe with Armin.
"I will." They kissed repeatedly on the lips, until they both reluctantly agreed it was time to go. "I love you, Levi."
"I love you too," he muttered, giving her one last kiss.
"Don't you dare die." She pointed a finger at him, playfully ordering him with a smile.
He returned the smile, "Same goes for you too," Levi gently pinched her cheek and shook her face, "Now stop being a softy you're going to throw me off my mission."
"Heh?" She giggled, "You're the softy, old man, not me!"
Levi blushed and pinched her cheek a little harder, "Don't smile cutely at me like that, that's even worse!"
Mikasa laughed and pushed him away, "Let go you weirdo!"
"Only when you stop giggling like a schoolgirl!" He couldn't resist tickling her, being so carefree like this was another thing he enjoyed about being close to someone again.
"Stop you stupid idiot!" She begged through giggles, finding herself flopping onto the bed, unable to stand anymore.
Levi climbed on top of her, not relenting, he grinned knowing he was torturing her. "Idiot?! You're the one laughing like one!"
"Stop! Please stop!" She begged.
Levi relented his torture, weary of possibly getting kicked across the room if he didn't stop. "Alright, I'll stop." He tapped her on the nose, "Now you be good while I'm gone."
"Yes, Captain." Mikasa said with a glint in her eye, grabbing his shirt by its collar, knowing that would get her in even more trouble.
"You are the worst, you know that?"
"Yes I do," she grinned, pulling him a little closer.
Levi couldn't resist and leaned himself down and began to kiss her. He rolled on his side and dragged her with him, holding her tightly and never wanting to let go. The kiss picked up speed and became deeper and more passionate. Feeling himself get carried away, Levi broke the kiss and leaned up onto his elbow, stroking her face as he did so.
Mikasa smiled, trying not to let her sadness show, she knew it was time for him to leave. "Ready to go?"
Levi felt a pang to his chest as she looked up at him, "Come on, I'll walk you over now."
The pair got off the bed, Mikasa made her way to the door and waited for him as he threw on his green cloak. He nodded to her and they left the room making their way down the hall to where Armin waited for her.
Armin stood up from the couch as he heard their footsteps approach, he went to greet them but refrained as he saw Levi pull Mikasa in close.
"I'll miss you." He whispered, giving her hand a squeeze.
Mikasa felt herself well up but fought her tears for him. "I'll miss you too."
Levi pulled away as he saw Armin in the doorway. "See you soon."
"Goodbye, Captain." Armin said cheerfully then glanced to Mikasa to gauge her reaction.
"Goodbye." She added and watched him as he turned the corner of the hallway. Mikasa bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.
Unable to hold himself back, Armin threw his arms around her, he hated seeing her so upset. "I'm sorry, Mikasa."
She gladly accepted his hug and cried into his shoulder, "First Eren, then Sasha, now this!"
"I know..." Armin felt a tear slip down his cheek. "I'm here too, okay? We've got each other's backs, even if Eren doesn't have ours right now, we've still got each other!"
Mikasa pulled away and smiled at her friend, "You're right. Thank you, Armin."
"Let's go and wait for the others," Armin lead her into a living room.
Jean entered the living room, followed by Connie, a bottle of whiskey in hand.
"You guys ready to give Sasha a send off tonight? Hange gave me this." Connie said waving the bottle in his hand.
Mikasa and Armin nodded, the four of them took a seat on the sofa. Jean took the bottle from Connie and began pouring out glasses for everyone.
"I just saw Levi, he looked pissed." Jean said, glancing to Mikasa. "Did you break up with him now Eren's back?"
Mikasa frowned, "No, of course not."
"Good." Jean muttered, "Then what was he so mad about?"
"He's escorting Zeke back to the city." Armin decided to speak on behalf of Mikasa, wanting to dispel the tension between Jean and Mikasa.
"I see..." Jean sighed, "Well I don't blame him then, that guy gives me the creeps." He added handing out the glasses of whiskey among his friends.
"No more politics or Titan talk tonight, okay?" Armin said as he raised his glass.
Jean raised his glass and smiled, "Agreed. To Sasha!"
Mikasa and Connie raised their glasses too and the four took a sip. Most of them pulled a face as the whiskey went down their throats.
"That was foul." Armin winced.
