A Thing for Heroes: Bonus Content

Welcome back! I can't believe it's over! I mean, all but two chapters were finished before I posted but it didn't feel over while I was posting it. I started this story in June of 2018 and it's been with me through triumphs and low points. Certain scenes came out of these low points. Sometimes I would just sit and write my darker chapters then that hadn't been planned. But my story needed them in the end.

I can't thank everyone enough for following me along this journey. To everyone who has favorited, followed, reviewed; I cherish each and every one of you.

Firstly, I would like to take the time to write some of my thoughts pertaining to this story. If this is uninteresting to you, feel free to skip on to the scenes below. I will also be making note of some trivia facts and easter eggs in the story. I also have bonus scenes written. Some are scenes written in Regulus' POV throughout the story. I also include scenes from the books themselves, written to include mentions of Eliza. I would like to put a disclaimer here that some of these scenes contain word for word from Rowling's writing. Some text might be taken out to remove unnecessary length. Obviously, I do not own any of that writing, except for mentions of Eliza.

As I mentioned, I wrote the ending before I ever wrote Eliza boarding The Hogwarts Express. I knew this was the way it needed to end when I began my first scratches in my notebook, making notes on characters and scenes and ages.

I had a fan contact me towards the end of the story and she asked if there was a sequel, which of course there wasn't. She guessed that Regulus would die. I asked if she'd prefer it that way or if she'd like an alternate ending. She wanted a happy ending for our duo. After that, I did think long and hard about making an alternative ending, just to do so, but I found there was no way.

Firstly, even if they escaped the lake and they successfully hid from Voldemort until his downfall and Regulus would be acquitted due to his work in getting the Horcrux, they still couldn't have their happy ending. First of all, the secret would be out. They'd inform Dumbledore of the horcrux and destroy it, and Dumbledore would be well aware there would be more horcruxes after Harry delivered him Riddle's journal. This would most likely lead to Dumbledore searching earlier and probably destroying more horcruxes. There would be no scene where Dumbledore and Harry set off to find the locket. No scene where they end up on the Astronomy tower and Dumbledore dies. Sure, he was dying anyway but then quite a bit of the seventh book would be wiped away. Harry wouldn't be searching for the locket, there would be no need to go to the Ministry, lives wouldn't be saved. He'd probably know right away that the Sword of Gryffindor could destroy Horcruxes. And even if I ignored this, Regulus and Eliza would be hunted down in the fifth book once Voldemort returns. You could argue they'd have 16 happy years together, but I can't envision their life without a child in it. And what would happen to the child? Would she (it would totally be a she) be orphaned? That's not a happy ending. I could write that Eliza didn't die and she turned out to be pregnant but that's still not the happy ending I think we're all hoping for. Unfortunately, there's really no way to escape the tragedy of this tale and I could find no way to write an alternative ending.

The ending I wrote felt right. And of course, it keeps close to cannon. I attempted to keep this story as cannon as possible. Every book title or shop mentioned in the story are from Rowling's world. I did extensive research to keep things canon. I still received some backlash that Regulus' character wasn't following the description that Sirius gave throughout the books. But this just wasn't feasible. There'd be no story at all if I kept him completely the same.

And quite frankly, I like my version of Regulus. He was clearly misunderstood and he was an unsung hero by the end of the books. I wanted to shine light on this Regulus. Work through what he actually may have been going through. How much having a person in his life such as Eliza would have changed his world view.

I'd like to discuss my decision on putting Eliza in Hufflepuff. It did feel strange to me. I have always been a Gryffindor and it felt strange to write from another house. Not to mention the research I had to do on the Hufflepuff House. But for starters, I think I always planned on Eliza being a Hufflepuff; she just fits. And I couldn't very well put her in Gryffindor. I was well aware that this story would parallel any SnapeXLily and I wanted to stay away from that. I wanted my story to be original. Not to mention, I am sooo against LilyXSnape.

But while I wrote my Hufflepuffs, I wanted to shine light on the fact that Hufflepuffs are a unique House. They aren't defined by a single attribute like the other Houses. Eliza was crafted to represent every House. She has the bravery, the ambition, the cunning; I wanted to roll them all into one person. I also had my other characters reflect other Houses, but that they still wound up in Hufflepuff. Parker and Em represented Gryffindor. Midge represented Ravenclaw. Jack represented Slytherin. And Arthur represented kind of what we all stereotypically think of when we think of Hufflepuff. But these Houses didn't define them. They were placed in Hufflepuff to prove that everyone needs a bit of all these Houses to truly be well-rounded. That having a mix of all these attributes make a hero.

I always had Parker's future determined as well. I chose his last name on purpose. If you remember to book 5, when Moody is going through the photo of the original Order, he mentions Marlene McKinnon, a gifted witch whose entire family was wiped out by the Death Eaters. I was always curious if anyone would pick up on this easter egg.

Parker was always meant to be the knight in shining armor. He was placed to offset Regulus and emphasize the darkness of Regulus' character. He's crafted this way to make a nod to the typical romance Eliza might see in her stories. The knight in shining armor but that the girl often chooses the brooding character with demons.

And while I loved Parker's character, it seemed everyone was still loyal to Regulus. I guess this means I did a great job in molding Regulus' character to be someone worthy of Eliza's love. I also never exactly planned that Eliza and Parker would pursue a relationship. In my mind, Parker was always supposed to be that one male friend, perfect in every way but that we simply don't have feelings for. But the inevitability of it is also a theme of this story and I have no regrets. In fact, I just feel bad for poor Parker. While Eliza loved him in a way, to her, it was always Regulus. And then he perished in a war that seemed to snuff out the light in the world.

