Author's Note: 'What if the Malfoys came to the Head Auror with their time-turner years ahead of schedule? Turns out, Harry is even worse at hiding dangerous magical artefacts than Hermione. It's a shame his kids inherited his nose for trouble.'

Back in 2011 I started a time travel fanfic called 'Hallowed Time Twists'. I didn't know how to write and dove in head first without a clue. I became so embarrassed that I abandoned the story, chalking it up as a ridiculous plot.

Then Cursed Child came out, which used the same 'ridiculous plot'. I fell in love with the script and saw the play thrice (I'm rather obsessed and incredibly lucky). Still, wow were there problems with the script! I looked back at the abandoned fanfic and realised the main nugget of the plot was still good—and that the cool parts of Cursed Child could be included—though a ridiculously huge rewrite was in order. Thus, this!

You can still view the old 'Hallowed Time Twists' if you'd like. The plot of these two stories will be sort of similar, except: this one's writing is half-way decent, I've added massive Cursed Child plot points, I've switched out Teddy for Scorpius (and Draco, 'cause why not), and many of the old subplots have been removed (though a few odd ones remain, namely Lily being insane).

If you're an old reader, enjoy the new story! If you're just discovering my work, welcome! I'd run while you still can.

Oh and MASSIVE "CURSED CHILD" SPOILERS, AHOY!

General Disclaimer: While my Gringotts vault might be filled with knuts, it's thanks to my private army of eccentric nifflers and not because I'm profiting in any way from J. K. Rowling's heptalogy.

All Albus Potter could hear was the whistling of the train, the crowd's shouts, and the hooting from up and down the platform. His father's embrace was strong—the robes a thick cotton while the man smelled distinctly like flying. He wasn't sure how: it was like fresh grass? A hint of cinders?

As soon as his dad let him go his mum pulled him close. Her hug was stronger and lighter all at once. It made his throat scratchy, especially when there was a kiss on his forehead, a murmur in his ear: "Your House doesn't matter in the least, we'll love you just the same. Enjoy the year and stop worrying! We only want you to be happy."

His dad was smiling at the two of them. Uncle Ron gave a roar and swept him up (making his mum shriek as she was pushed away). Aunt Hermione followed soon enough, and while James had vanished Rose was tugging him away from her mum's reminders about studying. All at once the two of them were on the train and he wasn't entirely sure how. His cousin hollered back excited cheers to her parents and brother. His parents were holding each other, beaming at him.

Albus and his luggage were onboard, the Hogwarts Express was chugging away, and he caught a glimpse of his sister racing after the train as Rose pulled him along the hallway, exclaiming about the friends they'd make. He could do without the flitterbies in his stomach.

A rush of sound, churning wheels, and a minute hand buzzing cheerily ahead.

"She's not usually this bad." Albus came to Rose's defence after she'd left the (their?) train compartment with a huff. The space was filled with seats but it was just the two of them, bouncing slightly with the moving train. It felt nice, especially after the crowded King's Cross Station. "She's only high-strung. Overeager?"

Scorpius Malfoy swiped at the steam fading from his ears, looking at Albus as though shocked the other boy was still there. He was smiling grandly. "Oh no, it's fine. All good. Love the overeager, hyperactive types. I'm a hyperactive type! Wonderful types. She said I've got a nose and you stayed for my sweets, so I like you both already."

Albus couldn't hold back a snort as the tension in his chest eased. "You got me, I can be bribed with candy." A pause, tongue-tied. He remembered his dad's stories about how he'd befriended Uncle Ron. The sharing candy part was there, but Scorpius' blurted confession hung over things. He didn't like it. "Those rumours about you? They're nonsense, I can tell already. Ridiculous, like…like Voldemort's son would share candy! Bet they'd burst into flames if you were actually a Dark Lord."

Scorpius' beam widened. He tossed Albus a chocolate frog and promptly dug into his own.

