VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE AT END, PLEASE REMEMBER TO READ. :)

He'd chosen to run away again, just like he always did whenever she utilized her only true weapon against him: his love stole every shred of power from her except the threat of suicide.

But even that, Sakura knew was temporary. It was only a matter of time until the Uchiha found some way to take this choice away from her too. She knew he would eventually find some other obscure, forbidden dark jutsu that would take away her capability to harm herself. Or maybe he would just use the version of her parents inside this world to blackmail her again...

When that happened...

With exactly this on her mind, Sakura burst from her apartment, leaping into the night across tree canopies, eventually out of Konoha, intent to chase after Sasuke.

She had no specific plan inside her mind for confronting him but Sakura just didn't want him to act or do anything on impulse. She knew being around him would result in him attacking her again soon enough but Sakura would rather take the lesser evil of knowing what he would do rather than not knowing what he might do.

Travelling and tracking his chakra by just the faintest sliver, she ended up in a distant neighboring field right when it started to thunder and rain. The night's sky boomed and shook above her in violent overtures that mirrored her internal pain but Sakura welcomed the cool heavy rain like a salve that drenched her clothes in the matter of seconds.

She made no move to even look for shelter because Sasuke Uchiha stood with his back turned and his shoulders slightly hunched before her.

"Why did you follow me?" Sakura somehow heard every syllable of his broken (or angry?) voice above the uproar of the storm.

She trudged through the muddy landscape to stand before him, eye to eye. As soon as their gazes met, Sasuke turned away again but Sakura stopped him by grabbing onto his wrists. "You can't just keep running from me whenever I say something you don't want to hear!"

The Uchiha met her gaze; his coal black irises boring into her lime green ones wholeheartedly in affection for a single long moment–before averting his eyes once again. He tried breaking free from her grip but to his surprise he felt Sakura summon her chakra into her palms so that he couldn't break free unless he too exerted chakra on her.

"Sakura, let go."

"NO!" the rosette yelled directly into his face, needing to crane her neck because of his greater height; her courage was fueled by anger, adrenaline and exasperation for the man. "I followed you to stop you from doing anything reckless Sasuke! I know you and I know you won't stop, regardless of who you have to hurt or kill until you've found some new way to force me once again complacent at your side, am I right?"

Sasuke's handsome visage visibly cringed but didn't reply and Sakura knew that he knew she was right. She swallowed a large lump in her throat before she gathered enough courage for what she had to say next: "I…I'm…I'm willing to stay with you Sasuke."

With the roar of the storm and how much rain had water-logged his ears, Sasuke was sure he must have misheard. His bewildered expression portrayed as such to Sakura so she spoke again, louder this time to combat the storm of the sky: "I'm willing to be with you Sasuke."

His eyes widened in response, having no mistake of what she'd said this time. He would have thought she was some sort of enemy illusion as she continued: "But I have conditions you have to meet!"

A particular explosive and loud thunderbolt boomed through the sky right after her words and Sasuke, with his adept vision, grabbed and pulled Sakura into his hold to avoid the huge bolt that struck exactly the spot she'd been standing in only a second ago.

The rosette's heart jackhammered in her chest from the near frightening encounter and noise but also from Sasuke's sudden proximity. Not having time to comprehend what was happening, Sakura realized that she had been lifted into his arms and was now traveling with him through air, at chakra speed.

Part of her wondered why he didn't use his Rinnegan to move but that curiosity fell in stark contrast to the rest of her turbulent thoughts.

Was she making the right decision? She knew resoundingly the answer was a fervid 'yes' because she really didn't want Sasuke to invoke anything as dangerous or consequential as the Myaels again but…could she really cope, staying willingly by her rapist's side from now until death?

Sakura didn't know but she had to try.

They took refuge in some cave carved out of a mountain's backside, some three miles from the field they had left. Sasuke summoned an invisible chakra wall against the cave's wall to stop the rain from entering, before starting a fire in the center of the cave. Because of his adeptness in fire jutsus, a roaring conflagration beget in seconds to warm the entire interior.

All sense of coherence and logic flew out of his mind when he suddenly felt Sakura's hands on his knees as she knelt down in in front of him next to the fire. The rain had soaked through her light pale pink medic's scrubs and he could see more than enough of her body illuminated through the glow of the fire.

He would have jumped her right then and there again, if not for the dread that filled his chest as his gaze took in Sakura's utterly...forlorn or (exhausted?) expression: the frail shimmering inside her irises –the broken on-the-verge-of-tears expression that somehow didn't detract one bit of her natural beauty. Her soft voice whispered in the small space between them: "I meant what I said Sasuke, I'll stay with you…forever."

