Hey guys! Yes, I am finally back. I've had a lot to do in the past few weeks and haven't had time to continue writing.

I hope you see this update as a small redress.

Enjoy while reading,

T73.

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Sometimes I don't understand the human mind.

Not because I don't have enough education or life experience, but because I sometimes wonder why we feel the need to destroy our environment or to kill each other.

Or what causes someone to stalk a woman and threaten her with texts just to stop when said woman leaves the city on request.

Two years ago, I asked Maura to go back to New York to realize her full potential and her dreams but didn't tell her about the text messages.

For two years I tried to convince myself that my motives were noble, but to be honest I think that my pride was hurt at that time when she had dropped my marriage proposal and reproached me for having selfish motives.

Maybe we would still be together today if I had just put the cards on the table.

I know that Maura would have been scared at first, but even then she wasn't incapable of dealing with it.

I can't say what I thought at the time. I will never know.

After Maura went back to New York, we tried to stay in touch, but life is not like that.

At some point, we both became too busy.

I went back to work and Maura was fully focused on her career.

For two years I haven't received a strange text in which they were threatened her. For the past two years, no human beings have been killed in the same brutal way.

Of course, I also have some contacts in New York to whom I had described the situation and asked them to contact me immediately if there would be murders with the same MO or a similar MO.

In those two years, I didn't even have to leave Boston for that reason, so I say that sometimes I don't understand the human mind.

Somehow it's funny because it's my job to put myself in other people's shoes.

Well, somehow it's my job to understand what someone's motive is to kill another person.

At least I'm glad that Maura is out of focus of a sicko, but the problem is that this crazy man is still out on the street and my colleagues have found no approach to encase him or at least to find out his identity, which causes one or the other sleepless night.

I know that there are people who can spend years cooling down until the instinct to kill returns.

As a homicide detective, I read not corny romance novels but literature.

Whatever. Now I don't want to deal with this right now but rather make sure that I get my overdue coffee dose from the Cafe before I go up to the third floor and I deal again with the not so pleasant side of humanity.

In an hour I will talk to a man whose sixteen-year-old son has disappeared without a trace and then mysteriously reappeared dead. I have the suspicion that daddy has something to do with the dead he is not innocence.

I freeze when I hear a very familiar voice. I would recognize that voice among hundreds. I suspect that my brain wants to play a trick on me because in the last few days I had to think again and again about the source. No idea why.

It's funny, every time I heard that voice my heart stopped, that's what's happening right now, although I know she should be in New York.

I turn around and am sure that I find the source of the voice in the lobby and realize that the person I hope to see is not here.

My heart stops again and my breath's hitching when I see Nina who talks joyfully to a blonde with her back to me.

Not only would I recognize the voice among hundreds but also the figure.

"Jane," says Nina, waving eagerly to join the two of them. "look who has turned up here."

My mouth gets dry as the blonde looks over her shoulder and nothing and nobody exists but us when our eyes meet.

Two years ago, it was the last time I looked into those hazel eyes.

"Maura," I gasp and before I know what's happening I'm standing with them. She always has been like being a magnet I was attracted to, whether I wanted it or not.

Maura has hardly changed, only that she has become a little older what suits her more than well.

She smiles broadly when she spots me and my heart melts. "Hello, Jane."

I don't think much about it and pull her into a hug, whether she likes it or not. "What are you doing here," I ask, feeling Nina rolling her eyes.

Maura chuckles and returns the hug. "That's a very nice welcome."

Yes, I know. Sometimes I'm a clumsy oaf. I take a little distance again and eye my ex-girlfriend more closely. "You look good." It bursts out of me and see that Nina rolls her eyes again. My eyes narrow and I ask, "Didn't you wanna get a coffee?"

Nina shakes her head and pulls down the corners of her mouth downwards. "No, not really."

I blink a few times and Nina seems to understand the hint. "I ... I'll go get coffee."

Maura chuckles again before our mutual friend says goodbye with a hug.

Maura lets her eyes wander down on me and raises her brows when she sees the badge on my belt. "I see you've gone a long way in the last two years."

I also look down at myself and lift my arms a little. "Yes, has cost enough."

Maura understands this hint and licks her lips without replying.

I clear my throat when this silence is immediately unpleasant. "And ... what brings you back to Boston?"

"Business."

Okay, that answers my question but leaves much more open.

"Okay," I say slowly, looking at my watch to signal that this unpleasant conversation has ended. "I should go to work before my lieutenant makes my life a living hell."

"Yes," she replies, trying to smile, but in vain. "I have an appointment myself and you know what I think about tardiness."

I nod slowly and shove my hands into my pockets so I don't pull her into another hug. "It was nice to see you, Maura," I say and start to approach the elevators. I furl my eyebrows when she follows me in the same direction. Yes, I know that you only get to the lab via the elevators, but I thought that she would still wait for Nina.

