"Owen Brady died." Josh springs the news on me as soon as he climbs into the car. "Heart attack."

"Oh my god. How old was he?"

"52." Josh answers monotonically, then falls silent. The Owl School is less than 5 minutes from the White House, and Josh is silent the whole drive over there. I just hope he snaps out of it before we get the kids.

Then what's bothering Josh hits me like a punch to the gut. Justice Brady is only 10 years older than Josh. Josh is thinking about what our life would be like if we lost him in 10 years. An overwhelming grief surges through me. Thank god we're here. I throw the car in park as I throw a hand up over my mouth.

I'm not sure if I'm going to sob or vomit. I haven't felt like this since that long night in Rosslyn.

"Donna?" In that one word, Josh asks all of the questions that neither of us ever want to verbalize.

I shake my head at him. I don't really want to talk about it. Honestly, I can't talk about it. He jumps out of the car and races around to my side, opening my door and practically pulling me from the driver's seat. Then he wraps his arms around me and just holds me close.

We stay that way for a good five minutes and slowly the terror subsides. I can hear how strongly his heart is beating. I can feel the strength in his arms wrapped around me. He's been taking care of himself. He's got every reason to live. He's not going to leave us.

Eventually my heartbeat returns to normal and I pull back a little. I'm not sure what to say to Josh, but he just gives me a small, sad smile. "Yeah, me too." He responds to the thoughts in my head.

I take a deep, fortifying breath. "Come on, let's get the kids."

Our kids aren't the only ones still at daycare at 5:45 on Friday night. There will be several Moms, and a few Dads, racing in right before 6 to beat the clock. This town isn't the easiest on families.

Noah is happily playing with a friend when we look through the window, so we pick Luci up first. As soon as she sees us her face lights up and she runs toward us. "Mama! Dada!"

Fifteen months and I'm still blown away every time I look into her eyes. To have a carbon copy of Josh fulfills my every desire. Not that I don't love Noah's blonde curls and sea blue eyes, but I fell in love with chocolate brown, and now I get two sets of them. And her hair! Thick and rich with every shade of brown and auburn. It's already everything I envied in high school.

After we gather Luci's things, including a finger painting that I'm told is a doggie, the three of us round up Noah.

My sturdy little boy. Luci may be Josh's mini-me in looks, but there is no doubt that Noah is his father's son. At three he's already ready to take on the world, and he's smart enough to do it. He's got a mischievous streak but his heart is bigger than his little body can contain. Josh's mom has gleefully confirmed that he's exactly like Josh was at that age.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad." He greets us casually, and my heart stops. Josh and I exchange a look. Just this morning he was calling us Mommy and Daddy. Do they really grow up this fast?

Josh recovers quicker than I do. "Hey buddy. Ready to go home?"

"Yes! Pizza night!" He announces, standing up with an enthusiastic fist pump.

"Help Joey put the blocks away." Josh encourages him.

"It's okay." Joey announces in a hard voice. "My dad won't be here any time soon."

Unfortunately, he's probably right. Joey's dad is the legislative director for Congressman Quigley. He and Joey's Mom went through a nasty divorce last year. Seeing what it's done to their kids makes me so glad that I have Josh, and all the more resolved to work out any little squabbles and not let them get blown out of proportion.

Josh helps Noah into his coat and grabs his little backpack from the cubby, then we're on our way. The mood seems a little somber as we walk out to the car, but I know just how to lighten it.

"So . . . " I say pulling my cell phone out, "mushrooms and black olives on the pizza, right?"

"Ewww! No way!" Noah exclaims looking to his father for help. Josh looks equally horrified. "Mom! We want just cheese."

"You guys are boring." I tease them. "Whaddya say Luci? Will you be my adventurous one? You'll share a pizza with me, won't you?"

"Pizza!" She garbles happily at me. She really will eat whatever I put in front of her.

"Daddy?" Noah implores switching quickly back to his sweetest little boy voice.

"I think Mommy's just teasing us." Josh tells him as he opens the back door for Noah to climb into his car seat. "Aren't you Mommy?"

Meanwhile I've hit the call button and the phone is ringing.

"Pizza Paradiso." A cheery voice answers. "Pick up or delivery?"

"Pick up, please. I need a large double cheese pizza." Noah cheers and Josh grins at him. "And a small garden salad."

"Make it a large salad." Josh instructs. And my heart soars. I love this man so much.

. . . . . .

"So Noah, it's your turn to pick. What are we going to watch?" I ask him as Josh helps the kids get settled on cushions behind the coffee table.

Noah strokes his chin and deliberates for a few moments. I can almost see the wheels turning. But this whole exercise is rather pointless, because I already know he's going to pick-

"Air Bud!" He announces definitively, while Josh moans softly. I shoot Josh a look. He knows how I feel about giving the kids choices then undermining their decisions. Either don't give them a choice or let them make it and own it.

"Which one?" I ask him patiently. Thanks to generous grandparents and a large honorary family we own all of the movies.