A beat of hours, a mighty castle, candles flickering in the air: time slowing down just as you wish it to speed ahead—

'Ah yes, another young Potter. You always are confusing ones.'

Another whisper in his ear…in his thoughts, more like. It was nowhere near as comforting as his mother's voice.

'That isn't my job, I'm afraid. To be comforting. Oh, if it only were!' the Sorting Hat seemed to chuckle as Albus went red. He kicked his feet, not sure if he was imagining the whispers from around the Great Hall. He wished he could see. How much time had passed? 'Now there, this is a good mind. A stubborn one as well. Fiery, too. Burning with a thirst to prove yourself? You do remind me of your parent.'

'I'm not like my dad,' Albus thought with a droop in his shoulders. 'I'm nothing like him.'

'Your mother, boy! Your grandmothers as well, I dare say. Fiery and compassionate all at once, with ambition in droves. They were tricky as well. I gave all of them a choice, in fact. They chose the same in the end, reluctant or no, though they also would have done well elsewhere. Young Mr. Potter, do you know what I ask?'

There were definitely murmurs from the students now. Albus pictured his cousins sharing a look with his brother, James shrugging, maybe saying a joke. He tried to picture the Gryffindor common room, crimson and bright and good. His dad would be proud of that, he thought. Of him. His mum would be proud either way, he knew.

The voice in his thoughts grew softer, the wooden stool harder, the whispers louder. 'There is no need to be nervous. You are not defined by your House, just as you are not defined by your name. You have the chance to be great and to be happy no matter what.'

Albus nodded. Straightened his shoulders, held his breath, and tried not to imagine Rose's gasp of shock.

'Very well. Better be…SLYTHERIN!'

A day and a night, or a week, or enough movement of the clock that the slithering snake wallpaper (with hissing therein) no longer felt unbearably unfamiliar—

His new friend was reading over his shoulder. Trying to read, that is, as Albus was good at curtailing busybodies with all his cousins and siblings. If it meant literally batting Scorpius away with his free hand and feet, that's what he'd do. Besides, he'd already gotten plenty of gawks for being a Potter in the Slytherin common room. What were a few more looks for shoving the Malfoy heir off the couch?

"OI, that was my BUTTOCKS!" Scorpius cried on cue, hopping back up and missing the significant looks from the other students.

"Phrasing?" Albus kicked his legs up onto the now empty seat. He glanced over the letter again. "Also, hello, private message. If you were being subtle that'd be one thing."

"Come on!" Scorpius gave an exaggerated protest, hands in the air. "Everybody wants to know your father's response. I'm just the one closest enough to gawk."

A silence hit the common room at the loud announcement. Albus was disheartened when several students leaned forward or nodded enthusiastically. He'd almost have preferred if his entrance to Slytherin House had been met with swears and hexes. Who knew ambitious and cunning students were so nosy?

"Could you not?" Albus tugged Scorpius back to the couch, glaring at the plentiful eavesdroppers. "I don't mind telling you, but I'd rather not announce it to the school."

"Oops, can see that." Scorpius ducked his head down (as well as ducking Albus' with his hand, not minding his friend's squawk). "So?"

Albus kept his voice low. Seeing this most of the common room disappointedly returned to their own things. "Dad says he's fine with it, Mum's actually fine with it, and my sister's raging mad. Happy?"

"I guess that's good." Scorpius scratched his ear, head still ducked. "'Cept for your sister, sorry about that. I can't say I'm shocked some of your family's prejudiced against Snakes. No offence."

Albus resisted rolling his eyes. "That's not why Lily's angry. She's…that is…? She's odd."

"Odd?"

"She's annoyed I wasn't more subtle about it." Albus mimicked his sister with a high tone. "She'll be like: 'What type of cunning person chooses a House known for it? Subtlety, Al! It's so a thing!'" His voice returned to normal. "She's mental. Wants to sneak into Hufflepuff or Gryffindor."