Again his eyes widened at this, but only fractionally so, as he wasn't so much shocked as he was elated. His hands came to cradle over hers that still rested above his knees. More hope flashed in through his eyes when Sakura's finger intertwined with his; he opened his lips to speak but the pinkette cut him off: "I have three conditions Sasuke, if you refuse any of them I will kill myself immediately."

His wide eyes appeared to enlarge even further if possible, and Sasuke felt Sakura's chakra once more flood into her palms; he understood now why she had laced her fingers with his, to stop him from possibly running again.

Sakura continued quick, refusing to let him interject: "First, I want you to swear to me that you'll never hurt anyone ever again."

The Uchiha's features tightened in obvious displeasure but the pinkette added quickly: "I'm not saying you can't defend yourself if someone provokes you just…promise to stop taking your anger out on everyone and everything innocent."

The man ruminated on this caveat for a moment before nodding.

Sakura exhaled an audible sigh before relocating one of her hands to cradle his perfect face. "Sasuke, my second condition is that you stop running from me whenever I say or do something you don't like."

Both of them knew it was ridiculous but still true: Sasuke Uchiha had never ran from anything in his life before her, be it obstacle or opponent or difficult subject or whatever. And yet, time and time again, he fled from Sakura whenever she summoned enough courage to confront him.

Was he that unable to cope with her actually having a backbone?

Was it…really so hard to face the truth of his crimes?

Sakura theorized the first while Sasuke ruminated on the second.

"Couples talk things through, Sasuke. If…if you really want me -us to work, you have to put in the effort. You have to be willing to talk to me as an equal. You have to respect me."

The man sat up abruptly, taking Sakura by surprise, though as he opened his mouth, Sakura quickly interjected not wanting to lose her momentum: "Which leads to my last condition: y-you have to STOP FORCING me. I'm not used to-"

Sasuke suddenly grasped her entire face into his palms here, his fingertips intermingled with her hair almost painfully so. Locking gazes with her trembling one, Sasuke whispered his next words almost seethingly: "Sakura I can promise you anything except that; I cannot control myself around you."

He stared into her eyes for a solid second after this statement before dropping his gaze down to her lips...her short frightened exhales blew hotly and uncontrollably against his lips because of their proximity...

His eyes met hers again -before smashing their mouths together. Sakura's had been open so he easily swept his tongue in to ravish the entire cavity, raking every corner and crevice. God she always tasted so addicting...he could never have enough. Every time he touched her just trapped him further in dependency, and he knew this, but what else could he do now that he was already so far gone?

Sakura shrieked in muffled cries through the liplock that got completely ignored by the Uchiha. Only when he'd had his fill did he break the union, leaving Sakura's entire mouth raw red and the rosette completely out of breath. She tried to separate from him but his palms only reinforced their grip so that he could press his forehead against hers while regaining his own lost breaths. The pillowy softness of her skin was like a balm across his rampant mind, calming him but only ever so. He whispered up close and never letting her free herself: "I do respect you Sakura. I started to the moment you saved me."

He licked his lips before continuing: "I just can't…stop myself, control myself, when I see you, whenever you're near me I-"

Even as he spoke, Sasuke could feel his already fairly hard arousal pressing insistently again through his clothes. "I'm willing to do anything for you but don't ask this from me."

"Please."

He added that last part when he saw Sakura inhale sharply.

He hadn't thought of their union as rape for awhile now but it was clear Sakura still did. In the beginning, before he'd accepted his feelings, yes he accepted that's what he'd been doing but...ever since he'd wedded her in the Uchiha Sanctuary Sasuke had thought it was just his conjugal rite. She was his wife after all.

But Sakura clearly didn't share the same thinking and he supposed it was ultimately her decision. But even if he accepted that he was still forcing her...Sasuke knew he wouldn't stop. Couldn't stop. He didn't even fully understand it himself since before her, he'd had almost zero interest in mating with anyone, despite the droves of women that always threw themselves at his feet.

And now...with Sakura, he...was like a man possessed. Wanting always to fill her...always to take her and be enveloped in that soft, wet, cavern...have her spilling with his essence every time he saw her...what had she turned him into? Some insensate degenerated beast? This was all her fault and he would be damned if she didn't take responsibility.

But he knew better than to say that.

He could tell from her eyes that his last word had pierced her resolve more than she'd wanted it to. He just had to push a little more.