Eliza's love for romance novels solely existed to emphasize the theme of the story. That Regulus really was a hero. It wasn't the original theme of the story, to be honest. I had other titles and ideas that circled around Eliza and Regulus' love story. But in the end, I fell in the love with this idea and so it stuck.

Another theme in this story was mental illness. It was not something I had originally planned for, but it came perfectly as the story progressed and I found myself going back and editing the early chapters to fit it in. I chose Eliza's anxiety as a type of handicap so she wouldn't be 'the perfect hero'. Kind of in the same way Rowling gave Harry glasses so that her hero wasn't perfect. But it also made sense. Growing up in the household she did, self esteem issues and anxiety would have naturally developed. I myself struggle with a slew of mental illnesses and I enjoyed working this into the story. I enjoyed watching Eliza overcome this in times, and felt for her in the times that it took over. But this does add to the overall strength of her character.

Are you all sick of the notes yet? I would like to quick mention a few facts about Eliza that I couldn't find a way to make scenes out of in the story that didn't seem like I was forcing them in there. I never wanted parts of the story to feel forced, and so if it didn't fit, I didn't put it in.

Eliza's boggart was something I wanted to show, but just couldn't find a way. I didn't write much about their lessons except in the beginning. Eliza's boggart takes the form of her father, demeaning her in the way she grew up with. Telling her she'd never be good enough, that her magic didn't make her important or special, that she was weak because of her gift. This is supposed to represent Eliza's fear of failure. This was the main concept she learned from her father. Due to the self-esteem troubles he crafted within her, Eliza always worried that she would fail. That her father was right and that even though she had magic, she was worthless.

Amortentia is the strongest love potion in the world. The smell of the potion varies from person to person and is dependent upon what each individual finds appealing. I probably could have worked this into the story, but not in a way that held significance. And I was very cognoscente in this story that everything I wrote had some kind of significance. I could have used it to emphasize Eliza's attraction to Regulus, like Hermione did in book six, but it just didn't seem important. So I kept it as a trivia fact to post here. For Eliza, she smells old books, antiseptic and the smell of chocolate that reminds her of Cauldron Cakes. Quick note there, reading back I noticed in my first chapter she actually bought Regulus a pumpkin pasty! UGH! Also I noticed that Fanfiction wasn't posting names properly! If I didn't put a space after a period in a name like when using Mr, the name wouldn't show. Was I going to go back and edit this? Nope.

I did write a scene in chapter 17 where Sirius and Eliza talk about Regulus' favorite treat. I wrote how it used to be something else, but overtime changed to Cauldron Cakes. This was of course a nod to the fact that they became his favorite because Eliza always gifted them to him and they were how they first became friends aboard the The Hogwarts Express. I contemplated deleting this scene after I wrote it, feeling I like it might have that "forced" feeling I mentioned previously. But I kept it in the end. Still I ponder over whether or not it was necessary.

Other trivia:

Eliza's wand is willow with a unicorn hair, 12 ¾ in length slightly unyielding. I poured through all the descriptions of the wands to pick one for a Eliza; it was not a random choice. I chose willow wood because it is great for healing magic and is often attracted to those with insecurity. It finds those with great potential, who never feel like they do not need to learn more. Eliza, no? I chose slightly unyielding to make reference to her strength and dedication; her inability to be swayed from her beliefs. I chose unicorn hair because it is least subject to blockages and fluctuations and is the hardest to turn towards the dark arts. Although, if mishandled, the hair may die from melancholy. Every aspect of Eliza's wand was chosen on purpose.

Eliza's patronus was also selected with care. After much research, I had it narrowed down to a sphynx cat, heron and dolphin. The cat is friendly, intelligent, playful and affectionate. The heron is intelligent and determined and appreciates diversity (this is Rowling's own patronus-but that part was not included in my musings). Lastly, the dolphin's main attributes are intelligence and sociability. "Also known for their playfulness and loyalty, dolphins live and work together in groups to aid the sick and injured and to defend each other from predators. Its incredible intelligence is put to good use in the form of solving complex problems and other such challenges." Obviously, the dolphin overwhelmingly described Eliza and it was no contest in picking this patronus.

Regulus was much harder to determine. He does not have a set patronus by Rowling. I realized this might because he was such a complex character; I spent a lot of time rereading descriptions to come up with his patronus. I almost settled on the crow. Firstly, it's seen as a dark omen (bingo). It is resourceful, ambitious, and cunning. They are goal driven, fearless and smart. Regardless of the fact that this fit Regulus very well, I settled on the borzoi. Why? Because it's a dog. I had it in my head that I really wanted Regulus' patronus to be a dog, to signify his similarities to Sirius. It was pretty much a necessity to me. So despite how well the crow fit, I looked through all the dog breeds to find what might match Regulus the best. "Personal space is very important to the Borzoi. They aren't normally aggressive or display their dominance but will become aggressive if they are handled roughly. Borzois are reserved around new people but are really loving around those they are comfortable with." While the crow still fit very well, I chose the borzoi as I could match it Regulus at a decent level and it was a dog.

More facts! Midge was originally supposed to be a half blood with a pureblood mother and half blood father. I later changed her to being a muggleborn, but I still wanted her to have links to the magic world so I decided that she would be muggleborn but that her maternal aunt was a witch so that Midge would still understand the wizarding world quite well. Arthur is muggleborn, but had an older bother who is a wizard as well. I don't know why I decided on this as his brother didn't have much to do with the story. Jack was also supposed to play Quidditch as a chaser but I cut this for some reason. Parker and Em were always meant to play Quidditch. Pattie, Em's girlfriend, also plays Quidditch for the Gryffindor team. I don't believe this was mentioned in the story.

