A lot of time and effort went into writing ToM. It took nearly seven months and two name changes to get the whole thing down. Originally, I was going to name it 'The Flow of Time is Always Cruel', or TFOTIAC. Then I decided to change it to 'The Hero of Nothing' because I can't alphabet and thought the acronym was THoR and not ThoN. Then I finally settled on Tears of Memory, because 'Tears' could be interpreted as being synonymous with 'rips' or actual physical tears from crying. Both work in this scenario.

Like I said in the prologue, ToM was largely based on my own experiences in MQ. However, this also came with a vastly different tone. It was supposed to be more playful and taunt itself relentlessly, and that sort of carried over with that whole thing with the Goron Tunic and Grawg in the Lost Woods. Then I realized that I could easily weave a story about overcoming one's demons with this as the framework, and the whole thing just sort of spiraled into the magnum opus it is now.

And then for the explanation I feel like you all want: Why is ToM such an emotional roller coaster? To quote Robert Frost, "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader". My original outline for TFOTIAC didn't include any of the twists that are supposed to occur throughout the story, except for Zelda sending him back a second time. I never planned for Ganondorf to attack Hyrule again, nor to kill off Ivan, nor that Link's dad was a traitor, or anything like that. Heck, I didn't even intend for Arn to be mentioned in the story at all. I molded those as I went along, trying to add a narrative that would grip me just as much as the readers. I mean, how is anyone supposed to expect a twist that even the author didn't see coming? The entire story sort of went like this, and then I would have to go back a few chapters to add suitable and subtle foreshadowing. One time, I even went back to the prologue to add a little bit more about the Kokiritarian Fairy Board, just so the reader wouldn't have totally forgotten about it by Chapter XXV. Then I go ahead and mention it in Chapter XVII when Link goes to see the Great Fairy. Chekhov's Gun, people. It was a good way to release Ivan without stirring up a ton of questions, like it would have if I had dropped Link off at the Temple of Time, like I had mainly intended to happen. The side effect of that is I ruined Link's life and thoroughly built up the expectation that nobody remembered again, which isn't all that much of a problem, honestly. It worked out, even if I've probably given you all Stockholm syndrome by now.

There's one huge piece of advice that I will give to any aspiring fanfic writer: Talk to people. If you have a fic that was inspired by another fic, then go reach out to whoever wrote that fic and ask them to give it a read. ChangelingRin (go subscribe to their youtube channel Shalerrin, by the way) did that for me, and it's been fantastic. If Tears of Memory inspired you to write a fic- any fic- just reach out to me. If it's on a fandom that I have any clue about, I'll be happy to give it a read and leave a few reviews here and there. Don't be afraid of us fanfiction writers- we're usually pretty chill, or at least the ones I've interacted with are.

Now, for a segment I like to call the 'Lost Scenes'. There were ideas that I wanted to put into Tears of Memory, but that didn't make the final cut for various reasons. Allow me to run you through a few of them. I'll also be shoehorning in a quick song for each chapter if they fit.

Prologue: I was originally planning to write a communal meal scene which has Link interact with the other Kokiri a bit more, but it took away some of the bite of the confrontation with Mido at the entrance to the Deku Tree, so this got scrapped. Song: Line of Fire by Junip.

Chapter 1: I was contemplating writing a stupid bit about how Ivan convinced Mido to down some vodka in order to get him to move away from the Great Deku Tree, but I didn't write it because alcolohism isn't good. Song: There, There by Radiohead.

Chapter 2: Nothing here. Song: Wrong by Depeche Mode.

Chapter 3: Nothing here. Song: Hurt by Johnny Cash.

Chapter 4: Nothing here. Song: Prayers for Rain by The Cure.

Chapter 5: Still nothing. Song: A Forest by The Cure.

Chapter 6: I wanted to write more about the cows, but I stopped because I do, in fact, value Link's sanity. This isn't at first apparent, what with In and Out and… well, you know, the rest of the story, but I do, I promise. Song: 2 + 2 = 5 by Radiohead.

Chapter 7: I touch on this in the author's note. Song: Halo by Depeche Mode.

Chapter 8: There was a fourth rejected BOTW Guardian that was a giant crab or something, but I totally forgot about it, so I didn't write it until I added it to Chapter XXIX after the fact. Song: Don't Do It from Portal 2.

Chapter 9: Nothing here. Song: Forest Temple from Ocarina of Time. What did you expect? This song is perfect.

Chapter 10: Nothing here. Song: Creep by Radiohead.

Chapter 11: Still nadie. Song: Go To Sleep by Radiohead.

Chapter 12: I was intending to give you guys a party scene, but again, alcohol, so that got nixed. I just allude to the beverages in the next chapter. Song: Disintegration by The Cure.

Chapter 13: Nothing. Song: Stripped by Depeche Mode.

Chapter 14: This one is a weird one. I had a lot of good ideas, but all of them actually made it into the final version. DL and Nierak were the two big ones, but also the Cuccos. Song: Concrete Halls from Minecraft.