Sasuke purposely stared vulnerably into her eyes as one of his hands left the side of her face so that it could come to cover over one of her hands that had settled over his pectorals when she'd been trying to break free of their kiss. He gently squeezed her fingers while whispering his next words: "I respect you. I love you. I can prove it: your parents are alive in this world, aren't they?"

Sakura's eyes expanded to their max height and just as she was about to push him away (and probably scream at him), Sasuke added quickly: "I won't use them against you, I promise."

He never broke eye contact as he continued: "Live for me and I promise not to hurt you or anyone ever again. I'll do anything to atone for my past and make this work. I won't lock you away, I won't keep you for myself again -I swear."

The apparent softness and honesty in his eyes pierced Sakura's heart and she couldn't help contemplating his words.

Essentially he was promising anything except stopping the rape. As shitty as this deal was, Sakura knew this was a much better offer than anything the Sasuke from years ago would have made.

And she genuinely felt gratified, as much as she hated herself for it. Had her standards fallen so much that simply not resorting to emotional coercion was considered a good quality?

Yes.

She had and it was.

Goddamit.

But how could she just agree to a life of rape until death?

And yet, as she thought this, Sakura knew the ultimate end here…because she didn't really have a choice did she? If she pressed her refusal Sasuke would just end up using her parents as blackmail again and he might just retract their entire deal and she'd be right back where she was...imprisoned again, physically and emotionally.

She may have had him at a checkmate but so did he.

Sakura sighed.

"Okay."

Considering he had spent most of his time in the hospital, Sakura found to her great anxiety, that almost everyone in this no-Uchiha-clan Konoha knew about and was fascinated by Sasuke as he walked side by side with her in the market district. To her great discomfort, nearly all heads turned to stare in their direction as they made their way towards the fashion district because, as she'd explained to Sasuke, he needed clothes and she had no set of spare male clothes to give him.

Sakura knew the unwanted attention was mainly because everyone still knew him from that nurse's blog as the "Sleeping Prince" because of his extremely ethereal beauty. Even now as he passed stall after stall of varying merchandise (but none of clothes), housewives, single young ladies, little girls and even a significant amount of men all turned to stare with heart shaped eyes towards the stoic man.

Not that it seemed to have any effect whatsoever on the Uchiha as he just passed each of them without sparing even a glance, Sakura observed quietly next to him.

Was this how it'd been for him when he'd been a terrorist traveling the world? Surely, his photogenic features would have been hard to keep inconspicuous, or had he just always used transformation jutsus whenever he was in a public setting? Did he even know what effect he had on most people that looked upon him?

If he did Sasuke didn't show it. But that was what he was always like, right? Single minded and tunnel-visioned for only his present objective.

They didn't even really talk as they traveled because Sakura couldn't for the life of herself envision small talk with the man and Sasuke because he was too raptly absorbed in this new Konoha –though he was subtle about showing it.

Having not stepped in open Konoha as a free civilian in years Sasuke genuinely was surprised by the peaceful calm yet lively ambience of the market square. So many children running and playing…so many families smiling and laughing…this was what Itachi had sacrificed everything to protect.

To provide for his future.

The soothing gentle spring wind blew against his face as they walked and made him feel at peace; his hand that had Sakura's genlty cradled inside of, subconsciously squeezed hers ever so slightly for a moment before releasing.

He didn't even know he'd done it and stayed aptly absorbed in his surroundings as Sakura's heart fluttered abruptly from the action.

The pinkette's doe like green eyes stared at his profile gently, thinking he'd done it on purpose. When had he learned such subtle romantic overtures? She couldn't help wondering. Her mind wandered to the past when she'd done everything in her power to gain the boy's favor…hadn't one of her fantasies been exactly this? Just walking hand in hand with him down a lively Konoha street?

Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun wait for me! Sasuke-kun stop!

Ugh, how she hated remembering that past side of herself…what a simpleton she'd been, completely insipid and devoid of emotional intelligence. If she had been the Uchiha, she would have rejected her past self every time too.

Sakura shook her head in present time, trying to rid herself of those unpleasant reminisces. Focus on the present. On her present…their present.

Sasuke was taken aback when he suddenly felt Sakura's fingers interlace with his inside their hold. He stopped point blank in the streets, flushed face shooting down to look at their hands and intending to address the change, but he was stopped by a loud "Ooomph!" behind him.

Because of his sudden stop, a plump little child with flat half-coconut shaped hair that had been too focused on eating his plate of takoyaki had bumped into Sasuke's backside and the entire serving had fallen onto the dirty market ground.