Original title ideas included: The Enigma of Black, Ambiguity (which became the title of chapter one) and a little while after that came A Thing for Heroes.

Penelope, Eliza's mother, had several changes throughout the story. Her last name was changed to Fawcett just before publishing. While I knew something would have to happen to her, it took me a while to decide what. I considered having her disappear and be presumed dead. I thought about having her be captured but escape to 's. Here is where she would pass and I considered using this to give Eliza her drive to become a Healer.

I would say that writing Eliza's and Regulus' story was a bit challenging. Writing Regulus was a balance. He lived in two worlds essentially. The one he'd always known and the one with Eliza in it. Fans would sometimes remark that Eliza was stupid for not seeing how Regulus really was. Or wishing they had Regulus' POV throughout the story. However, the fact that Regulus is such a complex character made this unfeasible. Throughout the story, he is constantly torn and, frankly, isn't sure how he feels. While his whole upbringing was to lead him to the dark side, Eliza muddled his dedication. While part of him retained the values he'd been raised with and fostered by his House, Eliza made him doubt all of this. He is uncomfortable with hurting others, and I believe Rowling tried to portray this in her writing as well. He does remark to Eliza that he did not choose his House, or his Housemates, but in a way he did. I believe he truly wanted to end up in Slytherin to uphold family tradition. And he did fit in there. But knowing that their actions hurt Eliza and went against her beliefs made it confusing to him whether or not he truly believed what his classmates did. The point of Regulus is that we don't truly know what it is going on in his mind. And frankly, it's because he is confused as well. He likes the idea of a wizard-ruled world, but seems to shy away from the dark acts that would make this possible. This is mentioned in book 5 by Sirius when he states he believes Regulus got cold feet when he realized what he'd be asked to do.

Once again I'd like to mention that people remarked how stupid Eliza was for not realizing where Regulus was headed. But to her, it was not as black and white as it is to us. She didn't see Regulus as just a pureblood or a Slytherin, she saw how he acted towards her. And she believed that his willingness to be such close friends with her must speak to some kind of confliction with his prior beliefs. Also, we forget that Eliza does have her self-esteem issues, despite the strength of her character. I believe she felt some kind of honor at being Regulus' friend. And how could she see him as bad when he came to her the night her father displayed he'd rather have nothing to do with her. To me, this is a familiar theme in my own life. Ignoring red flags because we only want to see the good in someone; knowing the way they can be. I'm sure the majority of us can remember some instance of this in our own lives.

One last thing that no one commented on but that I was worried would be a problem, was the timeline. In my story, Regulus lives a little longer than he did in the books. I needed more time after Hogwarts and so I kind of skewed the actually dates a little. But I'm not sure that anyone noticed. So…on with the scenes, shall we?

—

Regulus stood at his window, gazing past the pane to the world outside. Snow had fallen without pause yesterday and the street was filled with muggle children chasing each other with snowballs or shaping the snow into forts. But Regulus' eyes were on the sun. It burned a dark orange as it made its descent from the sky, half way through in its mission to set.

The distant laughter of the children faded away as Regulus' mind brought him to another place; to another time when he watched a sun just as bright fall through the sky. Even in the moment, he'd felt suspended in time, like the world had stopped for him. Her head had been on his shoulder. Her scent of vanilla and something sweeter, like honey, enveloped his senses. She made little sighs when she was content and it made his skin tingle. Her hair now tumbled down his body and it glowed in the sun, reminding him of paintings of angels.

What he wouldn't give to be back in that memory. What could he give?

Regulus' gaze moved from the setting sun to his bedroom door. At first glance, an ordinary door. Made of wood, oak probably. But it was not. Not for Regulus. It was the entryway to his fate. A portal to a world that would parallel from the one he'd lived in the past six years.

Six years ago, he dreamed of this day. Pined for it, prepared for it. Faced the world and its challenges solely so he could walk through that damn door.

Now?

Regulus walked to his desk, his fingers skimming over the items that rested there. Normally there were none, but today he had taken them from their homes and placed them here. So that he could see the picture of his life…that would be gone with that setting sun.

There were pictures. Several were from the Slug Club parties over the years. He saw the changes in their bodies and faces as they aged. But her eyes had never changed. In every picture she looked up at him and smiled before smiling back at the photographer. Her eyes always glowed. He'd never quite noticed it before, but he recognized that look now; adoration. First year, second year, forth year…she had the look in every one.

His favorite picture was framed. It was fall and they were surrounded in trees, their leaves blood red and orange. She was hugging him around the neck. She was swaying in the picture. Had she been doing it that day? He couldn't remember. But the colors around them brought out the color of her eyes.

He skimmed over a box beside the pictures. It contained every letter she wrote to him; her handwriting as familiar to him as his own. She always wrote her name in cursive.

Beside that, a statue, beautifully made. When he had picked up the box that contained them after she'd dropped them in the corridor, he feared he'd never be able to fix them. But he did. It was so easy. It was like her magic melded with his and the pieces molded themselves back perfectly.

He remembered that night. Remember the pretty girl in the alcove, though he couldn't remember her name. She'd been flirting with him all evening. It had felt awkward and the conversations were flat. But he remembered looking over to see Eliza laughing at something McKinnon had said. He felt stung, but he didn't know why. The way she was smiling…she smiled like that for him. Then he felt it. Jealousy.

