Chapter 3 Stuck in the Past

Life had its ups and downs. Backs and forths. It was similar to the ocean he had grown to like watching late nights after work when he didn't want to go home. The waves went in all different directions. He compared it to his life.

Rafael Salano arrived at his office. He watched the hustle and bustle as people began their day. Several were headed out for appointments. Some were on their computers. Some were on their phones talking to potential buyers. He had come so far, accomplished so much. Why did he feel so empty?

Jane. She was once his everything. His shining light in the middle of a thunderstorm. When did that change? Why did that change? Rafael thought of this often.

It all went back to a few weeks before they were married. She went to meet up with Michael to discuss getting permission publishing her book.

She worked out everything with him as she had said on the phone on her drive home. Everything was great. When she got home to him, he realized it wasn't.

"How did it go with Michael?" Rafael questioned.

"I told it went great." Jane said simply as she set her purse on the kitchen table. Mateo was asleep for the night.

"It's done?" Rafael again questioned. He needed to hear it. He needed to hear she was done with him finally.

"Yeah, he signed the agreement and we said our goodbyes." Jane said quietly.

"That's great." Rafael said sighing with relief.

"Yeah… he's even got himself a girl. Charlie. Can't say I approve of his choice… She was dreadful when I met her in Montana, but he seems happy and she's pregnant!" Jane said the last part turning away from Rafael. He sensed the tone of her voice. She was trying to be strong.

"That's great." He said after a moment.

Jane turned to him. "Yeah." He saw it then. That flicker of sadness, regret, jealousy and then it was gone.

She pulled him to her and squeezed tight. "I love you so much."

"I love you Jane." Rafael said. He held her close, staring out doubtfully. He could feel her fighting back tears. He knew, he had always known. She would never love him like she loved Michael.

He wanted her though. He wanted her so bad, so he ignored it. He buried it. He never mentioned his name again, but those feelings don't always stay buried.

He stood in his office now. He abruptly left the house this morning. He knew she wanted him to sit down and enjoy breakfast with her. Maybe act like they were married again. She was always so hopeful. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He loved her. Lord know he did, but he stopped being inlove with her a long time ago. About the time he realized there was 3 people in his marriage himself, Jane and Michael no matter what she said. He was always there.

His name casually mentioned with her parents or Alba, he watched her. Her face changed at the mention of Michael. She would brighten, almost glow at the sound of his name as if she was wishing he'd appear at the sound of his name. Very quickly she would recover and that flicker of sadness would come and again it would be gone. She'd cover it, comment briefly on him and then go to talking about the next subject. It was so quick, but he seen it.

He knew her. He knew her facial expressions. He knew she was keeping what she was feeling from him. He knew she was still inlove with him and always would be, even if she didn't realize it herself.

He sat down at his desk. Listened to his voicemails. A few from potential buyers, and one from Petra. He listened to Petra's voice with a smile.

"Hey Raf. The girls flight just took off for Paris. I know you said your goodbyes, but they wanted me to give you their love. They will miss you. It's bittersweet, but I know they will have a wonderful time with their group this summer. Anyway, I wanted to celebrate being child free and my divorce being finalized. Getting a few drinks at the Marbela tonight. Join me if you can. Please bring Jane too if possible."

Rafael stared blankly, thinking before picking up his phone. Him and Petra had become very close over the past several months. She was divorcing JR after several years of marriage. Turns out JR had not been faithful for some time. Petra was heartbroken, but as resilient as she is, she prevailed. She came out stronger, and more confident and beautiful than ever.

Their friendship had grown a lot. He looked to her as a confidant when he was having problems with Jane. She always listened carefully and gave her input. She loved Jane. She loved him. She just wanted them to be happy.

She had grown so much. No longer the jealous woman trying to keep them apart. She truly wanted them to work things out.

Rafael began texting her back. "I'll be there."

He then texted Jane. "Meeting Petra tonight. Post-divorce celebration. Be home late." He thought about adding a "love you," but didn't.

He sent another text as an afterthought. "Come if you can find a sitter for Veronica." She probably wouldn't.

He let out a breath and headed out the door for his meeting to close a sale on a house. Time to get his mind on work.