Written for Sifki Week 2019 Day 3: Scars.

This was originally written for another prompt of "confession" but I was having too much fun and ended up with two fics. This can loosely work for scars too.

The blow to her head had been the most painful thing she'd ever experienced. And that was truly saying something, given the centuries of battle experience she had under her belt. The mountain troll's club had struck hard and fast. She had only just enough time to raise her shield, but that proved to only make things worse, the powerful blow sending the hard metal edge of her shield crashing into her skull and slicing open her temple.

She had stayed on her feet for likely only a moment, although it felt like hours, time suddenly slowing and wobbling around her. She turned, trying to walk towards her friends, feeling as though her head was about to split open, and wanting to spend her final moments with people she cared about. The last thing she saw was Loki running towards her, daggers flying from his palm and his mouth open as if in a scream. But all she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears, felt the warm blood streaking down her face, before she collapsed and all went black.

Death was different than she expected. Instead of a Valkyrie carrying her from the battlefield to her place of glory, she could have sworn it was Loki's face floating above her, his arms lifting her up. She recalled his face, the open mouth screaming above her and then darkness. Then she saw his face again, closed and tight as if worried, and felt hands in her hair.

She felt acutely ill and also quite amazing, as if she had no bones in her body. She was aware of a throbbing in her temple but there was a strange feeling, an absence of pain. Apparently death felt like floating. Her mind spun as she tried to open her eyes. She wanted to see Valhalla.

Her surroundings were dim, and quiet. The air smelled sterile and clean. That was the opposite of what she expected from a rowdy drinking hall that was supposed to be filled with fallen soldiers. She frowned and grunted. Maybe this was Folkvangr instead?

"Sif?" she heard her name whispered and a face eclipsed her view. She blinked a few times, surprised to see her dear friend Thor. She felt delighted and then suddenly upset. So he had not made it out of the skirmish alive either. That meant that the one who carried her here...

"Where's Loki?" she slurred. "I saw him."

"Sif!" Thor's smile was bright. His eyes crinkled when he smiled like that. "He's been here all night, I think he finally went to get some food."

"Oh Thor. You died too?" She tried to push herself up on the bed, but that gave her the strange sensation that she was riding a roiling wave and about to be tossed from the bed. She laid back down immediately, closing her eyes. "That's so sad."

"We're not dead," Thor reassured her. "Although you really scared us."

"The pain, Thor," she kept her eyes closed, remembering how it felt as though her entire skull had exploded. "But now...I feel like," she raised one hand, trying to convey to him how light she felt, but her arm flailed about, "nice. It's good."

"Whatever Eir gave you, you are just delirious," Thor laughed. "Loki is going to be upset he's not here to see this. Of course he hasn't left all night and you choose now to -"

Loki. There was something about Loki, she could see his face even with her eyes closed, although it was hard to figure out why. Loki.

"Thor!" she cut him off, her eyes flying open again. She tried to put it all together. She wasn't in Valhalla. She hadn't been worthy. "I died while being a coward."

"You're not dead-"

"Thor. Listen. Listen."

"I'm listening." She thought that he looked very amused, but that was wrong. This was wrong, something was wrong. She couldn't focus and closed one eye. That seemed to help a bit. Her brain struggled to keep up, but she suddenly felt there was something very Tragic happening. Something about Loki. Loki!

"Loki! I love him, Thor. And I never told him because I'm a coward." The wave of anguish that overtook her was unbearable. But she was alive and so was he. That was good. She'd never felt emotions this intensely, this wildly all at once. She felt tears spring to her eyes, and reached toward her friend in despair. "I love Loki and he doesn't even know. Do you think he knows?"

Before Thor could answer, a clatter rang out from the distance. Sif jerkily turned her head towards the commotion and saw a goblet dropped on the floor, mead staining the stone and Loki standing very still above it. His face looked shocked, almost as fearful as the face she saw when she closed her eyes, screaming out for her.

"Yes, I think he may," Thor answered happily. Sif suddenly felt slightly more sober as she looked back around the room. She was in the healing rooms. She was alive and she had just told her biggest secret to her best friend and the target of her affection. Oh no.

Sif clapped her hands over her face.

"Ow," she hissed, feeling pain in a sharp burst where her uncoordinated hand had struck her injury. She heard footsteps and felt cool hands pulling her palms from her eyes. Loki was at her side, placing her hands back down onto her lap and gingerly lifting the bandage that was covering her head to check the laceration.

"Careful," he whispered to her soothingly. "Do you think it will leave a scar?"

"Which?" she grumbled, trying to over-enunciate her intoxicated words. "The wound or my humiliation?" Loki suddenly took his hands from her head and averted his gaze, looking panicked. How foolish she was to have ever hoped for more than this. The shame made her stomach turn, feeling woozy. "Maybe I should have died rather than to suffer like this."

"Don't worry," Thor leaned in and patted her hand soothingly before rocking happily back on his heels, "he's madly in love with you too. He's told me several times. Usually while also highly inebriated."

"Thor!" Loki shouted looking stricken. Thor shrugged and smiled.

"Well it's true and it's about time that it was all out there. If I have to deal with any more of the love sick looks you two make when the other isn't looking I will actually send you both to Valhalla."

"Thor," Loki warned, his voice dropping. "Shut up."

"Right," he patted Sif's hand again and grabbed Loki's neck briefly, smiling brightly at them both. "My turn to get some food. I'll see you later."

When Thor had left the room. Loki stood above her in silence for a moment looking absolutely lost. Her head spun trying to keep up with everything that had just happened, everything that Thor had just said. Loki opened his mouth and Sif put a hand up to shush him. Her aim was off and her hand ended up partly in Loki's mouth. He calmly removed her fingers and she wrapped her hand around his, trying to anchor herself.

"Don't worry about Thor," Sif tried to pat him on the shoulder with her free hand and ended up kind of pawing at his chest instead. Loki bore it stoically. "But is it true? What he said?"

Sif blinked several times trying to focus on his face. She could have sworn a slight blush was coloring his high cheeks. So lovely. He nodded at her.

"Yes."

"Oh good," she squeezed his hand.

"Is what you said true?" his voice was quiet, almost insecure.

"Oh yes," Sif stated confidently. "I think about you all the time. I always have."

"Oh," Loki whispered, "good."

She met his gaze and smiled. "I'm not dead. You love me. And I love you." She felt dazzled and drunk in her happiness. "That's wonderful! Oh we have to tell Thor!"

Loki laughed then and brought a hand up to affectionately brush her cheek. "I'm sure he will be delighted and astounded to hear it."

The pleasant feeling of his hand on her skin and the warmth in her chest over took her then, and she closed her eyes, suddenly feeling quite exhausted. "I think I need to sleep now, Loki."

"Sleep well, my lady. I shall be here. I do hope you remember this tomorrow."

"I could never forget it," she sighed and drifted off with the vision of his smile carrying her to peaceful slumber.