I press the button and rock on my feet while we wait in silence for the elevator.

I would have so much to tell Maura, but to be honest, I'm afraid I'll admit at a careless moment that I've only broken up with her to protect her. So much for my selfish motives.

I know Maura well enough to know that she was mad at me even then, but such revelation would never be forgiven.

To be honest, that's the main reason why I didn't contact her after Maura went back to New York. It killed me and that's why I didn't get involved in a serious relationship anymore.

Maura was the love of my life, that's why I wanted to marry her even though we hadn't been together for a long time.

When I have been looking at Maura in detail, I noticed that she bears no sign of a wedding ring.

Yes, I know. From this, you can't conclude. That doesn't mean she isn't in any serious relationship, but I'm surprised she's not married yet. No idea who can be so stupid and miss such an opportunity out.

The elevator door opens and I smile at her before entering. "Down," I ask when she follows me again and I'm about to press the bottom button.

"No," replies Maura, looking at the display. "I have to go to the third floor."

I freeze again when she says that.

Why the hell does she want to go to the third floor?

Didn't I get any memo or miss anything that I should not have missed?

I know that we often claim the expertise of an outside forensic expert, or they come here because there is an imbrication in a case, but I would have been informed about it with certainty. Such cases have been wandering over my desk for over a year, but that hadn't happened lately, so breathing doesn't come easy to me right now.

The thought crosses my mind that our unknown lunatic has a little bit ratted off in New York so that they are forced to seek the advice of a department that has already dealt with similar cases.

If that's the case then my information network has failed miserably and that wouldn't be good at all.

At the same time, the thought hits me that this is just a pretext to lure Maura back to Boston. I have heard of such maneuvers many times, but maybe I should just stop watching spy movies. Obviously, they spur my imagination on.

I start to breathe again when the elevator door opens and forces myself to smile. "We can have a coffee later if you have time, and if you want to."

Maura smiles politely and nods. "I'd love to."

I take a deep breath and nod before she's making her way toward my lieutenant's office.

I frown deeply and the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach immediately worsens.

Frankie comes to me and looks at me skeptically. "What's happening?"

I blink too many times and point in the direction in which Maura has disappeared. "Did you know that Maura is coming to Boston?"

"What," my little brother asks in a far too high voice, frowning deeply. An indication that he knew about it. "No!"

I look long at him. An indication that he is very lucky that we are both at work, otherwise I would wring his neck. "Frankie!"

"After you broke up with Maura we stayed in touch with each other," he says now and I can hear that he has a bad conscience because he kept that a secret from me. "Just because you weren't together anymore it didn't mean that I couldn't be friends with her anymore, Jane. Ma also talked to her once a week."

I don't know if I should be angry, horrified or guilty because my family made a promise that I gave Maura years ago. Or whether I should reproach myself because I couldn't keep this one promise. That I would always be there for her.

Yes, I can't blame my brother for that. He was a better friend to Maura than I had been back then. However, only a platonic friend.

I promised her that I would always be there for her and only sporadically got in touch after I drove back from the airport until the contact was completely broken off.

Why did I do that? I would be lying when I say that I'd broken off the contact only to protect her.

I ... I think I did it so I could protect myself and my heart. Every time I talked to her it broke my heart even more. I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't tell her that I still love her and start begging her to come back.

Loved, not love.

Oh, who do I try to fool? I still love her, that's why I'm still single.

Somehow I have survived in the last two years, no idea how. Maybe it was the thought that Maura was out of the line of fire. Will that make me happy? Not at all.

"Jane, everything's okay," my brother asks and pulls me out of my train of thought.

I blink a few times and smile weakly, nodding. "Yes, everything's okay,"

I don't have to see his expression, or mine, to know that he does not buy it. I have avoided Maura as often as possible, and when this topic came up, I chickened out and said goodbye.

"You didn't know she was coming back?"

Frankie shakes his head vehemently.

"Okay," I breathe and enter the bullpen.

"Jane, you look a little pale," states my good friend and mentor Korsak.

I ignore his remark and sit down at my desk, rubbing the bridge of my nose because I feel headaches creeping up. "Can you tell me why Cavanaugh talks to a ME from New York?"

Korsak seems to be as stumped for an answer as Frankie and me. He shrugs and purses his lips. "No idea."

I look long at him and frown deeply for the thousandth time that morning.

I don't know why but I don't like this development at all.

The voice in the back of my head tries to explain to me loudly that I'm just overwhelmed by Maura's appearance and that I just overreact after what had happened two years ago.

I mean, two of our school friends were brutally murdered. That was the main reason why I drove her out without her knowing that she has been in a life-threatening situation.

Maybe I'm just paranoid and that bastard has precipitated to another state.

Well, I'm not a person who believes in any form of miracle.

I'm a logical person and my head tells me that we have to be prepared for anything in case the Maura stays longer in Boston.

I cross my fingers and hope for the best.