Why Are You Here?

Chapter 1

"I made tenure," she said quietly to the open air. The previous jubilation she felt since the announcement was made at work was subdued as she saw Flynn's name engraved on the tombstone. After five years he was still the easiest person to talk to.

She could imagine his eyes sparkling at her news. He would say congratulations followed with some sarcastic remark. What she wouldn't give to hear him say they were both geniuses. To hear him say that she deserved it and she made her own path despite her mother.

"We did it Garcia. We went back to our own timeline. I gave you the journal like you said I would. You were so broken. It pained me to see you in such a state," she continued. "You are a hero Garcia. I hope you remember…"

Would he want to remember her? She didn't exactly give him encouraging words to help end Rittenhouse. She's pretty sure whatever she told him the first time was like a dream come true. This time she told him he was the greatest hero and he wouldn't get his family back.

Real smart. Who was she to do such a thing and yet she did.

She placed three blue irises on the tombstone. She blinked back the tears as she recalled Flynn's words. "I know one day we will save the people we love."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm so sorry." She wiped her eyes straightening herself up. She turned to head towards the car.

She goes home and smiles at the sound of her children laughing. She follows the noise to the kitchen. Her daughters are baking cookies with Wyatt. Probably some celebratory dessert courtesy of Flynn and Amy. A laugh threatens to spill forth at the site but she stifles it. She opts to quietly look on.

There is a guilt that rises within her as she continues. Flynn did not have many opportunities to enjoy such activities with Iris. He was robbed of many birthdays, anniversaries, Christmases by Rittenhouse only to turn himself into a martyr. For the team, yes, but ultimately for her own happiness.

A happiness she was afraid to upend. A happiness that included everything she ever wanted and sometimes she still felt at war with herself.

She escapes the kitchen without being seen.

Lucy closes her bedroom door and locks it quietly. She walks to the closest and pulls out the journal. Her fingers wrap around the centuries old letter he wrote to her in 1848. Her eyes scan every word and with every word comes feelings she refused to acknowledge. His words that transport her back to Chinatown.

She asked him one question and he never got a chance to answer directly. A letter who supposed to be end of it all. An end of a chapter she wasn't finished with yet. A chapter he felt needed to end no matter the consequence.

The letter reopens a wound she desperately tried to close one too many times. She shoves the letter back into the journal.

She heaves a heavy sigh and puts the journal back into place.

The soft knock on the door alerts her to Wyatt's presence.

She opens the door and he is all smiles. The girls are trailing behind him as they giggle.

"What are you three up to?"

"We made you cookies," Amy said. She offers her the plate and she takes one.

"Thank you Ames," she said.

The girls run off to their room and Wyatt steps inside.

"How did you know I was even back?" she asked.

"I saw your car before we came upstairs," he replied. Where did you go after you left the bunker?" he asked.

"I took a drive to clear my head," she said. "That last trip was surreal," she admitted.

"You finished the mission," he said encouragingly and hugged her. She hugged him back out of common courtesy. She didn't feel like she accomplished anything.