Scorpius stared. "She doesn't sound like a Hufflepuff?"

"Hence the sneaking in. Why this…Merlin's beard, is that the giant squid? I can see the giant squid from the common room!" Albus let out an amazed laugh as he gaped out the glass wall into the Black Lake, letter momentarily forgotten. "That's so much better than leaping out of Gryffindor Tower. It's right there, clear through the seaweed! Blimey. Is that common to see?"

Scorpius rubbed his ears, looking peaky. "Leaping out of…"

"When it comes to Quidditch, my mum has a death wish. HOLY DUMBLEDORE, THAT'S A MERPERSON!"

"I love books, so you know." Scorpius was balancing three on his head. At least he was trying to. His nose was bruised from them falling off. When one had ricocheted off of Reginald Flint's foot the other two dorm mates had made a quick pace to the common room. Albus had confined himself to his bed, laughing too hard to keep his balance. "Regular homework aficionado! Love me a good, enormous book. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!"

Albus let out another bark of laughter as Scorpius sang off-key. The latter stopped soon enough, grinning embarrassedly.

"Mum likes the song," he said by way of explanation, waving a hand and spiralling Magical Drafts and Potions to the floor. "She goes around singing it all hours of the day. Drives my dad mad, it does." His voice dropped conspiratorially. "But I've caught him humming it, too."

"I'm not the biggest fan of books," said Albus. "I'm fond of potions an' stuff, but reading for the fun of it? Nah. My Aunt, Rose's mum? She sorta scared me off them. Which was kind of the opposite of her intention."

"No no no." Scorpius shook his head, wincing as another book fell. "You don't get it. I like books because you can talk to them. Talk, curse, practice Gobbledegook on!"

"What?"

"They don't talk back! Isn't that brilliant? No teasing or gossip or what have you." Scorpius stacked another two on his head, walking with a waver around their dorm with his arms stretched out to his sides. "Mind you, some books do talk. But they're right informative. I've had some of my best conversations with books! I own a couple of talkative buggers."

"So long as they don't write back," Albus said lightly. Scorpius turned around with a curious glance, arms lowering. "Sorry, family saying. 'Don't trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain'. It's a bit long. But y'see, my mum…"

He instantly realised (too late) what he was saying and to who, and his tongue grew too big for his mouth. Scorpius had become 'just Scorpius' to him over the past few weeks, but he was still Scorpius Malfoy. Related to Lucius Malfoy. Related to the monster who made it so, sometimes, Albus would find his mum late at night, shaking in the kitchen with untouched tea in front of her. His dad would be there too, usually, embracing her and murmuring something in her ear. Sometimes James would have heard the noise before him and would be lurking in the doorway, silently hurdling them both back up the stairs.

"…my mum says weird things," Albus finished awkwardly, laughter gone.

"Mum's the same." Scorpius nodded wisely, not privy to his thoughts. "Always singing about sweets or coconuts, like I said."

"Coconuts?"

"The book one. She changes it up." He shrugged like he was embarrassed, a small smile on his face. "Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!"

Hogwarts wasn't all good. It wasn't good at all, actually.

It was flying lessons where stares drilled into his back when he missed a tossed Quaffle. It was uncooperative brooms and whispers of, "He's the son of the Soaring Weasley? Trips over his own feet! Y'think he's adopted?"

It was seventh years coming up, kind and grandiose, offering to help with finding the Charms classroom. Then asking if they could have Harry Potter's autograph ("Or two? My sister's a huge fan, she'd kill for one!").

It was Rose's gaping and his cousins' pulling him aside to ask if things were alright down in the dungeons. Like it was a slow and torturous death sentence.

It was the letters from home. His mum's were nice and he chuckled at some of his Aunts' and Uncles'. His dad kept trying to understand but brought it back around to himself ("…things will pick up soon. Sometimes it's hard to see the light when it's dark. But there's always a dawn and, when it comes, the world becomes so much brighter! I wish you didn't have to deal with gossipers, but they always let off. They become bored. Why, when I was twelve everyone was convinced I was a Dark Lord! Can you imagine?").

