Content Warning: Mentions of sexual assault/attempted rape

It had been two weeks since Clary had returned from her time with Team Evil after the Battle of Burren had taken place. The Clave had allowed them only a matter of days to heal before they had requested testimonies from those who had been at the battle, and they had firmly requested that Clary be prepared to report on what she had seen and heard while she was with Sebastian and not-Jace.

Jace's testimony had been delivered by the Silent Brothers since Brother Zachariah worried that Jace might set fire to the Institute if he took up the Mortal Sword. Alec, Izzy, Simon, Magnus, Luke, and Jocelyn had also been asked to speak.

Luke had sent in his statement about what happened in his row house when Sebastian and Jace had dropped in unexpectedly, and Jocelyn did the same with additional information about what happened at Burren, refusing to leave Luke's side as he continued recovering from the demon metal.

Much to Alec's dismay, Magnus had also refused to appear before the Clave and instead sent his account of the battle, claiming that he was still weakened by what happened with Amatis at Burren. Clary suspected that in reality he just wasn't ready to see Alec after their recent breakup.

Simon, Alec, and Izzy were not able to avoid testifying. Alec and Izzy had taken up the Mortal Sword and answered their questions quickly without issue. Luckily, Robert, newly made Inquisitor, avoided asking questions that would reveal that they had summoned a Greater Demon or that they had deliberately abstained from notifying the Clave about Burren. Simon, being a Downworlder, could not be compelled by the sword. Instead, he was just asked to describe meeting with Raziel and how he had delivered Glorious to Clary during the chaos at the Seventh Sacred Site.

Now, it was Clary's turn.

"Clarissa Fairchild, come to the dais and take up the Mortal Sword," Robert Lightwood intoned in his deep booming voice.

Clary looked to her side where Jace was sitting, and he gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand before letting go. As she stood, Izzy and Alec nodded at her, silently wishing her luck, and Simon gave her two thumbs up as she walked to the dais.

She could feel the eyes of the Clave on her as she climbed the steps of the stage and felt a shiver shoot up her spine. When she reached Robert and Jia Penhallow, she gave them a slight nod as a way of greeting and took the sword from Robert's outstretched hand and knelt before the Clave. The hilt of the Mortal Sword bit at her hands and she could feel the familiar, painful tug as it prepared to pull the truth from her if necessary.

She cast her eyes around the room and saw a few faces she recognized. Aline and Helen holding hands in the front of the room, Brother Zachariah and Brother Enoch standing against the wall in the back, Maryse Lightwood sitting with the members of the New York Conclave, and Meliron of the Seelie Court sitting with the Downworlder representatives and Luke's empty Council seat. Finally, she looked over to Alec, Izzy, Simon, and Jace, who all smiled at her with reassurance, though even from a distance Jace looked tense. She gave him a tight-lipped smile before looking up to Robert.

"Clarissa, tell the Council how you came to join Sebastian and, um, the influenced Jace," Robert said, staring down at her. Clary took a deep breath and nodded and told the story of meeting with the Seelie Queen and stealing the faerie work rings from the Institute and meeting with Simon and telling him her plan.

She could see the disapproval on the faces of some members of the Clave as she admitted to stealing from the Institute, but she could hardly bring herself to care.

"Why did you not speak to the Clave about seeing Jace and Sebastian at the Institute?" Robert asked, and Clary's chest tightened with nerves, and she felt a sharp painful stabbing sensation in the palms of her hands where she held the sword.

"I knew the Clave would have ordered Jace killed just to be rid of, uh, Jonathan without attempting to separating them." Clary had deliberately avoided calling her brother by his true name. It felt too much like accepting who he was to her, but it seemed the Mortal Sword would not allow her even this small lie. She swallowed her frustration and continued with her statement.

"I refused to let that happen, so I came up with my own plan." Clary wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a flash of gratitude in Robert's eyes.

"And what was your plan?" the Inquisitor asked.

"I wanted to join Jonathan and Jace, so I could figure out what Jonathan had planned. Also, I wanted to keep an eye on Jace until we discovered a way to separate him from Jonathan without killing him," Clary said, and she couldn't help but steal a glance at Jace. He still looked tense and was staring at her intently, but he gave her a small smile.

Robert and Jia looked satisfied with this answer, and the questioning moved on to what Clary learned while she was observing Sebastian, which to Clary's aggravation was very little. She answered the question precisely and quickly. Then, Robert asked about what happened while Jace had briefly been released from Sebastian's influence, and Clary felt her throat constrict and her body tighten. She had been prepared for this question, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Brother Zachariah said that Jace was planning to turn himself into the Silent Brothers, but Sebastian used an iratze to heal Lilith's rune. How did that happen?"