"Seventh Inning Fetch." He offers, trying to appease Josh. He looks hopefully to his father to see if he made a good choice. At least it's a baseball movie. Sort of.

Josh smiles weakly while ruffling Noah's hair. I know he doesn't really like these movies but Noah loves them, and the dogs keep Luci's attention too. Eventually they'll stop wanting to watch movies with us completely, for now we need to just enjoy the family time.

"Doggie! Woof, Woof!" Luci exclaims as soon as she sees buddy on the screen. That gets a genuine smile from Josh just before he takes a large bite of his pizza.

The kids do a pretty good job of eating while watching their movie. But as soon as she's done with her food, Luci is ready to find something else to occupy her.

"I got her." Josh announces getting up and chasing her down before she can wipe her sticky hands on anything. She giggles as he scoops her up and heads towards the sink.

Once her hands are clean, Josh takes her into the nursery to look for something to play with. I'm not surprised when he comes back with the dollhouse. The two of them play with the little figures for almost an hour while Noah cuddles next to me on the couch.

When the movie ends Josh looks at his watch. "Fifteen minutes before bathtime, pal. What do you want to do?"

"Trains!" Noah quickly suggests running toward his room.

"Twains!" Luci quickly mimics.

Josh grabs her before she can follow her brother. "Hold on, JoJo! You need to help put the dollies away."

Luci and Josh make quick work of dumping the figures and accessories into the bin and folding up the dollhouse. Then we all head to Noah's room. He's already got a head start laying out the wooden tracks and it isn't long until it extends into the hallway.

Luci keeps marching back to the big bin and bringing pieces to the engineers. I take on landscaping duty, adding some wooden trees and houses along the way.

Since everyone is working together so well, I don't say anything as the fifteen minutes turns into twenty-five.

But at 8:30, Luci is yawning and rubbing her eyes. It's way past her bedtime and she still needs a bath.

"Okay fellas, time for that train to make its final route, while I get the bath ready."

Noah runs back to the box and pulls out the battery operated train and turns it on. Then he sets it on the track. The three of them watch while it makes its circuit.

"Bath time!" I call out.

I hear the patter of her little feet as Luci comes running. She does love the water. I quickly get her undressed and start soaping her up. Out in the living room, there are intense negotiations underway.

"Ten more minutes?"

"Sorry Noah. It's bath time."

"I can take one in the morning."

"Nope. Baths are for night. Plus we have someplace to be tomorrow and I want you squeaky clean."

"Five more minutes?"

"Nope. Get a move on."

"Dad!" Noah pleads with a slight whine to his voice.

"Noah!" Josh copies him.

I hear a small huff, then the stomping of little feet down the hallway.

"Dad's a meanie." Noah announces as he arrives in the bathroom.

"Noah James!" I scold. That's not a nice thing to say. "We let you play for an extra half hour. If you're going to have a bad attitude, tomorrow you'll be going to bed a half hour early."

Noah looks appropriately sheepish as he takes his clothes off and climbs into the tub. But his lip pops into a pout as he hears Josh putting the train tracks away.

"I bet if you ask nicely, Daddy would be happy to build the track with you again tomorrow." I tell him.

"He said we have to go somewhere tomorrow. We won't get any time to play." He grumbles.

"Hey. Tomorrow's going to be fun. You'll see."

"What are we doing?"

"It's a surprise."

. . . . . .

"Are we going to the movies?" Noah asks in between bites of waffle.

"Movie?" Luci parrotts.

"Nope." Josh answers with a smirk.

"Are we going bowling?"

"Bow-in'" Luci repeats even though I'm pretty sure she has no idea what bowling means. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why Noah would suggest that. We've never been. Maybe I should look into it.

"God, no." Josh answers. Well maybe not.

"God, no." Luci copies and I give Josh a look. We really need to watch what we say right now.

Noah wrinkles up his nose and tries again. "Ice cream?"

"Dude. You're not even done with breakfast yet."

Noah pops another piece of waffle in his mouth and chews slowly. "Shopping?" He asks with a whine. He shares Josh's distaste for the chore.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth." I tell him. "And no, I'm not taking you shopping." It's so much faster and easier if I just do it on my own.

"Finish up so we can get going." Josh offers, getting up to refill his coffee. On the way towards the pot, he grabs me around the waist and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"Me too!" Luci demands, so Josh heads back to the table and gives her a kiss.

"All done," she tells him. Sure enough, her tray is empty.

"Do you want more, baby girl?"

"All done." She repeats insistently.

"I'll get her cleaned up. You can have another cup of coffee while Noah finishes."

While I'm getting Luci dressed, I hear Noah continuing his quest of figuring out the surprise. Some of his ideas are quite outlandish. I can picture Josh horseback riding, and it isn't pretty.

. . . . .

As the car makes the turn into the White House parking lot, Noah lets out a loud groan.

"Daddy has to work?! I thought we we're going to do something fun!"