An emotion that was not familiar to him. It hit him hard, like a powerful stinging hex. The sight made him want to pull McKinnon away from her. But he was confused. Maybe he'd made a mistake. Maybe she looked at all her friends like that. And that's why she looked at him like that. Because they were friends.

It was hard for him to describe Eliza. Perhaps normal people would say she was his best friend. But she was more than that. She was a blinding light that illuminated the shadows in him, that made him afraid of those shadows. She was a constant, always at his side, whether he realized he needed her there or not. He had a connection with her that he'd not found in any other human being. She was almost like an extension of him that he needed in his life.

There'd always been something about her, ever since they met on The Hogwarts Express all those years ago. Regulus had always been a solemn child. He preferred to be on his own. He'd rather bury his nose in a book than carry on a conversation. His mind was always reeling, trying to discern puzzles even when one was not blatantly available. He'd never needed companionship, and aside from his younger years with Sirius, he'd never wanted it. He was different.

But the minute she had introduced herself, Regulus realized that Eliza was different too. She looked at him like he was a puzzle, one she wanted to solve. She looked at him brightly and keenly, as if analyzing everything he did. Her focus on him, at first, alarmed him. But the more she prodded and pried, the more he discovered he enjoyed their interaction. He felt a connection to her and he thought it was different.

But as he watched her then, a fire burned in his gut. It confused him. And it frustrated him. He felt like there was something he wasn't understanding…and it clenched in his gut over and over. And so when the pretty older Slytherin whispered in his ear: "Let's find somewhere more private", he followed. Away from the confusion. Away from frustration.

Regulus had never kissed anyone before. Her lips were soft and tasted of the punch Slughorn always had at his parties. She smelled of some type of flower and he found himself wishing she smelled like something different. Maybe vanilla. He liked that smell.

She pushed against him, her lips hungry against his and he found his mind wandering. Kissing, after all, didn't seem to be very entertaining. His lips moved mechanically against hers as his mind shifted through thoughts. He wondered if all girls had soft lips. He wondered if Eliza had soft lips.

What a stupid thought, he chided himself. Why were his thoughts all over the place?

So lost in his scattered thoughts was Regulus that he didn't notice the presence of someone else. He was jarred for a minute when the girl broke away, turning towards the corridor.

"Uh…can we help you?"

Regulus glanced over to find Eliza. There was a brightly wrapped box clutched to her chest, but it only caught his eye for a moment. What he really saw was her face. She looked as though he had struck her. Her mouth was shaped in a small 'o' and her eyes were wide. But the look in her eyes… he didn't understand what they were saying but he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He immediately felt sick. He'd hurt her. He didn't know how, or why, or how he knew, but he knew it. He wanted to take it away, but his mind was reeling with confusion.

Parker was tugging on her free hand. "Eliza…Eliza let's go."

Regulus glanced at McKinnon. His face was filled with concern and he was looking at Eliza with a sort of desperation. As if snapped from a trance, Eliza jerked and her package fell to the ground. Regulus heard something shatter. It echoed in his head, clearing his thoughts. But his mind was blank.

Eliza turned on her heel and marched McKinnon down the hallway until they were out of sight. Regulus looked down to the package that lay on the ground.

"What the hell was that about?" The Slytherin asked, turning to Regulus with an annoyed look on her face. But Regulus wasn't paying any attention. He stepped out of the alcove and scooped up the package. Whatever was inside rattled and it sounded broken.

"Regulus," the girl huffed.

Regulus blinked and looked to the girl. He glanced down at the package and then back at her. "Thanks for the lovely evening."

And he left her standing there, her face contorted in shock and rage. Regulus didn't care. He made his way back to his room to see what he had broken.

That memory now seemed almost silly to him. How could he not have seen? Not understood? She'd been just like him back then. With this connection and not knowing what it meant. If only he'd kissed her then.

Lastly, Regulus picked up the book he'd been given not days before. He'd read it, as requested, but he wished he hadn't. Eliza had given this to him on purpose. As he read the lines, he could picture Eliza saying them. Could picture her in the scenes. It's what she had wanted, to let him know how much she loved him.

And he was going to break her heart.

He should have ended it on that platform. But he was weak. He couldn't fathom never seeing that look in her eyes again. Couldn't imagine a world without her laugh or her smile. Because he loved her. He loved her so much it hurt.

Regulus has never really understood love. He hadn't needed to. It wasn't exactly a theme in his house. And from a young age Regulus knew what would be expected of him. He was to learn and serve and when the time came, his mother would make a match for him. She'd be related to him in some way, perhaps a second cousin. They'd marry and that would be it.

His mother loved him, he knew. Perhaps unconditionally, but he had never been willing to test it. He grew up listening to who she wanted him to be. What she wanted him to do. Would she still love him if he defied these? Something told him that perhaps, that unconditional love wouldn't be so unconditional. Would she see him as Sirius?

His mother would go on and on about how Sirius had broken her heart. But she never seemed heartbroken. Not in the way he imagined heartbreak looked like. Not the way he'd seen Eliza look or behave when she'd been heartbroken. Rather…his mother just seemed angry.

But Sirius…he was happy. Sirius hadn't spent the last month barely able to eat. Feeling like he was walking to his own death. Feeling so hopeless. So weak.

Regulus closed his eyes. When had he become so weak? When he was with Eliza, he felt stronger. But without her, he felt incomplete. He felt helpless when he couldn't help her. She was his weakness.

There was a knock on the door. Regulus immediately opened a drawer to his desk and slid the items into it just as the door opened.