Immediately, the rotund boy started bawling in the street with all his might. And he was loud.

Sasuke immediately fell into "fight or flight" mode at the unexpected discord. His entire body tensed like it was being tortured. Good god, were all children this noisy? He was about to yell for the boy's clearly negligent parents to come collect him when he saw Sakura kneel down and calm the weeping boy. She gently shushed and embraced the kid before hushing him in soft rhythmic tones as she rubbed his back from top to bottom.

It worked like a charm. Soon the kid was sniffling and wiping away his tears as Sakura led him to a nearby stand serving ikayaki, or grilled squid, cooked by a kind looking old man.

The pinkette ordered a stick for the boy and then as an afterthought one for herself too. She contemplated getting one for Sasuke but part of her had reservations still from the many past childhood instances of being coldly rejected by the boy whenever she offered him any kind of food. And always being coldly rejected.

No, he probably didn't even like squid. Or if he did, he's probably not hungry. He'd just reject it either way.

Meanwhile Sasuke who had been watching silently from close behind the two of them wondered the exact opposite: how come she hadn't asked if he wanted one? How come she hadn't offered him one? Had she just forgotten about him? Absurd jealousy filled him towards the fat lard whose hand was still monopolizing Sakura'sas they waited for their order to finish grilling.

Their child would never be overweight, he'd make sure to train them into the most skilled shinobi they had the potential to be, which judging by Sakura's innate chakra control, his high chakra reservoirs and adept jutsu manipulation, their children were almost guaranteed to be prodigies.

Well, virtually all Uchihas were prescient from birth but theirs would be on a whole other level. Just like Itachi or Shisui.

And suddenly his mind was filled with no other thoughts except filling Sakura to the brim to ensure their progeny's existence. Seeing her with such a gentle maternal instinct and manner, for even a stranger's child, had made Sasuke want nothing more in the present than to see her as a mother for their children.

Sakura felt an uncomfortable prickling sensation in the back of her neck suddenly, and without needing to turn around, she knew what Sasuke was thinking –and wanted from her. Oh…god. She subconsciously gripped the child's hand tighter without realizing it and silently prayed for the grilling to take a little longer while she thought of how to get him to calm down.

They were in public for god's sake! She wondered if he wouldn't even care where he took her when he was this excited. If he did take her in public and anyone dared to say a word against him he would most likely cut them all down…

The squids finished cooking and the plump child was elated when the pretty pink aunty handed him both sticks, he had gratefully taken them both and was already chowing down on one when he turned to say thank you only to see the pink haired aunty being led forcefully away by the scary mean man that had ruined his takoyaki in the first place.

"Sasuke not here! We-" her words got cut off by his fierce tongue as their lips joined. The man had led her to a secluded alleyway and had promptly pushed her against the grimy brick wall before forcing his entire body onto hers. He kissed her like he always did: intensely and without inhibition, like she was the only thing he could survive on. At the same time, his hands moved to fumble with the zipper of her pants and in a second he had them undone so that he could stick his left hand unabashedly into her underwear. She was dry and Sasuke made a mental note to make this union much better than the last time. This time he would make sure she was ready beforehand.

His mouth left her lips to nuzzle and kiss her earlobe while his right hand groped and kneaded her soft breasts alternately. Sakura took that opportune time to whisper urgently: "Sasuke! There are people here!"

The boy answered in the same tone and urgency but for entirely different reasons into her ear: "I've placed a genjutsu around this alley, no one can enter or even remember it's here right now. Don't worry."

Sakura internally groaned. Ugh of course. She should have known.

Sasuke whispered more: "I won't share your beauty with anyone, Sakura. You're mine and mine alone."

Sexism. Sexism. And more sexism, Sakura thought to herself silently, feeling both euphoric and suffocated by his possessiveness at the same time.

She had known she was a bit masochistic to some degree from the moment Sasuke first rejected her and she still loved him but she had never thought she was one to this extent: that being this overtly objectified and…and owned would still bring her heart fluttering sporadically. Was she that insecure about herself still? That she needed such overt desiring to make herself feel valued and important?

Sakura hated this and knew that at least in some part, her masochism had played a part in her decision to give him another chance. A mix of Stockholm syndrome and masochism…and exhaustion.

Why was she so weak? Why couldn't she be strong and stay hating him for the rest of her life? Why couldn't she have just chosen death without a single shred of hesitation knowing she would never see the man again?