"This is going to be fun, Noah. Trust us." Josh answers softly.

"Well, is my President going to be there?"

"Yes, and Mrs. B too." I smile at him through the mirror. He has a very special relationship with the first family. They're practically honorary grandparents. But we want our kids to address adults properly. President Bartlet was too much of a mouthful, but somehow MY President stuck. I don't even know how Noah's going to deal with term limits.

"What about Papa Leo?"

"Yes, he'll be there too." Leo quickly nixed the idea of Mr. McGarry. Since Mallory doesn't have any kids, he decided to go for broke, dubbing himself "Papa Leo" and refusing any attempt at formality. The kids quickly learned that even though he can be gruff with their father, when it comes to them he's a big softie. And he's not afraid to buy their love, often sending gifts home for no reason at all.

Noah gets a big smile on his face and I can tell that he's decided that this surprise just might turn out okay. Just wait until he sees who else is here.

. . . . .

When we walk into the mural room, Luci goes nuts.

"Elmo! Elmo! Elmo!"

Josh's grin couldn't be any bigger. He's just made his little girl's day. There's nothing he likes better.

"Donna! I'm so glad you guys are here!" Abbey calls out, walking over wearing her lab coat. "Hi Noah! Hi Luci!" She greets the kids.

"Mrs. B. You're a doctor!" Noah announces in awe.

"Yes, I am Noah. And I'm going to give Elmo a check up. Would you like to help me?"

"YES!" Noah response in a loud voice.

Abbey leads him over to the set, where Elmo is sitting on a table. A couple other kids are standing around watching as well.

"Okay you stand here and make sure I do a good job." Abbey tells him. Noah nods solemnly.

"Okay, and one, two, three." Abbey says, then taps Elmo's knee with a reflex hammer.

"Oh, that was fun." Elmo announces. "Do the other one."

Noah's eyes get comically big when Abbey tells Elmo it's time for a vaccination and she's going to give him an injection. Noah shares his father's fear of needles. I wonder if all the medical stuff going on while he was in the womb has anything to do with it.

"But Mrs. Doctor Abbey, First Lady Doctor, will it hurt Elmo?"

"Well, maybe just a tiny little bit, but it's very important."

Noah nods at Elmo. He's heard this before. I'm glad he remembers.

But Elmo isn't done stalling. "Wait a minute. Didn't you give up your medical license?"

Everybody laughs, and CJ smiles. That'll be good for the soundtrack, and it's the reason she set this all up. Make light of it and move on.

While Abbey is finishing up, a production assistant waves me over to a table where a puppeteer is standing with Rositia. For a moment I wonder if it's bad that I know the Sesame Street gang by name.

"We'd like to do another segment. Would you be willing to do storytime with Rositia and your baby? It's a book about a day at the White House."

I can't deny Luci the opportunity to be on the show too, so I agree.

"Okay, here's the script. Why don't you run your lines now." The producer walks away and I'm left with Rosita.

"I never do this. I'm a little nervous." I tell her.

"Don't be silly." Rositia responds. "Wow! You have beautiful hair."

"Oh, my God, that's so sweet. I actually need to get it cut, but thanks." I find myself responding without even thinking. I guess talking to muppets isn't that hard.

As the morning goes on it's hard to tell who is more excited, Noah, Luci or Josh. None of them can stop grinning, and their matching dimples are giving me cuteness overload.

But eventually we're done. Josh gathers us and we all troop over to Leo's office.

"Papa Leo! I'm here!" Noah announces after Margaret gives us the go ahead to barge in.

"Good thing! I've been trying to run this country all by myself and I could use a little help." He gives Josh a little stare when he says it, and I'm reminded that as always, there's lots of work to be done.

"We already helped." Noah informs him. "We was just helping Mrs. B."

"We were helping Mrs. B." Josh corrects his grammar.

"We were!" Noah tells Leo.

"I'm sure you were a very big help." Leo agrees opening his desk drawer. He pulls stuffed animals out and hands an Elmo to Noah, and a Zoey doll to Luci.

"Leo . . ." I start but he shuts me down with a look. There's just no point in protesting. "What do you say kids?"

"Thank you Papa Leo." Noah responds.

"Tank you." Luci offers.

Leo's face breaks into a genuine smile. "You're welcome kiddos. But I need another favor from you. I really need your Dad's help for a bit. Can you spare him?"

Noah nods, and Luci is quick to follow. Once he has the kids approval he looks to me. The look on his face tells me this is just a courtesy. And it's okay. I get it.

"Abbey wants us to come up the residence for lunch. Then I'll take them home for naps. Will that be enough time?"

"Probably." Leo agrees. "If he's efficient."

"Okay. But can you make sure he eats something too?"

Leo rolls his eyes but agrees to my terms. "Margaret!" He hollers. "Order some corned beef from Krupin's please."

That gets a grin from Josh. He walks us to the door, then gives us each a kiss. "I'll be as quick as I can." He promises. And I know he'll keep his word.

This is our life. It moves.