"Regulus…everyone is waiting for you."

Regulus looked up to find his mother approaching him. He stood where he was, waiting for her to reach him. When she did, she gazed at him fondly. Her face looked softer than it had in years and it transported Regulus to the days he would sit in her lap and she would sing to him.

His mother reached out, cupping his face with her hand. "I am so proud of you. Your father and I are both so proud."

Regulus watched her eyes roam over him with pride. He'd craved this his whole life. But now all he could think about was Eliza. How much he wished it was her standing there. He couldn't almost see her standing there, smiling up at him. Pride in her eyes not because of the decision he was following, but because he was him. And she loved him.

His mother smiled at him, caressing his cheek before letting go. "You remember I always told you that you would do great things."

Regulus remembered. They were his earliest memories. Sitting in his mother's lap as she recounted the great things the Blacks had done. The ancient line that he would follow and contribute to. He remembered listening in awe, imagining the great things he would do.

Now that time had come and he felt sick. It was time to make his sacrifices and he wasn't ready to. For the first time in his life, he wondered what it would be like to be like Sirius, to walk out that door and away from his destiny. To leave this world behind and clutch Eliza in his arms. To never have to let go again.

Regulus breathed deeply through his nose. "I'll be down in just a moment, Mother."

She smiled at him again, placing a kiss on his forehead before taking her leave. He watched her go. He could visualize her moving down the stairs and into their seating room. She would graciously offer beverages to the men there. Dangerous men. Vipers with masks who were waiting for him amongst his family.

Regulus looked down to his wrist and gently touched the charm there. He watched until it flashed. But the warmth and serenity it usually filled him with did not surface. Rather, grief washed over him, filling him with emptiness.

Carefully, he removed the bracelet. He deposited it in the drawer he'd closed only moments ago and it rested alongside the memories he'd gathered throughout the years. He almost felt his weakness take him. But he swallowed against his throat, stood a little straighter and closed the drawer. The vision of closing the drawer on her smiling face filled his mind as he made his way to the door, to his fate, and stepped through.

—

Regulus had never realized how dark Hogwarts really was. The torches that lined the wall at night were dim and barely illuminated the hallway. He'd never noticed how cold and drafty the castle was either. He never realized he'd been seeing light all these years…until it was gone.

The vision of Eliza peering down at him in the snow before disappearing into the castle haunted his dreams at night. It replayed over and over behind his eyelids, keeping him from sleep. Sometimes he would wake thinking she was there beside him…but of course she wasn't.

After the night that Sirius had revealed him, Regulus hadn't seen Eliza in a week. She didn't show up for any classes. She never came down to eat. The thought of her coiled up in bed, wasting away was constantly on his mind. When she finally started coming to classes again, she would never look at him. She looked pale and her eyes were always red. There were bags under her eyes and a haunted looked within them, like she was never truly where she physically was.

It killed him to see her like that. To know what he'd done to her. But he repressed it all. He numbed himself against his pain. That's when he started to see the world in a new light. Or, lack thereof anyway. It had taken him some time, but he'd had much longer to prepare. Because he'd lied to Eliza.

He wasn't sure why he had. He knew that she couldn't be with him. That she would never accept the choice he made. He knew she'd find out at some point. But when she was in his arms, he couldn't bare to let her go.

He remembered the night when she had asked him if his mother would ever let him marry her. When she giggled over the idea of their children. It had stuck with him for days. The thoughts became obsessive. Eliza in a white dress. What their children would look like. He envisioned a little girl with curly black hair and eyes the color of molten gold.

He almost thought he was going insane. He felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside. In truth, he'd never even thought about marrying Eliza. He was sixteen and the idea had never occurred to him. And now it wouldn't leave him. After the third night of no sleep, he almost thought he could hear children's laughter when he was alone.

Things got easier for him as time passed. Eventually he could sleep again. He started eating full meals again; only glancing once in a while at the Hufflepuff table, only vaguely noticing that Eliza barely touched her food. That her face was too thin.

But well after he'd adjusted to his new life, he started noticing Eliza again. He would hear her laugh in class. And when he noticed Eliza, he noticed McKinnon. He was always at her side. He'd see him take her hand under the desk. Saw them whisper against each others ears.

He tried to block it out. Constantly he reminded himself of the life he had chosen, and what he had sacrificed. He lived as he once did, alone. It was better this way, he told himself. It had to be this way. He couldn't defy his destiny.

Time and time again he went over in his mind if he'd made a mistake. But in the end, he knew this life was inevitable. His family was too integrated in the Dark Lord. His House was too integrated…and they knew about Eliza. If he'd chosen to take his brother's path, she would have paid the price. And he had to content himself with the fact that at least she was safe.

But then the rumors started. The first time he heard someone say to their friend that Eliza was dating Sirius, he'd threatened the Ravenclaw so harshly that she burst into tears. He took to noticing their wanderings. Saw them in the library. Saw them walking outside. Was it true? Had she really started dating his brother?

Initially, he felt as though someone had torn at his heart with a knife. How could she do this to him!? She had already moved on? And with Sirius? He let the heartbreak go and embraced anger instead. It fueled him, kept him going. Kept him sane. Until the night one of his peers approached him in the Common Room.

"Do you think they're sleeping together yet?" He had smirked.

His fellow Slytherins had always tried to get a rise out of him when it came to Eliza. They had seen it first; the threat she posed to his assimilation with Lord Voldemort. He'd always let it roll off his back. But not that night. The thought of Sirius touching her the way he had. Seeing her only the way that he had.