It was his dorm mates, all but Scorpius walking on eggshells around him. They were convinced that, if they put a toe out of line, he would get his Wizarding Saviour dad to blast them clear past the Forbidden Forest.

It was the classes. Because Albus was smart, he had no problem with magic at home. But it was bloody well hard to concentrate with everyone staring at him, muttering about him, and the rumours only grew worse when he fudged a potion or was less than perfect in Transfiguration.

It was the students who weren't thrilled a Potter was in Slytherin, and who made their views clear.

"Puttering Potter!" a boy with a face of a cauldron jeered, yellow scarf flung around pudgy shoulders. Albus would say he was surrounded, but it was more that this bloke was covering the exits while his two mates were squeezed in at his sides.

The lanky boy to the right smirked, wand in hand. "Nah, that's too light. How can you call yourself a Potter? The Squib Slytherin, more like it."

"Can't even do a lumos! How pathetic is that?" the one to the left exclaimed, wand pointed at the young student.

"Yeah," Albus replied, fingering a dungbomb in his pocket and waiting for an opening. He didn't know the three Hufflepuffs. But they knew of him, and he was sick of being cornered by the older years. He was running short on Wizard Wheezes products thanks to the confrontations. "That's right, I made an explosion instead. Haven't you heard? That's the Potter specialty."

"'Potter specialty', my arse!" a new voice rang out down the narrow hallway. With a sinking heart Albus saw his grinning cousin prod aside the bullies and take in the scene. "Explosions are all Weasley."

"Nah, your side of the family are more like pyros." Another voice echoed. Albus swore as James also pushed through, widening the circle as the Hufflepuffs blinked at the new arrivals. His fingers tightened around the dungbomb. "What's with the powwow? Inter-house bonding?"

"Doesn't look much like that." Fred glanced at his peeved younger cousin, the surrounding students only now shaking off their shock.

"I'm taking care of it," Albus hissed at his relatives. Said hiss was ignored.

"You're right," James answered Fred as he stepped back and forth in mock thought, forcing the circle wider. "Radley here doesn't play nice with others. Invading my brother's personal space? Tsk tsk."

"We're talking," 'Radley', the luggy one, said gruffly. "Isn't that right, Potter?"

"James," Albus tried again, "piss off."

Fred tossed him an amused glance before returning to the Hufflepuffs. "Because what it looks like is three sixth years ganging up on a firstie. Luckily, we figured we'd jump in and even out the numbers."

"Fred!"

"You're outpowered." The skinny one to the right still had his wand drawn.

"Would you look at that." Fred glanced around, unconcerned. "James, I think they think we're going to fight them."

"I wouldn't be opposed." James was equally nonchalant. "Of course, I was planning on filling their dorm with nifflers for the next month. But if you want to get off a few spells first?"

The other group had started shifting. Fred grinned in delight. "I wouldn't mind! Uncle Harry taught me some interesting ones."

The three bullies paled at this, scurrying off while tripping over their own feet. As soon as they were gone James scowled at his cousin. "Bringing up my dad? Really?"

Fred shrugged, smile falling off. "It worked."

"Git. Al, you alright?"

"I didn't need your help!" Albus burst out before he knew what he was saying, taking his hand off the dungbomb. James raised an eyebrow, irritation at his cousin shifting away. "I was handling it!"

"Sure looked like you were handling it." Fred glanced down the corridor the boys had fled. "Are people giving you a hard time?"

"It's fine, I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

James stared at him for a long moment. "Freddie, didn't you want to talk to Vanessa before Charms? You'll want to hurry up."

Fred opened his mouth but, in seeing his cousin's look, rolled his eyes and tossed his bag over his shoulder. "Secret Potter stuff, I get it. Al, let me know if I should turn anyone's hair into spiders."