And yet, as self-loathing as she was about this facet, Sakura did feel some hope in herself for the hate she felt for the man and the fact she still hadn't forgiven him for everything he'd done. Everything he was still doing.

She groaned as the man forced her pants down –she had to grab onto them by her knees so that they wouldn't get dirtied by the wet garbage and cigarette strewn alleyway floor- before he turned her so that her back came facing him.

Sakura didn't like this position but knew that voicing any objection was pointless. She merely stayed silent as he continued fondling her breasts and fingering her with meticulous dexterity. He knew her body in and out…so naturally had no problem in arousing her -last time he had just been too starved and desperate after waking from his coma to have the patience to do so.

Soon, Sakura's entrance was weeping bountifully and Sasuke slid in easily in one movement. She grunted at the pleasant sensation and somewhat discomfort. What a perfect metaphor for their entire relationship.

"Gods Sakura…" he whispered into her ear, voice throaty and rasp with desire. "If I could die happily doing one thing, it would be fucking you."

Sakura winced, not from pain but rather just the fullness and intensity of his thrusts, but Sasuke misread it.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked in concern and to Sakura's surprise his pace slowed down considerably and the kunoichi was genuinely too taken aback to respond for a moment.

Then she shook her head.

"Let me know if I am," he concluded simply before starting their rhythm once again, albeit slower than before. Sakura pressed her eyes close, somehow hating and grateful of his considerate question at the same time.

This is what he has caused you to become. This mess of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Don't fall back in love with him. Don't forgive him. He doesn't deserve it.

Sakura didn't stop herself from reciprocating the mating though, because she might as well get some enjoyment out of this too. She met his thrusts back in tandem with her own as Sasuke's entire body had become flushed against her backside, with just his pelvis moving back and forth.

Sasuke grabbed her jaw and forced her to look backwards when he felt himself nearing his peak. Meeting his intense gaze, Sakura thought he intended to kiss her but found him whispering once more above her lips: "How many children do you want, Sakura?"

Her blood ran ice cold suddenly, significantly diminishing the pleasure she felt. Sasuke didn't realize this and continued before she could reply: "I want as many as possible with you. With your chakra control and my skillset we would make the most perfect shinobis."

He meant the statement as a compliment to both her and their future children but unknowingly to him, it sent Sakura's heart plummeting even more than it already had: was he planning to raise children or an army? Did he only want talented kids? What if they were untalented for any number of possible reasons, would Sasuke abandon –or worse- kill the child? Just because they didn't live up to his standards?

Also, what if she said she didn't want any at all (because she genuinely was unsure but was leaning more towards the zero side), would that trigger his anger? How would he react? Would he…

His increased tempo and incensed shorter thrusts broke Sakura out of her thoughts and she realized he intended to come inside as he always did. Last time she'd performed a quick post-coitus contraceptive jutsu afterwards to rid her body of his unwanted presence, which she realized she would have to do for this time as well.

Until she got herself on some regular contraceptives she would always have to find a quick way to do this because clearly the man was not intending to leave her alone anytime soon.

Actually, it was a miracle she hadn't gotten pregnant during the entire year he'd kept her imprisoned...maybe one of them was infertile? She would find someway to confirm this theory but until she did, Sakura intended to take no chances.

In the short instance since his statement about offspring the pinkette had yet to reply back but the Uchiha didn't notice for his body hit its crescendo only a moment later, sending his mind spiraling in endorphins and the absolute heaven that could only be found inside her. He trembled into Sakura and unabashedly coated her insides with his seed.

Afterwards, with his breathing in shallow rhythms, Sasuke noticed that Sakura hadn't climaxed yet (which he found strange because he'd thought that she'd just been on the verge a few moments ago but didn't think too much into it) and so his hand fell back to playing with her feminine lips –wanting to return the pleasure she'd given him but to his complete surprise, Sakura suddenly flipped around, causing his fingers to slip out.

"Sasuke we should get going before the store closes."

Sakura managed to enact the contraceptive jutsu in the restroom of the used clothing store while she asked Sasuke to try on different clothes.

A part of her had been afraid the man's infamous pride would react in anger that they were shopping at a used clothing store, and the fact that she would have to pay for him since he had arrived in this new Konoha with just the tattered clothes on his back, but to her surprise Sasuke showed no complaint whatsoever. He only stoically selected three shirts and hakama pants, all of dark shades (big surprise) while Sakura excused herself to use the public bathroom.