No one made that mistake again. Not after Regulus had abandoned his wand and smashed the Slytherin's face in so bad Madam Pomfrey had to mend it.

His peers hadn't much to do with him after that. His primal display only endeared them to the thought that he would never be one of them after all. That a girl was more important than the world they were trying to create.

In bed at night, he would curse them in his mind. How dare they question his loyalty. Had they any idea what he had sacrificed? The future he'd let go of? The future he told himself every evening and every morning that he did not want. But every time he saw her, his heart clenched in his chest and the regrets took over.

It took him a long time to move past these regrets. To put them in the back of his mind. To banish them from his thoughts. But in the end, it was folly. In the end, his regrets would haunt him until his final moments.

—

Time was frozen. He stared up at her, not at the wand pointed at his chest, but at her face. She was still so beautiful. But her face was frozen in horror. Her face was pale and he thought she might vomit. He should stun her…but she'd disarmed him. He should rush her. Do something. She was his enemy.

But she's not your enemy, his traitorous heart whispered. She is the woman you love. She is the half of you that is missing.

Seeing her face again, after so long brought forth a hurricane of emotions he'd buried so deep and for so long he thought they no longer existed. But they did and his heart was pounding in his chest. His mouth was dry. They were surrounded in death and battle and all he could think about was rushing to her.

So weak. So weak, his mind said. After all these years, he was still as weak as a sixteen year old boy.

"Eliza!" The call of her name broke the trance and turned her attention to James. Sirius shot a spell at Regulus' partner and he flew back against the wall beside him.

"Eliza! What are you doing!?" Sirius came to her but he stopped short when he caught sight of his brother. Grey eyes met grey eyes.

An entire conversation played out in their eyes. Sirius' were filled with pain. Why? He seemed to be asking. But Regulus didn't have an answer. His mind was filled with the woman before him. She was like a blinding light he could not avoid. Sirius must have seen it. The pain, the regret, the agony of seeing her.

But the facts remained. He slouched there in his robes in a home they had attacked. He didn't take the life, but he didn't stop his partner from doing so. Every time it happened, it shot a jolt through his body. It made him feel sick, but he showed no weakness.

James came hurrying over and Regulus knew his time was up. He spared himself one last glance at Eliza, who looked like she might break down in tears at any second. It flooded Regulus with more emotion. She still loved him.

But one last glance was all he had before he grabbed his defeated partner and disappeared. His last vision of the house Eliza's glazed eyes and the heart-wrenching grief she'd never been able to hide.

—

Regulus' bedroom was slightly smaller than Sirius', though it had the same sense of former grandeur. Whereas Sirius had sought to advertise his difference from the rest of the family, Regulus had striven to emphasize the opposite. The Slytherin colors of emerald and silver were everywhere, draping the bed, the walls, and the windows. The Black family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto, TOUJOURS PUR. Beneath this was a collection of yellow newspaper cuttings, all stuck together to make a ragged collage. Hermione crossed the room to examine them.

"They're all about Voldemort," she said. "Regulus seems to have been a fan for a few years before he joined the Death Eaters. Hm…although he seems to be missing some dates right before his demise…"

A little puff of dust rose from the bedcovers as she sat down to read the clippings. Harry, meanwhile had noticed another photograph; a Hogwarts Quidditch team was smiling and waving out of the frame. He moved closer and saw the snakes emblazoned on their chests: Slytherins. Regulus was instantly recognizable as the boy sitting in the middle of the front row: Had had the same dark hair and slightly haughty look of his brother, though he was smaller, slighter and rather less handsome than Sirius had been.

"He played Seeker," said Harry.

"What?" Said Hermione vaguely; she was still immersed in Voldemort's press clippings.

"He's sitting in the middle of the front row, that's where the Seeker…Never mind," said Harry, realizing that nobody was listening: Ron was on his hands and knees, searching under the wardrobe. Harry looked around the room for likely hiding places and approached the desk. There was a picture frame there and Harry picked it up, wiping away the heavy layer of dust on the glass pane.

There were two people in this photograph. Harry recognized Regulus, but there was someone hugging him around the neck. It was a pretty girl, with curly blonde hair. She was smiling adoringly at Regulus before looking up at Harry and waving. Recognition tugged at his memory and he looked at the picture harder, taking in the copper-colored eyes of the girl.

He'd seen her before, in another photograph. The one Mad Eye had given him of the original Order of the Phoenix. Her name suddenly popped into his head. Eliza.

"Eliza Adwell," Moody said, pointing to her smiling form in the picture. She was standing beside a tall male with blonde hair. "Incredibly gifted witch. She was a Healer; saved a lot of lives during her time in The Order."

Harry had frowned then, as he'd done every time Moody pointed out a life that had been snuffed out.

"We've no idea what happened to her. She just disappeared one day. Left no message, no trail. We never found her, alive or dead. She's dead, I'm sure; very dedicated, would never have disappeared willingly; but we never found a body. Very unfortunate."

Harry frowned at the picture of the younger Eliza, alternating between hugging Regulus fondly and waving. What was a dedicated member of The Order doing with Regulus Black? They appeared very close. The way she was looking at him…

Harry replaced the photograph and returned to searching the desk. It had been turned over recently as well, Harry noticed as he searched through the drawers, but there appeared to be nothing of value in them. One drawer caught his attention, however. While most of the drawers contained old quills and out-of-date textbooks, one drawer was filled with items.

A box of letters, all signed by Eliza. A glass statue of a snake. A chain bracelet with one charm attached, it being the same glass snake as the statue.