Chapter 15: Nothing. I just had a blast writing about everything being on fire. Should I be worried? Around here, though, I wanted to add something about those Raiders from chapter 5, and how they'd all been killed by the new demons (Lynels, Maoqiu, etc.) This was meant to illustrate how these demons were on their own agenda, and were really just there to kill everything. Plus, it would give more of a presence to these demons. I didn't write it because I didn't feel like I had time, as ToM was already becoming a huge monolith at that point. Song: 'Bombs for Throwing At You' from Portal 2.

Chapter 16: Nothing here. Song: Torture by Les Friction.

Chapter 17: I wanted to make Link unwilling to do the Shadow Temple, but I found that it went against his character, so this got nixed. Song: Machete by Moby.

Chapter 18: I wasn't entirely sure how to address the Gerudo, or how Link was going to get out of there after Hookshotting across. Eventually, I just settled on having Nabooru bite the bullet. Before that, though, I had Link warp back to the Shadow Temple with Farore's Wind. But then I forgot about Farore's Wind until I was in editing mode, and I had to go back and explain why Link didn't warp out when he was falling. Song: Munich by The Editors.

Chapter 19: This one was a struggle, mainly to get Link access to the Wastes. His first approach was going to be more direct- walk up and make the trade (song of storms for access). I was also going to have him go forwards in time to first enter the Temple as Adult Link, but then I realized that I could shove in a Wind Waker reference and shoot him out of a cannon. For that reason, Link never learns the Requiem of Spirit, which is a convenient plot point when it comes to chasing Ganondorf in the child timeline. Song: Pyramid Song by Radiohead.

Chapter 20: I thought of making Twinrova a bit more… how should I put this… overt with her advances, but I shut that down because, again, I don't hate Link. Song: Climbing Up The Walls by Radiohead.

Chapter 21: Nothing here. This was just a nice chapter about Link and Malon (and putting Ivan in a jar.) Song: Untitled by The Cure.

Chapter 22: I was going to have Link really struggle with the Forest Barrier because of the whole ignoring-the-ceiling thing, but then I replayed the entire game and realized that the same sort of puzzle exists in the Spirit Temple, so that had to get cut for continuity reasons. I also don't have Link have the defensive buff in his normal playthrough for… reasons. I just wanted Ivan to shine before I, well, killed him off. Song: Star Forge Theme from KOTOR.

Chapter 23: Shield Surfing in OOT is total BS and has no right to exist. I just figured, 'hey, wouldn't this be faster?' I did originally have Link deal with the Redead on his own, then I changed it to Zelda killing the Redead because… Link deserved it for the 0 IQ play from seconds before. Song: Dark Matter by Les Friction.

Chapter 24 [False Epilogue]: This one was… difficult. I spent weeks trying to figure out just how to send Link back in time, while still making sense in the grand scheme of things. I eventually decided on having Ivan Mind Hack Link into going back, for the reasons I mentioned in the following chapter. But originally, I wanted Ivan to be more on Link's side in this before realizing that that wouldn't make much sense, given that Ivan's about to die and cares about Link too much to let him watch him pass on, thus creating that gaping void in Link's heart. I debated this a lot, but came to the conclusion that Ivan shouldn't be perfect. He should be flawed, and thus, should prioritize keeping Link mentally stable over the chance that things might repeat. Song: I Am Not A Moron! from Portal 2.

Chapter 25: Nothing here. Song: Hurt by Johnny Cash. Maybe I would have continued the long-standing joke of Link not knowing how to talk to royalty and have him call King Daphnes "Your Highworshipfullnessency" or something like that and, just talking about it, I really regret not doing this. But the joke was old and had run its course.

Chapter 26: I debated killing off Ingo and keeping Talon alive, but decided against it because it just didn't fit as cleanly as I wanted it to. Song: The Same Deep Water As You by The Cure.

Chapter 27: I might have introduced Pipit here, but decided against it for some reason. Song: Walking in My Shoes by Depeche Mode.

Chapter 28: I debated showing how Ruto, Darunia, and Impa killed the Elder Skullfos, but decided against it because it was more funny to have Impa drop the bomb on the trio of kids and the reader, as opposed to just the former. Song: Divine Decree from Fire Emblem: Awakening.

Chapter 29: Nothing. Song: Chaos & Chaos (Ablaze) from Fire Emblem: Awakening.

Chapter 30: Nothing. Song: Paranoid Android by Radiohead.

Post-Epilogue: I was considering having a tiny sliver of a scene set as a conversation between the Hero's Shade (OOT Link) and TP Link, who is his… grandson? Great-grandson? Something like that. I might have described a bit of his life in Ordon with Malon, and then framed ToM in the light of Shade telling TP Link his story. This got cut because it didn't make much sense thematically. I was going to have his lingering regrets be that he couldn't save Ivan, and the others in both decayed timelines. But it was just too long and too schizophrenic, so I decided against it.

Wherever Nierak, our Lord and Savior, is present: Corrupt by Depeche Mode.

Huge shoutout to Dimensional Links, Acheronta Movebo, and Inner Demons, the main inspirations for this fic. Even bigger shoutout to ChangelingRin and everyone else who left a review, gave a fave, and followed this fic to the end. Thank you all so much!