He did ask to keep the receipt though which Sakura theorized so that he would know exactly how much he intended to pay back. She wondered if it was because of his black-and-white mentality (good/bad deeds had to be returned in equivalency) or was it because of his Uchiha Clan misogynistic teachings?

When she'd researched about the clan before, in the other world, Sakura had read about how seriously oppressive the male dominated clan tended to be. Even if a prodigy female was born and trained as a shinobi she was usually always encouraged to marry and adopt the housewife mentality so that she could transfer her talents to her children –ideally boys. And if they were not boys, the cycle would just continue until it was.

That's why there hadn't been any kunoichi as famous as Madara, Izuna, Shisui, Itachi etc; it's not that they hadn't existed or been as skilled (or more) than those four but just rather they had always been encouraged to forego ambitions of legacy for ambitions of motherhood.

A cursed clan…in more ways than Sasuke could ever know. Even if she explained her research to him, she doubted he would understand.

Sakura felt even more squeamish at the concept of begetting Uchiha children now; would Sasuke care as much for a female as he would a male? She doubted he would overtly abandon or neglect any of them but…would he treat and see them equally?

These were all questions Sakura was afraid to think of or even ask Sasuke because what if he overtly answered no? She didn't know how she would react in that situation. Could her will match his in terms of confrontation? No…maybe as an adolescent with Naruto and her friends she had the strength and courage but her long term abuse with Sasuke had…really diminished her willingness to stand up for herself –too instinctively afraid of his explosive anger and punishments...

Even now, she had to consciously remember that she had some power over the man before she could even think up any sort of comeback…

Which was another obstacle standing in the way of her giving him children. What would happen when Sasuke wanted something for their child but Sakura knew it was a bad idea? If history taught her anything, Sasuke didn't have a very high EQ and social cognition and he could very well teach this to their offspring through unintentional enabling. Even if she voiced her opposition Sasuke could still override her because she knew that her will could not match Sasuke's in the long run and he would eventually have his way.

What if she gave birth to another Sasuke or Madara? Another unstoppable plague across the shinobi world…

Oh. Oh god.

As they walked home with their purchases, with all these worries on Sakura's mind –she made the concrete decision that she would never bear Sasuke's children. She just couldn't risk it. There were too many variables out of her control.

Now, she just had to think of a way to break her decision to the man that would undoubtedly not react well to… Until she figured out how to do this, Sakura knew she had to quickly get on birth control, something undetectable for Sasuke…

So lost in her thoughts, Sakura moved utterly like a robot up the stairs to her flat. She had unlocked and stepped through the door without even realizing it. Only when Sasuke suddenly had her pinned against the closed door, with his firm arousal already pressed tightly into her abdomen through their clothes, yet again, did Sakura drop back to reality.

"Sas-Sasuke, y-you…" she bit her lip, trying to think of an excuse fast. "Let's eat dinner first?"

The man answered by gripping her thigh and wrenching it up around his hip; Sakura sucked in sharply from her shock and fear but the man mistook it for arousal. He whispered gutturally against her lips: "Sakura, I'm hungry but not for food..."

She internally groaned. Of course he was.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR's NOTE:

I'm sorry for the delay in update everyone. I have an extremely stressful boss that has been causing me mental/physical health issues which has been causing me more problems with the boss and so like a negative loop...

I've just been like mentally steampressed and I want to change jobs but I hate my career in general...

I've always wanted to go into art for a career, either writing or painting or something where I don't have a boss breathing down my neck (doesn't everyone I know) but I just don't know how I can make that into a consistent income? Does anyone have any advice?

I know some people ask for donations on or kofi from their readers but I don't want my readers to think bad of me if I were to proactively advertise for this? Please let me know what you think/if anyone would get mad if I were to ask for donations with each chapter update and add a note like that to all previous chapters? If you guys will I won't do it.

Please tell me your opinions but I am very sensitive so please don't be unkind. I always try my best to make my readers happy to the best of my abilities so please be nice to me too.

I know people are waiting on Deauti and I...am working on it but like stress from work/life has somewhat (not completely) obliterated my inspiration for the story but I have notes I wrote down for it previously so it's not completely dead...I just need to get back into the mental space for it I think.

With or without donations I will always do my best for you guys! Thank you!

Would people be okay if I gave donators on early access to chapters? Something like that? I'm sorry for asking for donations it's just I really hate my job and I want to someday be able to live fully on writing alone. I put all my heart and soul into writing and I want be able to support myself with it.

Please review and leave me your thoughts about this chapter!

What do you think might happen next? Is there anything in particular you want to see happen?