Connie took another long sip and shivered as he did so, "It is but let's get drunk anyway. Hange has given us this for a reason."
Jean slapped Connie on the back, "That's right! We have to do this!"
Mikasa laughed, "Lets go easy, I'm not carrying you guys to bed again." She pulled her knees to her chest, still holding onto her glass. "Except Connie, he's allowed."
The shaved head soldier smiled at Mikasa, comforted by her kindness. "You hear that Jean? Mikasa said I can get wasted! Now let's down another!"
Jean poured another round, "Ready, on 3?" He looked at each of his friends and they nodded with courage. "1, 2... 3!"
Another round of groans and splutters came as they finished their glasses. As the evening went on, their faces became rosier and they relaxed a bit more. The whiskey went down easier too.
"You kids enjoying yourselves?" Hange dropped in, holding a few plates of food.
"Commander!" Jean stood up to take the plates from her. "Would you like to join us?"
"No, no!" She waved her hand, "Unfortunately I have work to do but don't let me stop you guys. Now line your stomachs!"
The soldiers thanked their commander as she left the room. Jean began to unwrap the food and Mikasa approached him, helping him prepare the plates of deli meats and bread.
"Mikasa..." Jean began but avoided eye contact with her, he focused his attention on the food. "Don't throw everything away now Eren's back. He doesn't deserve your loyalty."
She frowned, "You already said that earlier."
"I know but I want to make sure you really hear it. Take off that scarf too, do you really think Levi likes you wearing that?" Jean furrowed his brows at the her.
Mikasa stopped in her tracks, it felt like her heart had skipped a beat for a moment and the cutlery she was holding slipped from her hand onto the floor.
Armin rushed over from his place on the sofa and stood between the two, "Jean, don't be an asshole. This evening was supposed to be about Sasha not Eren."
Mikasa crossed her arms, "How could you say that?"
"Look, everything was a lot easier before he came back." Jean bowed his head. "And plus you and the captain are good together, I don't want anything spoiling that."
"You know she loves him, Jean. They've been together for years now nothing is going to change that." Armin frowned. "We've all seen them together, what they have is unquestionable."
"You're right…" Jean bowed his head down, "I'm sorry, Mikasa. I'm just worried you're not seeing the Eren we're all seeing."
"I see it okay?" Mikasa said as she wrapped her shawl tighter around her body.
Jean raised an eyebrow, "You do?"
"Don't take me for an idiot, Jean. I begged him to stop today but he wouldn't listen." She sighed, too exhausted to get worked up about this all again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise." Jean put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry, okay?"
"Alright." She nodded, "Let's go be with Connie now, he needs us."
The soldier they spoke off was slumped into his armchair, fast asleep, his whiskey still in hand. Jean moved to take it from him and placed it back on the table.
"Should we take him to bed?" Armin asked.
"No!" Connie suddenly let out, his eyes still closed. "I'm awake. Stay here."
"Alright buddy, don't worry we're staying." Jean sat by him, patting him on the shoulder.
The three smiled at each other and began to eat, sticking by their friend in his time of need. They chatted away, reminiscing about their friend Sasha.
As the night came to a close, Jean pulled Connie up out of his chair, throwing his arm around him, "Come on dude, bed time!"
They said their goodbyes and Armin walked Mikasa back to her and Levi's room. "I'll come get you for breakfast tomorrow okay?" He gave a smile.
"Thank Armin, don't worry about me okay? You don't have to babysit me just because Levi asked you to." She said a little sheepishly, hating herself for putting her friend out.
"No… Mikasa…" Armin looked down, "With everything that's been going on with Eren, I... need you too."
She gave him a big smile, "good, then let's stick together."
"Awesome, see you tomorrow then." He waved and set off to pass out in his room, which he shared with Jean and Connie. Mikasa originally shared her own room with Sasha but their own rendezvous with the men in their lives meant they didn't share it as much, which now Mikasa regretted. Sascha had frequently brought home Niccolo to their room and they seemed to have made themselves quite comfortable there too.
She made her way into Levi's room, getting changed into her night wear, putting one of Levi's discarded cotton tops for comfort. It still smelled like him, she was glad. Mikasa slipped herself under the sheets and sighed, a tear slipped down her cheek as she laid her down on Levi's pillow. Tears for Sasha, for Levi and for Eren.