"I was going to go with Jace to the Silent Brothers and see if they could help, but Jace told me the Silent Brothers might simply kill him to kill Jonathan. I…. I couldn't face that, and I called Jonathan before Jace could leave. Jace wanted to go to the Silent Brothers. I didn't," Clary said, her face flushed with guilt thinking of the look of betrayal on Jace's face when she called for Sebastian.

"You didn't want Jace to die?" It sounded like a question, but Clary could tell Robert already knew what her answer would be.

"No, I didn't," Clary said, and she felt members of the Clave looking at her with anger and disapproval, but she didn't care. She regretted betraying Jace, yes, but she would not regret trying to save him. She met their gazes of anger with a set jaw and fierce eyes.

Though she didn't know it, Robert, who had spent very little time with his son's girlfriend, thought she looked very like Valentine in that moment. He supposed he should be unsettled, but this girl who looked so much like the people of his past, a past he wished he could forget, seemed to love Jace and his other children fiercely.

Valentine was far from Clary's thoughts. All she wanted was to answer his questions about the Battle of Burren and leave. She didn't think the questioning would take much longer. Her thoughts of leaving flew from her head as Robert asked his next question, Clary suddenly felt dizzy with terror and panic.

"After Jace was back under Sebastian's influence, he went to Burren to prepare for the ritual. Brother Zachariah reported that Jace had sustained injuries. What happened when Jace left the apartment, Clarissa?" Robert looked simply curious, but Clary felt all the blood drain from her face, and she gazed around the room wildly.

"Jonathan and I had a fight after I told Simon about his plans," Clary said simply, but the sword in her hands knew she was hiding something, and she could the pain dig deeper into her hands trying to pull the whole truth from her and she gasped in pain.

Robert's brow furrowed in confusion, and he cast a look at Jia who nodded with a concerned look on her face.

"Clary, did something else happen while you were alone with Sebastian?" Isabelle and Alec's father asked.

No. Clary wanted to say. She had never in her life wanted to lie so desperately in her life as she did right now.

"Yes," she gasped out against her will. She darted a quick look at Jace who was pale and halfway out of his seat, but Alec was holding him back even though he looked just as confused as Jace did. Simon and Izzy were also staring at her with looks of concern and anxiety.

"Tell the Clave what happened," Robert said, and Clary shot him a glare that was brimming with anger and terror and pleading.

"I don't want to," she said, lowly. People rustled in their seats, but she didn't notice. She was back in the apartment, bloody and bleeding and staring into fathomless black eyes.

The Inquisitor looked uncomfortable and worried despite himself, but he had a job to do. He couldn't be deterred by his children's affection for this girl.

"Clarissa, tell the Clave what happened," he said. His voice wavered, but it carried the command anyhow.

"Please, don't make me," Clary whispered, and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

In the crowd, Alec released Jace quickly as if he had been burned, and Jace stood.

"Answer the question," Robert said.

Clary arched her back in pain as she tried to smother back the truth. She would not tell them. She couldn't. Distantly, she heard Alec and Jace approaching the dais, and Isabelle stand and shout, "Dad!" At the same moment, Brother Zachariah's voice entered everyone's head. Maybe it would be best to stop momentarily. Though his words were emotionless, his worry was evident.

Robert ignored all of this. "Clarissa?"

She couldn't control it anymore, and the truth exploded from her unbidden.

"He tried to rape me! Alright? My brother tried to rape me. He kissed me, grabbed at me, and stuck his hands down my pants while quoting the Bible at me and telling me I belonged to him. And you know what? I fought back. I stabbed him, and I held a jagged piece of glass at his throat, and I never wanted to hurt anyone as bad as I did in that moment. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill my brother, even though he hurt me, without hurting someone I love, and he knew that and he laughed. He laughed," Clary shouted and tears were running down her face. Robert looked shell-shocked as did most others in the room. Jace and Alec stood frozen in shock, and Izzy stood with her hand covering her mouth staring at Clary in horror while Simon sat still his hands curled into fists.

Clary couldn't take it anymore. She pulled with all her might and ripped her hands away from the Mortal Sword that seemed as if it were trying to grab onto her, knowing it wasn't finished with her. It didn't matter. There were gashes on her hands where she had pulled her hands away, but her hands were free. The sword clattered on the ground at her feet.

She moved to leave, but she paused and turned back.

"Is that what you wanted to hear?" she asked, not looking at Robert or Jia or anyone in particular. Everyone in the room was staring at her, but no one answered, and Clary jumped from the stage and ran and ran.

Jace stood stock still for a moment, still frozen, before he ran after her, but for the first time since she knew him, Clary outpaced him and disappeared from sight.

An hour later, Jace found her crouched on the roof of the Institute staring at the Manhattan skyline with tears drying on her face.