"Fine, whatever," Albus said sullenly as Fred waltzed down the hallway. James remained, bag half-falling off. "You can bloody well leave too. Enough with the protective big brother act."

"Are you being bullied?"

"Course not."

"Seriously," James said in a low voice, "if someone's messing with you—"

"You tease me more than anyone!"

"Because I'm your brother, idiot," he groaned, throwing his head back. "How have you not gotten that yet?"

"Mum told you to look after me, didn't she."

"Don't be daft."

"Or dad, it was probably dad." Albus fumed to himself. "It's just like him, breathing down my neck. Never mind everyone hates me because I'm nothing like him! Slimy Slytherin, the Slytherin Squib. If I wasn't his son nobody would care I'm not in Gryffindor or that I don't like flying. Don't try to make out like you understand!"

James' expression tightened at the last. "You really are daft. Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathetic to the name-calling. But you think you're the only one who has a problem with dad?"

Albus scoffed. Things had always been effortless for his brother. Popular without trying, the class clown, and born on a broom.

"Being the first-born of 'the great Harry Potter', try that on for size." James rolled his eyes. "If the teachers aren't whispering about my wasted potential, I'm being cheerily compared to some relative—usually someone dead, mind you. I think Lily's the only one not bothered by being a Potter but, well, you know her."

He did. Neither brother wanted to try explaining their sister.

James sighed. "About the bullies, tell a professor or something. It's sort of what they're here for. They do something else, too, but it seems to have momentarily slipped my mind."

Albus gave a reluctant grin, feeling a touch better despite himself. Though he was still peeved. "I'm not doing that. I can take care of it, stop barging in."

"Sure." Another long look and quirk of his head. "This Malfoy's odd, I've heard. Eh, like we can talk. But you're being, ya know, careful? He a good bloke?"

Albus softened. "The best."

If his bullies ended up with pink hair or tentacles for arms after they teased him, he didn't mention it. But he did get James and Fred particularly nice Christmas presents.

If he noticed that Scorpius' bullies met the same fate, this also went unsaid. Though he might've added more chocolates to the gifts.

"My mum worked with your Aunt, did you know?"

Albus nodded before stopping, the obvious question coming to mind. "Which Aunt?"

"Audrey Weasley. She's a family friend. Dad's peaky around her but she's always around for tea. Ack, what I wouldn't do for her ginger biscuits!"

The name gave Albus pause. Whirling around he properly looked at his friend. "Aunt Audrey? Your mum's an Unspeakable?"

"Yep. Or used to be, at any rate." Scorpius scrubbed the back of his neck. "What with being ill she's on indefinite leave. Still goes on about her projects like nothing else. Fascinating, really, though I don't understand much of it! Too many paradoxes for my liking."

Albus' thoughts cast back to what his Aunt Audrey classified as 'fascinating projects'. An enthusiastic and bubbly woman, she was rather scary. "What sorts of projects? Because if my Aunt's not baking cookies she's going on about dark matter destroying the world. I think she's trying to make the stuff. Uncle Percy swears up and down she's not, but we're all sort of…wary?"

"Nah, not that." Scorpius cast away the concerns. "Mum's big thing is time-turners. There's a reason for the rumours about me, after all. Not that I'm blaming her!" he added hurriedly. "But with her going on about trying to turn back the clock and making theoretical closed time loops? People interpret it more as she has done it rather than her being a nutty sci fi fan."

"Sci fi?"

"Science fic—ooo, wizarding parents." Scorpius gave a grin, unease falling to the side. "Mum loves muggle books. Wait 'til you read Asimov, you'll die!"

A gush of wind, wrinkle of snow, and calendar pages turning. The Hogwarts Express wasn't as richly red as it'd been at the beginning of the year. The patches of gold seemed faded. The bricks of King's Cross, however, looked as aged as ever.