There was a book; Mon Hero. Harry had never heard of it but it didn't seem like a book Regulus Black would read. He picked it up, flipping through the pages. Writing caught his eye on the last page.

Regulus,

A reminder for the dark days when the clouds are gray and the future seems hopeless. When you cannot see what tomorrow holds, one thing will always be certain: my love for you is as endless as the sighs I'm sure you gave reading this.

With all my love,

Eliza

They'd been in love. But Sirius had told him that Regulus had always dreamed of being a Death Eater. But then…Sirius also believed Regulus died a coward; yet here they were, searching Regulus' room for the horcrux.

Harry glanced back to the message Eliza had written in the book. It was dated the year Sirius told Harry that Regulus had joined the Death Eaters. Harry wondered whether Eliza had known. Had they continued dating? Had they split up? Harry's mind wondered over Regulus' life as he turned his attention back to trying to find the locket.

—

"You called the locket 'Master Regulus''," said Harry, looking down at Kreacher. "Why? Where did it come from? What did Regulus have to do with it? Kreacher, sit up and tell me everything you know about that locket, and everything Regulus had to do with it!"

The elf sat up, curled into a ball, placed his wet face between his knees, and began to rock backward and forward. When he spoke, his voice was muffled but quite distant in the silent, echoing kitchen.

"Master Sirius ran away, good riddance, for he was a bad boy and broke my Mistress's heart with his lawless ways. But Master Regulus had proper pride; he knew what was due to the name of Black and the dignity of his pure blood. For years he talked of the Dark Lord, who was going to bring the wizards out of hiding to rule the Muggles and the Muggle-borns…and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord. So proud, so proud, so happy to serve…

"And one day, a year after he'd joined, Master Regulus came down to the kitchens to see Kreacher. Master Regulus always liked Kreacher. And Master Regulus said…he said…

The old elf rocked faster than ever.

"…he said that the Dark Lord required an elf."

"Voldemort needed an elf?" Harry repeated.

"Oh yes," moaned Kreacher. "And Master Regulus had volunteered Kreacher. It was an honor, said Master Regulus, an honor for him and for Kreacher, who must be sure to do whatever the Dark Lord ordered him to do…and then to c-come home."

Kreacher rocked still faster, his breath coming in sobs.

"So Kreacher went to the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord did not tell Kreacher what they were to do, but he took Kreacher with him to a cave beside the sea. And beyond the cave there was a cavern, and in the cavern was a great black lake…There was a boat…There was a b-basin full of potion on the island. The D-Dark Lord made Kreacher drink it…"

The elf quaked from head to foot.

"Kreacher drank, and as he drank, he saw terrible things…Kreacher's insides burned…Kreacher cried for Master Regulus to save him, he cried for his Mistress Black, but the Dark Lord only laughed…He made Kreacher drink all the potion. He dropped a locket into the empty basin…He filled it with more potion. And then the Dark Lord sailed away, leaving Kreacher on the island.

"Kreacher needed water, he crawled to the island's edge and he drank from the black lake…and hands, dead hands, came out of the water and dragged Kreacher under the surface…"

"How did you get away?" Harry asked.

"Master Regulus told Kreacher to come back."

"So what happened when you got back?" Harry asked. "What did Regulus say when you told him what had happened?"

"Master Regulus was worried, very worried," croaked Kreacher. "He took Kreacher to a Healer. She healed Kreacher and told him that Master Regulus had left and would return. When he did, Master Regulus took Kreacher aside, and Master Regulus was strange, disturbed in his mind, Kreacher could tell…and he asked Kreacher to take him to the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord…Kreacher took him and the Healer to the cave…"

"Wait, why did you take the Healer?"

"She insisted on coming."

Hermione glanced to Harry. "Why would they take the Healer?"

Suddenly something clicked in Harry's mind and the picture of a girl with blonde hair popped into his mind. "Kreacher, was her name Eliza?"

Kreacher glanced to Harry with his aged eyes, as though gauging how he knew. He answered simply, "Yes."

"Who's Eliza?" Ron asked.

"She was a member of The Order," Harry said. "She was a Healer. Mad Eye told me she disappeared one day and they never discovered what happened to her."

"Why would Regulus take Kreacher to a member of The Order?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"Because they loved each other."

He glanced to Kreacher who made a single nod.

Kreacher explained that he had taken the Healer and the Death Eater to the cave. Harry could visualize them quite clearly, the frightened old elf, the thin, dark Seeker who had so resembled Sirius, the gifted witch who had seen what others hadn't…He could see them climb into the boat and sail to the island with its basin of potion…

"And he made you drink the potion?" Said Harry, disgusted.

But Kreacher shook his head and wept. Hermione's hands leapt to her mouth: She seemed to have understood something.

"M-Master Regulus took from his pocket a locket the Healer had purchased that looked like the one the Dark Lord had," said Kreacher, tears pouring down either side of his snoutlike nose. "And he told Kreacher to take it and, when the basin was empty, to switch the lockets…"

Kreacher's sobs came in great rasps now; Harry had to concentrate hard to understand him.

"And he ordered — Kreacher to take the Healer and — leave without him. And he told Kreacher — to go home — and never tell my Mistress — what he had done — but to destroy — the first locket. And he drank — all the potion — and…"

Kreacher trailed off, his chest heaving rapidly, his eyes focused on a scene that they could not see. But Harry could imagine it. He could almost see those pale, decayed hands emerge from the water and drag Regulus into its depths. But then…something was missing.

"But what happened to Eliza? Why didn't she return to The Order? Why didn't say anything about the locket?"