"Clary?" he asked, softly.

Clary turned her head to face him, and Jace's heart thudded unevenly in his chest. He had never seen her look so broken. Clary, his Clary, was always strong, brave, and unbending. Even when she had driven Glorious into his chest, her face had been set and her eyes burning. She had looked like an avenging angel in her torn red dressed with tears running down her face.

He shook the image from his head and walked up to Clary slowly giving her time to send him away if she wanted.

When he reached, he knelt beside her carefully. Her hands were still bloody from where she had ripped her hands from the Mortal Sword.

"Clary," he said again, whispering.

She sat still for a moment before throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his shoulder as her body racked with sobs. Jace wrapped her arms around her and drew her into his lap and held her tightly.

"Clary, it's okay. It's okay. I have you. I won't let him hurt you again. I won't," Jace murmured in her ear and felt her tighten her grasp on him.

They sat like that for a long time. Clary's sobs lightening as Jace rubbed soothing circles on her back. By the time her tears had finally stopped, the sun was setting over the sitting.

After she stopped crying, Clary stayed still with her face still pressed to Jace's shoulder and finally noticed the tension in his body. He was running several degrees hotter, and she could almost feel him suppressing his anger and keeping his emotions in check. Clary appreciated his self-control, knowing how hard it must be for him. She also appreciated his anger and rage that seemed to match her own. She wondered if it was selfish that she was bitterly happy at his rage.

She moved her head from his shoulder and looked up at Jace. He looked at her worriedly and cupped her face in his hand placing a kiss on her forehead. Clary leaned into him slightly grateful for his presence.

Jace put his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes intently. Her green eyes were glassy and slightly swollen from tears and her face was flushed.

"Clary, we are going to get him. I swear on the angel we will get him, and we will kill him," Jace said, his gaze steely and burning with the light of heavenly fire.

Clary nodded lightly and placed a light kiss on his lips. "Thank you for being here with me," she whispered, and his gaze softened.

"Of course," he said. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Clary said.

Jace smiled and took her hand and carefully inked an iratze on her wrists and watched her skin knit back together. Clary was about to thank him but was interrupted by the sound of the door to the roof opening.

Alec, Izzy, and Simon walked onto the roof hesitantly. Jace and Clary stood, and Clary offered them a small smile as Jace grabbed her hand and twined their fingers.

Seeing Clary's encouragement, her friends approached her quickly. As soon as they reached her, Alec pulled her into a tight hug, and Clary stilled with shock before returning the hug. Alec kissed her hair as if she were his little sister and pulled away still holding onto her arms.

"I'm so sorry, Clary. I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes bright. Clary nodded, unsure what to say.

As soon as Alec let her go, Izzy pulled her into another hug shocking everyone. Izzy was not one for public displays of affection. The hug was quick but fierce. When she pulled away, she stared at Clary hard.

"He's going to pay for what he did to you, Clary," Izzy said, her voice firm and leaving no room for doubt. "He's going to pay for what he did to you and to Jace and to Max."

"I know, Izzy," Clary said. "Thank you."

Izzy nodded, and Clary's eyes drifted over to Simon. He was staring at her, and his eyes conveyed a wealth of emotion that she couldn't quite decipher.

"Simon?" Clary asked, and suddenly, Simon pulled her into a bone-crushing hug practically lifting her off of her feet before returning her to the ground.

He looked into her eyes, his gaze gentle and sad.

"This shouldn't have happened to you, and I'm so sorry, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. We are all here for you," he said looking at Alec and Izzy and Jace in turn.

Jace stepped closer to her, taking her hand again and placing a kiss along her knuckles.

"Simon is right, you know. We're here for you whenever you need us, and we'll help you through this any way we can," he said, and Simon, Izzy, and Alec nodded in agreement.

Clary smiled at them in gratitude.

She was still angry, so angry. Angry at Sebastian for what he did to her and angry at the Clave from forcing a truth from her that she wasn't ready to face or talk about, but Clary felt stronger with Jace, Simon, Alec, and Izzy supporting her. She felt like she could breathe again.

She stared at them. She let her eyes meet Alec's azure blue eyes that offered compassion and friendship, Izzy's furious dark eyes that promised revenge, Simon's familiar brown eyes that were alight with support and comfort, and, finally, Jace's burning gold eyes that stared back at her with a gaze full of fierce love and determination.

Clary let their eyes erase the black ones that haunted her nightmares and waking hours and felt herself relax slightly for the first time in two weeks.

Another story? I'm almost impressed with myself.

This is much different than my usual fanfictions, but I've always wondered what would have happened if Clary had been forced to talk about what Sebastian did to her. This story was a difficult one for me to write, but it has been nagging me since COHF was released.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Happy reading! And don't forget to let me know what you think!