"My baby!" his mum swept him into an embrace with a fling of her heels, clunking luggage be damned. If her hold was tighter than it had been in September, he didn't mention it. There were people around, tonnes of people. They also made a thick crowd around Albus' descending family.

His dad was chuckling, reaching them at a more sedate pace (slowed by many revered gazes and gasped handshakes). "Let him breath, Gin!" A pat on his back and a 'Harry Potter' grin. "It's good to see you, the letters weren't nearly enough."

The surrounding crowd was muttering; his father poorly pretended they didn't exist. Near them his Uncle Ron had swept up Rose with an enthusiastic cry ("ROSIE POSIE!" "…sweet Dumbledore, no dad. No."). Aunt Hermione laughed as she held Hugo's hand.

"I love you so much," his mum was whispering while holding Albus to her. He hadn't realised she smelled like vanilla and flowers until just that moment. "You wouldn't believe how much we missed you and your brother! It's about time winter decided to pop out its head."

"Missed you too, mum," Albus murmured, watching as his dad greeted James. Lily's braids were longer and she hugged him tightly—and menacingly—after his mother had let go.

"Slytherin?" Lily mumbled in his ear, up on her toes.

"Sorry Lils," Albus pulled back, giving his baby sister a weak smile. "I guess you won't be the first in the family."

Lily stuck out her tongue in response, blowing a raspberry. "Like I'd be Sorted there! Actually cunning people are undercover in Hufflepuff, obvs."

"Yeah yeah."

"ALBUS!" Uncle Ron had put Rose down so he could clap Albus' shoulder (as Lily had skipped off to their dad). "It's been too long. Congrats again on breaking the Gryffindor curse! I won ten galleons off George for that one. Good show, mate. JAMES! Blimey, you've shot up a foot."

"Excuse me?" his mum said icily as James was greeted. "You two were betting on my son?"

"Not as much as we're betting on your daughter." Ron spotted the snickering girl in question. Giving an exaggerated roar he picked her up with a swing. "LILY! My favourite psychotic niece. It's been too long!"

Albus laughed but his dad was sighing. "You were over for dinner yesterday. More importantly, stop saying things like that about Lily! It only encourages her."

"Like she needs encouragement." Aunt Hermione came over from greeting James and Fred, smiling warmly at Albus. "Hello dear. Have you forgotten how to write? I've hardly had a word about your classes or how you're getting on."

But then his mum was sweeping him into another hug and Albus tuned out all else.

"HUGO! I missed you, son!"

Rose facepalmed as Ron swept up his giggling, pre-Hogwarts-aged son. "Stop being embarrassing, dad. There are people here. People!"

"Oh love," Hermione pulled her protesting daughter close with a kiss to her hair, "as though your father cares about that."

A/N: I adore Cursed Child but I do have problems with it. High on that list is how James Sirius and Lily Luna were completely ignored (as well as poor Teddy, but I'm likely about to commit the same error). My second problem with the play is how it spits in the face of Ron's and Ginny's characters (and, like, ignores all the other Weasleys?). So…this story's focused on the dynamics between the Potter siblings and their parents, with plenty of Weasley love along the way. Scorpius is also along for the ride, as he's overtaken Ron as my favourite HP character (don't bother questioning my endless love for Cursed Child, Ron Weasley, or Scorpius Malfoy: things will go faster that way).

If you haven't read/seen Cursed Child—first off, apologies for the spoilers. But I'm keeping the personalities pretty close to canon. This is with the exception of Lily, as I find it hilarious picturing the Potters having an adorable speck of a daughter who's terrifying to boot. I love the idea of the brothers being close and both having issues with their identities within their larger-than-life family. While Albus worries about living up to his dad's name, James is annoyed at being constantly compared to his relatives.

For those who came here from my original Hallowed Time Twists, thank you again for sticking with me! While the next few chapters are diverging off of the original plot, once the story gets going there will be far more similarities between the two. Just with less plotholes and amateur paradoxes.