It didn't make sense. Eliza was, by all accounts, a bright and gifted witch. Why didn't she destroy the locket? Why didn't she inform The Order? Why had she gone missing?

Kreacher didn't answer at first as he tried to slow his breathing. The tears still ran down his ugly face. "Master…Regulus…hadn't, hadn't told her about the water…the hands… She stayed at his side…while Kreacher gave him the potion. Kreacher…Kreacher was a good elf… M-Master Regulus had told him…to take her with him… But she wouldn't come. She told Kreacher we…we had to take Master Regulus with us," Kreacher gave a moan. "M-Master…Master Regulus crawled to the water…but she was focused on Kreacher. Kreacher told her there were too many…that we couldn't fight them…but she didn't know what Kreacher was talking about…and then…then…"

Fresh tears fell from the elf's eyes.

"The hands came out of the water…they grabbed Master Regulus…The Healer t-tried to pull him away…but they-they kept coming… She tried to f-fight them…with great waves of f-flames but…Kreacher had t-told her…there were too many…The bodies were…were everywhere…and she…she looked at Kreacher and told him to destroy the locket…and Kreacher saw them…be dragged beneath the water…"

Kreacher was gasping for air, his little chest heaving as the grief poured from him. Mad Eye had been right; Eliza was dead. She'd died trying to bring down Voldemort…trying to save someone she loved. Her and Regulus…they'd died as heroes…and no one had ever known.

—

Despite the fact that Eliza's life was always in danger, she'd never really pictured her death. She supposed she'd hope it would be done with the killing curse. Quick. She definitely never pictured herself under the flailing dead limbs she found herself under now. At least she'd die with Regulus at her side.

She held him as tightly as she could but she could no longer see his face. She was not trained in legilimency or occulomency but she did know a spell. It was one Healers used for those in a manic state; to calm their minds. A calming scene in their mind to free them of any fear or pain. She gripped her wand and performed one last spell.

Eliza was no longer in the dark cave. She was sitting on a couch in homey living room. There was a glass of eggnog in her hands. She glanced beside her to find Regulus. His eyes were on the scene before him. They weren't alone. Sirius, James and Lily sat around a brightly decorated Christmas trees. Their attention was on two children surrounded in brightly wrapped paper that littered the floor.

There was a small girl with long, curly black hair that tumbled down her back. She jumped to her feet, item in hand and skipped over to Eliza and Regulus. Her copper-colored eyes were gleaming with mirth, a giant grin lighting up her face. She was holding a broom, slightly taller than her.

"Mummy! Mummy look!"

Eliza turned narrowed eyes on Sirius, who glanced up to the ceiling and scratched his cheek. "Sirius, I thought we discussed not getting her a broom until she was ten."

"But how will I have enough time to practice?" The girl asked, tilting her head.

Regulus was trying to look stern but his silver eyes were shining. "Did Uncle Sirius tell you to say that?"

"No!" The girl shouted too quickly with her eyes wide.

Regulus tried to hide a laugh and Eliza rolled her eyes.

"Can I go out and try it Mummy? Harry said he would show me what to do!"

Harry was still back by his wrappings, trying to covertly glance at the trio by the couch. He looked just like James. He of course had been flying practically before he could walk. He was a natural, just like James.

"Elladora, it's snowing outside," Eliza said.

Ella frowned, glancing sadly down at her feet.

"I'll take you out tomorrow if the weather is better," Regulus interjected. Ella's eyes lit back up and she jumped into Regulus' arms.

"Thank you, Daddy!" She squealed, planting a kiss on his cheek before dashing back to Harry so they could look over every inch of her present.

Eliza shot Regulus an amused look.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Eliza rolled her eyes.

The scene shifted and Eliza was giving her farewells at the door as Sirius and the Potters made their way into the snowy night.

"I can't believe you gave her a broom," Eliza said to Sirius, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh come on, you know she uses Harrys' anytime she's over," Sirius winked. Eliza huffed but smiled. Sirius smiled. "Let's face it, she takes after her fabulous uncle. She's going to wind up in Gryffindor."

"You keep talking like that and Regulus is going to have an aneurysm."

Sirius chuckled. "He should get used to the idea. Let's face it, in the end, he's not a far cry from a Gryffindor himself."

Eliza glanced over her shoulder to see Regulus on the couch tidying up the room with a flick of his wand. She smiled softly. "Yeah, that's the hero in him."

Sirius rolled his eyes and made a face before he gave a cheeky grin and a wave and disapparated.

Eliza returned to the warmth of her living room. She sat next to Regulus, who had pulled out a cauldron cake to enjoy.

"You know if you keep eating those, even I won't be able to unclog your arteries," she said, amused.

"You're the one who keeps giving them to me, Healer Eliza," Regulus teased.

"Force of habit."

"Well…they are my favorite treat after all."

Eliza smiled softly, her eyes shining with love. She leaned over and planted a kiss on her husband's lips, tasting the hint of chocolate.

"My turn!" Ella suddenly announced, squirming between the pair before plopping herself on Eliza's lap. Eliza laughed, glancing down at her daughter who now had a book clutched to her chest.

"Mummy, can we read this tonight?" She asked, pushing the book into Eliza's hands.

Eliza glanced down and was surprised to find herself holding an old book; it's golden cover slightly faded with age. "Mon Hero?"

"It was on the bookshelf," Ella chirped.

Eliza smiled wistfully, running her fingers across the cover. "This is my favorite book."

Regulus' hand took Eliza's. "Mine too."

—